Chapter 4: Family Ties [Sam's POV]

In her head, Sam was already packed and out of this town. She was sailing a boat far away from all the pain. She'd done a horrible thing hurting the people closest to her, but she made no excuses.

Yes, she nearly died from a gunshot wound. Yes, the one person that ever truly loved her and made her feel good enough turned his back on their love. Yes, her mother worked behind her back to keep Jason away and called Sam degraded, pathetic poison to her little sisters for not wanting more. Yes, in that moment she felt more alone and lost than she'd ever felt in her life and drank herself numb. Still, there was no excuse for sleeping with her mother's husband that night.

She would live with that sickening truth for the rest of her life. There was no justification or rationalization that could make it okay, make it go away. It killed her and she didn't know how she could ever forgive herself, let alone be forgiven by her mother or fiance.

Realizing these relationships could never recover from her actions, there was only one thing to be done before she left Port Charles for good. She had to tell him goodbye and she had to tell him why. She owed him so much more, but the only thing left to give was the truth.

Sam never expected Jason to tell her he'd slept with Elizabeth as a result of witnessing her and Ric together. After months of Sam begging and pleading, Jason finally came for her only to find her with him. The life drained out of her hearing his admission. Her heart fell to her stomach. Her lungs froze unable to take or give any air. A part of her wished all life had permanently left her body that moment once the initial shock passed and the anguish of it all set in.

It shattered her heart, but she said goodbye. The look in his eyes told her nothing was left for her there. She couldn't leave fast enough. She was livid with her mother for dragging her away from her escape, but fate wasn't done playing its cruel tricks. Her mother had stage 2 lung cancer and might die. Alexis asked her daughter to put their differences aside for the sake of her two little sisters. Molly and Kristina would need all of their family now.

How could she leave her mother and little sisters now? How could she stay and live with the guilt of what she'd done? She'd gone back to Jason's. He'd been her sounding board for so long. She didn't know how to work through any of this without him. He hadn't let her down, even though she knew he could barely stand to look at her. Jason listened patiently and reassured her decision to stay and help her family.

She knew staying and living with the secret of that night with Ric would be one of the hardest things she'd ever have to endure, but her mother's life was at stake. She had the chance to help her mother survive cancer and be there for her sisters. Kristina and Molly needed their big sister to provide the love and support missing in their life while Alexis was so sick and Ric busied himself as their mother's stand-in as District Attorney.

Dealing with Ric turned Sam's stomach. His mind was twisted. He had the nerve to suggest Sam actually enjoyed being with him that night. The reality was sleeping with him was a moment of ultimate despair and self-loathing for not feeling worthy of love or anything good.

Ric went out of his way to find reasons to touch her and be near her despite her threats for him to stay away. She knew it was all in effort to get revenge on Jason. Ric despised him, because Ric would never receive his brother's love, trust, or respect the way Sonny so freely gave it to Jason. Ric sought every opportunity to remind Jason of Sam's betrayal. She struggled to forgive herself for giving Ric the ammunition to hurt everyone she loved.

Fortunately, Jason was by her side through it all. If anyone told her five months ago they'd be together again and trying to conceive their first child she'd believed them either hopeless romantics or just clearly out of touch with reality. So many things, so many people conspired against their reunion. It was impossible for her to imagine ever feeling the happiness she felt now a few short months ago.

First, there was the grueling battle for her mother's survival. The cancer was aggressive and the surgery and various medical treatments left her mother barely hanging on. On top of that, Alexis and Sam's cousin Nikolas made her promise not to reconcile with Jason if he pursued her. Alexis argued Jason's life was too dangerous for Molly and Kristina.

Nikolas made it clear he would feel compelled to insist Sam abide by his favorite aunt's wishes if Alexis passed. Her heart was torn between having the love of her life, or being allowed to be the primary caretaker for her sisters should they lose their mother.

Sam knew her mother needed the piece of mind that all three of her daughters would be safe without her. She decided to tell Alexis what she needed to hear until her mother recovered and Sam could be truthful about getting back together with Jason. Sam needed Jason and he needed her. They wanted to try again. They agreed to meet secretly away from the prying eyes of Ric, Alexis, and Nikolas to begin to repair their damaged relationship. No matter what, she knew in her heart she would always choose Jason.

Sam was so grateful her mother's cancer was responding well to chemotherapy, despite the truth that later came to light. It turned out Alexis saw Ric and Sam together that night when she'd returned to apologize to Sam, but kept quiet. Alexis even found situations to push Ric and Sam together over the next few weeks claiming it was in the best interests of Molly and Kristina. She let Sam silently suffer her shame, guilt, and disgust and endure Ric's humiliating verbal abuse. Alexis allowed Sam to believe she and her mother were bonding, though Alexis already knew she'd never forgive Sam.

As if all this wasn't enough, Ric wasn't done inflicting pain. Sam had been set up and arrested for stealing evidence from police custody while working as a file clerk at PCPD. Ric reveled in showing Sam time-stamped photographs of Jason holding Elizabeth after just promising to be there for Sam. Ric sunk the knife in pointing out how comfortable they looked in each others arms. He tortured Sam as he painted the picture of Sam rotting in prison as Jason fell deeper in love with Elizabeth and her baby.

Sam realized Ric was framing her. She panicked and ran, but Jason never let her fall. They managed to evade police for about two weeks while working to prove Sam's innocence. They believed Ric teamed up for revenge with his brother's enemy, Lorenzo Alcazar. Lorenzo hired someone to falsify digital evidence against Sonny and Jason's organization. Ric was the logical choice to make it appear Sam attempted to steal that evidence.

Sam and Jason managed to find the computer geek responsible for creating the false data, but Alcazar couldn't risk arrest for his part in the frame-up. He'd managed to track down the computer kid to tie up loose ends. Sam, Jason, and computer geek Spinelli were nearly killed before they could turn themselves in.

Lorenzo Alcazar's son was about to shoot Jason and Sam when she aimed her gun and fired. Sam would never forgive herself for the trauma it caused her sister to witness that horror. Little Kristina ran from her mom chasing after a puppy and ended up in the middle of the gunfight. It took weeks of therapy before Kristina would even speak. Only now was she beginning to come out of her shell.

Sam blamed herself, but she blamed Ric even more. He'd been the one to frame her and start this whole chain of events. Sam wished they'd been able to provide sufficient evidence Ric conspired to frame Sonny, Jason, and Sam. Instead, she settled with Spinelli's demonstration to the police helping clear the three of all charges.

Sam couldn't stand that Ric was now threatening to take Molly away from Alexis. There was no way that sick twist was going to take her baby sister away from their mother. Not now while she battled cancer. Not ever.

Reliving all this now Sam almost wish she'd actually used that knife on Ric when she had the chance. Thank God Carly stepped in that night on the terrace as Sam held the knife to Ric's throat. Otherwise, she'd probably be in prison for murder right now. Strange. She never thought she'd have a supporter in Carly given their history, but Carly stepped up for her several times in the last six months.

Carly helped keep Ric at bay, encouraged Alexis to forgive Sam, and was actually championing Sam and Jason's baby-making effort. All Sam could figure was Carly's hate of Elizabeth and Ric must outweigh the bad history she shared with Sam. Sam shook her head remembering how vicious Carly was to her realizing the depths of what her hatred must be for Elizabeth and Ric to choose her over them.

Sam was right there along side Carly in her contempt for Ric. In all honesty, there were even a few times she'd hated Elizabeth over the last few months. In the middle of all the other chaos, was the pregnancy scare with Elizabeth. Sam still shuddered at the thought of Elizabeth carrying Jason's child. Sam and Jason were barely beginning to get back what they lost when Elizabeth told them she was pregnant and Jason might be the father.

Sam closed her eyes tightly pushing that memory away. She was cut to the quick that day on the rooftop when Jason told her about Elizabeth's baby. She nearly gave up on them, because she could see the future in her head like flashes of a movie if Jason was the father. He'd want to marry Elizabeth. He'd want to provide a good home with two loving parents for the baby. He'd fall in love with her. She'd lived that movie with him and she couldn't bear to watch someone else have her happy ending.

Thankfully, new and happier memories helped to soften the pain that still crept into her heart over those recollections. She remembered the day Elizabeth told Jason he wasn't her baby's father. She remembered a few days ago on New Year's when Jason professed his love for her and his sincere desire for Sam to be the mother of his children. She remembered the love they'd made that night and the following morning and this morning in hopes of creating a baby out of their love.

These memories definitely softened the harsher truths that unfolded the last several months, but she still couldn't help feeling uneasy about it all. Carly kept warning Sam that Elizabeth had her sights set on Jason. Elizabeth was divorcing Lucky, but she didn't take Jason up on his proposal when she'd had the chance. Elizabeth seemed like a nice enough person that just made mistakes like everyone.

Sure Carly was convinced otherwise, but Carly openly despised the woman. Still, Sam had to admit it was a little odd how Elizabeth continually popped into Jason's life now after that night when they barely spoke during the two plus years before. Sam tried to write it off as her own insecurities, but Carly had a sixth sense about stuff sometimes. Sam would be lying if she claimed seeing Elizabeth and Jason together now didn't make her a just little bit anxious.

She wanted Jason's baby more than anything in this world. She had the love of her life again and he wanted a family with her. It was everything and it was so close and the thought of losing it again scared her to death. Her hand moved lovingly across her flat tummy as she wondered if their baby was already there inside her?

Page 5 of 5 Created: 2009-12-10 Updated: 2012-05-10 Words: 2076