A/N: Merry Christmas everyone!

Beta'ed by Shelby (thanks, hun).

I learned by the reviews and mails some of you send me that you're confused about this : Yeah, that's the point. Blair's confused too. I don't want to make her the bad kid, she just needs to reflect everything. You'll see that she figures it out and there will be indeed a happy-end.


Part IV

Friday morning came; Blair lost her nerves, and yelled a lot at the staff like she usually did before she had to catch a flight. She hated flying because it was the one thing she didn't have any control in and Blair hated not even having the possibility to take control. Of course there were so many other things too which brought her to the exact same situation, but ever since Blair saw the first news about a plane crash on TV, she started to hate flying. Her mother offered her in the past quite often to come with her to Paris but she refused.

Chuck tried to calm her, but failed. He knew about Blair's fear, but of course, he wouldn't mention it to her, especially not before they actually had to fly. He hadn't had that much of a death wish.

But at some point Dorota lost it and started to threaten Blair that she would put her on valium if she didn't calm down. It worked. Chuck was once more impressed by Dorota's influence over Blair. Blair might deny it, but Dorota was very important to her. Well, how could she not be? She was Eleanor's replacement all her life. Every time a very important meeting came up, Eleanor let Dorota play her mother role.

Blair's first play in kindergarten, Blair's first chorus performance, Blair's first painting competition, it was always Dorota who waited on the sideline and applauded for her. Blair would never admit it, but this had been very important to her to have at least the support of one parent figure from her house.

And Dorota was also her secret keeper. Eleanor always told Blair that she didn't have enough talent to get a foot down in the artistic department so Blair pretend to give the painting, the singing and the acting up and just focus on her future as a lawyer. But the truth was, she was good in all of it and Dorota encouraged her to continue it. So she did, just without telling Eleanor.

Secretly, Chuck thanked her for that because he knew that one reason for Blair's constant acting out at Yale had been the fact that she didn't like the study subject at all. But this was one of the other things he needed to discuss with her as soon as they entered the neutral ground in Cuba. He knew when he confronted Blair with any of this in New York, she just would turn around, run, and leave him standing there. It was a painful topic. Just like every parent topic always was.

On the way to the airport they didn't talk. Dorota eyed both of them carefully while they stared out the window. She didn't have a clue when Blair invited her to this vacation what was going on, but Dorota had a fine censor when it came to Mr. Chuck/Ms. Blair-trouble. She sighed. It was going to be hell of a weekend.

When they reached the airport, Blair finally broke the silence.

"When does our flight take off?" she asked Chuck.

"Whenever we want, Bart is sending us the Bass jet," Chuck replied nonchalant.

"Why did he do that?" Blair returned confused.

"Are you seriously about to complain about it, Blair?" Chuck asked in disbelief.

"Of course not! I just wanted to know why he would do something like that. It's not like your father is one of the nice guys," Blair snapped at him.

"Yeah right, I forgot that your father is a saint. What's his lover's name again?" Chuck hissed back. Blair opened her mouth to yell at him but Dorota cut her off.

"ENOUGH! Stop fighting; start taking your luggage and walk," Dorota commanded.

Blair and Chuck obeyed. When Blair reached out for her big suitcase, which she chose instead of the two much smaller suitcases she'd packed before, Chuck took it without a word. They might fight all the time lately, but he was still the perfect gentlemen he always was. And that included carry her suitcase for her.

"Thanks," Blair said merely. Chuck ignored her. "I'm sorry Chuck. I shouldn't have said that." Chuck looked at her and met her eyes with his. He nodded to accept the apology.


When the plane rolled on the runway to take off, Blair's knuckles turned white as they gripped the armrests of her seat. Chuck, who sat beside her, slowly caressed her hand.

"It's okay, baby," he tried to comfort her.

"What do you know, Bass? This plane could fall right from the sky in the next minute. And besides I told you not to call me baby! You brought me here, so it's your fault if we all die. Now shut up and leave me alone," Blair hissed.

Chuck turned around and saw that Dorota, who sat two rows behind them, had her ear plugs of her MP3-player in her ears and couldn't hear a thing.

"Blair, I know what you doing. And I'm going to tell you this once and for all, it won't help. You can't push me away. I'm not as dumb as Serena. I know you think it's going to be easier this way, but it won't be. In fact, I don't want to make this easy at all for you. You can't lose me as much as I can't lose you."

Blair eyed him slowly.

"It's not a decision only for you to make. It's my life. You can't make me do anything."

"That's right. But I'm still here, and you are still here and we still love each other. I know that this isn't what you want – no, that's what you pretend not to want. But I know better and so do you. The only thing sad about it is, I'm still not sure how we can fix this. But I will - we will, Blair. Remember that promise you gave me in Yale the night before that big exam? I'll hold it against you."

(Flashback)

"Chuck! Chuck, I will fail. What then, Chuck?" Blair panicked. Tomorrow was her first big test and for the first time in his life he saw Blair being afraid of something so trivial to him.

"Calm down, honey. You won't fail. I know you'll do excellent," Chuck tried to calm her.

"No, Chuck! I won't!" Blair almost yelled at him. Tears were watering up her eyes. She didn't play the panic attack well.

"Blair, come here," Chuck said as he pulled her into her arms and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes for a second and allowed him to hold her tightly.

"Chuck I'm so not in the mood right now!"Blair merely snapped at him a second later as he started to caress the small of her back. He chuckled softly. Blair felt offended and tried to pull back immediately but Chuck didn't let her.

"Let go of me, Chuck!" Blair shouted and Chuck let his arms drop.

"Blair," he held up his hand for her to take. She hesitated for a second before she gently took it. "I want you to close your eyes," Chuck said.

"Chuck!" Blair sighed. The last thing she wanted to do right now was play some kind of mind-game with him.

"Will you shut up for once and do as I say, please?" Chuck commanded. Blair sighed, but nodded and did as told.

"I want you to imagine this: The Waldorf penthouse, you, me, and a lot of diplomas on the wall. The dining room is lit with candles and a wonderful Thanksgiving Dinner is on the table. Everyone is there. This includes your mom who is proud of her smart daughter, your dad who's so proud that he wants copies to hang up in his living room wall in France, Cyrus, and Serena and Nate and Roman….everyone. Even I and our beautiful children are there," Chuck told her.

Blair eyes shot open, "You and OUR CHILDREN?"

Chuck nodded.

"Blair I love you so much. I know you can do this. And I know that's what our future will be. I believe in you and please, do me a favor and have a little faith in you too. Can you do that for me, love?"

Two tears streamed down her pale cheeks before she threw herself into his arms and clutched at him for dear life.

"Thank you, Chuck. Thank you so much. I love you too. I will always love you and I want that for our future too. And I will do all I can to make it happen, I promise, Chuck," Blair sobbed into his shirt.

"I take your word for it, Blair," Chuck whispered in return. He never was surer about something in his life.

"You can. I'm a woman of my word!" Blair declared before she went over to him, sat on his lap, and let him comfort her. Afterwards they read her notes once more before they went to bed. Chuck even cancelled his appointments on the next day to wait for her at the dorms. She beamed when she got back. She told him that she felt good about it.

When the results came, Blair got a 105%, and became a legend as the first student who managed to get that a grade over 100% in this subject by this professor in Yale's history.

"That was something I said in a moment of emotional insanity. You can't hold that against me, Chuck," Blair said as she shook her head.

"I do and I will, though," Chuck returned.

"Well, that's your problem then," she muttered.

For the rest of the flight, both of them wondered when everything got so messed up. Chuck knew that the moment he got her into Yale (thanks to grandpa Vanderbilt) it would be hard to do his job at Bass Industries and manage that distance relationship with Blair, but he always knew that their love would survive anything. At least he believed that until the day she came back. Although he saw her at least a week in a month, even in the very busy months, she had changed when she came back. While Chuck had grown up on the responsibility level, he was still Chuck Bass. Smirking, scotch loving, charming gentlemen – he just dropped the womanizer part for Blair.

Blair on the other hand had grown up a lot and different. Although she found new friends at Yale and still was best friend with Serena, the loneliness she felt at times marked her. She went away as the scheming, spoiled girl and came back as the ambitioned, young adult who was suddenly down-to-earth. She was a lot more serious and focused on her career.

Although Chuck thought it would go away when she was around him long enough again, he knew that Blair Waldorf wasn't one to make steps backwards. And he was right, nothing changed. This cognizance hit him one day when the two of them walked through Central Park.

Blair and Chuck walked to her favorite spot by the pond in Central Park to feed the ducks. On their way they passed a group of children, three boys and a girl. All of them were about the age of six. The boys picked on the girl. Blair slowed down a bit to watch the scenario and Chuck wondered when he ever saw Blair Waldorf caring about strange people. When the boys pushed the girl and she dropped her ice cream on her sundress and started crying, Blair marched over and yelled at the boys who were harmed for the rest of their life afterwards for sure. Blair helped the girl to clean the dress as best she could and then bought her a new ice cream. When the girl thanked Blair for the hundredth time, she just chuckled and shooed her away. Of course not before giving her some tips on how to handle annoying boys. Chuck was amazed for exactly thirty seconds about then he got sad was the moment he knew nothing would go back to the way it was.

When Chuck started to take a bit of distance to get an image at the new situation and to figure out how to handle it, Blair thought she wasn't good enough for him anymore and pulled back from him. The space between them got bigger and bigger until it was unbearable. And it was that situation they were stuck in now.


As soon as they arrived at the house, Blair and Chuck were once more overwhelmed with the beauty of the place. The moment she saw it, Dorota too fell in love with it. Chuck's mom got the house as a gift from Bart and Chuck inherited it when she died. The first time they visited it, Chuck knew he'd never sell this place.

The house was a pretty one. It was in L-form, orange painted, new windows with white frames, and a pretty white front door. The house was surrounded with a 6 foot tall wall which was also painted orange. Behind the house was a garden. Nearly as big as a lacrosse field and was surrounded with flower bushes in front of the wall, mostly yellow roses. The grass of the garden as perfect trimmed. On the backside of the house was a large terrace with an arbor. On the arbor hang lampions. It was a really pretty place.

And the inside was gorgeous as well. The yellow painted hallway had terracotta colored flagging. The flagging was the same on the whole floor. On the left was a huge, light living room with two old white sofas and an armchair. One wall was covered with bookshelves full of books. In another corner stood and a very old TV. The room looked like it had been imported straight from the eighty's. On the right was a large kitchen, completely white with pastel green walls.

They went upstairs to put the luggage down. The staircase separated the upper floor in two sides. Just like the downstairs floor, the flagging covered the whole ground. But this flagging was shiny white. On the left there were a small bedroom with pastel green walls (just like the kitchen) and a normal one bed made of dark colored wood with the fitting cupboard. A little desk next to the window completed the room. Just like all windows on the second floor it had windows from the ceiling to the ground and penetrated with little white frames. Just like the old cottages in the South States sometimes still had.

The next room was a bathroom with a douche, a tub, and two sinks. All of it decorated in white. The next was a bedroom for two people. The walls were painted pastel violet and the furniture (king size bed, cupboard, desk, vanity) was white. On the other site was a bathroom, just like the other one, and another bedroom for two. Through the L-form of the house there was only space for two rooms on this side. The last bedroom was painted in a light blue and the furniture (a king-size bed, two small cupboards on each side, a desk and a vanity) were made of mahogany wood. Blair fell in love with this room the last time they were there.

"Well, Dorota I suggest you take the one bed room. I will take the purple room so…."Chuck started. Dorota nodded and went in the room but Blair interrupted him.

"How fitting!" Blair smirked.

"….so that you can take the room you love so much, Blair," Chuck ended his little speech.

"Alone?" she gulped. She was confused for a moment. But it was part of Chuck's master plan.

"Yeah, I mean that's what you want, right?" Chuck played innocent and he was good at that. Blair furrowed her brow, but nodded.


When Blair finished unpacking her suitcases she went downstairs to look for Chuck. He sat in the living room, the box Bart gave him on his lap.

"Did you figure out what is in it by now?" Blair asked.

"Not yet. I just sent a message to my father that we're here now and that I need the code and the instructions what to do with it," Chuck replied.

"Okay," she nodded and turned around. Dorota was cooking in the kitchen. She walked over to her.

"Do you like it here, Dorota?" Blair asked nicely. Dorota met her gaze and nodded.

"What's up with you and Mr. Chuck?"

A sixteen-year old Blair Waldorf would have yelled Dorota to the ground for asking this, but the after-Yale Blair sighed and shook her head and let her eyes wander to the floor.

"I don't know."

"You still love him, Miss Blair?" Dorota asked slowly. Blair looked up again and nodded.

"Then you'll find a way. You always did and Mr. Chuck one of the good guys. At least for you," Dorota chuckled and Blair laughed softly.

Chuck joined them in the kitchen a few seconds later. His curiosity was his one habit, Blair was sure would never die.

"Someone is in a good mood today," he declared.

"Obviously," Blair nodded.

"Dorota, how long do you need to finish dinner?" Chuck asked.

"Half an hour, Mr. Chuck," Dorota replied.

"Okay, Blair would you join me on a walk through the garden?" Chuck looked at her hopefully. Blair sighed and nodded in return.


Blair slowly walked beside him towards the arbor and the garden swing beside it. She sat down and Chuck joined her.

"You know, I probably told you this before. But I love this garden. Your mother had an amazing taste, although I wouldn't have planted so many yellow rose bushes," Blair broke the silence.

"They were her favorites. And yes, mom had a wonderful taste," Chuck nodded. Blair gave him a curious look. Chuck met her eyes and furrowed his brow.

"What's so interesting?" Chuck asked with a confused.

"You never called her Mom before," Blair returned nonchalant.

"I don't know," Chuck shrugged, "Every time I come back to this house, I feel so much more connected with her. It's like she's here. I know that's stupid though," his eyes fell to the ground.

Blair felt her heart ache at the adorable, but bittersweet sight of Chuck. The vulnerable, completely honest, and outgoing Chuck only she knew. She moved closer to him and snuggled into his chest. He was first a bit confused, but held her tight the next moment.

"How about a visit to José's bar later?" Chuck suggested.

Blair lifted her head to face him.

"Yeah, I bet he missed us," she smirked and he nodded.


A/N: You see? There are reasons behind Blair's behaviour. Please review, it would be a very nice xmas-gesture!