A.N. I checked the visitor count and nearly fainted. Other than the usual readers from America and my own country (Singapore), I've had readers from the UK, Philippines, Canada, China, Germany, New Zealand, France, Malaysia, Brazil, Austria, Italy, the Czech Republic, Poland, Spain, Hong Kong, Switzerland, Thailand, Colombia, Sweden, Norway, some other countries in Europe that were simply referred to as "Europe" for some reason and even motherflippin' Iceland himself. And Big Brother has only been around for like, four days? (HetaOni NB8 took a lot more time to get to this level) Kiitos paljon to all my wonderful readers! I will make sure I won't let you down!


Norway offered to help me with the dishes after breakfast but I refused, on the consensus that he couldn't reach the sink with his size. Slightly disappointed, he left to glare at Denmark, whatever that guy was doing.

I just stood in front of the sink for the next fifteen minutes, absentmindedly scrubbing and rinsing plastic plates (you can already tell I'm such a capable big brother). Somewhere, something fell down with a loud crash. I could hear angry Swedish screams coming from the living room.

If I was going to live through the day with these kids, I needed a game plan.

Following breakfast, I had four hours to burn before lunchtime. After that, another six or seven hours, followed by dinner, three more hours of free time and finally, bedtime at ten. That meant about thirteen hours of the day where anything could go wrong. Thirteen. Even the Universe wanted to curse me with bad luck.

Four hours... what could I do with four hours of free time?

Something flew into the kitchen and landed on the floor with a soft thud. I replaced the last plate on its drying rack and turned around just in time to see Finland retrieving a blue bird plush from under the kitchen counter.

He noticed me watching him and ran up, holding the plush up for me to see.

"Wanna play?" he asked, smiling warmly.

What could I say? His smile was so... irresistable. I accepted the plush and stared blankly at it, wondering what to do with it. Finland, noticing my confusion, skipped several metres away to the kitchen door and waved his arms. "Throw it at me! Throw it, big brother!" he called out.

Well, you know what they say. If you can't beat them, join them.

I hurled the bird at Finland. It smacked him straight in the face, sending him reeling backwards. He didn't complain. In fact, he giggled.

"My turn!" he announced, picking it up in his tiny hands. He wound back, pinwheeling his arms for maximum throwing distance. With a small cry, he thrust it forward.

I watched as it touched down barely a foot away from me.

"Waah! Why didn't it hit you?" Finland wailed, darting over to the bird plush. He picked it up again and used it to whack me several times. "It's hitting you! It's hitting you! Why aren't you poofing up in green pig-smoke yet?"

I simply let him hit me with the bird plush. "Because... I'm not a pig?"

He gazed up at me, perplexed. "Well, what are you then?"

I spread out my arms, revealing my grey hoodie sleeves in full. "The Mighty Eagle," I replied.

I couldn't help it. This 'playtime' thing was actually kind of fun.

Finland gasped in amazement. "Wow! The Mighty Eagle! Can you come with me, Eagle? I need help crushing the evil Swedish pig's Pillow Fort!"

"Crushing? Is that really necessary?" I asked him.

"Isn't that what all Mighty Eagles do?" he replied.

I briefly attempted to recall the Angry Birds games Finland used to show me. He was right; in the games, the Mighty Eagle could be summoned in-game to crush the pigs' castles when it got simply too frustrating flinging small birds at strategically built stone forts.

I sighed. "Alright then. Show me the castle you want me to crush."

"Yay! Kiitos!" Finland took my hand, leading me out of the kitchen. "Come on, hurry up!"


Unfortunately for Finland's Mighty Eagle, Sweden the Pig King had been 'recruiting' bodyguards.

"Wahahaha! Your king has come to fight off the invaders!" Denmark, who had planted himself in front of Sweden's new Pillow Fort, declared. He had taken Finland's foam Minecraft sword and was waving it in the air, as if that would be enough to scare me off.

I scanned the living room. Sweden was nowhere to be seen but he was probaby inside the fort. Norway sat on the sofa, calmly reading a picture book. He didn't seem affected by the general battle noises and Danish yelling.

"Ha! That doesn't matter because I have the Mighty Eagle!" Finland shot back, gesturing dramatically at me.

Denmark took one look at me and burst into laughter. "That's no eagle, dummy! That's big brother Icey!"

Norway glanced up at the words 'big brother'. He stared at me for a moment, then returned to his book in earnest.

"Don't call me Icey," I muttered. "I have a proper name."

Finland huffed. "You don't believe me? Fine then! Mighty Eagle, attack the pig's castle!"

What was I supposed to do? I shuffled over to Sweden's fort, making lame eagle noises and flapping my arms as I closed in on it. (Somewhere, America is cringing in horror; I'm sure of it) Denmark, realising I had effortlessly bypassed his imaginary defence line, charged at my legs with his sword. Nothing but annoyingly useless whacks on my jeans legs.

I delivered a swift kick on one of the fort's walls. The entire thing collapsed around Sweden almost instantly.

"Waaah! What didja do to m' fort?!" Sweden yelped from underneath the pillow pile.

Finland jumped for joy. "Yay! We crushed the evil pigs' lair! Eagles are stronger than lame old Danish kings!"

"No fair!" Denmark threw his sword at the Finn. It landed with a tiny plop on the carpet. "You got Icey to help you! He's bigger than all of us!"

"Just shut up and help me rebuild this thing, Den," Sweden cut in, already attempting to rebuild his fort.

I joined Norway on the sofa, watching Sweden's rebuilding efforts. Norway offered me his book and asked me to read to him. It was much more relaxing than crushing evil Swedish forts so I quickly agreed.

And that was how I survived my first morning with four young kid Nordics.