Hey-ho everyone, to grandma's house we go!~ (But not really) Miharu and Mitsuki here, coming at ya to bring you another crack-filled, nonsensical chapter once more!~ We are immensely happy that the story has become this popular this quick! We were expecting one review each chapter at the most, but you guys were like… EPIC WIN and reviewed a lot! So, time for this thingie:

Thank you so much to:

1WordImagination

Amulet-Spade-Forever

RosesAndStripes

Mewkoko

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MaroThePanda

Funky Bracelet Chick

IxHatexYouxButxIxLovexYou

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You guys… ;.; -tears of joy- There's not words to describe how awesome you guys are!~ Arigatou!~ :D

And on that teary note, we begin the chapter!

-Miharu and Mitsuki

Chapter Four:

"Never mind." Hikaru said hastily. "C'mon, or we'll be late."

Kaoru looked hesitant to let it go. "Alright... But tell me later, okay?"

"Sure, sure." Hikaru said, making an evasive noise before dragging his brother to class.

Timeskip (After School)

"Make way, coming through, we can't stop! Move!" Rei shouted, speeding through the halls alongside a sweatdropping Tohru on her skateboard. The girls giggled and squeaked as they got out of the way, and Rei flashed them a charming smile.

"Ladies." He bowed, then pushed off further. The two were metres away from the door the third music room.

"Crap, Rei, the doors are closed!" Tohru yelled.

"Then we'll just have to make doors, Al!" Rei said determinedly, clapping her hands together with a grin.

"For Christ's sake, Rei, you're not Edward Elric!" Tohru screamed.

"Oh no? Just watch me use my mad alchemy skillage to totally PWN this N00b of a door!" Rei grinned hugely, and before she could press her palms to the door, they opened to reveal Tamaki and Kyoya standing there.

"See? See? What'd I tell you? Mad. Alchemy. Skillage." Rei stressed her nonexistent point smugly.

"Idiot…" Tohru muttered.

"You do realise that if you keep making a scene and disrupting our guests, we will have to forcibly remove you two from Ouran, if necessary." Kyoya smiled coldly.

"Waaah, Tohru, the Light Yagami of real life is threatening to hurt meh!" Rei whimpered.

Tohru patted her friend on the head, glaring at Kyoya. "Don't worry Rei… I'll protect you."

"EEEKKK! SO KAWAII!~" The fangirls screamed.

"Why won't you two join the club?!" Tamaki burst into overdramatic tears.

"'Cause we don't wanna. The only reason we came here is to bug them." They pointed at the twins, who glared.

"Eee, so you two are friends with the twins?" The twin's fangirls squealed in bliss.

"No, we're no—" Tohru and Rei started, but the twins had shared an 'I've-got-an-idea' grin and had draped their arms around Rei and Tohru's shoulders, squishing the two between them.

"Yes, as a matter of fact," Kaoru smirked.

"They came here just to visit us," Hikaru grinned.

"Didn't you?" They purred to Tohru and Rei.

The twins had them, and Rei and Tohru knew it. Their only option was to…

"Why yes," Rei said with a shy smile, blushing.

"But we're so disappointed…" Tohru continued.

"That the ladies are here to watch…" Rei said.

"It's just so… Embarassing…" Tohru blushed.

Rei raised a hand to cover her mouth and fidget with the bottom of her jacket nervously. Tohru raised both hands to her mouth, intertwining her fingers and looking sideways, away from everyone else.

"AWW, SO CUTE! THEY'RE EMBARASSED ABOUT THEIR LOVE FOR HIKARU AND KAORU! MOEEEEE!~" The fangirls screamed at the top of their lungs.

"Ohohoho!" A voice laughed, and all the hosts flinched slightly, while Rei and Tohru just stared blankly at the brunette girl spinning up from the floor like it was nothing.

"You two," She pointed at them. "Yes, you! Are you new members of the host club?"

"No." Tohru replied.

"Whaaattt?! But I thought for sure…" Renge trailed off, spinning back down into the ground.

"I want me one of those rotating thingamagigs." Rei pouted, tugging on Tohru's sleeve. "Tohru, can we get one? Can we, can we, can we?!"

"Now Rei," Tohru placed a hand on Rei's cheek. "Money is tight this month. We may barely get by. Do you really need such frivolous things?"

Rei lowered her head, blushing. "No," she sniffled cutely. "All I need is you, Tohru."

The eruption of shouts and cries was deafening.

"H-how absolutely heart-warming!" Tamaki sobbed, grabbing Rei and Tohru's hands tightly. "Your careful commoner's adoration for each other is so touching!"

"Did you have to mention 'commoners'?" Tohru deadpanned.

"Don't upset the commoners, boss." The twins said teasingly.

"That's right! We've got cheese in a can and we're not afraid to use it!" Rei yelled with a triumphant smile.

"Cheese…?" Hikaru started.

"…In a can…?" Kaoru finished.

"OH MY GOSH, WHERE DO YOU FIND THAT STUFF?! IT SOUNDS DELICIOUS!" Tamaki yelled enthusiastically.

"We have some back at our house." Rei piped up with a grin. "You guys could come over and try it after the club finishes!"

"Rei, ixnay on the eez-chay." Tohru hissed.

"Ixnay on the atin-lay." Rei hissed back, then beamed at the club. "So, come over after school, 'kay?"

"Wait, where do you live?" Hunny asked.

They smirked. "Just ask Hikaru and Kaoru, they know the way to our place."

Tamaki and the fangirls freaked out for entirely different reasons.

Timeskip (After Club)

The hosts energetically rang the doorbell.

"Tohru, get that, will you?!"

"Why can't you?!"

"I am a ninja! RAWR!"

"Then why don't you get the damn door?!"

"Fine! Be that way!"

"I will!"

Rei opened the door, smiling. "Hello!~" They sweatdropped.

"Oooh, mother, it's another commoner's home! Isn't this exciting?!" Tamaki said hyperly.

"Mother?" Tohru questioned, and before Kyoya could explain, Rei yelled:

"Dibs on being the alchoholic uncle with a gambling addiction that makes him visit the llama track every Tuesday!"

Everyone stared.

"…What?"

"Ookay, who wants cheese in a can?" Rei changed the subject, tossing everyone a spray can of cheese and showed them how to eat it.

"Oooh, the tangy flavour tastes cheap yet leaves an incredible rush after!" Tamaki grinned, spraying more cheese in his mouth. Kyoya had handed Rei the cheese back without even trying it, Mori had given Hunny his, Hunny had finished both, Haruhi had tried it once and gave it back, and the twins surveyed it critically.

"This doesn't look very good." Hikaru said flatly.

Rei gasped. "Elgaspo! Me and Fernando can not believe you just said that, twin number one!"

"How do you know I'm not twin number two?" Hikaru shot at her.

".." Rei had nothing to say, for once.

Tohru started shifting around uncomfortably. "Oh no, Rei, I think I've got my…"

Rei blinked, then turned serious. "Are you wearing any…?"

Tohru shook her head, and Rei stiffened.

"I didn't buy any…"

"Oh shit…"

Cue Kyoya's lightbulb.

"Well, it's getting late, you all should really be getting to your houses!" Rei announced and pushed them all out the door. Kaoru and Hikaru looked back to see Tohru curled over in pain, clutching her stomach tightly. As Kyoya passed the two, he told them to take them to their mother, as she would know how to handle this.

Lightbulb. Lightbulb.

"Thanks, guys." Rei grinned, patting Tohru gently on the shoulder as she grunted, her face almost pressed to the floor of the limo, bent over. "Tohru, you okay?"

"What do you think?!" Tohru hissed in pain.

Whoa, someone's PMSing…

"Fernando! Shut up! Where were you, anyways? You weren't in the last chapter!" Rei shouted at Fernando.

I was whoring myself out on the street.

"Classy, alpaca…" Rei rolled her eyes.

I don't need your attitude, bitch.

"Well I don't need your love, pimp." Rei countered.

You don't?

"…Well… Maybe a bit… Whorebag."

Harsh.

"That's how I roll, Fernando-Fern-Fan Palm-Palm tree-Coconut-Pineapple." Rei smirked.

"How does no one else notice that you're a schizo?" Hikaru exclaimed, raising an eyebrow in frustration.

What a dickhead.

"I agree. I mean, a schizo? That's crazy talk, right, Fernando?"

Definitely. But if you were a schizo, I would say that anyway, wouldn't I?

"Cheezdoodles! You're right, Fernando!"

"Is anyone else finding this weird?" Hikaru said.

"Me." Kaoru said.

"Excuse me sirs," The driver said nervously. "We're here." He finished, and jogged over to open up the door.

Rei strolled in like she owned the place.

"Ladies," Rei inclined her head with a smile at the maids, who swooned in reply.

"Oh, hello. Hikaru, Kaoru, your little friends are back today, I see." Mrs Hitachiin said, strolling up to them grandly with a dazzling smile.

"Yes, thank you for allowing us into your home." Rei bowed politely.

"Do you have multiple personality disorder or something? You keep switching characters." The twins said together flatly.

"Now, that's rude!" Mrs Hitachiin scolded them, then turned to Tohru. "Oh dear, what's wrong?"

"Urrrrgghhhh…." Tohru merely groaned in reply.

Lightbulb.

"Ohh, I know what it is. Come with me, you two," she said sharply to her sons. "Stay here."

"Huh?"

"Are you hungry?" Mrs Hitachiin addressed Rei, who nodded. "You two show her the kitchen, alright? I'm afraid the chef is on break."

"Aw, what a drag." The two grumbled. "Alright, c'mon, Rei."

"Coming!~" Rei chirped, working twice as hard to match their long strides.

"So, is Tohru a girl?" Kaoru asked offhandedly, as if simply inquiring about the weather.

"Wh-What?! Pfff, noooo…" Rei snorted suspiciously.

"Oh, really?" Hikaru smirked. "Then she isn't having cramps because she's on her period?"

"Period? What's that? Is that a girl thing? We're manly men, we don't know what that means!" Rei said quickly.

"Cut the act," Kaoru pressured her. "We know you're girls."

"Yeah, so?!" Rei was immediately on the defensive. "What're you gonna do? Tell the whole school?!"

"No, see, we're nice people, so we'll let you two get away with a minimal punishment game." Hikaru grinned devilishly.

"P-Punishment game?" Rei repeated nervously. "Like what?"

"Oh, not much, just…"

"…Joining the host club…"

"…And being our personal slaves…"

"WHAT?! NO WAY?!" Rei exploded, actually blushing for real this time.

"Why not? This way, we both get something out of the deal." They replied.

Rei tried to simmer down, then looked at the floor, muttering. "Rich bastards… Fine…"

"Yay!" The twins cheered, slapping high fives and leading Rei into the kitchen.

"So, this is the kithe—"

"Ohmygodit'ssobig!" Rei said without taking a breath. Her eyes were wide with childlike amazement, and her mouth opened with a POP!.

"It's no big deal. It's just like any other kitchen." Hikaru shrugged.

"Um, no, this is the size of my old high school's gymnasium. And that was hella big, man!"

"Whatever." Kaoru shrugged. "Take what you want."

"Sweet! Do you have any peanut butter?"

"Search for it." Hikaru said boredly.

"Hmph, fine." Rei said, and tried to stand on her tippytoes to reach the top pantry, then hopped up and down, dragged a chair and stretched her arms as far as they could go. She still couldn't reach.

"You're short, aren't you?" Hikaru sneered.

"No shit, Sherlock." Rei spat back, and they glared daggers at each other.

"C'mon, guys, calm down." Kaoru sweatdropped, and found the peanut butter, dropping it into Rei's outstretched hands.

"Thank you, Kaoru." Rei said with a smile.

Both looked surprised. "You can tell us apart now?"

"Well, duh." Rei smirked. "Kaoru's the nice one and Hikaru's a dickhead."

Damn straight.

"Fernando." She warned.

"What did you just say?!" Hikaru yelled at her. Rei plugged her ears.

"Nooottthhhiiiinnnn…" Rei whistled innocently, then took a banana out, got a knife and unscrewed the lid of the peanut butter jar. Then, she slathered the entire outside of the banana in peanut butter.

Rei tore off a piece and stuck it halfway into her mouth before turning to the twins, holding out the peanut butter-covered banana in her hands like a proud child. "wwnnfff fffrrruuuummm?" (Translation: Want some?)

"Ew, no." They immediately said in disgust. "It looks so gross."

Rei swallowed and glared. "It is not! Stop judging things based on how they look!"

And then she shoved the remaining halves of banana into their mouths.

A few seconds passed, and then:

"Ffs shh fwrrd!" (Translation: This is good!)

"Exactly!" Rei grinned widely, licking her lips of the remaining peanut butter with bright, happy eyes. "So now you know to learn to try new things. Even if they look weird, they could be really tasty."

"Ah, master Kaoru? You have a call." A maid popped in.

"Okay, I'll be back in a sec." Kaoru said to his brother, walking out of the room. When the door clicked closed, Hikaru smirked and Rei gulped.

"So, even if they look weird, they could be tasty, huh?" He said with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

"Mhm." Rei replied, reaching for another banana. She was stopped by Hikaru pressing her against the fridge.

"You look pretty weird." Hikaru said with a grin. "Are you tasty, too?"

He leaned in…

And that's where we leave you dangling!~ ^^ Ohoho, we're so evil, aren't we? Haha, sorry, readers, but we'll have to get at least five reviews for this chapter before we start working on the next one, so please do your part! We would love to hear your feedback and/or suggestions! :D Remember, an apple a day keeps the doctor away, but llamas keep the creepers away, so when in doubt, ditch that piece of crap and grab you a llama, bitches!~ -winks with tongues out- Haha, once more: R-E-V-I-E-W!~

Yours randomly, insanely and (hopefully) awesomely?

-Miharu and Mitsuki