A/N: Apologies for the late update. Too busy doing other things. It took me some time, and it was actually hard to make this certain chapter. I do apologize beforehand if this chapter seems choppy and not emotional enough. There's a reason why this story is rated T, and it is because of certain things said in this but not visual enough to make it M. I hope you still like it and I will try to update the second part of this chapter when I am truly done with it. Enjoy.

Miroku and Sango (Part One)

Miroku felt miserable. The more miserable he became, the more he drinks. After their divorce, he started drinking alcohol like it was water. He had actually drunk call Sango a few times, telling her in his drunken stupor that he missed her and for her to please forgive him. You could say it did not help their relationship any better. She had to warn Miroku if he continued abusively drinking alcohol he would no longer have visitation rights to their children as it was a bad influence to them. This declaration sobered Miroku up pretty fast, and he immediately went to AA meetings right after as evidence to Sango that he is willing to change.

His life did not let up though. Even though he still had visitation rights to his children, he did not feel truly happy. He had pretended for his children, but it was the nights that got to him. After he made sure all his children were asleep, he had mourned his loss alone in the night. He had shown symptoms of depression even though he tried to hide it. His children were worried, knowing full well there was something wrong with him and how he seemed to hide it with a smile.

One day, he felt so empty that he would daze. Just daze. His eyes would cloud and he seemed to be standing there looking at nothing. He was not dreaming nor was he thinking. It was as if he was not wholly there. It was like his spirit left him, only to leave an empty shell. Thankfully, this moment was not seen by his children. It would make him feel even more guilty to worry his children. He already felt like a burden for living, suffering for the consequences of his actions he had since regretted after the divorce. Darkness seemed to have consumed him as if a black hole was consuming him into nothing. He could not feel; he could not see; he could not hear; and he could not even manage to taste his food. He was too consumed in his own pain that it almost felt like he had been cursed.

Even then, he felt like he did not suffer enough. He blamed himself alot for ruining his family. He felt like every time he would touch something; it would be destroyed. This was the reason why he was hesitant to hug or even touch his children sometimes.

One time, one of his mistresses saw him walking into town with his children. They were enjoying their day, but the woman could not even let him be happy with just his children. She had to destroy what little happiness he had that day.

"Miroku!" His mistress yelled out. Miroku turned around and was frozen from sight towards his once favored mistress. With his body still as a stone, she took this opportunity to run up to him and held him by one of his arms, her body rubbing against him as she did so.

His children watched with surprise before some of his children's facial expressions turned into disgust. Almost all of his children knew full well what their father had done to their mother. Sango and Miroku tried to hide it from them. Though young as they were, they knew what was happening. They knew their father did something bad. And in a sense, they did caught him once, intimately holding a woman who was not their mother. Only the oldest ones knew the meaning of cheating when they divorced.

"I missed you so much! When will you come over again? It's been over a year already and I missed you so much," said the mistress, whining in a seducingly way with her finger gently stroking his chest up and down.

By then, Miroku was already out of his shocked state before seeing his children's mood had lowered. His oldest children would cover the ears and eyes of the untainted young ones. As their older siblings, it felt right to do so. They did not want them to feel as damaged as them. Seeing his children like this, he felt guilty and then anger started to form into chest towards his former mistress. He looked to his former mistress and pushed her away, not caring if she got hurt from doing so.

"Do not touch me, Mikako! I told you we were already over," Miroku told her without emotion. He felt disgusted when she touched him and even felt more disgusted when he allowed her to do so. He just felt disgusted not only at her but himself as well. He wondered why he could be so foolish and stupid going after women like them when he had a woman like Sango, whom he truly loves.

Mikako was surprised from his cold-heartedness and she, too, became angry.

"How dare you!" She screeched, "Nobody! I mean nobody ignores me for a whole year and then pushes me!" She then looked at the children and pointed at them while looking at Miroku. "It isn't my fault you ruined your family. It's not my fault you can't keep it in your pants while I made you feel wild in bed."

Mikako did not stop yelling, cursing at him and yelling obscenties that young children like Miroku's should not hear. She continued on saying things about how good she was in bed and how he came back to her for more. The oldest children looked pale and sick from the details this mistress spoke of in front of them. The damage of hearing these explicit things was done, and nothing can be undone to forget them as it was buried deeper into the gaping of their hearts of their already broken family. The once beloved father became a stranger to them that day.

Miroku could feel himself get sick to allow his children hear her rants and disgusting words towards him. Not being able to take it anymore, he ignored the woman and tried to take his children away from the mad woman. He could still her screaming as her echoes repeated in his head and the looks their children made from those words the woman spouted.

In the end, his children ignored him and the once happy-filled day they had was filled with silence before the children returned to their mother. He felt truly disgusted with himself that day and tried to reconcile with his children at their next visit which he did, but it was no easy task at all. He knew that day would scar them for life, and he knew he would be forgiven some day but that day will never be forgotten.

His world was damaged and he wondered if he could ever make it better again.