Chasing the Lion's tail Chapter 4
61. Rumors
They start somewhere in her sixth year and suddenly people are calling her a slut and whisper whenever she walk past them. She acts like it does not affect her, but when she sees how James, Remus and Peter put a group of seventh years into the hospital wing and the rumors finally stop, she is so relieved that she cries.
62. Bells
She had thought that the OWLs had been bad, but in her sixth year she was forced to come to the conclusion, that it was not going to get better as long as she was a student. There was so much to do and she was rushing from one lesson to the next.
63. Red
Denebola was a Gryffindor, but a part of her would always hate the color red. Not the Gryffindor scarlet, but the red James kept going on and on about. Lily was pretty, there was no denying it. But she really wanted James to talk about silky black hair instead of fiery red.
64. Doubt
Her eyes were fixed on the headline of the newspaper, proclaiming the existence of a dark lord in England. The signs had been there for a long time, especially when one grew up in the Black family, but the ministry had continued to deny his existence. It seemed like it was over now. Cold fear griped Denebolas heart as her eyes flickered over the people she cared about. Remus, Peter, James... Regulus. And she could not help but wonder if all of them were going to be long enough to see peaceful times again.
65. Always
Denebola had kept her distance from her brother since the two of them had come to Hogwarts, she had tried to talk to him at first, but he had ignored her attempts and stuck with his housemates. So she was surprised when he came up to her in the corridors one day to talk to her. It was a strange conversation, that ended with Denebola assuring Regulus, that despite everything she would always be his older sister.
66. Perfect
Her first kiss was a Ravenclaw from the year above her. He was a good kisser and he did keep his hands away from places that were too inappropriate. When he kissed her Denebola closed her eyes and tried to chase away the image of a boy a little taller than the Ravenclaw with messy hair and crooked glasses and the feeling that his presence would have made the kiss perfect.
67. Butterfly
Denebola was not sure why people talked about having butterflies in their stomach, she never felt like that. Maybe it was because her feelings were so much more intense and butterflies were not enough to describe what she felt. But a voice in the back of her mind, soundings suspiciously like her cousin Bellatrix told her, that she did not deserve a butterfly love. Why would they go near her when she had watched Bella rip of their wings when she was little?
68. Kiss
The first time Denebola kissed James was when the two of them where alone in the common room doing the homework that was due the next day. James was not concentrating properly and when she asked him what was bothering him, he confessed to her, that he feared being a bad kisser. She offered to check, not expecting him to actually take her up on the offer, but he did and she came to the conclusion that while James was not the best kisser, he certainly was above average. It was a kiss Denebola would always cherish.
69. Subtle
The change in Lily's and James' relationship was nearly unnoticeable, but Denebola could see the little gestures that had changed from the previous years. She saw who Lily smiled whenever she saw James or how James smirk got just a bit more dashing whenever Lily stepped into a room. And not even two weeks after the term had begun Denebola knew that this was the years James would finally win over the girl of his dreams and it would never be her.
70. Nightmare
In her last years in Hogwarts Denebola was plagued by more and more frightening nightmares the closer they got to the graduation day. It was during this days, that she became Lily's friend. Because Lily had taken the fact that she was now dating James as an incentive to try and get along with his other friends too. And while Lily would never meet up to James, she was skilled at chasing away nightmares as well.
71. Mistletoe
The look on James face is hilarious Denebola realizes when she leans down to press her lips against the ones of Lily Evans. She did not really plan on this, but it was James fault for pushing her under the enchanted mistletoe without looking who else is standing under it. Lily is a good kisser she realizes, not as good as James, but she can see the appeal.
72. Locket
When they step out of the Hogwarts express Denebola tightly clutches the necklace her friend had given her on their first Christmas together and takes a deep breath before stepping onto the platform where James is leaning against the train waiting for her and laughing at her surprised face before he pulls her along to meet up with the others.
73. Mercy
She does not know what to feel when she recognizes the wand she had just taken from one of the deatheaters as her brothers. She feels like a part inside of her is breaking and has to bite her lip to keep the tears from falling but she does not attack him, instead she throws the wand back to him and tells him to run. He does. And Denebola is left staring at the spot from which he disappeared till long after the attack is over.
74. Poppy
It is her brothers funeral and she is standing in the last row knowing full well that she is not welcome here and her mother would hex her as soon as she laid her eyes on her. Denebola watches the closed coffin wondering if there was actually enough left of her brother that he needed a coffin and she wonders if the flowers are appropriate for the occasion given her brother's cause of death.
75. Fall
They are sitting in the living room of her flat staring at the clock on the wall. The seconds are ticking by and finally the clock hand jumps onto eleven. The Hogwarts express leaves for Hogwarts and this year they are not going. They are silent for a few moments before James starts to laugh followed shortly by Peter and Remus and Denebola takes a deep breath before she tears a gaze away from the clock.
76. Key
She is surprised when the thing James throws at her is a key and it must have shown on her face because he laughs and tells her that she is always welcome. Denebola does not know what to say so when he throws an arm around her shoulder and drags her through Diagon Alley she simply smiles. Maybe live after Hogwarts won't be completely horrible after all.
77. Hatred
It would be a lot easier to hate Lily if she was not such a nice person, Denebola muses while she and the other Marauders sit in Lily's kitchen and watch as she cooks. Denebola wishes Lily were gone but at the same time she would miss her terribly because Lily is someone who you simply cannot dislike no matter how much you sometimes want to. So when Lily turns around and places a plate in front of her Denebola gives her a smile and digs in.
78. Rainbow
Rainbows are connections that do not really connect to points Denebola thinks and maybe one could see the connection between the day James got his hands on Rosier to the day he choose James son to be more dangerous than Franks. Both were exceptional wizards, but she knew that Frank did not hold the same capacity for ruthlessness that James showed that day. And ruthlessness was something Voldemort appreciated much more than chivalry.
79. Diamond
The other trainees look at her with suspicion and no matter how bitter she feels about it, she has seen her cousins wanted poster and knows that no matter which house she was sorted into in their eyes she will always be a Black first. But when Moody looks at her in appreciation after she finishes the first training run and tells her that she is a diamond in the rough and that she will prove them all wrong, Denebola cannot help but grin back.
80. Drunk
James stag party is already over and Denebola does not feel drunk at all. She could not bring herself to drink as much as the others because she fears she would have started crying and suddenly telling the truth. But when she walks James home and he throws an arm around her shoulder she kisses him. He will never remember, but she does not regret doing so, it was her way of saying goodbye.
