A/N: Huge thanks for your continued support on this story. Seeing all the reviews and alerts really make me happy :o) This chapter was a struggle to write, but I am very satisfied with the outcome. While it is hopeful in terms of McSwarek, it also touches on what happened to Andy during the taskforce - at least in my version ;o)

Hope you enjoy, and please let me know what you think ...


[IV]

"Home, sweet home," Andy announces opening the door to her condo. Sam remains standing in the doorway, when she walks to the coffee table, throwing her key chain on it before turning around to look at him. "Aren't you coming in?" she asks frowning at his obvious discomfort.

"Sure," Sam nods his head shutting the door behind him.

"A beer?" Andy asks walking into the kitchen needing to occupy herself with a task.

"A beer would be good," Sam chimes in watching as she removes his jacket from her shoulders, before opening the fridge and pulling out two beers. He had offered it to her once they'd gotten out of the silver truck.

Handing an ice-cold beer to his outstretched hand, they both take a sip of the beverage before walking to the couch to sit down.

"How's the Detective shield working out for you?" Andy asks trying to ease the obvious tension that's been existing between them ever since her return from the taskforce.

"It's different, but good," he tells her. "Traci's a good partner," Sam starts, but noticing her casting her eyes downwards at the comment and biting her lower lip adds, "but nothing like my last one though," he smirks at her when she lifts her head.

"Yeah?" Andy asks arching an eyebrow with a careful smile hovering on her lips.

"Most definitely," he nods his head before taking a tentative sip of beer.

"Good to know," she muses playing with the label on her beer bottle, a clear sign that she's anxious. They're standing on a precipice, one wrong move and they'll stumble to the ground. They're both aware of that, but Andy is per usual overthinking things and jumping to the worst-case scenarios.

Sam is unsure on what to do, because the last time he attempted to sway her with humor following a serious conversation, she'd bolted.


"Andy, what I said to you…"

"It's okay, heat of the moment, I get it."

"No, I meant it. It's true. There are two-hundred-and-six bones in the human body; I saw it on 'Grey's Anatomy'."

"I'm going home."

"C'mon, McNally!"


"You still do this?" Sam asks eying the book on the coffee table, attempting to lighten the mood. "'Yoga for beginners' – seriously?" he asks arching an eyebrow.

"Gotta keep in shape, Swarek," Andy giggles, as Sam picks up the book and begins to thumb through it. "What's up with the sudden interest in yoga? It sure didn't interest you before," she asks frowning.

"I seem to remember things differently, McNally," he reminds her lifting his eyes from the book to gaze into her eyes mischievously.


It had been a few weeks after their reunion; Sam had spent the past couple of nights at Andy's, when he woke up to an empty bed. He rubbed his eyes, searching the bedroom for any signs of where she had disappeared off to. The alarm clock read 7:00 am on a holy Sunday, and they had the entire day off.

'What the hell was she doing up?' Sam wondered, as he sat up on the edge of the bed, to put on the discarded boxers that laid at his feet. They had stumbled through the apartment last night, scattering their clothes around before collapsing on top of each other in bed.

He found her in the living room, sitting cross-legged on the wooden floor, facing a row of white, scented candles, while soft music played on her iPod. She was wearing a pair of yellow boy shorts, a white tank top and her hair was arranged in a messy bun on the top of her head. The palms of her hands were pressed together, her eyes were closed and she seemed to be in deep concentration.

Sam stood in the doorway watching her; he scratched his bare chest before venturing further into the room. He couldn't contain the smirk appearing on his lips, as he walked silently towards her, licking his lips, as he carefully slid down to the floor behind her.

"What are you doing?" Andy asked with her eyes still closed, a small smile hovering on her lips.

"Yoga, it would seem," Sam quipped, now sitting right behind her, his legs on the outside of hers, butterflying her.

"A funny from you at this hour, Swarek, that's a first," she giggled knowing that he was anything but a morning person.

"And whose fault is that, McNally?" he asked pressing the palms of his hands against Andy's.

His chest hairs against her back, his warm breath against her neck, and the mere fact that he was so near was close to doing her in. "You're distracting me, Swarek," she whined attempting to keep her body balanced.

"Sorry," Sam said, but Andy knew he was anything but sorry. His teeth nipped at her ear lobe making her breath hitch in his throat.

"No, you're not," she shot back sighing in the back of her throat.

"You're right, I'm not," Sam teased before tracing the shell of her ear with his tongue.

"I don't think this is what the Hindu's had in mind when inventing yoga," Andy said playfully, as she felt him sliding his hands down her arms until they finally rested around her waist pressing her entire body backwards, feeling his growing erection against her backside.

"Your point being, McNally?" he asked, as she turned around in his arms. Placing her hands, flat on his chest, she pushed at his chest with them making him lie down on his back.

"Just sayin'," Andy grinned down at him before slanting her lips against his. Sam framed her face with his hands, as she coaxed him to open his mouth thrusting her tongue into his mouth when he allowed her entrance.


"Whatever you say, Swarek," Andy smiles weakly at him before getting off the couch, needing there to be some space between them after that walk down memory lane.

"What is it?" he asks placing his beer bottle on the coffee table before standing up. "Andy?" Sam says her name in a questioning manner causing her to turn around to look at him.

"What are we even doing, Sam?" she asks exasperatedly.

"We're talking," he offers up with a smile. He knows what she's doing, they have a lot of baggage to work through, and she has undoubtedly brought some baggage home from the taskforce as well. "Listen," he starts inching closer to her. "I'm not deluding myself here, all right, Andy? I know it won't be a quick fix, but I want this, us to work – do you?"

"Of course I do!" Andy tells him in a defensive tone of voice. "A lot has changed, we have changed."

"Yes, we have, but I think it's for the better. I'm not working the streets anymore, Andy."

"I know…" she tells him drawling out the sentence as if she's not entirely sure what he's getting at.

"What I'm getting at is that before, we were partners on the street, and I let my personal feelings get in the way of the professional job we had to do…" he stops suddenly when the look in Andy's eyes tells him that she's on the verge of tears.

"Okay, you know what?!" she snaps pointing a finger at him. "If this is your way of, once again, telling me that what happened to Jerry was my fault, then…" Andy starts to walk away from him, but he catches her arm keeping her in place.

"It's not!" Sam claims with finality in his voice. "That…I wasn't thinking when I…I didn't…," Sam stammers his way through an endless series of ways to apologize before finally saying, "it wasn't your fault that Jerry died."

"Then why did you…?" Andy asks flailing her hands around to emphasize the frustration she's feeling.

"Hey!" Sam wraps his arms around her waist pulling her against his strong body. She remains rigid, trying to familiarize herself to the feeling of his body against hers. She rests her head in the crook, where his neck meets his throat, as he slides one hand up to the nape of her neck, holding her steady, as he hears her breathing slowing down. "What happened to Jerry was a tragedy, an unspeakable tragedy. I handled it badly, beyond badly," he speaks softly against her ear, telling her what he has wanted to tell her for the longest time.

"Sam…," Andy feels the need for some distance, but can't ignore the fact that being in his arms again is everything she's longed for, for the past six months.

"Losing Jerry, losing you, it put all my shit in perspective. You have no idea how much it tore at me to leave you in that parking lot, but I thought I had no choice but to leave. To save you from all the darkness that surrounds me," Sam speaks straight from the heart making Andy gulp.

'Jesus Chris', Andy thinks so herself closing her eyes. He's opening up to her, telling her all the things she spent months obsessing over when they were broken up, before she left for the taskforce.

Sam's fingers make contact with her chin, and he tilts it making her misty brown pools look into his. "I love you," he whispers pressing his forehead against hers closing his eyes.

"I love you too," Andy moves her hands up his arms feeling his biceps through the black tee shirt he's wearing. She has missed these arms, the way he'd lifted her up in his arms in the cover apartment, holding her at night, the few times he had slipped his fingers through her belt loops at work and yanked her against his hardened body. She loved Sam's arms; always had, always would.

"How about smoothies tomorrow morning before work?" he suddenly asks making Andy snort out loud. Not exactly what she had been expecting him to say next. She leans back, looking into his eyes with twinkling eyes.

"Smoothies?" Andy asks arching an eyebrow.

"What?" Sam asks shrugging his shoulders. "It's healthy, and a great supplement," he argues with a smirk.

"True," she nods her head bemused. "Sure, smoothies would be good."

"Then it's a date," he smiles at her before pressing his soft lips against her forehead.

On the short walk to the front door, they hold hands. His grip on her hand is tight, as if he doesn't want to let her go. The thought brings a smile to Andy's lips.

"What is it?" he asks having picked up his leather jacket on the way to the door, getting into it before opening the door.

"Nothing," she shrugs her shoulders.

Taking it slow is the way to go. They had just jumped into things last time, and the end result had been disastrous. They smile awkwardly at each other, as they're supposed to say goodnight at the door.

"I'll pick you up in the morning before shift," Sam tells her kissing her on the cheek. When he's about to pull back, she reaches her hands out, grabbing his face and pressing their mouths together. Andy curls her arms around his neck, bringing him in close as Sam wraps his arms around her waist molding their bodies together.

Their bodies react to each other in the darkened doorway as if it's the first time they've kissed, but in a way it is. When they come up for air, Sam presses his forehead against hers trying to catch his breath, and Andy attempts to do the same.

"Tomorrow?" Andy asks breathing heavily closing her eyes.

"Tomorrow," Sam says nodding his head.


An hour after Sam has left; Andy is wearing her flannel pajama pants and a black singlet, standing in her kitchen contemplating what to do next. Sleep has been a serious problem ever since coming back from the taskforce. She can lie down on the bed; no problem, but actually closing her eyes and relaxing is another story.

She hasn't been eating right either, and she's drinking coffee and energy drinks respectively to show off her 'I'm fine' façade to the rest of the world. Gail had commented the bags underneath her eyes, the other day in parade, whispering, 'you'll never land Swarek, if you don't fix your baggies. Meet me after shift in the locker room.' Gail's quick fix had been the remainder of a bottle of sleeping pills, she had been prescribed after having been kidnapped, and she'd had trouble sleeping. Andy isn't much for taking pills, but at this point she's dead tired, and if a small white pill can help her rest, she'll take all the help she can get.

Andy had spoken to the department's shrink per protocol, but what she had planned on saying, had been far from had actually been said. Andy had started off with a lot of 'I'm fine's' as well as profusely telling the therapist in her typical McNally manner that all that mattered to her was getting back on the job. Only problem had been that the therapist hadn't bought her act at all.


"So, Andy, what brings you here?" Dr. Shute asked crossing her perfectly shaped legs, resting a writing pad in her lap, while holding a pen between two perfectly manicured fingers.

"You tell me," Andy shrugged non-committedly.

Doctor Shute was used to the brush off. She had a long record of helping police officers – and to say ninety percent of them had been reluctant to open up to her, would be putting it mildly. Elizabeth Shute had the nagging feeling that Andy McNally would belong in those ninety percent.

"You must know why you're here," the therapist said shifting in her seat.

"I've been on a taskforce, I did my job and I came back when it was done, end of story," Andy said with an unwavering gaze.

"What happened on the taskforce?" Dr. Shute asked attempting to prod at her.

"That's classified information!" Andy exclaimed startling the therapist. "I'm sorry," she apologized holding up a hand. "It just isn't a time of my life I'm proud of."

"Why is that, you think?" Elizabeth Shute had asked leaning forward in her chair.

Andy took a deep breath, figuring she might as well tell her why. "A lot happened right before Luke told me to make the decision whether or not to go."

"This would be Luke Callaghan, your ex-fiancé?" the therapist asked double- checking her notes.

"Yes," Andy affirmed with a nod of the head. "Anyway, when I left, I left to prove something, not only to myself, but to everyone else too."

"Why did you think you had something to prove?" the doctor tapped into the very Achilles heel that had been bothering Andy for the past six months.

"I've made a lot of mistakes, and this was my chance to prove I wasn't that girl anymore," Andy replied.

"What girl?" Elizabeth Shute asked with a finely plucked eyebrow arched.

"That girl; the one, who ruined an undercover operation on her first day on the job, who almost got her…" she stopped suddenly at the mention of Sam, and what he indeed was to her. "…T.O. killed when he was in deep cover, and I just…I don't want to go down the same path as my mom did. To give up who I am for a guy, a guy that may not always be there."

"Is that how you see Sam?" she asked noticing how Andy's entire body tensed up by the mere mention of the name. "That is who the guy you're referring to is, right?"

"This doesn't have anything to do with Sam!" Andy exclaimed defensively, but the good doctor knew that she had hit the nail on its head.

"I beg to differ," she replied.

"I need to work," Andy all but pleaded. Knowing that her future fate was lying in this woman's hands was anything but ideal. She couldn't face staying home for the foreseeable future, while this therapist or whatever tried to dig into the recesses of her mind.

"I know you do," Elizabeth Shute said scribbling down on the pad in her lap. "Which is why I'm letting you return to work."

"You are?" Andy asked frowning.

"Yes," the therapist agreed. "But, on one condition," she added.

"Figures," Andy scoffed rolling her eyes heavenly. "What is it?"

"You keep coming in for weekly consultations. I believe it would be a mistake to keep you from doing your job, but I see some underlining issues that need to be dealt with. So, if you do your part in our consultations, I'll keep you on the job."

Andy didn't know what to do with this. She wanted to get back to her job and her friends; yes, but having this woman delve into her mind wasn't something she was looking forward to. But figuring it was better than nothing, she nodded her head in agreement sharing a weak smile with Dr. Shute.


She had per protocol taken a few days off before getting her feet wet again at 15 Division. Even then, Frank had put her on desk duty, the first couple of days. She had tried not to take it personally with Nick going on patrol his first day back, but it was difficult not to.

Her cell suddenly rings pulling her from her dire thoughts. Picking up the phone, Traci's beaming face is smiling back at her on the screen, and Andy can't contain the smile on her own face by the prospect of talking to her best friend.

"Spill!" is the first word coming from the other line, as Andy jumps onto the kitchen counter, dangling her long legs from her high perch.

"Top of the evening to you too, Trace," she quips holding the cell between her ear and shoulder, while reaching out for an energy drink sitting on the counter.

"Don't give me that, McNally!" Traci admonishes her. "He drove you home, right?" she quizzes her. Traci has from the get-go been pro-Swarek, even when Andy had been engaged to Luke; Traci had been anything but supportive.

"Yes, he did…" Andy sighs jumping off the counter and walking to the couch to sit cross-legged on it.

"Come on, McNally!" Traci exclaims exasperatedly. "Details," she adds needing something to tie her over with, since her romantic life or the lack thereof is pretty much non-existing these days. Life after Jerry has been anything but easy, but she and Leo are slowly making their way back to sanity. It helps having her best friend back home where she belongs.

"All right," Andy concedes. "He walked me up, we talked, really talked, and he said good night."

"That's it?!" Traci squeaks.

"Pretty much," Andy shrugs. "We're having smoothies at the park tomorrow morning before shift. So, I guess it's a start."

"He's been miserable without you, Andy," she tells her. "Just give him a shot, okay? That's all I'm saying."

"I am, Trace. Smoothies, remember?" Andy tells her combing the tangles in her hair out with her fingers.

"All right, McNally, sleep tight," Traci tells her, bidding her goodnight.

"Night, Trace."


After having downed a sleeping pill with a glass of Pinot Noir, Andy is finally lying flat on her back in bed, sleeping. But it isn't a relaxing slumber, it's filled with memories. Dark memories from the last hour of her and Nick's undercover detail had as usual made its way into her subconscious.


Their taskforce hadn't had a fairytale ending. Andy had returned to the warehouse from 15 Division around closing time with the disguise of a rookie having forgotten to Mirandize her. One of the girls in the warehouse had told her, that 'the boss' needed to talk to her, but she had felt something in her gut, something that told her that whatever was waiting for her behind the office door was anything but good.

Opening the door, she had come face to face with a bludgeoned Nick, tied to a chair, while 'the boss' stood in front of him, his cold eyes fixed on Andy's shocked face.

"It'll be your turn in a minute, Sweetheart," he spat at her, while one of his goons had come up from behind grabbing her before towing her to a chair next to Nick and tying her up as well. "We'll give you two a minute to say goodbye," he sneered at them before he and his number one left the office.

"What happened?" Andy whispered softly at Nick, who was beginning to come around after having been used as a punching bag for the past hour.

"Dunno, but they know," he got out in between struggled breaths of air.

"Know what?" Andy asked fearfully.

"Who we are," Nick coughed spitting out a chunk of blood, "they know we're undercover cops."

"How?" she whispered furiously, but it was too late. The two men re-entered the room, and the one, who had tied Andy up walked right back to her.

"I wanna have some fun with this one first," he laughed bitterly touching her chin with his calloused fingers. Andy threw her head back by the very feeling of his hands on her.

"Have fun," the boss sneered throwing another punch to Nick's already bloodied face.

"What do you say, gorgeous? Ready to feel what a real man feels like?" he winked at her untying her bonds before grabbing her by the arms, and yanking her in close.

"Leave her alone!" Nick growled, as Andy was towed towards the door.

"You have anything to say, wonder boy?" the boss asked holding a switchblade to Nick's jugular, as Andy felt her captor fondling her breasts. She felt his growing erection against her backside sharing one final, despondent stare with Nick as two precise shots rang through the air hitting their captors square on the forehead. Everything went still, as their two bodies hit the floor and Andy and Nick knew they were saved by their own.


Andy wakes up with a start, drenched in sweat, her heart beating rapidly.