§ § § -- March 1, 2005
The dinner was solemn; they ate with little conversation, watching Anna-Kristina pick at her own food without taking in much. The funeral would be at seven that evening, as specified in Mateo's will, which he had left behind with Grady Harding not too long after he and Anna-Kristina had been married.
However, the lateness of the hour didn't prevent quite a crowd of islanders from showing up. Many carried flashlights or sometimes primitive fire torches; they gathered in a solemn, respectful group not far away from the principal mourners, while Mateo was laid to rest close to the graves of his parents. The royal family and Roarke stood back while one by one, this group came to extend their condolences to Anna-Kristina. Tears rained down her face, but she was composed, as befitted true royalty, and patiently accepted the sentiments of each one. It was almost nine before the last one had departed and they were able to leave the cemetery.
Roarke took Anna-Kristina aside and said quietly to her, "Just before he passed on, Mateo asked me to help him write a letter, for you to read in my presence. If you can meet me at the main house at ten tomorrow morning, we'll do it then."
Anna-Kristina stared at him. "Instructions? Letter? I thought everything was in his will, Mr. Roarke."
"Not quite," Roarke said and smiled at her. "You'll find out tomorrow."
§ § § -- March 2, 2005
Roarke handed Anna-Kristina a sealed envelope with her name on the front. "I believe Mateo's intention was for you to read this aloud," he said. "You'll see that the handwriting changes some distance down the page, as he lost strength after a time and asked me to write while he dictated."
Anna-Kristina nodded. She was pale and quiet; her eyes were red-rimmed and bloodshot, and he could see by her trembling hands that she hadn't eaten breakfast. She stared at her name on the envelope for a moment, while Roarke watched her in patient silence; at last she closed her eyes, pulled in a deep breath through her nose, and peeled up the flap on the back of the envelope, withdrawing the single sheet of yellow paper that bore handwriting on both sides. Her voice was faint and thick at first, but gained strength as she read aloud.
"Dear Anna-Kristina, I know you will be grieving deeply over me when I'm gone. I know your nature. But as I've told you many times through our marriage, you need to be strong. Get that strength from as many people as are willing to lend it to you, and then hold your head high and carry on. I know you can do it. Natalia will need you, and you should do what's best for both her and yourself.
"I have some urgent requests for you that I want you to carry out for me after I'm gone." Here the handwriting changed from Mateo's to Roarke's. "First of all, as I said, take your strength from anyone who will lend you theirs. In the first days especially, you'll need your family. I know you well enough to know that you're likely to need them from now on, and that's why I want you to return with them to your home country. Make your home in the castle where you grew up, and when you need comfort, rely on your sisters, your aunts and uncles, your cousins, your friends. When you need someone you really trust, go to them, please—don't shut yourself up and waste away from pining over me. It's all right to grieve, my Anna-Kristina, but it's not all right to make it the center of your life. I don't want you following your mother into some odd twilight zone and leaving Natalia as orphaned as if you had also died.
"When you've gotten properly settled into the castle and have your rooms as you like them, get out and get involved in all those royal duties you always reminisced about with me. Go to parties, take on some charities, greet your people, be seen with your family. Let Natalia become friends with your cousins' girls who are her age—it will be perfect for her, and much less lonely, as she grows older and can attend school in the same classes with Lisi and Viktoria.
"And as I said, don't pine for me. It would be my preference that you didn't grieve at all, but I know you will. If you loved me as you so often told me you did, with all your heart, then please do this for me: when you've resumed a full and active life as the princess you are, don't ever turn down a chance to meet men. Children should have two parents if at all possible. Yes, please, keep my memory alive for Natalia, but don't let her go fatherless for one moment longer than it will take you to find a good man, fall in love with him as you did with me, and be married to him. Don't martyr me and our love and refuse to give your heart, or you'll find it a very lonely life, and that's just not good for you.
"Christian and Miss Leslie will help you handle things. Take only what's dearest to you, sell or give away the rest, and put the house up for sale. If you have legal questions, ask Mr. Roarke.
"If it's possible wherever I'm going, I'll watch over you and Natalia. If it's not, then just know that I love you, I loved you from the beginning, and I want you to live your life to its fullest. You're too young to sequester yourself. Keep living, not just for Natalia's sake but for your own. That's the tribute I'd prefer you make. You know that in my will, everything goes to you, and I know you'll provide for our daughter.
"Be strong and well and happy, my Anna-Kristina. I know you will, one day.
"All my love, Mateo Apana." Flanking his signature were those of Roarke and Dr. Kara Lambert. Anna-Kristina glanced at the latter two, then stared at Mateo's signature for a long moment before slowly folding the page. Roarke smiled, asked if she had any questions, and when she shook her head, he nodded.
"You might remain if you like," he said. "I'm told that Christian plans to spend the day accepting applications for the vacancy in his business, but Leslie will be back, and I'll let her go for the day if you need company."
She nodded; she and Natalia were staying with Christian and Leslie, and she wanted a quiet place to come to grips with the finality of Mateo's loss. "I'll wait for her."
Roarke said, "Very well. It shouldn't be long…please excuse me, I am afraid I have a number of tasks to carry out. Would you like anything?" When she shook her head, he smiled and arose, laid a hand on her shoulder and then departed.
That evening at Christian and Leslie's house, she ventured into the living room where they were watching a couple of episodes from the DVD of the first season of "King's Castle". They looked around, and Christian paused the disk. "What is it?"
"Mateo left me a letter," Anna-Kristina said, fingering the yellow sheet she carried in one hand. "Mr. Roarke gave it to me this morning, and I think you should hear it."
"Go ahead," Leslie said, exchanging a quick look with Christian. They shifted on the sofa to face her, and she slowly settled into a chair and just as slowly unfolded the paper. She seemed to do everything at half-speed, they'd noticed, as though unsure that any of her actions were right or proper. Patiently they waited, then listened while she read. It took her almost ten minutes because she frequently had to stop and recompose herself.
"What do you think, Kattersprinsessan?" Christian asked when she finished at last.
She looked at him and winced. "I can't even think of dealing with it…I don't know what to do or where to start."
"It's already Wednesday," Leslie said gently. "You're leaving with the family on Saturday, and you don't want to leave unfinished business behind."
Anna-Kristina stared at her. "Are you telling me you don't want me to stay here? You want me to get out and go back to Lilla Jordsö so I won't constantly bother you with all my useless weeping and wailing, is that it?"
Christian leaned forward in his seat and said intensely, "Anna-Kristina, that's not it and you know it. Mateo himself urged you to go, and frankly, I think it's the best thing you can do, for both yourself and Natalia. It's not that we don't want you here, but you need the support system that you'll have in Lilla Jordsö—not just the family, but the people. We were given copies of Sundborgs Nyheter on our flight out of the country, and Mateo's passing was front-page news. Quite a few people who walked by us in the first-class section asked us to pass their condolences on to you, and we could see that they were genuinely sad for you. Like it or not, Anna-Kristina, if you stay here on this island, you'd probably turn into a hermit—and you'd have to find some means of support for yourself and Natalia, now that Mateo can't. Briella has said she could use a personal secretary, and you'd be perfect for that, with your experience filling that role for your father when he was king. Natalia will have Lisi and Viktoria for playmates and friends, and schoolmates in a few more years. When you need a crying towel in your lower moments, one of your sisters, or an aunt, can be of help to you. Aunt Anna-Laura will understand your situation much better than you suspect. You have a place in jordisk society, and you have a strong support system and a social life that will keep you from doing what your mother did."
Anna-Kristina took in his words in silence, her indignant expression slowly easing as she considered them. At length she sighed and said, "I guess you're right, Uncle Christian. I didn't think I wanted to see people, but I suppose that could change."
"It should," Christian said. "It's not good for you to crawl into a hole and pull the lid over your head, and certainly not good for Natalia. Now let's see—we know you're feeling overwhelmed, so if you'd like Leslie and me to take charge, just say so and we'll do whatever we can. The rest of the family can help too."
The next morning, Christian and Leslie, Gerhard and Liselotta, Gabriella, Margareta and Roald accompanied Anna-Kristina to the little house she and Natalia had lived in with Mateo, leaving the triplets, Gerhard and Liselotta's children, and Natalia at the main house where Mariki and her staff could keep an eye on them. Gregory and Anna-Laura went out to the Enclave to check on his house there, saying Anna-Kristina already had plenty of help and they'd merely be in the way.
The house was an unassuming place, surprising Anna-Kristina's sisters and cousins when they caught a glimpse of it. "You lived here?" said Gerhard in surprise.
"Two bedrooms, a kitchen, a living room and one bathroom," Anna-Kristina said and smiled wistfully. "We didn't really need more than that. At least, that's what Mateo said. I wanted him to be happy, and I knew this was where he was happy, so I was happy too."
"It's very tidy and attractive," Gabriella said, surveying the neatly mowed front lawn and the little flower beds fronting the house. "Did Mateo live here already when you were married to him?"
Her sister nodded, and Leslie smiled. "Mateo had probably lived here ever since he could afford a place. His parents' house must have held too many memories. I know where it is, but it's been a long time since anyone's bothered with it. Mateo, or his parents, might have left papers behind there."
Anna-Kristina, unlocking the door, shook her head. "Maybe some other time. It'll be hard enough to do this."
Inside, they surveyed the living room, and then Christian cleared his throat. "I think it's better if we do this in teams," he said. "Anna-Kristina, you and Magga can handle the room you and Mateo shared. Leslie and I will take the kitchen; Gerhard and Liselotta can pack Natalia's things, and Roald, you and Briella can begin here in the living room. I'd advise you not to worry about furniture; the house can be sold furnished, and you need bother only with such things as clothing, your personal possessions, Natalia's toys and so on. If anyone comes across something that doesn't fall obviously into the 'take it' or 'leave it' category, ask Anna-Kristina. If she's confused, you can check with me or Leslie."
"By the way," Leslie added, "there might be some things Anna-Kristina won't want to sell with the house, but for whatever reason won't be able to take with her. Anything like that, just put it aside and we can sort through it later."
"What of my cats?" Anna-Kristina asked.
Her sisters and cousins groaned, and Liselotta grinned. "You've got cats here too?" snorted Roald. "We should've known!"
Christian rolled his eyes, and Leslie shared her own grin with Liselotta. "That'll be enough," Christian said. "My Rose, do you have any thoughts?"
Leslie considered it a moment. "Tabitha might take them," she said. "Two of her cats have passed on in the last few years, and she'd probably welcome new ones. I'll check with her and find out for sure. Just for now, Anna-Kristina, they can stay here and you can feed them as you normally do. Well, let's get going."
As the day wore through and items were relegated to one or another category, Leslie made a trip into town long enough to lay in a supply of boxes and other packing materials. The packing went quite well until late in the afternoon, about half an hour before regular suppertime at the main house where they would all be eating again, when Christian and Leslie had finished cleaning the kitchen and begun to make a tour of the house to see what had been accomplished so far. "Don't tell me you're finished already," complained Roald with a grin. "You gave yourselves the easy job."
"Well, it did help that we used up a good bit of food to have lunch here," Leslie teased him. "Whatever's left, Christian and I'll take home with us. But I think you've made about all the progress you can in here." The living room was cleared out, with only the furniture, curtains and electrical fixtures remaining.
"There wasn't that much," Gabriella said. "A few knickknacks, some framed photos, and a lot of old magazines. I expect Gerhard and Liselotta had more to do than anyone else."
"I doubt that," said Gerhard's voice from Natalia's bedroom. "I do have a question, though. Should the crib and other baby furniture really stay with the house? Whoever buys it may not have infants, after all."
Margareta came out of the other bedroom. "Can it be sold, Aunt Leslie?"
Leslie nodded. "No problem. Where's Anna-Kristina?"
Margareta said with some impatience, "She's dawdling. We've packed away all the bathroom things and the bedding, and she's packing her own clothes right now, but she won't touch anything that belonged to Mateo. Every time I suggest it, she gets red and turns away from me, and won't discuss it."
"All right," said Christian, "then if anything else needs to be sorted here, you can help with that. Leslie and I will check on her." They left the others going through small items and went back to the larger bedroom, where Anna-Kristina was slowly going through the books in a bookcase in the corner.
"How much is left?" Leslie asked.
Anna-Kristina turned and stared at her. "Too much," she said, biting her lip. "I can't bear to move Mateo's things. Most of the books are his, and all the remaining clothes and shoes, and anything else…" She fought back a sob, but her tears overflowed. "Please, I can't do any more. I don't want to deal with it. If something has to be done with Mateo's things, I'd rather not be the one doing it."
Christian and Leslie looked at each other, and Leslie cleared her throat. "Okay," she said, "if you want, I can handle Mateo's things. Is there anything special you want me to do with them, or what?"
Anna-Kristina shrugged. "Do what you feel is best," she said painfully. "Magga's told me five times already that I'm taking too many things back to Lilla Jordsö as it is, and I'm tired of her lack of understanding." She looked at Leslie plaintively. "I know you'll take care of them, you have more respect than she does."
Leslie smiled a little. "Okay," she said. "Christian's been screening applicants for the manager's position in his office, so he'll be at work tomorrow handling that, but I should be able to wrap things up for you here. You can just leave the house key with me."
Christian nodded agreement and added, "Once we're on the way back to Lilla Jordsö, Leslie will look into putting the house on the market. For now, why don't you go out to the living room and make sure your sisters and cousins aren't discarding things you might want to keep. You have the last word on yours and Natalia's possessions, you know." He grinned at her alarmed look and stepped aside to let her rush out; then sighed softly and looked at Leslie. "Do you think the utilities need to be disconnected? It's a small enough island, I'd think that the same telephone number and phones can remain, and there wouldn't be any need to shut off the electricity or the water."
"Probably not, but I'll check with Father on that," Leslie said thoughtfully. "I think we can call it a day, anyway. Mateo's things can wait till tomorrow."
