Dirty Secrets


Sitting in her Impala, June made a mental note to have Dean do a check-over on her before her thoughts drifted back to the realization that no matter how hard she tried, she would never fit in. The girls she went out with on these nights, the ones she talked to at college… June called them her friends because she didn't know what else they'd be. Well, she was tempted to label them 'pastimes', but she somehow didn't believe that to be ethically correct.

Even after a year of living here, of going to college and attempting to put together a normal life, June still failed.

These so-called friends bored her; June couldn't assimilate because deep down she'd always be the freak, the outsider. She couldn't talk to those people, couldn't build true connections.

She was fixated on Sam; that was it. Her world, the part of it that mattered, anyways, revolved around him. Everything else was secondary.

"Well, there goes a healthy, balanced social life." June remarked to herself dryly. "And having to explain every second week where my boyfriend's off to again doesn't exactly improve my standing in the normal world, either," June observed as she took a left turn.

Was it maybe just impossible squeezing it all in together? Sam's hunting, her monster radar, college, stitching up her boyfriend after a wayward hunt, Sam's wall, June's fragile soul pieces…June wanting a normal life and Sam busting out of it regularly?

"People write books about every crap, about what the perfect length for the lawn is up to how to get a date in five seconds, but not about how to glue two different lifestyles together," She huffed contemptuously. "A little guidance, just for once in my life, is that too much to ask?"

Ferociously, June parked the car one block away from their home and got out. She locked her Impala and then started walking.

Did she even want that normal life? Or was she just telling herself that it was what she wanted?

Her head was hammering from the evening spent under the influence of dim light and deafening music. June massaged her temple in the hope of easing the pressure behind her eyes, but no such luck.

Impatiently, she unlocked the door, tossed her purse into the corner and switched on the lights.

'Uh, bad idea,' She groaned inwardly as the sudden brightness hurt her head. Routinely, June closed and locked the door before raiding the medicine cabinet for some aspirin.

Plopping it into a glass of water she waited for it to dissolve while calling Sam. "I'm home now, safe and sound."

If she wasn't all mistaken, she heard a quiet sigh of relief at the other end. "Good. Do me the favour and don't go out again tonight, okay?"

"Damn, no three a.m. run today? How will I live?"

"June, stop fooling around."

"I will, when you finally tell me what's going on."

"Nothing good, but you don't need to worry. Nothing's going to happen to you."

"Sam, seriously, what is it that you don't tell me?"

"June…"

"No, no, don't 'June' me, I want answers." June's tone softened, "Sweetheart, you know you can tell me anything."

"That was just way too 'chick flick' for comfort."

"Who are you, your brother?"

They chuckled softly in unison. "I don't want to worry you, it might be nothing…"

"Surely doesn't sound like it if you think I might be in danger," June said.

Sam knew she was right, and she had every right to know. "It turned out the case we were on wasn't people abruptly changing personalities for some reason, but rather nasty mass possession."

June sipped at her aspirin on the rocks, waiting for him to go on.

"We exorcised them all, but…"

"Sam. There's barely anything I won't be able to handle."

"You're not the same person anymore, June. You're vulnerable," Sam said carefully.

June took a deep breath, realizing Sam was right. Her soul was definitely back in place, though maybe still lacking a few pieces, it was working. Leaving her more vulnerable than before. "Yeah. I know. But that doesn't change my core, Sam. I ain't a Disney princess. Whatever you're carrying, I'll load on myself, too."

"My fiery wildcat turning tame, who would have guessed that would ever happen." June could hear the affectionate smile in his voice. "One demon talked before he took the elevator downstairs."

"About…?"

"He said…" It was that second of hesitation that had June believe Sam wasn't telling her everything. "…that they hadn't forgotten about you."

"Well. Did you really expect them to?"

"It's different now. You're no longer just a girl with special talents. You're my weak spot, June. They want to get to me, they're going to use you."

"No one's using me but you, baby." June added in a more docile tone: "I'll be fine, Sam. Don't worry about me."

"I always worry about you." Sam said curtly.

"I know. You don't think I didn't find the Enochian sigils under the bed?"

"Guilty as charged."

"I liked the protection sign on the tags of my clothes, by the way. How long did it take you drawing that one on every piece of clothing I own?"

"Long enough," Sam chuckled, "You need to cut down your shopping, June, seriously."

"Nobody asked you going through my wardrobe."

"Not like I haven't seen it all before."

"Crossing over to phone sex, kinky."

"Not tonight, babe."

"You didn't just seriously indicate that you're not generally disinclined."

"See you tomorrow, love."

"No, Sam, don't you dare hang up on me now! Sam, I'm serious, I want to know-"

"Bye, June."

"Holy crap, you totally want to have phone sex!"

"I didn't - no, I'm so not going to discuss this with you now."

June almost dropped the phone in shock – pleasant shock, but still. A wicked smile lit up her face. "You know, we could skip the phone level and cross right over to webcam-"

"June. Would it shut you up when I told you Dean's right beside me?"

"Geez, buzz kill. Fine. But you got something to make up for when you come home tomorrow. And you owe me an honest answer."

"Just be careful, June."

"Only until you're home."

"June…" Sam groaned. Sometimes, this girl was the female version of Dean. "Thanks for filling me up with certain images for the rest of the night."

"I could send some more palpable dirty images to you."

"Seriously, I mean it, June. Stop."

"What? You've been gone for three days, I've got needs. And I happen to be in the mood for some kinkiness right now. And since you haven't hung up on me yet, I take it you're enjoying it."

"I'm not exactly in the right place at the moment, June."

"Fine. I'll just dream of you passionately loving me tonight, then."

"I definitely will once I'm home," Sam growled.

"You better." June hung up with a smile, her headache almost forgotten. Her body was hot all over from the thought of Sam with her… she was damn tempted to pick up the phone and just end what they'd started, but as much as she loved Dean, he was not a party she wanted along for that.

"Winchester's little slut. Well, I gotta say, just hearing you talk, it almost got me all hard. I get why he keeps you for his pleasure."

June jumped up and whirled around, her heart beating loudly in her ears. The man standing there was tall, not quite as tall as Sam, but close; by far not as muscular but still far stronger than her. "Whoever the hell you are-"

"Not like it'd matter, but I'm Ian."

"Fascinating. Though I couldn't care less whose ass I'll kick out of here."

"Oh, princess," He tutted, "I'll admit I love a rough game, but we both know that you stand no chance."

"Against what?" June spat.

"Me."

"Not that I have any intention of giving it to you, but what do you want?"

"A lot of things, cherry pie, but you needn't worry about those. Well, except for the part where you and your lover come in."

June slowly stepped backwards towards the kitchen where the knives were kept. So far, she was standing too close to the intruder, whatever he was, and he would have caught her with two leaps forwards. Hollywood had taught her that keeping the bad guy talking about his evil master plans often was the way out; and it was pretty much the only option she had. "You're not a demon, so what are you?"

"Shouldn't your built-in detector tell you?"

"It ain't telling me anything other than that you're a bigass psychopath."

"Mhm, quite true. See, I'm human. That's why you don't feel anything."

June's heart sank; humans were the worst monsters. No salt, no iron no holy water would repel them, and their motives were even more whacked than demons'. "Human? Then what the hell do you want from me?"

"Ultimately, I want to kick Sam Winchester into the lunatic ward, and the easiest way of breaking that annoying little wall in his mind is by hurting you. Sorry, princess, loss of war." Ian grinned scarily sanely. "But before we come to the unpleasant part of this affair, I'd say we have a little fun first."

June whirled around and darted for the kitchen, but she hadn't even made it to the doorframe when a strong arm wrapped around her in an iron-grip and held her back. "Let go of me, you son of a bitch!"

"I don't think so, slut. Now, why don't you show me if you're worth all the hassle?" He threw her against the wall, crushing his mouth on hers. June wrenched away violently and kicked him much in the manner she had done earlier tonight. She flailed around until she'd fought herself free, and dashed for the kitchen again. Unless she had some leverage – like a weapon – she would never get enough time to call the police. That was the single advantage of having to deal with human monsters: There was a law applying for them.

June was pushed to the floor harshly, before she could go much further towards freedom. "My, my, you sure like a rough play." Ian cursed as he climbed on top of her, pinning her body underneath his. "Then again, what else do you expect from the whore who fucked soulless Sam Winchester?"

June clawed at his face, leaving deep red scratches. "Get off of me, you bastard!"

"Crossing over to SM, wow, you are a wildcat. And you sure look damn hot from this position. I don't suppose he sees you in many other ways, anyways. Though I'm quite certain he sees a lot more of your skin."

June managed to land a punch to his jaw, which set him toppling a bit, but not enough to get him off of her.

"Oh, yeah, baby, you wiggle all you want, that turns me on."

June growled when she felt this asshole's hand on her breasts.

"My, my, you've got a well-stocked rack."

"I'm going to rip your fucking heart out!" June spat.

"Mhm, fucking, that's my cue."

"As if you could even get it up." June seethed. "You're just a pathetic son of a bitch who lets demons talk him into doing their dirty work. That's what you're doing, isn't it? Demons tell you to help them get Sam out of the way, promising you girls, money, success. All the things you never had."

Ian slapped her hard.

"Wow, you're even more pathetic than I thought. Does hitting a girl make you feel powerful? Potent?"

"I'm going to ride you so hard you'll wish you'd be dead already, you whore."

"Please. There ain't anything I haven't done before. And believe me, Sam's a much larger calibre than you are." June glowered at him. "This'll barely even sting, you worthless bastard."

"Shut the hell up, slut, or I'll kill you right away."

"Go ahead. But if you think that'll make Sam break, think again. He's got ways you can't even begin to imagine. He'll bring me back, and when he does, you know who'll be next on his to-kill-list? You. You really want to mess with him?"

Ian grinned manically. "He would have to sell his hell-banged soul to get you back, and even if there's a demon willing to deal with him, he's going to turn into a vegetable one way or another. Losing you will break him. Should have seen him getting all emotional when those demons talked about you as he exorcised them. That really was a delicious sight."

June frowned. Sam and Dean had just exorcised those demons hours ago; how'd this guy know about it? Moreover, how could he have been there just hours ago and be here now when Sam wasn't?

"And I mean, I get it, I would hate losing such a pretty thing as you… though you seem a little too fussy on the long hold."

"How do you know about the demons?" June pressed out as she tried keeping Ian's hand away from her neck.

"What, those your boyfriend just exorcised over in Delaware?"

Delaware? Sam was in Maine.

"I was there," Ian grinned, "Witnessed your dearest resorting to torture to get those poor demons to talk… not the nicest style. Are you into bondage and SM, is that it? You seem like a real rough one…" Ian trailed a hand over her neck, sending June's skin crawling with disgust.

"Well, you ought to know what's coming to you, then," June had enough. She head-butted him hard, sending him toppling backwards. Quickly, June jumped to her feet and kicked him in the guts before punching his jaw, which gave an unpleasant crackling sound as he fell to the floor unconscious.

"One: You don't mess with girls like that, buddy, especially not hunters' girlfriends. Two: You don't mess with girls whose boyfriends have overprotective tendencies and taught them self-defence." June dragged her aching body to the closet where they kept rope. Leisurely, she tied Ian to a chair and poured herself a glass of red wine while waiting for him to wake up.

"Hey, Balthazar," June called out. Seconds later, she felt as if her whole body was dipped in warm water, and the well-known voice sounded through the quiet living room: "June Winchester."

"Hallberg," She corrected lazily.

"Oh, I know you two ain't married, it's just that you are so much like a Winchester at times and are obviously as good as married to one that I figured it wouldn't really matter."

"Well, you figured wrong. I'm the last Hallberg left standing and I ain't giving that up. So, I've got a little present for you."

"In exchange for what?"

"Come on, I said present, not proposal."

"I know you, Hallberg, and you sure as hell didn't call me here to give me a singing greeting card and a fruit basket."

"No, indeed not." June sat down her wine glass. "You can have this guy's soul."

"In exchange for?"

"Getting him out of here, getting rid of him, and keeping quiet about it to Sam and Dean. And Cass."

"I thought soulful-dearest Sam banged your soul back into you, Hallberg. Why suddenly the murderous streaks?"

"Um, let's see, that son of a bitch here wanted to rape, then kill me. That tends to cut down my empathy a little."

"Why not tell your man?"

"He'd tie me down in the demon-proof panic room at Bobby's in fear of anything happening to me if he heard about humans and demons being after me. I like my freedom, thanks." And she didn't want Sam to be inclined to maybe breach the wall for whatever reason; her being attacked might be such a reason. June certainly didn't want to take that risk. She didn't want Sam to worry about her.

"And I suppose you don't want him to know about your cold-heartedness out of fear it would kick a brick out of his wall seeing you fall back into soulless patterns. Or maybe you're scared Sam sees what a hopeless case you are and leave you. Well, Hallberg, I can't say I believe that keeping secrets from him is going to hold him any better, either."

June bit her lip. "Look, I'm offering you a soul and all you have to do is take it and shut up about it. Don't tell me that isn't worth it."

"Oh, don't get me wrong, it certainly is. And I get entertainment on top of it."

"Entertainment?"

"Seeing how this secrecy thing between Sam and you will work out. That's going to be fun to watch."

"Wait, Sam, is he keeping secrets from me, too?"

"I bet he does. Not that I'd know for sure. Generally, it'd be equal rights for all, don't you think?" Balthazar looked at Ian lazily. "Now, Hallberg, a soul has to be freely given, and I don't quite see yet how this guy here presents his on a silver plate."

"Sorry, I only got platinum plates." June smiled sweetly. As if on cue, Ian groaned as he returned to waking state. "Bitch."

"Oh, right, you break into my home and try to kill me, and I'm the bad guy." June laughed hollowly. "I hope the demons let you keep enough brain cells for you to realize that you'll never live long when you return to them empty-handed. Now, since I'm such a saint, I'm going to offer you a way out that doesn't include a torturous death, what do you say?"

"How you're going to do that?"

"He," June nodded towards Balthazar, "Is going to ask you something, all you gotta do is say yes."

"What's he going to ask me?"

"Needn't concern you yet. You just say yes, or I'll hand-deliver you to the demons. Believe me when I say: You won't like them when they're displeased."

Ian swallowed hard, wondering what pacts with the devil this woman had made to be so completely different, much stronger, colder and scarier than those women he'd attacked before her.

"One more thing: Were you ordered to hurt anyone else besides me?"

Ian frowned. "What? No. Just you."

June let out an inner sigh of relief; Lisa, Ben and newborn Carmen were safe. The freaks were only after her…unless the demons had sent someone else for them.

June turned to Balthazar: "So, do we have a deal?"

"If I told you that deals with angels are sealed by sexual intercourse, would you still make this deal?"

June flinched barely noticeably. "Yes."

"I'm very tempted to abuse that answer," Balthazar stepped closer to her and took her chin between thumb and forefinger. "You're going unhealthy lengths for him, June. Be careful it doesn't backfire."

June swallowed hard and nodded. "I'll manage, thanks."

"Don't be too sure. Your family has a history of instability." The angel shrugged. "But now, as for our deal. To some disappoint, I've got to say it only requires a kiss." Balthazar leaned forward and June met his lips with hers. She probably should have felt guilty at selling another guy's soul; but she only really felt a twinge of guilt for kissing someone not Sam.

"Yes," Balthazar said thoughtfully and brushed a thumb over June's lip after their deal was sealed. "I can see why he sticks with you."

June stared at the empty room when the angel and his prize were gone the next second. "At least one of us."