Act IV
1.1 scene i
(Luv-e-rest paces up and down holding a rose and doing the 'loves-me, loves-me-not' thing.)
Godmother Yoo hoo! Thumbelina!
Luv-e-rest (Holding arm up to Godmother and Alice) Stop! In the name of Love! Before you break a heart! Who are you? What are you doing here? We have enough problems here as it is!
Godmother I happen to be the Fairy Godmother and I have come to sort out your problems. Now, what is your problem?
Luv-e-rest (Holds his hand up to his forehead) My poor Snow White! Someone sent her through the washer and now she is smaller than the hoof of my horse! And you have my good friend, Prince Forget-a-lot complaining that his princess has grown a few feet! What is even worse is that Snow White is calling herself something like Indexalina!
Alice You mean Thumbelina?
Luv-e-rest Thumbelina, Indexalina, same difference. All that matters is that she no longer knows the true language of looove. (Crosses his hands on his heart)
Alice (Rolls eyes) Your point being?
Godmother Never mind that, so where is she?
Luv-e-rest There she is… (Points to where Thumbelina enters from)
Thumbelina (Walks on stage directly to Godmother) Thank god someone sane has finally arrived! I was about to stuff that rose he has up his nose, and stuff an old sock in his mouth. Something is wrong, Fairy Godmother, definitely very wrong. Romeo here thinks I'm Snow White. I have a feeling that it is the Wicked Witch up to no good again.
Godmother Yes, you are right. So, who do you suppose is in your story?
Luv-e-rest Has anyone ever seen a sky so blue? Or the grass so green?
Alice Can it, Bambi. No time for small talk.
Godmother Well, Luv-e-rest was saying something to me about his friend, the Fairy Prince Forget-a-lot, having a princess two sizes too big for him.
Thumbelina The Fairy Prince? Prince Forget-a-lot? I have not heard his name for so long… I actually miss his forgetfulness. At least he is a better Romeo than this guy over here is. Do you think I could go back to him now?
Godmother Yes I think we all should go over there and sort these two couples straight. Ready to go? (Alice, Godmother, and Thumbelina walk off stage)
Luv-e-rest Where are you going my fair damsels? O, woe is I, destined to a life of bachelorhood… no love to turn to, no shoulder to lean on! Alas, hark! I hear song of the wild tiki bird summoning me. I must go! As my good friend once said: Good night, good night; parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow. (Walks off stage with petal- less rose)
Narrator Well, maybe there is hope left. They are off to a good start, so let us go on and see what happens in Thumbelina's story, where the Frog Princess has been placed.
1.2 end of scene i
1.3 scene ii
1.3.1
(Frog Princess is sitting in a chair fanning herself with a paper fan)
Frog Princess I am going to lose it any second now, so help me!
Godmother (Entering stage with others) Calm down child, we have come to set things right.
Frog Princess Who are you?
Alice Why, she is the Fairy Godmother.
Frog Princess Pleased to meet you. Please help me!
Godmother That is why we are here. You see, Frog Princess, all of you have been mixed up, and now we have to set things straight. Thumbelina, here, belongs in this story while you belong in another. You can help us by describing your prince and we can find your story.
Frog Princess That is great. And here comes the Fairy Prince now!
Forget-a-lot (Walks on stage and proceeds to shake their hands) Why hello there! You three must be the three stooges!
Frog Princess Oh be quiet, you crazy buffoon! This here is Thumbelina, Alice, and the Fairy Godmother.
Forget-a-lot Hmmm… Thumbelina, now why does that name sound familiar?
Frog Princess Maybe because she is your princess, you idiot!
Forget-a-lot Oh yes! (Walks over to Thumbelina and takes her by the hand) Darling, splendid to see you. And just in time too! It is time for our 7am dinner! Let us go now!
Thumbelina (Turns to Alice, Godmother and Frog Princess) Thank you very much for returning me to my fairytale. I must go now, before Prince Forget-a-lot forgets how to walk, let alone fly! Good luck! (Walks off with Forget-a- lot)
Godmother Well, now that that is done with, Frog Princess, can you describe your prince for me?
Frog Princess Easy. He is green, lean, and not so mean. He loves to kiss, actually. In fact, he once kissed the freezer door, and his lips became attached to it. Eventually, we had to ask the three blind mice to pry his lips off. It was quite funny actually.
Alice She must mean Prince Pucker-Lips. I remember her saying something about trying to kiss a duck, so I guess a freezer is not that bad.
Godmother Then I suppose we have to go and find him. Frog Princess, where do you think he would be?
Frog Princess Well, it is his naptime now, so he would be at home asleep… I think…
Godmother Well, then we must go to your castle. (Three exit.)
1.4 end of scene ii
1.5 scene iii
(Pucker-Lips is kissing a toy frog. Briar Rose is sleeping. Three enter stage. Frog Princess' jaw drops when she sees Pucker-Lips)
Pucker-Lips Hello. I am the Frog Prince, better known as Pucker-Lips. Who are you?
Godmother Er, if you do not mind, could you stop kissing that frog for a minute?
Frog Princess You devil! You traitor! How dare you! Always raving about how you want to kiss me and only me, and now you go around kissing frogs which come from goodness knows where! And you! (Talking to Briar Rose who is asleep, but wakes up, rubbing eyes) How dare you take advantage of my poor innocent little Froggy, woggy!
Briar Rose What is going on here? Huh? I am awake? Did someone kiss me? (Sees Pucker-Lips) Oh no! Not you again! I should not have fallen asleep! Someone call the exterminator. That frog is out of control! He is a nonstop smooching-machine!
Godmother Calm down my dear. I am not an exterminator, but I can help you nonetheless. Now, if I am not mistaken, my friends Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather told me that your name was Briar Rose.
Briar Rose Why, yes it is. Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather were the fairies that helped me to hide in the forest.
Alice And this here is Miss Do Good, also known as the Fairy Godmother, who is a friend of your friends who are fairies like their friend here, who is my friend too, because she is helping all of you, and all of you are my friends! Isn't it exciting! We sorted out the Fairy Prince and Thumbelina, but the Frog Princess here still has a kissing problem so we brought her here so she could have her frog… I mean prince back! Well, that is, if you do not mind…
Briar Rose Well, if that was English, I hardly mind, let alone care. I just want my pillow. And Rock-a-bye. He is my prince, you know.
Godmother I think that is enough introductions. Now, Frog Princess, bring your prince to me please. Now, Pucker-Lips, do you believe that this princess here is your wife?
Pucker-Lips (In a croaky voice to Frog Princess) Is it really you, your ungreenness?
Frog Princess Oui, oui!
Pucker-Lips Did you speak French? Ma chérie! (Starts kissing her hand as they walk off stage together.)
Godmother Well that's that. Now, Briar Rose, what is your prince like?
Briar Rose All he does is sleep.
Godmother Hmm… I think I know whom you mean. I believe he is with Rapunzel.
Alice You know, I think I will have another party in Wonderland after all the royal couples have been unswitched.
Briar Rose (Yawning) Good idea. But make it a Coffee Party. Tea is not strong enough to keep me awake any longer. (Three exit.)
1.6 end of scene iii
1.7 scene iv
(Rock-a-bye is dropping off to sleep. Rapunzel is brushing her hair. Three enter.)
Godmother Hello there. I believe your name is Rapunzel.
Rapunzel Yes, it is.
Godmother (Turning to Rock-a-bye) And I believe you are with the wrong princess. Here is your real sleeping partner.
Briar Rose Rock-a-bye! What have you done with my pillow! Oh never mind. Just go make me some really strong coffee, will you?
Rock-a-bye You know, I think I was better off with her. (Nodding towards Rapunzel) At least she did not order me around. (Walks off stage, sulking)
Briar Rose How can I thank you Miss Do Good?
Godmother By going to Alice's party, of course.
Briar Rose Very well. See you there, Fairy Godmother. Are our princes invited this time, Alice?
Alice Most certainly! I cannot imagine a successful party without them. Well, bye Rose! (Briar Rose walks off stage)
Godmother Come with me Rapunzel. I will take you to your prince. I think I know enough of your story to know where you go. At any rate, your hair will tell me more than you will. Come on! (Three exit.)
1.8 end of scene iv
1.9 scene v
(Cinderella is sitting outside her tower. Climb-a-lot is stacking up bottles of shampoo when the three enter)
Godmother Hello Cinderella! How are you doing?
Cinderella (Stands up) I am thoroughly horrible Fairy Godmother. My prince insists on climbing my hair when it is much too short to climb. He insists that I grow it longer. It is bad enough having to climb the staircase in this tall tower with my glass heels.
Rapunzel Cinderella, do you remember what the Wicked Witch did at Alice's party? Well this story is mine. You belong somewhere else.
Cinderella Well that explains things. (Turns to Climb-a- lot, whose bottles fall down) Well, whatever your name is, it was nice meeting you. And I hope you get over your obsession with being a hair critic while climbing trees and mountains and scaling buildings.
Rapunzel (Looking at Climb-a-lot) Climb-a-lot, my sweet! My hair needs your shoes in it! It misses the gentle tug of your weight from far below me! Let me enter my tower so that you may as well!
Climb-a-lot Oh, goody, goody gumdrops! You are letting me climb again. Wait a minute… Yes, you are! I would know that shining hair anywhere! Who is she, though? (Pointing at Cinderella) Rapunzel, tell her to grow her hair long so I can climb it too. I already gave her some Clinic All Clear so her hair shines like yours, but it is still a disgrace.
Rapunzel Come on, you. I have got to get you out of here and back where you belong. Good-bye, Cinderella! Good-bye, Alice! I will see all of you at Alice's party! (Rapunzel and Climb-a-lot exit stage)
Godmother Four down, two to go. I say it is hard work, being a Fairy Godmother.
Alice Come on! We have still got to take Cinderella to her hard working cobbler! (Three exit)
1.10 end of scene v
1.11 scene vi
(Sandalman is chucking shoes at the toy goat that is supposed to be eating shoes. Snow White is sitting in her chair laughing at him and criticizing him)
Sandalman My shoes! Is this a goat or a monster? He is ruining my business! Someone do something!
Cinderella (Walking in with Godmother and Alice) Snow White, if you do not mind, could you call your goat to heel? Sandalman is my prince, and if you do not mind, my Fairy Godmother and Alice have come to take you to yours.
Snow White It is about time. My goat is gaining a bit too much weight from all this trash.
Sandalman (Throwing a shoe at Snow White) That is it! I have had it with all this garbage she has been talking! Someone take her out of here before I turn her into a nice pair of spiked heels!
Snow White All right! All right, already! I am going! And good riddance too.
Cinderella Thanks Fairy Godmother. Well, Snow White, I wish you luck! See you at Alice's party!
Godmother Well, since you and Prince Luv-e-rest are the only remaining people, you two must belong to each other. Let us get a move on! (Three exit)
1.12 end of scene vi
1.13 scene vii
1.13.1
(Luv-e-rest is sitting on the right side of the stage, pulling the petals from another rose, occasionally writing a few words on a sheaf of paper next to him. Three enter, Snow White at the front, from the left side of the stage)
Luv-e-rest (Standing and looking at Snow White when she enters) But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Snow White is the sun! See how she leans her hand upon her cheek… O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!
Snow White (Runs to him) Luv-e-rest, it is you! My bundle of love and poems. How have you been without me?
Luv-e-rest Snow White, my beautiful angel from paradise! You are back. I have been lamenting your disappearance and my woebegone days were filled with nothing but remorse. But upon your return, I once more find a reason to rejoice and it fills my heart with boundless joy! If music be the food of love, play on! Give me excess of it!
Snow White It is great to see you too. And thank you Fairy Godmother and Alice too, for returning me to my rightful prince. (Walks off hugging Luv-e-rest)
Godmother Well, that is everyone. Alice, it is time we got back.
Alice Oh yes, of course. I still have to arrange my party! (Two exit)
1.14 end of scene vii
2 End of Act IV
1.1 scene i
(Luv-e-rest paces up and down holding a rose and doing the 'loves-me, loves-me-not' thing.)
Godmother Yoo hoo! Thumbelina!
Luv-e-rest (Holding arm up to Godmother and Alice) Stop! In the name of Love! Before you break a heart! Who are you? What are you doing here? We have enough problems here as it is!
Godmother I happen to be the Fairy Godmother and I have come to sort out your problems. Now, what is your problem?
Luv-e-rest (Holds his hand up to his forehead) My poor Snow White! Someone sent her through the washer and now she is smaller than the hoof of my horse! And you have my good friend, Prince Forget-a-lot complaining that his princess has grown a few feet! What is even worse is that Snow White is calling herself something like Indexalina!
Alice You mean Thumbelina?
Luv-e-rest Thumbelina, Indexalina, same difference. All that matters is that she no longer knows the true language of looove. (Crosses his hands on his heart)
Alice (Rolls eyes) Your point being?
Godmother Never mind that, so where is she?
Luv-e-rest There she is… (Points to where Thumbelina enters from)
Thumbelina (Walks on stage directly to Godmother) Thank god someone sane has finally arrived! I was about to stuff that rose he has up his nose, and stuff an old sock in his mouth. Something is wrong, Fairy Godmother, definitely very wrong. Romeo here thinks I'm Snow White. I have a feeling that it is the Wicked Witch up to no good again.
Godmother Yes, you are right. So, who do you suppose is in your story?
Luv-e-rest Has anyone ever seen a sky so blue? Or the grass so green?
Alice Can it, Bambi. No time for small talk.
Godmother Well, Luv-e-rest was saying something to me about his friend, the Fairy Prince Forget-a-lot, having a princess two sizes too big for him.
Thumbelina The Fairy Prince? Prince Forget-a-lot? I have not heard his name for so long… I actually miss his forgetfulness. At least he is a better Romeo than this guy over here is. Do you think I could go back to him now?
Godmother Yes I think we all should go over there and sort these two couples straight. Ready to go? (Alice, Godmother, and Thumbelina walk off stage)
Luv-e-rest Where are you going my fair damsels? O, woe is I, destined to a life of bachelorhood… no love to turn to, no shoulder to lean on! Alas, hark! I hear song of the wild tiki bird summoning me. I must go! As my good friend once said: Good night, good night; parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow. (Walks off stage with petal- less rose)
Narrator Well, maybe there is hope left. They are off to a good start, so let us go on and see what happens in Thumbelina's story, where the Frog Princess has been placed.
1.2 end of scene i
1.3 scene ii
1.3.1
(Frog Princess is sitting in a chair fanning herself with a paper fan)
Frog Princess I am going to lose it any second now, so help me!
Godmother (Entering stage with others) Calm down child, we have come to set things right.
Frog Princess Who are you?
Alice Why, she is the Fairy Godmother.
Frog Princess Pleased to meet you. Please help me!
Godmother That is why we are here. You see, Frog Princess, all of you have been mixed up, and now we have to set things straight. Thumbelina, here, belongs in this story while you belong in another. You can help us by describing your prince and we can find your story.
Frog Princess That is great. And here comes the Fairy Prince now!
Forget-a-lot (Walks on stage and proceeds to shake their hands) Why hello there! You three must be the three stooges!
Frog Princess Oh be quiet, you crazy buffoon! This here is Thumbelina, Alice, and the Fairy Godmother.
Forget-a-lot Hmmm… Thumbelina, now why does that name sound familiar?
Frog Princess Maybe because she is your princess, you idiot!
Forget-a-lot Oh yes! (Walks over to Thumbelina and takes her by the hand) Darling, splendid to see you. And just in time too! It is time for our 7am dinner! Let us go now!
Thumbelina (Turns to Alice, Godmother and Frog Princess) Thank you very much for returning me to my fairytale. I must go now, before Prince Forget-a-lot forgets how to walk, let alone fly! Good luck! (Walks off with Forget-a- lot)
Godmother Well, now that that is done with, Frog Princess, can you describe your prince for me?
Frog Princess Easy. He is green, lean, and not so mean. He loves to kiss, actually. In fact, he once kissed the freezer door, and his lips became attached to it. Eventually, we had to ask the three blind mice to pry his lips off. It was quite funny actually.
Alice She must mean Prince Pucker-Lips. I remember her saying something about trying to kiss a duck, so I guess a freezer is not that bad.
Godmother Then I suppose we have to go and find him. Frog Princess, where do you think he would be?
Frog Princess Well, it is his naptime now, so he would be at home asleep… I think…
Godmother Well, then we must go to your castle. (Three exit.)
1.4 end of scene ii
1.5 scene iii
(Pucker-Lips is kissing a toy frog. Briar Rose is sleeping. Three enter stage. Frog Princess' jaw drops when she sees Pucker-Lips)
Pucker-Lips Hello. I am the Frog Prince, better known as Pucker-Lips. Who are you?
Godmother Er, if you do not mind, could you stop kissing that frog for a minute?
Frog Princess You devil! You traitor! How dare you! Always raving about how you want to kiss me and only me, and now you go around kissing frogs which come from goodness knows where! And you! (Talking to Briar Rose who is asleep, but wakes up, rubbing eyes) How dare you take advantage of my poor innocent little Froggy, woggy!
Briar Rose What is going on here? Huh? I am awake? Did someone kiss me? (Sees Pucker-Lips) Oh no! Not you again! I should not have fallen asleep! Someone call the exterminator. That frog is out of control! He is a nonstop smooching-machine!
Godmother Calm down my dear. I am not an exterminator, but I can help you nonetheless. Now, if I am not mistaken, my friends Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather told me that your name was Briar Rose.
Briar Rose Why, yes it is. Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather were the fairies that helped me to hide in the forest.
Alice And this here is Miss Do Good, also known as the Fairy Godmother, who is a friend of your friends who are fairies like their friend here, who is my friend too, because she is helping all of you, and all of you are my friends! Isn't it exciting! We sorted out the Fairy Prince and Thumbelina, but the Frog Princess here still has a kissing problem so we brought her here so she could have her frog… I mean prince back! Well, that is, if you do not mind…
Briar Rose Well, if that was English, I hardly mind, let alone care. I just want my pillow. And Rock-a-bye. He is my prince, you know.
Godmother I think that is enough introductions. Now, Frog Princess, bring your prince to me please. Now, Pucker-Lips, do you believe that this princess here is your wife?
Pucker-Lips (In a croaky voice to Frog Princess) Is it really you, your ungreenness?
Frog Princess Oui, oui!
Pucker-Lips Did you speak French? Ma chérie! (Starts kissing her hand as they walk off stage together.)
Godmother Well that's that. Now, Briar Rose, what is your prince like?
Briar Rose All he does is sleep.
Godmother Hmm… I think I know whom you mean. I believe he is with Rapunzel.
Alice You know, I think I will have another party in Wonderland after all the royal couples have been unswitched.
Briar Rose (Yawning) Good idea. But make it a Coffee Party. Tea is not strong enough to keep me awake any longer. (Three exit.)
1.6 end of scene iii
1.7 scene iv
(Rock-a-bye is dropping off to sleep. Rapunzel is brushing her hair. Three enter.)
Godmother Hello there. I believe your name is Rapunzel.
Rapunzel Yes, it is.
Godmother (Turning to Rock-a-bye) And I believe you are with the wrong princess. Here is your real sleeping partner.
Briar Rose Rock-a-bye! What have you done with my pillow! Oh never mind. Just go make me some really strong coffee, will you?
Rock-a-bye You know, I think I was better off with her. (Nodding towards Rapunzel) At least she did not order me around. (Walks off stage, sulking)
Briar Rose How can I thank you Miss Do Good?
Godmother By going to Alice's party, of course.
Briar Rose Very well. See you there, Fairy Godmother. Are our princes invited this time, Alice?
Alice Most certainly! I cannot imagine a successful party without them. Well, bye Rose! (Briar Rose walks off stage)
Godmother Come with me Rapunzel. I will take you to your prince. I think I know enough of your story to know where you go. At any rate, your hair will tell me more than you will. Come on! (Three exit.)
1.8 end of scene iv
1.9 scene v
(Cinderella is sitting outside her tower. Climb-a-lot is stacking up bottles of shampoo when the three enter)
Godmother Hello Cinderella! How are you doing?
Cinderella (Stands up) I am thoroughly horrible Fairy Godmother. My prince insists on climbing my hair when it is much too short to climb. He insists that I grow it longer. It is bad enough having to climb the staircase in this tall tower with my glass heels.
Rapunzel Cinderella, do you remember what the Wicked Witch did at Alice's party? Well this story is mine. You belong somewhere else.
Cinderella Well that explains things. (Turns to Climb-a- lot, whose bottles fall down) Well, whatever your name is, it was nice meeting you. And I hope you get over your obsession with being a hair critic while climbing trees and mountains and scaling buildings.
Rapunzel (Looking at Climb-a-lot) Climb-a-lot, my sweet! My hair needs your shoes in it! It misses the gentle tug of your weight from far below me! Let me enter my tower so that you may as well!
Climb-a-lot Oh, goody, goody gumdrops! You are letting me climb again. Wait a minute… Yes, you are! I would know that shining hair anywhere! Who is she, though? (Pointing at Cinderella) Rapunzel, tell her to grow her hair long so I can climb it too. I already gave her some Clinic All Clear so her hair shines like yours, but it is still a disgrace.
Rapunzel Come on, you. I have got to get you out of here and back where you belong. Good-bye, Cinderella! Good-bye, Alice! I will see all of you at Alice's party! (Rapunzel and Climb-a-lot exit stage)
Godmother Four down, two to go. I say it is hard work, being a Fairy Godmother.
Alice Come on! We have still got to take Cinderella to her hard working cobbler! (Three exit)
1.10 end of scene v
1.11 scene vi
(Sandalman is chucking shoes at the toy goat that is supposed to be eating shoes. Snow White is sitting in her chair laughing at him and criticizing him)
Sandalman My shoes! Is this a goat or a monster? He is ruining my business! Someone do something!
Cinderella (Walking in with Godmother and Alice) Snow White, if you do not mind, could you call your goat to heel? Sandalman is my prince, and if you do not mind, my Fairy Godmother and Alice have come to take you to yours.
Snow White It is about time. My goat is gaining a bit too much weight from all this trash.
Sandalman (Throwing a shoe at Snow White) That is it! I have had it with all this garbage she has been talking! Someone take her out of here before I turn her into a nice pair of spiked heels!
Snow White All right! All right, already! I am going! And good riddance too.
Cinderella Thanks Fairy Godmother. Well, Snow White, I wish you luck! See you at Alice's party!
Godmother Well, since you and Prince Luv-e-rest are the only remaining people, you two must belong to each other. Let us get a move on! (Three exit)
1.12 end of scene vi
1.13 scene vii
1.13.1
(Luv-e-rest is sitting on the right side of the stage, pulling the petals from another rose, occasionally writing a few words on a sheaf of paper next to him. Three enter, Snow White at the front, from the left side of the stage)
Luv-e-rest (Standing and looking at Snow White when she enters) But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Snow White is the sun! See how she leans her hand upon her cheek… O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!
Snow White (Runs to him) Luv-e-rest, it is you! My bundle of love and poems. How have you been without me?
Luv-e-rest Snow White, my beautiful angel from paradise! You are back. I have been lamenting your disappearance and my woebegone days were filled with nothing but remorse. But upon your return, I once more find a reason to rejoice and it fills my heart with boundless joy! If music be the food of love, play on! Give me excess of it!
Snow White It is great to see you too. And thank you Fairy Godmother and Alice too, for returning me to my rightful prince. (Walks off hugging Luv-e-rest)
Godmother Well, that is everyone. Alice, it is time we got back.
Alice Oh yes, of course. I still have to arrange my party! (Two exit)
1.14 end of scene vii
2 End of Act IV
