The wind is heavy with moisture today and the summer sun is beating down relentlessly. I had to forgo my father's hunting jacket so I won't pass out while in the woods. Instead I wear a dark long sleeve shirt, to ensure I blend in. The animals are scurrying around more today; I guess I'm not the only one loathing this heat. I look up to my left and see a fat squirrel climbing up a tree; I aim my arrow and release. It falls to the ground with an arrow lodged in its neck, dead. I remove the arrow, stuff him into my game bag and head to the lake.
Judging by the heat, a swim would be nice. I strip off all of my clothes and inch my way into the cool water as goose bumps crawl up my body. I make my way to the middle of the lake and float on my back. I look up to the sky, and my mind begins to wander. For some reason the silence is becoming unnerving.
Peeta. What have I done to deserve him? Long gone are the days during our first Games where I was surely convinced he was set on my death. Now I know that's the last thing he would ever want. It's funny the way things came to be. He was right all along, his name being picked out of that glass ball in the Reaping almost two years ago was a real bit of luck. A world where Peeta doesn't exist isn't a complete world to me.
I do love Peeta, even if I hadn't been aware of it before, I surely am now. I think I have loved him for a long time but had been so blinded by more important things, like trying to keep him alive during the Quarter Quell and the War between the Capitol and District 13. Gale seemed so right for me for so long, but his hatred and fury and disregard for human life was surely one of the things that lead to my sister dying, even if he hadn't killed her himself. I was right in my decision. He was right, too. I'll never be able to shake the connection between his parachutes and Prim being turned into a torch.
There are a few more things that Gale represents- fire, anger, hatred, rage. I have plenty of all those on my own, and I can't have someone who is the same. What would that bring? Surely nothing good for reconstructing this damaged world. Peeta counteracts those qualities of mine, tames them, making for a harmonious partnership. But what exactly is Peeta to me? My boyfriend? I've never had one of those before. What do you do with them, hold hands and kiss and announce your love to the world? After a public love affair in front of all of Panem, it seems silly in comparison. I know he will be more than willing to go along with my pace of things.
Wait, what was that?
Something is not right, and my instincts are screaming at me to flee. I get off my back and look over to where I left my belongings. It's hard to miss the huge black bear rummaging through my game bag.
It's not the first time I've run into a bear. I'm at a clear disadvantage, my clothes, game bag and my bow and arrows are not at my side- and I'm naked. There's another thought that comes to mind- if I kill this bear and somehow find a way to get it into town, it will feed most, if not all of the District for a few days. I have to think fast because it catches sight of me and starts walking over, getting its front paws in the water.
There are a few fish that swim in the lake; I have felt a few swim by my feet even today. I hold my breath and dive under the water, finding a fairly decent sized bass on the muddy bottom, I grab it and come to the surface. I hold the fish tight enough that I feel my hand crush whatever skeletal structure it has, and throw it a good 30 yards towards the end of the lake. The bear catches sight of the fish and runs after it, and I swim myself to shore just like how I did in the Quarter Quell- there's no time to waste. I act or get mauled to death.
I am throwing on my pants and boots while watching, trying my hardest to suppress the panic settling within my chest. The bear eats the fish in a matter of seconds and then turns to me again. This time it runs. I'm as stealthy as I can be, grabbing my bow and releasing arrows at random, each hitting the bear. But it doesn't back down, it only gets angrier and begins moving faster. I release another arrow, this time it hits it in the eye. The animal whines and is obviously blinded, but something bizarre happens. It rests for a minute and then runs again, faster than before, clearly angered, but I've already sprinted into the mouth of the woods.
I find a tree that couldn't possibly support a large bear, but will support me for a matter of minutes. I climb up in the nick of time though, because as soon as I reach the last sturdy branch the bear is at the bottom, and already trying to figure out its way up. I'm winded at this point, so I allow myself all of twenty seconds to rest and throw on my sodden shirt. Standing between the 'V' that two branches have formed within the tree, I load my bow again but I've only got two arrows left. The rest are sticking out of the bear. How can it keep moving? I've got to make these last two count, because if I don't, I'll surely be turned into a bloody pulp.
I aim my arrow for the animal's other eye, and release. It has already made its way a few feet up the tree, and when my arrow hits the other eye it falls back and hits the ground. Now that the bear has been completely blinded, do I dare go down the tree and finish him off? At this point, not doing so would be cruel, and I've got people to feed. I grab the knife I keep on my being at all times from the holster in my pants, and jump. Once I get onto the ground I look down at the suffering animal, trying not to feel bad about what I'm doing. I take my knife and slit its throat, this time it doesn't whimper or cry out. It simply bleeds to death, as though welcoming the concept. Within a few moments it ceases to move.
My muscles relax now and I sink to the ground for a moment, because I'm worn out, and because I'm covered in a layer of filth, splattered blood, water and sweat. I wipe off my face and gather my things, and run to the District's meat shop. I tell the owner, a middle aged man with thinning hair and a warm smile named Kelvin about my kill. He knows I won't be able to bring the bear up, so he sends all of his workers to retrieve the beast. I tell them where it is, because it's not too far into the woods where the bear is. I apologize for my arrows in advance and give him the squirrel I shot as well. After, I make my way over to my house in the Victor's Village.
I walk into my house and drop my game bag and bow on the floor, not really caring where they fall. They'll be fine. Making my way into the kitchen I see Peeta, who before I walked in was working on his walnut bread and by the smell of things, had just finished a batch of cheese buns. Once he catches sight of me he runs over and grabs my arms, looking me sternly in the eyes.
"Are you okay? Were you hurt? You look awful, Katniss," he says, his tone lessening in harshness as he finishes his sentence.
"Never better," I say sarcastically and smile at him. I do have to admit, his concern is adorable.
"Do you want something to eat?" he asks me.
My stomach has been growling for a while but I had just taken notice with his words. I nod my head eagerly. He fills up a plate of cheese buns with dill and roasted duck and hands it to me; it's gone before I take another breath.
With a full belly, I walk over to Peeta and give him a genuine hug, making sure to linger a bit. His arms wrap around me. He smells like home. Although I'm visibly disgusting at the moment to anyone with a brain, he kisses my cheek and I feel myself flush. Only he doesn't stop there. He grazes his lips from that spot, down to the corner of my jaw and just onto my neck. His breath is electrifying and I can't contain the slight groan that escapes my lips and the way I hold onto him just a bit tighter than before. But I can't let this go any further, not now, at least. I do my best to move my head and remove myself from this trance, and look up into his eyes. They've turned into a pool of blue, the purest blue you could think of. Like the sky on a clear spring afternoon, or the sea after the waves have calmed down. I reach up to his lips on my toes and kiss him once gently.
"I need to shower," I say, feeling my skin start to crawl with disgust.
"Alright," he says, pecking me on the cheek again.
I take a cool shower, making sure to stay in a bit longer than usual. I wash the layer of sweat and grime from my skin and feel relieved as soon as I do. I can't help but think that today has been very successful, in terms of the cards I was dealt. Battling an animal isn't the same as a human. Death is still something I have a hard time dealing with, but after watching hundreds of thousands of people die during the last two years- who could blame me? I even have a hard time killing spiders now. But I can't forget my place here, can't forget where I fit in. This is what I'm supposed to do. To hunt. People count on me for my findings in the woods.
I dry myself off, leaving my hair to air dry. I dress, and then go downstairs to the kitchen, where Peeta has finally finished his bread.
I don't know what comes over me, but before I can control the words coming out of my mouth, they've already found their way out.
"Teach me how to bake," I say.
He looks at me with astonishment. "Really?"
"Yes, really; what if you're gone one day and I want to make cheese buns?" I say playfully.
He gladly shows me anything I want to know. But I tell him that I want to watch him make the cheese buns. I become entranced at watching him grate the cheese- he says it's called Cheddar. I don't really care what it is; all I know is that it's delicious. He has me pick the dill leaves while he weighs out the flour, yeast and water, showing me how to use the scale and the careful hand needed to mix all of the ingredients. He tells me if I over mix them, the bread will be heavy and dense. After mixing, proofing, kneading, cutting small portions off and weighing each on the scale, he places them all on a tray to be baked. Lastly, he has me put a pinch of cheese and a little dill on each one, and he puts them in the oven.
"That is entirely too tedious for me," I say, feeling mentally exhausted.
"That's why I do the baking around here," he says with a smile.
I'm so happy, learning what Peeta loves to do, and at least giving it a shot. I don't think I'll be baking anymore. I'll gladly stick to hunting.
That evening we sit on the couch eating cheese buns and drinking herbal iced tea. I watch as Peeta sketches the meadow we came across a few days ago. But before I know it I'm dozing off, the events of the day have taken their toll on me. I come to for a moment, realizing that Peeta is carrying me up the stairs to the bedroom, and nuzzle into his chest.
I sleep without any nightmares.
