So Close, Yet so Far Away

So I don't know what to make of these last couple of days.

I don't know what to do about Maja.

We have been arguing every single fucking day.

She goes back and forth between trying to keep me and telling me how horrible I am.

I fucked up.

Like I majorly fucked up.

We were on the phone and she was crying and yelling at me how much she loves me and how I don't give a shit about her. So I fucking panicked and said I loved her too. Which I don't even know if I do… I mean I was definitely falling for her, like she can be really cute, but then she pulls all kinds of shit.

I said I love you to someone for the first time and I don't even mean it…great. Life goals over here.

I was so sure about breaking up with her and then I had to put that fucking rope around my neck. Fucking great.

Now Maja won't stop sending me cute stuff and such, so I can't break up with her without feeling like a total ass.

Buzz Buzz

Maja: Aww you're cute. Can I keep you?

Buzz Buzz

Maja: The truth is, if I could be with anyone, I'd still choose you.

Buzz Buzz

Maja: I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart.

Buzz Buzz

Maja: You're in my inappropriate thoughts.

Buzz Buzz

Maja: I want to cuddle with you right now, just lay in bed with you and cuddle all day.

See what I mean! Ugh, fuck my life.

Buddha, God, Baby Jesus! Save me, please! I promise I'll stop playing pranks on Bubba with Marshall!

Just for your info, Bubba and Marshall are my cousins. They're pretty much like brothers to me, grew up with them and Simon (I'll tell you more about him some other time) while my parents traveled for work. Like they couldn't be any more different. Marshall is really into music, hates school and doesn't excel at it at all, gets in trouble more times than anyone else and is great at sports; Bubba on the other hand has a very close relationship with books haha he studies like there is no tomorrow, straight A+ kid all his life and the only sport he is ever willing to play is tennis. I could also swear Bubba is gay, my gaydar goes off whenever I'm near him. Just the way he is and his mannerisms, it throws me off. Oh and in our free time Marshall and I play pranks on Bubba, he just makes it too easy and his reactions are always priceless. We can't help it haha

Buzz Buzz

Kash: Hello there, mexican friend. :3

Me: Hey there White boy

Kash: Haha, starting the conversation right. We should go to the movies and watch World War Z! haha

Me: Sorry dude, already watched it, we were suppose to watch The Wolverine but we were late so we watched WWZ instead :/

Kash: Oh, I didn't wanna go or anything! x) so was WWZ good?

Me: Yeah pretty good! It was like a dream I had like 3 days before watching the movie hahaha

Kash: I hardly believe that. x)

Me: Except my dream ended with me shooting myself in the head cause I had given up and was surrounded by zombies after seeing this girl that I had fallen in love with get devoured

Kash: ohgawsh why are you so lesbian hahahaha

Me: All the Guys were death ;) jk I'm just you know… gay haha

Kash: You should at least hook up with guys in your dreams, I know you want to

Me: Umm the last two men in my dream were one of my cousins, gross haha can't hook up with family and this huge black guy who I killed myself and no… I happen to not want to, that's what you want me to want

Kash: Why did you kill him?!

Me: He tried to kill me so I cut off his head with a blade

Kash: with a blade. Damn girl. Are you dreams that real? O:

Me: So much gore in my dream, so scary and stuff, I wanted to just die the whole time. Yup really realistic.

Kash: ewwww

Me: Most of the time they're scary. And I usually end up dying haha

Kash: That's not a good sign. x)

Me: Yeah haha once, I got stabbed like 20 times and when I woke up I still felt pain and the first thing I did was check if I had any scars or anything from the stabbing

Kash: That's not good :O

Me: Haha yeah that shit hurt haha I was fighting a gangster while we were sitting next to eachother in a car

Kash: That doesn't even make sense. x)

Me: Hey, It's a long dream haha I get really long vivid dreams

I don't get scared easily, one of those reasons being that I've always had dreams that scare the living shit out of me. So compare to that, reality really ain't scary at all. I mean, when you've been tortured and killed pretty much every single way imaginable in your dreams and seen the people that mattered most to you catch on fire, not much fazes you.

What the…

What is this?

Friend Request Notification

Brah I got all the friends I need. Whoever you are, you're out of luck bud-

Bubblegum Valentine

Bubb… bubb…Bonnie?

I… Bonnie… BONNIE?!

BONNIE!

What is this?! God, Buddha, Baby Jesus… did you hear my prayers?

*tear*

Wait what the fuck. Why did she add me?

Me: Dude your Japanese beauty sent me a friend request haha

Kash: She went to SVMS. She knows you x)

Me: Oh.. right

That's true… I had forgotten. How the fuck do I forget something so important?!

Kash: Fuckin' weirdo. Haha

Me: It's just random that she's adding me now you know haha

Kash: Oh, I talked about you.

You what?... . .

Me: Oh makes sense haha What kind of lies did you tell her about me ?

Kash: Very terrible lies. ;) "but yes, she's a cutie. haha. She also has this accent that's adorable. I only think of her a friend now since she's told me so much of her shit. x) don't worry, you won't have her stealing me. Hahahahaha" That's what I told her after I said your name and she said you were very pretty.

She thinks I'm very pretty 3 what the fuck? Am I blushing?

Me: Aww you are both liars hahaha

Kash: BOTH OF US? Hahaha

Me: Hahaha kidding, just you old bud ;)

Kash: And after that, we pretty much flirted a whole bunch just like, a lot.

Oh… did you? I hope you burn your fingers while trying to make a grilled sandwich… Let's see if you can keep flirting online like that you ass… Wait what? Snap out of it Abadeer.

Me: Nice dude

Yeah…nice…

Kash: Thank you very much!

Me: I'm noticing a pattern haha You're into foreigners old sport

Kash: Well, white girls are boooooooooring and I hate America and Americans.

Me: So... You hate yourself?

Kash: I'm Irish. It's different. I came in the 1800's and 1900's.I'm talking about like original colonist white, like Puritan white. like THAT kid

*sends photo of mean looking little white boy with overweight and shirt that says 'merica*

Me: Wow

Kash: If I met that kid, I would suddenly not be against child abuse because I would punch him so hard that it would hit his parents. in their trailer park. and it would hit their trailer and knock it over. and kill them and then the kid would cry and I wouldn't even care.

Me: Wow and you thought Maja was violent haha you're fucked up haha

Kash: Hahaha. x) JUST FAT WHITE KIDS. Fat asian kids are ADORABLE.

Me: Don't worry, I know a great psychiatrist that can give you the help you need.

Kash: I LOVE KIDS MISS. All of them. I just don't like fat white kids

Me: then you don't like all kids, sir

Kash: oh. Well, 95% of them.

Me: gotcha, so what are you doing awake so early btw?

Kash: I haven't gone to bed yet. I've literally been talking to Bubblegum all night.

Whut.

Me: Wow haha damn. Are you tired?

Kash: Not really

I hope you get really fucking sleepy out of nowhere, old sport…

Me: Really? Haha did you drink any coffee at least?

Kash: I don't drink coffee. Never have. .-.

Me: There's something really wrong with you. Coffee is like my main drug. Favorite addiction

Kash: It's the healthiest addiction you can have.

Me: Or water

Kash: Or heroine

Me: .. Heroine is a healthy addiction? Haha

Kash: no no it's not don't do dat das bad

Me: Yeah I'm sticking to coffee and alcohol

Kash: both of those are bad.

Me: What is wrong with you? Those things are heaven.

Kash: No, Mexican food is a gift from heaven. x)

Me: Yeahhh

Kash: How dare you blaspheme Mexican food?

Me: Sorry after years of eating Mexican food you kinda don't really love it you know

Kash: Oh. You're desensitized.

Me: Yup yup

Kash: Too bad for you. /3

Me: Yeah, tragic

Kash: I'll cry for you.

Me: Thank you... That's greatly appreciated. Anyways how's life?

Kash: It's great! Bubblegum is GREAT with words, by the way. You should hear what she says to me.

Bubblegum this, Bubblegum that. Fuck you dude. I don't wanna hear shit about it.

Me: Oh yeah? Like what?

Curiosity got the best of me…

Kash: "it wouldn't be plausible to limit you to one compliment but then again, to give you all you deserve wouldn't be a very logical or possible to take years to touch even the surface of the encyclopedia of compliments I could offer you." A few grammar errors because she's on mobile. but still, she's sweet. 3 and she's very smart. ^-^

Yeah…

Me: Yep like I said, that's pretty hard to find nowadays haha

Kash: WASN'T THAT CUTE?! I never get any compliments like that. eep. she's a cutie. 3

Yeah... She sure is…

Me: Yeah it was

Kash: yes yes yes

Me: Haha good for you old bud

Kash: I can't wait when she's not 14 hours ahead of my time. x) She comes back tomorrow, then I'll be able to return to my regular sleep schedule.

I swear… If you don't shut up about her already… I will fuck you up.

Me: yeah that would be great

Kash: so what's up with chu, guuurl.

Thank the Lord.

Me: Nothing just cleaning

Kash: Oh that sucks. O:

Me: Yup Yup

Oh dude I forgot!

Me: WATCH THE WOLVERINE WITH BUBBLEGUM!

Kash: Why?

Me: It all takes places in Japan haha You could be like, Bubblegum I'm your wolverine haha

Kash: Ohmygawd no.

Me: you should, you'll learn some Japanese stuff

Kash: Hmm I'll keep it in mind

Me: Hey I gotta go, got stuff to take care of, bye

Kash: Oh okay, just leave me…bitch

Yeah, you talk to me like that, I am not replying.

Friend request huh?

She sent me a friend request…

So you want to be friends, Bonnie?

I should check out her Facebook, I mean she seems to already know who I am and such, I might as well know what's up with her.

Ah Fak.

This was a bad idea. Such a fucking bad idea. No bueno.

How is she like a million times cuter now?

What even?

Ah shit.

She's like…she looks perfect in every photo.

Buddha, are you shitting me? Why u do dis to me!?

Am I…why the fuck am I blushing?

This is dangerous.

You are dangerous.

You are a trap to see if I can stay faithful to Maja.

Ahh swiper no swiping, swiper no swiping

Oh man.

Stay strong Abedeer! Stay strong you fucktard!

I CAN DO THIS!

August 5th 2013

I can't do this.

Friend Requests:

Bubblegum Valentine

Accept

Welcome to my life, Bonnie.

Chapter 4 = Completed.

Hope you guys liked this chapter, sorry it took so long to upload been busy. Let me know what you guys think on the comments! That's the only way that I know whether you guys are liking this at all and it makes me feel like I need to update soon, peer pressure you know, lovely thing.

Questions on anything, comments or suggestions, send them my way.

PBL out suckers.