A/N: Hey hey hey! So, I'm back guys, just as promised:)
Thank you to all of you who reviewed last chapter. You guys are truly amazing and my inspiration for writing this story.
SHOUTS OUT!
-Love Sparkle: I know...this one's even...MORE...so.
-AkireAlev:Hey! I was glad to hear from you again, and I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I feel bad for Kendall too...we'll see how things turn out I guess...I'm just as clueless as to what I write next as you, lol.
-Samanthateach:Thanks! And thanks for reviewing!
-someone3: Loved "Big Time Tests"
-SuperNeos2:Thanks! And thanks for reviewing!
-annabellex2: I know, I miss writing Kames...but we'll see, we'll see...
-4ever with Kames: That's okay. Not everyone has to love Jo...personally I just- I don't know, sympathize with her, show-verse. Believe me when I say, I have a tough time watching the episodes...I don't live in the U.S which makes finding the episodes REALLY hard...usually I never get to wat ch them until days after they've come out. So sad...
-Kendaliosis: I agree...por Kendall. Sometimes I feel bad for writing this and making him suffer...but I get over it, lol. Hope you still enjoy the story and thanks for the review!
-cashmeere: Yes, I know, it's very emotive. I'm glad you liked Big Time Rides and hope you had fun watching Big Time Tests like I did, lol.
-Eloisa M:Soon...who knows, maybe? :) Thanks for the review!
-CrazyMary01: Hope this was fast enough for you ;) Thanks for reviewing!
-JT:We'll see about that...you have to keep reading :)
YOU'RE AWESOME! :)
To those of you who favd. and/or alerted this story, thanks!
*Larabee's Lady
*Katty Borz
And without further ado...ch. 4!
Enjoy!
Cheers,
Franshes
DISCLAIMER: If BTR were mine...I wouldn't have to suffer through youtube's awful copyright policies which force me to watch the BTR Season 4 episodes in VERY bad quality (or go through countless useless links for hours until I actually find ONE that works)...alas, not mine.
Ch.4: Big Time Uncertainty
Kendall woke up feeling strangely anxious. He was very uneasy. More so than generally.
He shrugged it off as being caused by the bad night he'd spent, tossing and turning in the middle of nightmares regarding both James and Jo.
When he got downstairs to the kitchen, his mom was on the phone and Carlos, Katie, and Logan were eating their breakfast quietly, all with somber expressions on their faces.
"What's wrong?" Kendall asked, scanning their sad faces upon entering the room.
His mom held up a hand to silence him as she continued to talk over the phone with someone. It sounded very serious.
"It's James," Logan managed finally "He-he's not doing so well..."
Kendall's eyes widened in dread.
"No," he whispered "Logan, the doctors said he was getting better!"
"His heart crashed twice last night..." Logan continued, his voice shaky with unshed tears "He-he"
"Please tell me he didn't die Logan," Kendall said, his eyes watering up as he grabbed hold of Logan and shook him roughly "Tell me he didn't die!"
"He didn't," Carlos said finally.
"But the doctors don't think he's going to make it to nighttime either," Katie croaked, her nose pink. It was evident she'd been crying.
"It was one bullet..." Kendall said softly before yelling "One FUCKING bullet! How much damage can a single bullet cause?"
"How many people survive a bullet to the heart Kendall?" Logan snapped.
"Well I don't care what your statistics say, Logan, he's going to make it!" Kendall yelled back.
"Shut up both of you!" Mama Knight yelled and it was obvious she was very stressed out from whatever the doctor was telling her, otherwise she'd never snap like that.
Logan, Kendall, Carlos, and Katie, unable to keep calm anymore all began crying almost at once. It was like the reality of the situation hadn't truly sunken in until that point. Like they'd unconsciously been holding on to the little bit of hope that James was going to return to them after some time.
Mama Knight hung up the phone and sighed. Blinking back tears and trying to appear her strongest she gazed at the teens in front of her.
"Boys, Katie," she said simply "Go and get ready...we'll have a bite to eat over at the hospital. James...he needs you there with him today..."
Everyone nodded, swallowing the huge lumps in their throats and went to get ready.
In fifteen minutes' time, they were heading towards the hospital...
At the hospital...
They all made a rush for the information desk.
"James Diamond, please," Kendall gasped, knowing that James had most likely been moved into the Intensive Care Unit.
"Ah, yes," the nurse answered them, checking her computer and looking at them sympathetically "He was moved into the Intensive Care Unit this morning...umm, let's see- Albert!"she called out to a tall, black, male nurse nearby. He approached them.
"These people are here for James Diamond, could you please show them where Mr. Diamond is now?" she asked him. He nodded and motioned for them to follow him.
"Right this way please," he said, leading them up the elevator into the fourth floor.
"How-how is he...do you know?" Kendall asked weakly.
Albert sighed.
"Look, I won't lie to you folks," he said "He's not doing so well. I don't know how much they've told you but his heart crashed twice last night and, given the delicate state he's in, we don't know how much cerebral damage was caused by the time his brain remained oxygen-deprived. That said, not all hope is lost. We had to insert a pace-maker to relieve some of the stress his heart was under and that should stabilize him and prevent another crisis like the one last night. There's still a chance his body might reject the pace-maker, in which case he could die today. However, that's very unlikely. Still, it doesn't look like your friend will be waking up anytime soon. I'm sorry,"
Everyone sighed sadly.
"What are his chances of pulling through?" Kendall asked bravely "Honestly?"
"Well...your friend is very strong." Albert said hesitantly "A bullet to the heart...not many people survive to tell that tale. Most would be dead by now for less than what your friend has been through. Still...I don't know how much longer his body will be able to hold out. If he doesn't wake up soon...well, there are some people who just never wake up, guys. They spend their whole lives in a coma and-then they die. As simple as that. I know that sounds terrible to you but...you DID ask me to be honest with you all..." he said sadly.
Hearing this, Kendall had to force himself to take several deep breaths to keep himself from breaking down completely in front of everyone. Even though they all seemed very unsettled by this last bit of information.
"We're here," Albert announced finally "Now, if you'll excuse me..."
None of them heard him though, they were all transfixed, staring at James with heavy hearts.
The brunette boy was lying motionless in the hospital bed in a corner, with more tubes sticking out of him than previously. He was hooked on a heart monitor as well as an I.V. The heart monitor beeped unusually slow.
A doctor passing by James' bed stopped to examine James and frowned at what he saw.
"His pulse is still very weak," he said to a nearby nuse "Did you already give him the dose of verapamil I told you this morning?"
"We're out of verapamil doctor," the nurse said flustered "What could we use instead?"
"Alright then, no matter, do we have propranolol?"the doctor asked.
The nurse nodded.
"Administer that through the I.V...same dose as before," the doctor said before moving on to the next patient.
"James..." Kendall whispered sadly. The brunette was looking even paler than before. He was almost as white as the hospital bed-sheets he was lying on. His hair, his precious and usually flawless hair was sprawled on the hospital pillow, all knotted and sticking out in all directions. If James were awake to see himself right now, surely he'd be horrified at his current image.
The nurse smiled sadly when she saw them approach. Quickly, she finished injecting the prescribed medicine into the I.V before she moved on, giving all of them the space to be near James.
"Stay strong James..." Kendall whispered, caressing James' face and hair while tears streamed down his face "You have to. You can't leave me yet, James, I love you...I miss you, please, please wake up, baby."
Next, Logan came up to James and looked down at his friend. He blinked several times, unwilling to cry in front of Kendall, not wishing to upset the blonde even further.
"This is your dream-life, buddy."he said softly, carefully taking hold of James' hand without disturbing the various tubes he was hooked on "You have to wake up so you can enjoy it..."
"Don't leave us James," Carlos said, coming up to the brunette before briefly caressing his hair as well "We all need you...more than you'd think,"
"Is Brooke coming over?" Logan asked Mama Knight "This might be...you know, the goodbye for all of us..."
"Don't say that!" Kendall snapped at Logan "What kind of friend are you? He's going to make it! He HAS to!"
"The next 48 hours are critical to determine that," the nurse said, once again approaching them "We shall see by then if his body hasn't rejected the pace-maker and if his heart rate is back to normal which should reduce the brain swelling that's currently threatening his life..."
"Brain-swelling?" Everyone asked weakly.
"All he suffered was a bullet to his heart, how can that cause brain swelling? Especially if you extricated the bullet already?" Kendall asked softly.
"Well, you see...the heart's main fuction is to transport oxygen- amongst other vital nutrients-to the body. Including the brain. When the bullet hit him, though thankfully it did not perforate the aorta- for he would've died instantly if such had been the case- it still caused severe hemorrhages which left him with a really low amount of blood and oxygen in his body- thus, not enough oxygen was able to reach his brain and it is what caused the coma in the first place. Now, however, due to the several cardiac arrests he's had in the last few hours, his brain has once again been deprived of oxygen- thus increasing the brain swelling to alarming rates. Furthermore, your friend has developed anemia...we're treating him for it but still..." the nurse said.
She looked at the distressed people in front of her and sighed. Some days she REALLY hated her job. Sometimes, it was worth it, all the pain and suffering she had to see on her day-to-day basis was paid off by a patient making a full recovery and her being able to watch an overjoyed family reunite with their beloved family member. Those days were nice and reminded her that not all the sacrifices she made were in vain. But, more often than not, she had to see cases like this. Where there was absolutely nothing she could do to alleviate a family's pain over the loss of a loved one. Sadly, she saw too many hopeless cases like this one, working in the Intensive Care Unit and children (or teenagers as in this young man's case) were the worst...
'So young' she though sadly 'Too young and already gone forever...'
Putting on a brave smile she gazed at the group.
"We're doing everything we can to help him," she said sincerely.
"Thank you," Kendall answered her, though he didn't take his eyes off James.
The next hours were possibly the longest in the boys' lives...
That night...
Everyone returned to the apartment, tired, and dragging their feet.
They were relieved that, so far, James had had no other complications but that still didn't take off the weight of the fact he was now worse than he'd been before.
Mama Knight went straight to the laundry room, located a couple of blocks away from Palm Woods, to wash everything she could get her hands on and Katie immediately asked permission to camp out by the Palm Wood's pool with Buddha Bob and Tyler.
Carlos and Logan went straight to their room to sleep, not saying much to anybody.
Once again, Kendall was left alone.
His thoughts weighing him down, he made his way into the bathroom where he splashed his face several times, wishing the pain would go away already.
Glancing at his face in the mirror, he was suddenly overcome with a fit of rage.
Life wasn't fair, in fact, life hated him, of that he was sure. First, life had taken his father away from him and now the love of his life.
Once again he wished the bullet had hit him instead of James.
Shaking with fury at the injustice of it all, Kendall smashed the mirror with his fists, breaking it into a million pieces and cutting his hand in the process.
Still breathing heavily, and in more pain than ever, he grabbed a shard of the broken mirror. He briefly looked at his mad expression reflecting back at him before pressing the shard of the mirror against his wrists and digging deep down with it...
With Carlos and Logan...
Carlos groaned as he continued to hear a knock outside the door.
"Logan, someone keeps knocking on the door!" he moaned "Who can it be?"
"Well, Mama Knight and Katie are out, though I don't know why Kendall isn't answering the door...I'll go check," Logan said with a sigh.
He got up and slowly made his way to the door, all the while wondering where the hell Kendall was.
He was shocked when he opened the door to reveal Jo, with an anguished expression on her face.
"C-Come in," he said weakly.
She rushed inside.
"Tell me, is it true?" she asked him "Tyler told Camille and she told me that Katie had told Tyler that James was dying- is it true?"
"Well...he's better now than he was yesterday," Logan said, swallowing the lump in his throat "But he's still very delicate, yes..."
"I'm so sorry..." Jo said, briefly hugging Logan "Where's Kendall? He can't be taking the news too well..."
"Well...as a matter of fact...I don't know where he is," Logan admitted. Jo wheeled around.
"WHAT?" she screeched "You mean to tell me that, after you guys came back from the hospital, knowing James was delicate and knowing how much Kendall loves James and how much he's hurting you left him ALONE? Logan! He could do something stupid!" she said.
"I-I...guess we never thought of that," Logan stammered.
"We HAVE to find him!" Jo said, growing agitated.
"Hey, hey calm down. He can't have left the apartment...I would've heard him leave through the door..." Logan tried to reason with Jo.
"I don't care, something doesn't feel right in here..." Jo said "Call it intuition or whatever you want but I know something's wrong..."
Logan shrugged.
"How bad can it be?" he said.
"VERY bad..." Jo said, shaking her head "Depression's a very serious thing Logan. We have to find him, but first, I have to pee. Where's your bathroom?"
"Um...that way- second door to your left," Logan said, indicating the way.
"Thanks," Jo said "Meanwhile, try calling him on your cellphone..."
"Will do..." Logan said, shaking his head. Sometimes girls just worried too much, he thought, he was sure Kendall was alright. He was probably sulking in his room-
That's when he heard Jo's blood-curdling scream.
With Jo...
Kendall was slumped on the floor, barely conscious, surrounded by blood.
His right and left arms were both currently streaming blood from deep wounds. A bloody knife lay a few feet away from Kendall.
"What have you done?" she exclaimed.
Logan and Carlos, who'd both heard her scream were next to her in an instant.
"Carlos, call 911..." Jo whispered.
Logan knelt beside her.
"We have to stop the bleeding," he said, snapping into doctor mode "Jo, get me the first aid kit from that blue cabinet on your left..."
Jo wasted no time and handed it to him.
Get out the sterile gauze and the bandages, please!" Logan said hurriedly "And help me lift him up, we need to rinse off his wounds..."
Together, they washed off Kedall's wounds.
Jo's heart shattered when it became clear that Kendall hadn't just been cutting himself at random. On both his arms he'd carved out James' name.
Next, she pressed the gauzes to Kendall's arms while Logan wrapped the bandages tightly around them, applying gente pressure to the wounds.
Next, they hauled Kendall into the living room sofa. They were both worried at how pale Kendall looked.
The ambulance arrived then and the paramedics took Kendall away, along with Carlos and Logan since Mama Knight and Katie weren't there. Jo meanwhile stayed behind trying to contanct both of them on their cellphones.
She grabbed a hold of Katie first, finding her down by the pool and finally Mrs. Knight and the three of them were driven to the hospital by Jo's dad...
At the hospital(once again)...
Everyone was crying silently as they waited to hear how Kendall was doing. Carlos, Logan, Mama Knight and Katie were blaming themselves for letting Kendall off on his own and Jo was just deathly scared that the next time she wouldn't be around in time to save him.
A plan began to form on her mind, however, a way that she might prevent this from happening again.
After briefly talking about it with her father, Jo approached Kendall's mom timidly.
"Mrs. Knight," she said softly "Can I speak to you for a second?"
"Y-yes, Jo, dear what is it?" Jennifer Knight asked, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.
"Well...my dad and I were wondering...we really don't want this to happen again but- honestly- I don't think Kendall's crazy or that he needs a shrink or something like that. It's just...he's lonely. And being in the apartment, in the bedroom he used to share with his boyfriend is only making things worse..." Jo said carefully.
"Go on," Mama Knight encouraged her.
"Well, my dad and I were wondering...if it's okay that we took Kendall to a nearby hotel for a while. It's not a permanent thing, maybe just for a week or two, to get his mind off of things...and for him to heal properly..." Jo said, biting her lip nervously.
"We'd really like it if Kendall came with us," Jo's dad said honestly "Trust me, m'am, I've seen this before. My wife went through the same things Kendall did...and she did not turn out alright, we just want Kendall to be okay..."
"I think you're right..."Mama Knight said with another sigh "We're all such a mess back home, Kendall needs someone to be strong for him for once and-and obviously I can't help him...but maybe you can Jo, yes, he may go live with you guys for a while..."
"Kendall Knight's family?" A doctor asked, coming out.
They all stood up.
"He's alright and awake if you want to see him...although I have to say, he was VERY lucky this time..." the doctor said.
Everyone rushed inside.
"Kendall!" his mom cried upon seeing him "Don't ever, EVER do that to me again, young man, do you understand?"
"I'm sorry mom," Kendall said, his voice sounded dead and flat "Won't happen again..."
"No, it better DON'T happen again," Katie said, coming up to him.
"When will I be able to go home?" Kendall asked quietly.
Everyone shared a look.
"Well...none of your wounds were TOO serious..." Logan said slowly "So you can, technically, leave today..."
"HOWEVER," Mama Knight intervened "We think it's best if you don't...come to Palm Woods...for a while at least..."
"What? But then where will I stay?" Kendall asked, disconcerted.
"With me and my dad at a nearby hotel..." Jo said, taking his hand "You had us so scared, Kendall, we just don't want that to happen again...and let's face it, you need to get away from all this for a little while..."
"Well then, okay," Kendall said softly, blinking back tears.
He wasn't dead. He hadn't made it. He couldn't even do one thing correctly!
He sighed.
Maybe Jo was right...maybe he DID need to get away from things if only for a little while...
A/N: Okay...overall sad chapter. Yes, I know, kill me for it...(no, actually, DON'T, please)
I promise though that after this chapter I'll lay off a bit from the Kames sadness. This is not, after all, a Kames angst story...though it's probably looking like that to you guys right now, isn't it?
Well, I got enough reviews last chapter...and I didn't kill James or Kendall off...so, yeah...
I'll try to answer reviews more often too...promise. Maybe not every chapter but...more often, definitely.
Please leave a review! Reviews are my inspiration for writing and allow me to make two (and maybe even more) updates per week! 8-10 are my happy numbers!
On a brighter note, "Big Time Tests" was EPIC! Don't you guys agree?
"So...you and James are back together again?"- Mama Knight
"Yep"- Kendall
I laughed SO hard! And the Cargan was CUTE as HELL! Carlos is SO right, corn dogs ARE the answer to life's problems! Lol.
Let me know what you guys thought of the chapter (or episode) whatever you feel on commenting! ;)
Cheers,
Franshes
