Yeah, yeah, I know, it's been awhile. Didya know that you haven't gotten to hear about Robyn and Ed since Christmas Eve? Time to change that, I suppose, before Robyn throws a lamp or something at me. So, yeah, heh, sorry about the delay, once again. Thanks very much to auricvision to providing me with inspiration that will probably make this much easier to update for a bit. ;)
-sings- Not mine, not mine, Fullmetal Alchemist is not mine and never waaaaaas!
Get on with it! Yeah, get on with it!
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Chapter Four – The Tale of the Tomato
"Robyn?" Ed whispered softly, poking his head into the room. "Hey, Robbie, are you awake?" Robyn moaned and rolled onto her side, making Ed sigh heavily.
"Since when do you call me Robbie?" she finally muttered in a low voice that was absolutely dripping with sleepiness. Ed considered the question for a moment as he played his words back in his head, and then realized that he had indeed called her that.
"Since today, I guess," he shrugged with a smirk. He didn't even know why he had called her that, but now he was going to stick to it. After all, she called him Sunshine all the time, not his most favorite of nicknames, but better since it came from Robyn. It was just Equivalent Exchange to call her something in return, right?
"So what's up?" Robyn said, turning to peek a pair of purple eyes at him out from her pillow. Ed just shrugged and leaned against the doorframe.
"Can you just not sleep or something?" Robyn asked, and Ed frowned in a way that she knew meant 'Yes, but I don't want to admit it' on Ed. She smiled and shook her head, deciding not to push the matter any further.
"What time is it?" Robyn asked, turning her head back into her pillow with a sigh. Ed glanced around the room twice before noticing that there weren't any clocks in the room, and he didn't have his pocket watch either since he hadn't bothered to get dressed.
"Um… early, I guess," Ed guessed with a shrug, earning a laugh from Robyn.
"Early enough for Ben to be up, you think?" she asked, turning to look at Ed again. "I still have to somehow tell him that I'm not really Thomas." She thought for a moment, then grimaced and added, "Plus Kris will probably want to commandeer my leg. Usually the people in that house end up rising with the sun, so I think it'll be fine…"
Robyn paused and looked over at Ed, who seemed lost in thought. "Sunshine? Are you okay?" she asked softly, and Ed blinked in surprise before shaking his head as if he was clearing it.
"I'm fine," he said softly, looking down at the floor instead of at Robyn.
"Don't you dare give me that crap," Robyn snapped, making Ed turn to look at her quickly. "I know something's up, so tell me what it is." Ed sighed and ran a hand through his bangs.
"I guess… I'm just nervous about this whole thing…" Ed said slowly after a minute. "I didn't ever really think that… I dunno, it's just kinda hard to imagine…" He trailed off slowly with a sigh as he began to nervously scratch the back of his head. Robyn smiled slightly before pushing herself out of bed. She then walked over to Ed and hugged him tightly.
"I know, Ed," she whispered softly, and then pulled away slightly to look at him. "Getting married is a pretty scary thought. It's a big change, and we won't really be able to go back easily either. But we don't have to get married right away either, you know," she said softly, and Ed looked up at her with wide eyes. "We could just wait until it's not quite so scary."
"That sounds good," Ed said with a small smile. He then paused for a moment before adding with a grin, "So, are you going to go visit Ben in just your pajamas?"
"No," Robyn shook her head and stuck out her tongue. "Would you wait for me for a minute?"
"Uh, duh," Ed laughed, before pushing her towards the dresser and then closing the bedroom door behind him with a click. He figured he might as well leave her alone while she got dressed. She didn't care about him sticking around sometimes, but other times she ended up snapping at him, so Ed figured it'd be better to be safe than sorry.
T-H-I-S--I-S--A--D-I-V-I-D-I-N-G--L-I-N-E
Robyn and Ed stood outside on the porch of the Kissters house. Ed knocked on the door, then paused and looked over at Robyn. She seemed nervous from the way she was wringing her hands and how sweat was sliding down her forehead. He reached over and gently stilled her hands by clasping them in his own before leaning over and giving her a light kiss on the cheek.
"It'll be fine," he whispered, and Robyn looked over at him with wide eyes. She opened her mouth and was about to say something when the door suddenly swung inward.
"Edward."
"Roberta."
Both spun their heads quickly to look at who was addressing them so coldly, when they saw that Winry and Kris were standing side by side in the open doorway. Both Ed and Robyn's eyes widened as they took in the situation in front of them.
"Oh shiiit…" Robyn muttered, clutching at Ed's hands.
"Holy crap…" Ed said softly, and Winry smirked.
"How could you treat her masterpiece like that, you asshole?!" Kris shouted before reaching out and grabbing Ed by the ear and dragging him forward while he protested quickly.
"And why don't you perform regular maintenance?!" Winry demanded before grabbing Robyn tightly by the arm and dragging her into the house. Robyn tried to say how she had tried her best to keep up maintenance, but things had kept getting in the way, but none of it deterred Winry at all.
"Hey, you're here too?" Ed said in surprise as he saw Al and Harley bent over a book in the living room. Al looked up in surprise, then grinned and waved cheerfully at Ed. "But-! Hey! Al! You've got to help me!" Ed yelled as Kris dragged him upstairs.
"Sorry, Brother, you're on your own!" Al called out cheerfully, only leading to even angrier shouts of protest from Ed as he was carted away. Robyn just sighed and meekly followed behind Winry like a puppy with its tail between its legs.
Ed and Robyn were then both shoved onto beds in the workroom, and Kris and Winry switched charges before Robyn or Ed had a chance to escape, and then rolled up the pant legs of both. The two both then swiftly flipped some switches and simultaneously pulled out both Ed and Robyn's automail legs before hoisting them up on their shoulders and grinning at each other.
"I say we don't give them spring-powered legs while we manage to fix up what they've fouled up this time," Winry smirked mischievously.
"I think the two assholes deserve it," Kris agreed with a nod. The two girls then smiled at each other and walked out of the room side by side, leaving Ed and Robyn to stare after them.
"Ho-ly crap," Ed repeated as he stared after them. "Robyn, did we ever make any plans for if the world was destroyed? Because I don't think it will last until next Tuesday."
"Why Tuesday?" Robyn asked with a laugh. "What's so special about Tuesday?"
"Because…" Ed started slowly, then stopped and shook his head instead. "No, scratch that, they'd destroy the world on a Monday. Mondays always suck." Robyn laughed again, and then the two fell into silence as they each stared at their missing leg.
"I'm booored," a voice suddenly called out, and Robyn perked up in surprise just as Ben walked calmly into the room. He ignored Robyn completely and instead walked over to Ed's side, making Robyn's face fall slightly.
"Eeeed, where's Thomas?" Ben sighed heavily, putting his chin on the bed beside Ed's leg.
"Thomas…?" Ed said slowly, glancing around Ben to look over at Robyn. She winced slightly as he looked at her, and then turned her head to look out the window instead. "Thomas isn't here right now," Ed told Ben slowly. "But I'm sure that Robyn over there would be happy to try and help get rid of your boredom."
Ben picked up his head and turned to look at Robyn curiously. The two locked eyes with each other for a minute, and the Ben grinned and waved at Robyn.
"Do you know any good stories?" Ben asked, and Robyn laughed.
"Of course we do," she said quickly, making Ben's face light up. "Ed, help me tell the story, alright?" Ed was a bout to open his mouth to protest when Robyn jumped in with "Once upon a time…" She then paused, bit her lip in consideration, and then said, "Uh, you go, Ed."
"Huh?" Ed said, perking up in surprise, but then noticing Robyn's look directed towards him, said quickly, "Uh, there was a… tomato?"
"A happy tomato," Robyn corrected with a grin.
"A hap-" Ed started repeating, then stopped, and wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion at what he was saying. "Wait, what? How the hell is the tomato happy?"
"It's not being eaten!" Robyn explained quickly with a grin, and Ben nodded enthusiastically in agreement.
"Duh," Ben stated simply, crossing his arms across his chest.
Ed gaped at the two in amazement before finally managing to say. "…Right. Brilliant, Robyn."
"Thank you, Ed," she replied, and Ed got the feeling that she was only barely managing to hold her amusement rather than bursting out into hysterical giggles on the spot.
"And the…uh, happy tomato decided to…" Ed paused, unsure of what to say next. What would tomatoes decide to do when they were celebrating not being eaten, anyway?
"To go dancing," Robyn interjected quickly, earning a laugh from Ben, who was now sitting beside her instead of Ed.
"What?" Ed said, shaking his head as he tried to figure out what was going on. How could one story turn into something so crazy so quickly? "What the hell have you been snorting, Robyn?" he demanded, and was pleased to see her just barely hold on to her calm exterior.
"Nothing," she answered simply. "And at the dance, the tomato met a beautiful sprig of parsley," she said, jumping right back into the story.
"A wha-? Ed repeated, feeling like he had to be on some crazy show or something. Who in their right mind would just sit around telling crazy stories about dancing tomatoes and parsley? "Do I have to keep this up?" he asked, and Robyn just nodded with a grin.
"Alright, fine," Ed said with a heavy sigh, but also realizing that he was partly enjoying the story, crazy as it was. "But the tomato couldn't talk to the parsley because he was too shy," Ed said, sure he had finally given a satisfactory response.
"But I said he already met her," Robyn protested quickly. "Doesn't that count as talking?"
"What?" Ed said, looking over at her, and then sighed and held a hand to his forehead. "I don't care."
"I'm sure the tomato cares," Robyn said stubbornly as she crossed her arms across her chest. Ed scowled and looked back up at her.
"Well, I don't care what the tomato cares about," he retorted quickly, and then ran over his words in his head for a minute before deciding that it actually did make sense, so he was alright.
"Well, I care about the tomato," Robyn said back coolly, and Ed felt his fists clench instinctively. He wasn't truly that mad at Robyn and what she was just doing, he just didn't want to hear anymore about the tomato that he hadn't even wanted to hear about in the first place.
It didn't have anything to do with the fact that he couldn't seem to win with Robyn and this strange story competition, no.
"Then go marry the fucking tomato!" Ed snapped at her, and Robyn nearly laughed before turning to Ben.
"Go slap Ed and the wrists," she told Ben, who grinned and nodded quickly. "He should know better than to say words like that around you." Ed just scowled and stuck his tongue out at Robyn.
"Oh yeah, real mature one you are, Ed," she laughed, and Ed's frown deepened.
"I don't care," he muttered just as Ben scurried over and gave Ed a good whack across the wrists, leading to more cursing from Ed, and more slapping from Ben on the orders of Robyn.
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Tada! I did it! Be proud of me. :D And yes, I know, the tomato story is rather… random, to say the least, but I just had to put that in there after it popped into my head, haha. I was cracking up at the thought of it, so I hope you guys enjoyed it as well. Now I still have inspiration for this chapter, so the updates will continue to come! Wahoo!
