Hey everyone thanks for reviewing, it always makes my day. Glad you are enjoying it too, I aim to please. A lot of you are mentioning thoughtcrimes. The initial idea did come from that, couldn't resist doing spiderman theme tune in sheps head as I figured he was the sort of guy – secret geek – who might have comic book tunes in his head.
But beyond that its me and not a direct take from the film. Just wanted to clear that up. (Shep and Brendan Dean, very similar characters also)
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Beckett paced back and forth, "So he claims he can hear peoples thoughts" he said glancing over to the infirmary bed where Sheppard had awakened not so long ago and was talking to an unconscious man beside him.
Weir followed his gaze, "Yes"
"Ive found nothing that indicated anything unusual" said Beckett, "But im still waiting on a cat scan so there maybe something yet. It just seems impossible" he shook his head.
Weir smiled, "Impossible?" she questioned.
Beckett smiled, "Yes I realise we are in another galaxy in a city which was previously under the water," he paused, " Using technology beyond our understanding and that there are wraiths who can suck the life out of you with their hands" he laughed a little.
They walked over to Sheppard's bed and he was smiling but looked heavily drawn and tired, "No way man, when you wake up ill take you out for an Athosian beer" he was saying and hooked his thumb in the direction of the man, "I can hear his thoughts" he said looking pleased with himself.
Beckett looked at him disbelieving,. "He's in a coma"
"You don't believe me" said Sheppard looking at his face, "You think im crazy?" he laughed, "Look officer Jenson here was helping some people on mx453 and he pressed a device" he looked over at the man and was obviously listening to something, "Apparently if you go back and press it, it will wake him up" he opened up his hands "Id suggest sending a team out there as soon as possible"
"We'll uh look into it" said Beckett glancing at the man in the coma.
"He can hear you, you know" said Sheppard breathing out heavily.
Beckett turned as a man came along and handed him a sheet of paper, "The results from your cat scan..interesting" elevated dopamine levels, increased activity on the right side of the brain.
"Elevated dopamine levels and increased activity on the right hand side of the brain" he smiled.
Weir arched an eyebrow.
"Okay yes, I get it" said Beckett shaking his head, "So how long have you been able to do this?"
"Since I got back" said Sheppard biting his lip.
"So you've been reading our thoughts all this time?" asked Weir.
"well…yeah" said Sheppard swallowing and looking appropriately guilty. "I didn't realise at first" said Sheppard meeting her eyes, "But I soon figured it out. Answering questions before they had been asked was a big clue"
"So the spell in the gateroom when you got in? That wasn't a migraine" said Beckett looking offended. Why are my patients always lying to me? Especially the Major.
Sheppard looked ashamed, "No" he said rubbing at his head. "But I did used to get migraines" he offered, "That's true enough"
"I'll add it to your file" said Beckett.
"You should have told us" said Weir angrily. He doesn't trust me.. I cant believe this. He heard everything?
"Not everything…I" he realised his error too late.
"So how did this happen?" asked Beckett.
"Just before Jaro died. He grabbed me and told me to pass on his gift. I didn't realise what he meant at first" Sheppard cleared his throat. "Lately ive not been able to stop the thoughts coming into my head. Before if I looked at someone I could hear….everything" he swallowed hard, "But now, I hear everything and everyone" As if on cue, a few random thoughts seemed to siphon into his mind and he bought his hand up to massage his head.
"Are you okay?" asked Beckett taking a step forward and grabbing at his shoulder.
Sheppard nodded rested his hand in his lap, "Just a few thoughts, slipping through" he managed before becoming distracted again.
Beckett took out his penlight and shone it into the Majors eyes, instructing him to follow the light. Sheppard co-operated without a word.
"Your reactions seem to be slow" he said returning the penlight to his pocket. Perhaps his brain chemistry is being affected by his ability to read minds. I'll have to look into that.
Sheppard nodded listlessly, "The thoughts come in waves." He said rubbing at his eyes, "Im finding it hard to concentrate"
"Understandable" said Beckett.
Weir who had been silent throughout their exchange, gave Sheppard a look and then turned to Beckett, "So how do we proceed?"
"Well there's nothing physically wrong with the Major. His headaches and nosebleeds are most likely subject to the ability he has acquired. Best I can do is give him some Tylenol, when the pain starts" he shrugged, "That is until we figure out what to do"
Sheppard began to get off the bed, "Jaro said something about the temple, perhaps, his people are there, or there's someway of getting this, whatever it is out of my head" he rubbed his hands together, "Doctor Weir?" he looked up at her, but she was off somewhere else. She looked at him as if she could feel him reading her thoughts. "So now you want to stop reading thoughts?" she questioned. This struck Sheppard as strange, but he realised too late that he had hurt her feelings.
Sheppard nodded, "I admit I got carried away with all of this"
"And medically its putting an enormous amount of strain on the brains process centres" said Beckett looking at Weir.
He's going to read our minds and invade our privacy regardless of where he is in Atlantis.
"I promise I will try not to" Sheppard sighed and put his head in his hands. Weir just raised an eyebrow as if to say, 'I told you so' and turned around to leave.
"Elizabeth!" Sheppard called as he jumped off the bed and went to follow.
Beckett grabbed at his arm and stopped him, "Not just yet"
"She pissed off" said Sheppard looking down at the floor.
"She uncomfortable with you being able to read her mind" said Beckett ushering him back to the bed, " And I have to say, I'm not too comfortable with that fact myself"
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Sheppard had been given the all clear by Beckett and was now stood outside Weirs office, pacing back and forth, trying to assemble a coherent sentence in his mind. It was still difficult to faze everything out of his head, everything still sounded so mute.
He finally knocked on her door and waited for the terse reply to enter.
Weir was sat behind her desk and locked her hands, "You realise you were pacing outside a glass door?" she asked looking down at her desk and avoiding his gaze. Don't think, don't think, he's heard your innermost thoughts, if only I could remember what I've thought over the past day. If there has been anything inappropriate, its because you're lonely at the moment, and any male would have you thinking things that…..shut up Elizabeth Weir. You are a strong woman and you do not have to explain yourself.
Sheppard sat down in front of her, "Look im sorry about…my intrusion"
"Are you talking about now or all the other times?" asked Weir.
Sheppard swallowed, "If its any consolation, I did, do feel bad about it" he licked his lips, "Real bad" and smiled.
Weir shook her head, "You're unbelievable" but she managed to smile. "We were all very worried about you. You put your health at risk for a bit of fun"
"Wouldn't you do the same?" asked Sheppard, "If you had the chance to hear what others thought about you"
Weir was silent.
"Oh come on" said Sheppard.
"Okay yes, I can see the appeal" she shook her head. Why lie he can hear your thoughts dummy.
"I really couldn't control it" he said rubbing at a nagging pain in the back of his neck, "The thoughts were just there, and…." He rubbed at his neck again.
"I just worry about what you might have heard me uh think, and…i…."
"Look I wont tell people you secretly lust for Mckay"
"John!" she warned and he put his hands up in mock surrender.
"I'm sorry okay, Im trying to focus else where" he said, "But my thoughts, everyone else's thoughts…it's a mess"
"You should have informed us about this development as soon as you knew about it" she crossed her arms, "Im not going to pretend not be disappointed, as you can hear my thoughts you already know I am"
Sheppard nodded and rubbed at his head again.
"You've listened to peoples private thoughts and emotions and im sure a lot of them aren't going to thank you or be so forgiving for that i-" she paused and saw that the Major was rubbing at his head now, eyes closed. It's a good job at the moment this isn't common knowledge. He'd be ostracized.
Sheppard looked up at could see Weir staring at him strangely, he blinked and tried to concentrate but all he could hear was a thousand thoughts again.
"You're having trouble concentrating aren't you?" she said getting up and walking over to him. She sat on the edge of her desk and placed a hand on his shoulder.
He looked at her vacantly, but still managed to nod, "I just cant seem to block them out" he managed to choke against the pain. "Not anymore. I feel like im losing myself"
"Should I call Beckett?" she asked.
He shook his head, "Wont help" and he felt the steady drip as his nose began to bleed. Weir leapt up and grabbed for a tissue off her desk and passed it to him. He gratefully accepted and tried to staunch the flow of blood. "That's why I came here" he said, his voice muffled through the tissue. "We need to go back to that planet, maybe there's someway of finding a cure for this" he said shrugging, but he winced when he cricked his already painful neck.
Weir was chewing at her lip when she said, "Im not so sure that's a good idea. You said that there were hostiles there" You cant agree to it.
Sheppard smiled briefly at her use of the word hostiles. A word he would use, "Well we managed to get them all. They might have been all that there was."
"And they might not have" said Weir. Elizabeth Weir, did you just use the word hostiles?
He dabbed at his nose, "We know there's a zpm there, that's reason enough and if I happen to get everybody's thoughts out of my head at the same time then that's a bonus" he looked thoughtful for a moment and then let out a small laugh.
Weir gave him a puzzled expression, "Something funny major?"
Sheppard was laughing but his face could not hide the pain he was in.
"Oh no" said Sheppard smiling crookedly,
Weir reached another tissue for him. Must be kind of interesting hearing what people think?
"Im not sure sending you out to a planet in your condition is the right thing to do"
Sheppard's expression changed in a matter of seconds and took the tissue from his nose, inspected it and shoved it in his pocket, "Im fine" he said "See my nose has stopped bleeding"
"You are not fine" said Weir, "And your not going. That's a firm no" Now don't back down. Whatever he says to you, stick to your guns.
"No?" said Sheppard standing up suddenly and kicking his chair back. "Just like that?" he crossed the distance between them.
Weir stared passed him and looked at the fallen chair.
"I couldn't risk it" You are too important for the welfare of Atlantis.
"Welfare of Atlantis?" questioned Sheppard, "That's Becketts domain." He said wiping at his nose.
Weir just stared at him.
"Still a no" he repeated. He stared forward for a moment, seemingly lost in his own mind and then his eyes closed briefly.
"Major, are you okay?" she said touching his shoulder. He flinched away and took a step to the side but he still didn't look at her.
"Stop it" he hissed, his hand flying up to his head.
Im so unhappy, if I could end it all. Sheppard wished he knew who was so unhappy. He felt responsible for every negative thought he heard.
"What?"
"Stop telling me ill be fine" he said and sucked in his breathe, "I…cant.." he began to say but lost his train of thought. He shook his head and attempted to speak again, "I have to go……Im tired of this" he said, his legs were starting to feel weak and he was wishing he hadn't kicked that chair away, "Jaro's people can help me" he pleaded, "Im sure of it"
life is so hard here. This one person, who were they?
Weir just shook her head, "Can you not see you're not fit. Physically and emotionally?"
Sheppard now fixed his eyes on hers and shook his head, "Im fine" he said again. "I can do this" He grabbed her arm, "Im sorry okay that I took advantage, but I don't want to hear this anymore" he said his voice breaking.
"John, tell me whats going on?" she said reaching up to his face and pulling it towards her. His eyes fixed on hers and she wished for a moment of clarity from him.
"I…..its bad enough that I feel responsible for everybody's physical wellbeing here on Atlantis" he faltered and Weir had to wait for what seemed like eternity before he focused on her again and found his voice, "But now I feel responsible for everyone's mental well being too"
"You have to focus" she said, but he was closing his eyes now.
"Somebody is really unhappy here" he said to no one in particular, "I just wish I recognised the voice" he was saying.
"Focus on one string of thoughts" Weir was saying. He was lost to her again. She realised she couldn't help him. "John, go the infirmary" she said as he stared off again, he looked like he was listening to something.
"Shut up!" he cried out all of a sudden and rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes.
Weir was taken aback but soon realised he wasn't talking to her. He was talking to the voices.
She grabbed him by the elbow and started to guide him towards the door, he didn't fight, he just kept his hands at his eyes and groaned. They didn't make it far, as they got to the walkway between her office and the control room he sank to his knees and started to rub at his head again.
"John!" she shouted and grabbed at his face. His eyes were unfocused and he didn't see her, "Beckett get down here now" she called out over the radio and concerned men and women stood around and watched as she tried to control Sheppard. He was in a state, sweating, eyes darting wildly and his hands at his head trying to massage out the pain.
"John" she held his chin and realised he could no longer hear her. "John, focus on my thoughts" she said all of a sudden, "Please, one string of thoughts, keep it simple"
He crumpled further on to the floor and lay back, his legs hitched up to his chest, writhing on the floor and shouting out at the voices in his head. He heard Weirs voice and for a moment tried to follow her thoughts You will be fine, you hear me. We will help you through this, just stay on this line of thought. My line of thought, you will be- He lost her in the sea of voices.
He kept crying, shut up and other colourful expletives but it was apparent that he was gone now. Unable to distinguish what was real or thought.
A moment of lucidity shocked Weir when he grabbed at her wrist and gave her a fleeting look. His eyes momentarily connected with hers and she thought she saw him mouth the word 'please'.
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"Get out! Get out!" cried Sheppard as he held his hands to his head. He was shouting out but Beckett was certain he wasn't aware of it.
Weir was stood at the foot of his bed, face flinched away from the scene it front of her. Over the past year, she had grown close to Sheppard and she was not comfortable with the idea he was in pain.
"Is there nothing you can do to help him?" asked Weir, her arms tightly hugging her waist.
Beckett looked over at Sheppard and shook his head, "He's moving too much to get any equipment on him, pain medication doesn't seem to have worked and hes totally unresponsive" he put his hands on his hips, "Doctor Weir, it would seem that the Major can no longer control the amount of information he takes in"
"Explain" said Weir not taking her eyes off the squirming figure in the bed.
"Before this ability had developed Major Sheppard could control how much he heard by simply concentrating on the individual. It would seem now he has lost that control completely."
Mckay walked into the infirmary and stopped when he saw Sheppard groaning and writhing, "Okay so what's this about mind reading?" he said putting his hands on his hips.
"How did you get in here?" asked Beckett going to push him out, "I told the guard at the door no visitors"
Rodney let out a short laugh, "You might need me for something science related" he said stepping around Beckett. "Oh come on, we were worried about him. I mean some people were….are. Teyla and Ford wanted me to find out his status"
Weir sighed, "He's here now. Let him stay. Major Sheppard was given this ability by Jaro, only hes very quickly been unable to control it" she said.
"He can hear too many thoughts" said Beckett.
Rodney smiled, "This is ridiculous" he started but then his eyes widened, "But it explains a lot. I was working on this equation earlier and he knew the answer. He was reading my thoughts…I knew it" he cried out, "Oh Rodney Mckay is still a genius"
"As relevant as that is Rodney, we need to find a solution" said Weir rubbing her eyes. "Before I tried to get him to concentrate on one line of thought, mine, but he only settled for a minute and then lost it again"
Rodney looked over at Sheppard and scrunched up his face, "He's in pain?"
"Its like a migraine only much worse" said Beckett feeling helpless.
"Like a massive overload of information" said Rodney rubbing his cheek. "We need to get him off this base" he said simply.
"Get out, just shut the fuck up!" screamed Sheppard and Beckett steered them all away from the bed.
"Ive been thinking the same thing myself" he said glancing back at his patient.
Weir looked between the two men, "Am, I missing something?"
"I believe that the only viable option that is left to us now is to get Major Sheppard off this base and to somewhere less populated" said Beckett barely drawing breath, "We know that Jaro's people were at that temple, maybe they have the same ability and if they do they must be able to control this somehow. He needs to go somewhere where there are less thoughts"
"Convert to a simpler mode of operation" said Rodney not taking his eyes off Sheppard.
"He's not a bloody computer" said Beckett sighing.
"You think that's for the best?" asked Weir.
"At this rate he's going to give himself a heart attack. Plus we don't know what effects this 'gift' is having on his brain chemistry. It could cause a catastrophic brain haemorrhage or much worse, it could kill him" said Beckett, his eyes serious.
"I suggest the smallest team possible" said Rodney putting his hand up.
"Okay" said Weir nodding, "I get the picture. But who's going to go with him" she looked around.
"Beckett and I will go" said Rodney even as he said it he saw Beckett's eyes widen.
"Oh no you don't go volunteering me-"
"Beckett can assist medically and I can assist technically. We can get this zpm and get Sheppard sorted. A happy medium I think you'll agree" he said smiling smugly. His smile faded when Sheppard called out again.
Weir looked at the floor, unsure, "This is a bad idea" she said.
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.The voices were constant and unrelenting. Sheppard had never felt so trapped. He could barely fish his own thoughts out from the others and he having a hard time even seeing now.
Sheppard had been listening to the pained voice in the background, the constant screaming and crying out when he had realised with sickening clarity that it was his own voice he could hear.
He realised for the moment that it was all he could hear as the other voices died away and he snapped opened his eyes.
He was no longer on Atlantis. He was sat, his back up against a DHD and he was on a planet he recognised from not so long ago.
"What?" he said rubbing at his eyes and inspecting his clothes. He was fully kitted up in his vest.
"I cannot believe you volunteered me for something again. I tell you, this is the last time this is happening" He could hear Becketts voice, "You take advantage of my good nature"
"Good nature" snorted Rodney.
"Don't you laugh at me" the warning came.
"Hey" shouted Sheppard from his seating position on the ground.
Beckett and Rodney dropped what they were doing and ran over to him.
"What the hell is going on? Where the hell am i?" asked Sheppard all at once.
"Back on the planet, we had to bring you through the gate. How are you feeling?" said Beckett taking out his penlight and shining it at Sheppard's eyes.
He let Beckett do his work even though it was annoying him and co-operated.
"Good" said Beckett. "You're more responsive"
"How long was i…gone for?" asked Sheppard rubbing at his eyes
"Four hours before we shipped you through the gate. We couldn't reach you" said Rodney passing him some water.
Sheppard grabbed at it and drank some whilst getting up. He dropped some of the water and it dribbled down his vest. "Sorry" he said meekly before handing it back to Rodney. His hands were still a little shaky, but he didn't feel overloaded with thoughts.
"Weir agreed to let us go to the Temple" said Becket smiling. I of course was bought here against my will "Stop it" snapped Beckett suddenly.
"What?" asked Sheppard shaking his head.
"Stop reading my thoughts" he said simply. "I know you cant exactly help it, but-"
Sheppard nodded, "I will try not to, okay?"
"Already thought of that" said Rodney reaching into his vest pocket and pulling out some earplugs, "Try those on for size" he said.
Sheppard sighed, but humoured him and put them in. Silence. It was blissful and he risked a small smile.
How they working?
"They are working just fine" said Sheppard. He stopped when he realised that Rodney had not spoken and took the ear plugs out. "They suck" he said simply.
"How are you feeling?" asked Beckett giving him a cursory look up and down.
Sheppard gave him a lopsided grin, "There is good and bad news" he said checking his side holster, "The good news is I cant hear any other thoughts" he paused and then said for dramatic effect, "The bad news, is that I can hear yours and Rodneys thoughts"
Beckett let his smile drop, "Glad to see you're obviously feeling better Major"
Sheppard rubbed at his face, ran a hand through his hair and checked his P90 clipped to his vest before saying, "You ready to move or are we going to stand around here all day?"
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"So where exactly is this temple?" asked Beckett breathing heavily and sagging under the weight of his backpack.
"Not much farther" said Sheppard, although he really had no idea.
"I knew you cheated with that equation" said Rodney suddenly kicking up a bit of dirt as they trudged through a shaded woodland area. Youre an ass.
"What?" said Sheppard. "And remember, I can read your thoughts"
Rodney smiled, "I know"
"Oh please Rodney, not for the millionth time" moaned Beckett.
Rodney turned to him and said, "Shut up would you." Science not voodoo
"Yeah well, it was just a joke" said Sheppard in response to Rodney, "You were along the right lines I just helped you realise it"
Rodney snorted. Helped me along. They were my thoughts in the first place. My lines.
"I just cant believe you managed to keep that sort of thing to yourself" said Rodney kicking up a stone that got in his way. He gave a quick look over his shoulder to check on Beckett and then back to the Major, "Did you find out anything of interest?"
Sheppard grinned as he stepped over a fallen log in the path, "I couldn't possibly know what you're talking about"
Rodney sighed, "Oh come on, I know you must have something"
Sheppard shrugged, "I made a promise not to discuss what I heard"
"Nothing about Kavanagh, Zelenka, did you talk to him? Was he thinking about any particular experiments hes thinking of trying?"
Sheppard gave Rodney a playful shove and dodged a tree, "I didn't spend my day talking to scientists"
"Ah so you spent your day talking to all the hot nurses and trying to find out what people thought of you" Rodney said it as a statement. I should have used him to find out if Anna likes me.
"No, I spent it bugging you" he let out a short laugh and for a moment enjoyed the feeling of freedom in his mind. "Plus Anna is seeing Marwell"
Rodney gave him a look, "I don't like Anna" he said rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. Youre a clever man. Stop lying to the guy that reads thoughts. Uhh hi Sheppard.
Sheppard gave him a look and a little wave. Rodney scowled.
Beckett nearly tripped over and Sheppard grabbed him by his elbow to stop him from falling, "Im going to stay on the base next time. Ive very slowly realised that Off world means walking" he said breathing in and out heavily.
"Well you could do to lose a few pounds" said Rodney reaching into one of his pockets and pulling out a powerbar. "You want some?" he offered it to Beckett.
"Oh no, im on a diet" said Beckett, "Apparently"
"Im just saying-" started Rodney. Im not exactly thin.
"You are saying im fat. I don't care, im my ideal weight" he said patting at his stomach.
"The wraith would take one look at me, look at you and say, wow a buffet!" said Rodney smiling, "They would practically starve on me"
"Don't forget ive seen you naked" said Beckett, he nearly stepped on Sheppard's heel, who had remained quiet throughout their exchanges.
"You're just pissed because you're scared of gate travel" said Rodney dropping the wrapper on the floor.
Beckett bent down to pick it up, "Too right. Its unnatural. I want to know that my molecules will get put together as they were before I stepped through"
"Minus a few pounds" sneered Rodney.
"Oh That's it" said Beckett and he went to hit Rodney. Strong hands separated them and Sheppard stood between them breathing hard.
"Don't make me separate you" he said through gritted teeth. "Its bad enough ive had to listen to you two for the past hour, but ive had to listen to your thoughts as well. And Believe me, they are not much better"
"Hes being rude" said Beckett curling his lip. "I come from Scottish stock, we're" he thought for a better word but couldn't, "Stocky" he said, "Strong" he added, "Good fighters"
"Ginger" laughed Rodney. Beckett struggled at him again and he put his hands up, "okay okay im sorry" he said smiling, "Its only because Sheppard here is so off form its boring. I need to argue with someone"
Sheppard shook his head, "Rodney, shut up and walk. You're giving me a headache"
"Im picking up a reading in that direction" said Rodney pointing, "So we must be getting close"
he is correct
"What?" asked Sheppard spinning around and scanning his friends faces.
"What?" mimicked Rodney, his hand finding its way down to his holster.
"Did anyone just say something?" he asked.
"Can you hear something?" asked Beckett spinning around, "I cant, that's creepy" he said standing closer to Rodney. Rodney shoved him to the side and took a step forward.
They cannot hear me, only you. Your friend is correct, follow the readings and you will find us.
"Okay who is saying that?" asked Sheppard looking up at the sky as if he would find the answer there. Suddenly Beckett was at his side and griping at his shoulder, "Major, are you okay?"
Sheppard looked at her and blinked, "You don't hear that voice?" he asked looking over their faces.
Beckett was already unbuckling his backpack.
"Oh no you don't" said Sheppard backing away from him, "I am not crazy. I heard someone" he said taking a step backwards again. "They said we are close"
"I just want to have a quick check of your vitals"
"Well I don't think that's vital" said Sheppard, "Trust me, im not-" Sheppard didn't get to finish the sentence because he felt himself careering backwards with no way to stop. He hit the ground with his ass and continued to roll down a steep hill. He finally came to a stop and rolled one final time onto his back, spitting out bits of twigs and soil.
"Major! Are you okay" Rodney was shouting and Sheppard was sure he could hear one of them laughing. If one of them wasn't laughing out loud they certainly were inwardly.
He coughed, "Yeah great" he said closing his eyes, "Nice roll down a hill, im set for the day" and he pushed himself up into a sitting position. "Why don't you guys throw yourselves down it too" he suggested
"We're coming down" shouted Beckett from the top of the incline.
He smiled briefly as he watched Beckett and Rodney cling onto each other for dear life as they descended the hill in a backwards crawl fashion.
Sheppard went to stand as he waited for his friends "Hey guys get down here, I think I uh found something" he said looking down at his feet.
tbc
