A/N: hi guys, firstly, i'm not all that sure when i'll be able to post another chapter due to campus but no worries my darlings, i will be back really soon!
Also if you need anything or have any requests or questions, you're more than welcome to PM me, i'll reply ASAP.
Another thing, i try really hard to make my chapters a good length so forgive me if they're too short at times, i am after all a new writer here. i hope this one is a good start on the length though!
And last but not least, THANK YOU to everyone who's put this story on alert and all those of you who review. it means the world to me to read your kind words so please continue to review! x
Beta: Onyx Thanatos Theodore Lerins. All remaining mistakes are mine.
Late on Christmas evening, found Severus among the beauty of the clearing in Diagon Alley. He wasn't very sure why he was even in Diagon Alley at this time when all of the shops had closed earlier in the day. All that ran through his mind was how happy and peaceful Harry looked when he'd found him here last night. Yes Harry, not Potter anymore and on a level, it felt intimate that Severus was allowed to call him by his given name, almost as if Severus was a friend but no, he had to stop right there. He was no more than a former professor and therefore a shoulder to cry on.
He did remember that Harry had said no one else knows, so that had to mean that Harry thought something more of him but once again he brushed away the thought. He looked at his golden pocket watch, a cherished gift from his mother, and decided that it was time to go home. He could have apparated from where he was currently standing but decided that it wouldn't hurt to walk past the bookstore once last time tonight.
xxx
Harry walked through the street towards his shop, grateful that he hadn't had those few extra drinks. He was already a little light headed and it wasn't even that late yet. His day with the Weasleys had been as eventful as every Christmas with them was. With Molly's cooking and George's pranks, there was never a dull moment. Molly still scolded him though for his weight, which according to her wasn't what a young man of his age should look like. She argued that he was way to skinny but Harry was actually happy with his body, yeah sure, he didn't have well defined muscles and abs of steel but he was well toned and definitely not all skin and bone.
Harry had always just went along though as he knew that Fred's death had caused Molly to quickly grasp onto another whom she'd considered a son and there was no one more suitable than Harry. Of course, he could never replace Fred but if he let Molly fret over him, he guessed she wouldn't really beat herself up over her loss. He was glad though that George had decided to revel in the happy times that he'd had with Fred. He'd even recruited Seamus to help out at the shop; his knack for blowing things up came in handy with some of the pranks.
His mind drifted over to Ginny suddenly, she'd earlier introduced the family to her new boyfriend, none other than Dean Thomas. Harry was happy that she'd moved on but of course it was a little too easy in his mind and he was proved correct when throughout the afternoon, Ginny kept making subtle hints about their previous relationship, obviously trying to guilt Harry into Merlin knows what.
Harry had kicked a stone he'd seen on the ground when he heard a grunt, it was so soft though that if he hadn't been listening, he wouldn't have heard it. And who else would it be than Severus Snape, "Pro- Severus! What are you doing out here?"
Severus mentally kicked himself for deciding on this walk. He did not need to see Harry of all people right now when his mind was still in overdrive about the man, or wasn't that exactly why he walked this way? "I was heading home Harry." He saw that Harry expected more so he said, "From the clearing. You were right; it is a good place to think."
Harry grinned up at his former professor, "Wow, so you've finally admitted that I'm right about something then, have you?"
Severus aimed a glare at Harry without the usual harshness, "And whatever are you doing wondering the streets on Christmas day? Haven't you heard that no one should be alone at Christmas or have your loved ones already had enough of you?"
Severus didn't understand the reason why Harry's smile seemed to grow impossibly wider until he said, "Well I've been with the Weasleys since morning so it was a good time to return and besides Severus, you're right, no one should ever be alone at Christmas. Why don't you come inside?"
Harry wasn't sure where the offer came from, but when Severus had mentioned being alone, Harry couldn't help but realize that Severus had no one. He had no known relatives and the only people he'd once called family lived in isolation away from busy lifestyle of Wizarding Britain. The Malfoy's had moved away after the war, they'd been cleared of all charges after a thorough investigation and chosen to sell the manor and go spend their time as a family elsewhere. So Harry knew that this was probably the only decent thing he could do for the man right now.
Severus knew that he shouldn't but how could he refuse a chance to get even a little enjoyment out of this day. If anyone had told Severus that he'd one day consider Harry Potter as good company he'd probably have hexed them into their next life but today he somehow felt that there's no one else he'd rather spend his day with than Harry. He nodded and said, "Thank you that would be nice."
Harry smiled and proceeded to walk towards his shop, the walk was somewhat similar to last night's, it was just as silent but not at all uncomfortable. Harry realized that Severus Snape was just as nice as any other bloke if not more understanding, more accepting, obviously a bit more intimidating but definitely more intriguing. Harry decided that he wouldn't mind it at all to get to know the man, in fact, he'd definitely try, what was that next to the fact that he'd previously told the man one of his most well kept secrets.
They reached the bookstore and once they'd gotten inside and Harry had locked up again, they silently climbed the stairs. Severus couldn't figure out exactly what was going through Harry's mind but he could see that he was in deep thought all through their walk. It didn't look like his thoughts disturbed him though since he'd see an occasional smile grace Harry's delicate features. Even now as they walked into Harry's sitting area, Severus could tell that he was contemplating something so he just left Harry to it. It was him after all who intruded on the man's evening. He silently perched himself on the couch as he watched Harry walk to the cabinet at the corner of the room and take out a bottle of fire whiskey and two glasses.
"I hope you don't mind, its just that I've been tempted to have another glass tonight but the walk home would have been a bit too eventful, rather in my own home then but if you'd rather have something else-" Harry was cut off by Severus, "No fire whiskey is fine." Severus added a little smile just for Harry's sake.
Harry proceeded to ask Severus about the others like those at the school and anyone he may have maintained contact with. Somewhere through their conversation, Severus realized that tonight Harry didn't want to talk about himself and Severus happily obliged not wanting to ruin the light mood that had been set. Severus told him how he still delivered potions to the infirmary at Hogwarts when it was requested of him which was how he kept in the know of the goings on at the school.
Severus could have listened to Harry's laugh for an eternity when he mentioned Neville's hardships in disciplining students during herbology; it left him satisfied in knowing that he was somehow responsible for the look of utter happiness on Harry's face at the moment. As Severus told Harry of his other dependents on his potions and his family estate which he now called home, none of them realized that they'd polished off almost half of the once full bottle nor that sometime that evening Harry had moved closer to Severus to a point where their knees touched.
When Harry had recovered from yet another fit of laughter, he turned to his right and then only did utterly register to him that his face was indeed very close to Severus' who was now looking down at him. It was then for some unknown reason that Harry had decided to stand up extremely fast which resulted in his surroundings spinning around him. Severus also stood, only this time he was laughing; a deep, mesmerizing sound that pleased Harry to no end.
Severus placed his hands on Harry's shoulders to steady the swaying young man in front of him. The contact was enough to ignite a fire in each of them and before he knew it, Severus' hands were travelling from Harry's shoulders to his neck and around to his nape. Severus leaned down to capture sweet, sweet lips between his own when Harry turned and all he managed to do was kiss Harry's ear. He withdrew quickly, horrified, embarrassed and furious all at the same time but his anger was directed at a totally different person when he heard the youngest Weasley boys' voice boom through the room, "Harry, mate let me in. You left your wand at our place and I know I sound like mum but what were you even thinking taking that risk? Anyway mate its freezing out here so get on it!"
Severus stared at the Jack Russell terrier patronus in the living area. Harry turned to look at him before bolting to the stairs. Severus followed at a calmer pace and I when he reached both young men, he'd heard Harry trying to explain what caused him to leave his wand behind, "One too many drinks mate. Just forgot it like that."
Ron's attention though, was now fully focused on the man standing beside Harry, "What the f- uhm, Professor." said Ron as he quickly backtracked, "Uhm Harry, can I speak to you in private for a moment?"
Severus quickly interjected before Harry could answer, "No need, I was just leaving." he sneered, "Weasley. Harry." he nodded to each of them before he disappeared in one swift stride out of the shop.
"Harry! Did the old git just call you Harry?" asked Ron absolutely flabbergasted.
"Ron, Severus and I met a few days back and we've just been spending some time with each other since then." Only after he said it, did Harry realize how absolutely wrong that would have sounded to Ron's ears. So he added, "He ordered this book, you know."
Ron just blinked and said, "Of course he did Harry. I'm not even going to ask why you're calling him 'Severus'." Ron spat the name out in disgust, "Look I'm just going to go now. Mum's probably waiting; she was really worried about you mate. We all were, I mean there's no V-V-Voldemort anymore but that doesn't mean you can just go walking around without a wand Harry."
"Ron I already told you-"
"Yeah yeah mate, too much to drink and all that. Anyway, I'll see you soon 'kay." with that Ron waved to Harry and apparated back home.
xxx
Harry hadn't seen Severus for the next few days and he'd only realized how much he wanted to see the man when he found himself racing to the front of the shop every time the bell at the door sounded, and all times afterwards. He had a terrible feeling that Severus was mad about their almost kiss on Christmas day. Harry himself had been extremely mad at himself for turning at that precise moment! But how could he not when he'd heard Ron's voice almost as if his friend had been standing right there beside him and Severus.
He'd spent his night's trying to imagine what those lips would feel like against his. Would they be surprisingly soft and delicate or would they be slightly chapped and rough? Would Severus take every moment to taste him or would he thoroughly ravish Harry's mouth? Harry was afraid that the man would start to close himself away from him again afterwards, that's if he even saw him again. They'd progressed so much since school; there wasn't any of the animosity and hatred between them, instead he saw that Severus wasn't the big, bad and evil potions master he'd thought him to be and Severus learned that Harry wasn't always strong and brave the way the world made him out to be.
Together they were two ordinary people who saw and understood those little details that know one else even cared to notice. Harry was actually surprised by his thoughts, he'd never given the idea that he might be attracted to men any thought, least of all Severus Snape, but now he really didn't mind it all, in fact he'd be more than happy to get to know the man in that way but what were his chances now that he'd blew his opportunity.
xxx
Severus was a wreck; he hadn't slept a full night since his almost kiss with Harry Bloody Potter. What was he even thinking, trying to kiss the man like that; taking advantage of an intoxicated person almost 20 years younger than him? He didn't even know if Harry was gay to begin with. He was of course aware that he was gay ever since his school days and had many meaningless encounters with men in the past but Harry was so young and of course he had been dating girls since his school days so what were his chances?
He suddenly took note of the date, it was December the 30th, the day he was meant to collect his book from the bookstore. He hadn't been to Diagon Alley the entire week in fear of bumping into Harry. He couldn't face the disgust he was sure he'd see in Harry's eyes at the reminder of what had almost happened, he didn't warn to see it. But he desperately needed that book to start on his potions and Harry was the only person who could lay his hands on it. He decided that he'd have to go anyway; he couldn't walk away from Harry. Not when he'd trusted him with his most prized secret and opened up to him as well.
Severus decided that he would simply have to control himself. He had a friendship, at least that's what he referred to it as, with Harry that he needed to nurture and he wasn't about to let his personal feelings get in the way of something so wonderful. With that, Severus apparated to Diagon Alley.
xxx
Harry had received Severus' book earlier that morning and he felt a pang of guilt shoot through him at the thought of the man. He knew Severus wouldn't come but he'd still kept the book on one front counter as a symbol of that little hope in side of him. He was just making his way to the back room to get some coffee when he heard the bell at the front door. His heart started to race and found himself short of breath, he somehow was sure that this was the customer he'd been waiting for in the past few days.
And man was he right, Severus Snape in the flesh stood at the door looking around cautiously until he found Harry. They locked eyes and stood still for a moment until Harry caught himself and spoke up, "Severus! I'm so glad you came. Uhm I mean for the book that is but also because I wanted to apologize for the other night. I really-" Severus cut in, "Stop Harry, I'm the one who should be apologizing. We were both under the influence and found ourselves in a compromising situation. It's perfectly alright-"
He was silenced by Harry who burst out in laughter, "Sorry Severus, it's just that we look utterly ridiculous standing here trying to justify something that didn't even happen."
Severus surprised him by chuckling, a sound that had Harry once more intrigued by this man, "Perfectly alright Harry but I really am sorry." He held out his hand, "Friends?"
Harry closed the distance and grasped his hand, "Friends." he said with a winning smile.
They stayed like that for a few more seconds just staring into each others eyes before Harry remembered about the book and rushed to hand it to Severus. Severus accepted it with the utmost appreciation and handed Harry the necessary galleons.
"I was actually going to get some coffee, would you like some?" asked Harry hopefully.
Severus nodded with a smile and Harry gestured for him to wait at the seating area in the back of the shop. When Harry arrived with the mugs moments later, he noticed that Severus was already reading his book and smiled at the look if concentration on the man's face. Severus looked up at that moment, "Something amusing Mr Potter?"
"Just how much you appreciate a book, reminds me a bit of myself when I'm faced with a rather lovely romance novel."
Severus nodded at that but then seemed to remember something. He kept his book aside and asked, "Harry, have your friends really noticed nothing about your missing magic? I would have thought that Granger at least would have figured something out by now."
"You've finally admitted that she isn't insufferable then have you?"
"I haven't admitted to anything Mr Potter, just that she is a know it all." he added a smirk for extra effect but it just made Harry smile even more.
"Well Sir," said Harry with a smirk that could challenge Severus', "it's extremely difficult keeping it from them, but as I've said, they still think I'm going through some phase of depression. Also, Hermione and Ron are getting married soon so the wedding keeps the Weasleys busy so they don't ask too many questions and I'm grateful for that but there are moments where I slip up, like when the guys want to play a game of quidditch and I have to come up with excuses or moments like when I leave my wand just lying around."
Severus went into full lecture mode at that, "Harry, you need to be more careful. Your wand right now may just be a useless stick that you have to carry around but imagine the scandal if it ever got out that you've lost your magic. The ministry would be all over you not to mention that wretched woman, Skeeter, who'd jump at the opportunity to make accusations. I cannot understand how none of your friends know, perhaps it's the fact that you hardly interact with anyone long enough for them to notice that something's off these days. But Harry, you need to be more careful!"
Harry wanted to respond with a teasing comment about how it sounded like Severus cared but all he could say was, "You noticed. The very first day actually." he realized that his voice carried more emotion than ever. He looked up at Severus and for a moment he felt the same pull he'd felt on Christmas night but he shook it off and chose to smile at the man instead, who not so surprisingly returned his smile with an even warmer one of his own.
Harry realized with a start that Severus only remained around for the purpose of the book and he probably wouldn't see him afterwards. It was almost as if the man read his mind because Severus said, "What are you doing tomorrow evening Harry?"
Harry couldn't fight off the grin as he answered, "Sounds like you have something planned then?"
Severus couldn't be sure whether Harry had indeed agreed to accompany him so he asked, "You'll come with me to see the fireworks then? I've always wanted to go but I could never find the time, however if you're just as keen, I'm sure I could clear my schedule." Severus lied about the last part. The only reason he never went was because he knew he'd be the only loner among all of the couple's and that was enough to put him off it.
Severus' lie however had the necessary effect on Harry who was so pleased that Severus would make time just for him, "I'd love to Severus, where were you thinking of?"
"Muggle London." came the reply, "There's just something about the way muggles create their own magic."
Harry didn't even mind the fact that he was the closest thing to a muggle at the moment. He was already fantasizing about what the night would be like with Severus.
Severus stood and picked up his book, "I must get going but I will pick you up at 8 pm tomorrow, maybe we could get some dinner beforehand." Severus tried and failed to not make it sound like a date but Harry didn't seem to mind in the least as he got up and walked towards Severus, startling him with an awkward one armed hug which Severus returned as best as he could before Harry looked up and said, "Thank you Severus, no ones ever done this much for me."
Severus could only stare at Harry as he realized that it probably wasn't the fact that they were going out the following evening but something far more deeper that pleased Harry to no end and then and there, Severus decided that he would make this one of the best night's of Harry's life just so that he could see that look again; directed towards him with almost affection; almost, thought Severus.
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