"Surely you can manage a better welcome than that?" The figure asked in feigned disappointment, then shrugged. "Ah well."

Who...?

D-boy cast a questioning glance over towards Eff, who returned it, equally confused. When he resumed his attention back to the stranger, a light illuminating the being's right side caught his eye. The elder of the two figments craned his neck as best he could to get a better view. A rectangular hole, resembling that of a doorway had materialised in the Void, and looked as if it was a passageway from their current dimension to another. D-boy moved back to his original position and the doorway was hidden again, giving it the appearance of being two-dimensional.

Eff received a nudge in the ribs by D-boy's elbow. It wasn't necessary, Eff had already noticed it for himself and was still staring goggle-eyed at it.

I wonder how he's managing to restrain himself from hurling himself through it

Heh, maybe I should push him through and get rid of him.

D-boy held back a grin trying to force itself upon him.

"You two are both unusually quiet," the figure hissed observedly.

Eff said I was quiet earlier.

...what?

The thought startled him; it was trivial, and yet a part of him had chosen to remember it.

"I had been anticipating a bombardment of questions. Not that I'm complaining, I assure you. This makes my job that much easier."

It was Eff who took command.

"What, exactly, is your job?" He eyed the stranger suspiciously, who now advanced upon them, his shape becoming clearer.

The first thing that was the most noticeable was the being's apparent inhuman form, as it came to a halt a few feet away from the Figments. A pair of ram-like horns were mounted on a drawn, surreal face. The large, blank eyes and lack of a nose gave the creature's head the appearance of a skull. Protruding shoulders and an abnormally thin physique were covered by a cloak of sorts, which draped down to conceal the rest of the figure's body, the ends forming into dark tendrils. D-boy watched mesmerised as the wisps of cloak continuously broke away and dissipated, like fire and smoke at the same time. Compared to the doughboys, the being loomed over them ominously, and the elder Figment estimated it to be around eight feet in height.

"My job? Why, I'm the Devil." The being announced, then added as an afterthought, "Though I prefer my real name; Senór Diablo."

The Devil?

Satan?

It can't be...

possible.

This place...everything. I don't know what's certain anymore.

Though, right now, I don't really have a choice about believing him or not...

"What...do you want with us?" D-boy forced his to voice work.

"You'll both be pleased to know that it's my responsibility to sort your little mess out." Satan grinned, making no effort to hide the fact he was greatly amused by the situation. Eff scowled, and shot D-boy a look which clearly meant this "mess" was completely his fault. The other glared back at him defiantly. They would have continued to try and outstare each other had Satan not addressed them both with an impatient "ahem".

Satan folded his arms behind his back and asked casually, the hiss constant in his voice, "Now, before I reveal everything, is there anywhere specific you would like me to start? Fortunately for you, I am in a good mood as a bus of nuns has driven into a ravine."

...a ravine?

D-boy cursed himself for thinking something worthy of Eff. That had to be rectified.

"Why is it your responsibility and not, say, God's?"

The Devil let out an indignant snort. "Please, that fat little lawn gnome? He hasn't lifted a finger since creating that shithole of a universe. It still amazes me how he managed to do something so productive in the first place. Nevertheless Psychodoughboy, an excellent question. It's just like you to be so sharp."

This time, it was Eff's turn to snort bitterly.

"Don't worry Mr. Fuck, you have your moments." Eff was not consoled. "It is my duty, because contrary to what you both believe, I am your Master."

...the hell? - heh.

That doesn't make sense.

Is he lying to me - us?

There's no way-

"Let me explain. Because even though it's most entertaining to watch you desperately figure that bombshell out, I have neither the time nor patience to wait for you to do so on your own." Satan paused thoughtfully, "I suppose I should start at the very beginning."

"That might help." Eff muttered under his breath and scuffed the non-existent ground with his painted-on boot. D-boy jabbed Eff in the area where his ribs would have been situated. Evenheshould have realised it was unwise to provoke the Devil. Besides, he promised them answers and D-boy was not going to let that little shit ruin it for him, not when they were so close. However to much relief, Satan chose to ignore the remark, as the suggestion he had not heard it was foolish.

Perhaps nuns should die more often...

Fuck, if anything puts Satan in a good mood, it should happen more often.

"I'm sure you both have realised this is not your first time in Nowhere?" D-boy assumed Nowhere was the name Satan had given the Void they were in. However, he gave no answer one way or the other. Eff followed his lead, deciding it was probably best that he didn't carry out his urge to kick Satan in the shin. "In any case, Nowhere was where you were created. Think of it as a convenient storage space; I imagine God got distracted and forgot about it, it would hardly surprise me. Yes, well. Psychodoughboy, you were the first of my creations, and the first Voice I bestowed upon Nny. I had hoped you would be strong enough by yourself to bring Nny to suicide, however I miscalculated and sought to make amends immediately. This is where you come in, Mr. Fuck."

"Yay!"

Eff squealed with delight at his entrance and listened, enraptured. How vain...

Something was still playing on D-boy's mind. Satan had said he wasn't strong enough alone and this irritated him; he should not have had to rely on Eff's help. Given time, he would have been able to do it himself. Fuck, it was only Eff's betrayal that had stopped him before. D-boy subconsciously glanced over towards the other, who was still grinning stupidly at the Devil, and sighed for himself.

The Devil continued with his explanation. "Because Nny needed more than Pyschodoughboy's despair to push him over the proverbial edge, you Mr. Fuck, were bestowed the Voice of Insanity, in an attempt to encourage it within Nny. Together you were to work towards your purpose, only I didn't count on one of you having your own objective."

Eff lowered his gaze guiltily, the smile fading from his face. When he spoke, his voice was filled with detest, "It wasn't our purpose, it was yours. Created for the very purposed of being used. Of course, you wouldn't have any idea how it feels to know that. I tried to break free from the Wall Mons- your- control, tried to become Real so I could live for me and make my own purpose."

D-boy could do nothing but watch the horror unfolding before him. Eff was going to ruin it for him.

Satan seemed only mildly surprised at Eff's outburst, "Still bitter I see. If you hate someone, Mr. Fuck, you have to take the consequences. But seeing as I'm Senór Diablo, I don't think that will be happening any time soon. However, despite your evident Pinocchio complex, the task was completed with commendable improvisation. Nny accidently shot himself in the head with that Robo-Arm, which allowed the monstrosity you believed to be your master to break free."

There was so much to take in, yet the only thing D-boy could concentrate on was how he had misplaced his loyalty. Eff was sure to have something to say about that.

I hate myself.

...it's humiliating.

D-boy pulled himself out of self-pity long enough to ask another question.

"Why did you...make us believe the Wall Monster was our master?"

The query caused Satan to grin with approval, "My, aren't we the bright one? It was so you were willing for it to destroy you, stop your existence. It's what you wanted, isn't it?"

The question was rhetorical, and the Devil's pause allowed D-boy to steal a glance at the other to see his reaction. D-boy's mouth twitched, desperately trying to form a smirk; Eff looked completely overwhelmed. He wasn't able to concentrate for so long on anything, never mind something as complex as this.

"If you wanted your "master" to be free from the wall, it could reclaim you," Satan continued, "This is exactly what I wanted you to do Psychodoughboy, or hasn't it dawned on you yet? You see, the Wall Monster was the physical collection of waste created by human negitivity. A residue of the very acts themselves. If only they could see they were wading around in their own filth. But what has this got to do with you? You were to push Nny into killing himself, allowing the Wall Monster to escape his prison. I have already explained this to the boy himself, and I do hate repeating myself. Yet it has to be done, unfortunately for me."

He met Nny?

It didn't even occur to me that after he shot himself he'd go to hell

understandable really.

"First I should explain more about your supposed "master", before I explain your roles in all of this. It will make it far easier to understand, I'm sure." Satan gestured dramatically to get the desired "prophetical" effect he was aiming for, "The Wall Monster isn't the only waste, it forms and accumulates like any other and understandably, it needs to be dealt with. So, specially cleared out "cells" are formed to contain the negativity, one such cell being Johnny's basement wall. But when it grows too large to accommodate it's prison, it must be flushed out and disposed of. Following so far Psychodoughboy? I daresay Eff is, and you should perhaps summarize this to him later."

"Hey! I'm listening!" Eff squeaked, offended, his voice unnaturally high due to being made of Styrofoam.

D-boy finally allowed himself to snicker. It felt good.

The Devil surveyed them both indifferently, "My most profound apologies."

Eff was not amused and resorted to sulking.

"Where was I? Ah yes. The waste must be flushed out, which means someone must have the duty of doing so. I would like to point out the task of appointing such a person is out of my hands, although by choosing Nny, your job was half-done anyway. Doesn't that cheer you up? The fact that Nny had found a way to continue to strengthen the barrier containing the waste was a minor setback, but it merely prolonged the inevitable. After he accidentally killed himself, the Wall Monster broke free, and "reclaimed" you as you so desired Psychodoughboy. Eff, well, he didn't have much of a choice on the matter really, and his dream of ever becoming Real was ended. Then the entire universe collapsed, taking the waste with it, mission accomplished so to speak. You can imagine, I'm sure, that it would not be healthy to have so much negativity stored like that, just waiting to destroy everything, so we must destroy it first. After that's done, the universe is rebooted from a backup disk, or something to a similar effect. Is this all becoming clear to you?"

As clear as it'll ever be...

This...it's so hard to understand

especially after what i've believed for so long turns out to be all a lie.

Eff returned from his sulk. "What about Nny? What happened to him?"

Satan waved his hand apathetically, "Rebooted along with his universe, though what happens to him now is no longer my concern."

Eff contemplated this for a moment, "So then, why are we here?"

"There's hope for you yet, Mr. Fuck. It was always my intention to destroy you both, right from the beginning. After all, you were manifestations of the very negativity which needed to be flushed. It didn't bode well for two such highly destructive figments be let loose. No, you needed to be washed away too. But then, rather than have you both erased like the waste, I had you rebooted here. I'm not quite through with you both just yet."