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FOUR
I was ready to sit by Bella again in Biology, although I didn't get the excuse to, as Edward never showed. In fact, he didn't show up the rest of the week, which I was perfectly fine with. Bloke could've died for all I cared. Unfortunately, Bella appeared to feel dissimilarly. Watching her cast sad eyes over to the Cullen table, only to find it minus her favorite member, was intensely frustrating. What was so interesting about him, anyway, besides the mysterious skin color and eye color and familial arrangement? I'd write it off as Bella liking the bad-boy type if she hadn't told me off for how I spoke to Mike. Maybe she just liked it when guys were mean to her.
We texted on and off over the weekend, mostly about homework, though I took care to ask how she slept, how things were going with Charlie, things of that nature. My parents and I spent Saturday exploring Forks, poking our heads in the small businesses that lined the modest main street, including Newton's Olympic Outfitters, where I stumbled upon Mike Newton behind the counter. He welcomed my family with genuine amiability, slapping my hand and punching my knuckles, even giving my dad %15 off a hiking backpack. The kid did me a lot of favors whether he realized it or not: my parents always worried about me making friends because of how often we move. Now my mom could finally get a full night's sleep.
People greeted me in the parking lot Monday morning. I didn't know all their names, but I waved back and smiled at everyone, knowing full well I wasn't doing a great job of socializing outside of Bella and maybe Alice and Mike. It was the coldest it'd been since I relocated to Forks, and cloudy, but no sign of rain yet. Wind bit at my cheeks and nose.
The bell rang just as I crossed the threshold into my English classroom. I smiled at Mr. Mason apologetically, walking down the aisle and squeezing Bella's shoulder as I sat down at my desk. The teacher designated the entire period as silent reading time because apparently half the class was behind where we were supposed to be in the book. I flipped through the familiar pages, bored. I peeked at Bella and determined she was doing the same thing. After Mr. Mason was preoccupied I snuck out a spiral, tore myself a sheet, and began scribbling a note to the classmate beside me.
'How was your weekend?' I asked, flicking the square onto her copy of Great Expectations.
'Uneventful, I just went to the library. What about you?'
'Walked around Forks with my parents. Stopped by Mike's family's shop.'
'Oh yeah I saw him working there Saturday. The library is nothing special, by the way. I need to make a trip up to Seattle or Olympia and get a library card somewhere up there.'
'Guess I'm not surprised. Thanks for the heads up. Do you mind if I come along? My brain will explode if my reading is restricted to Mr. Mason's selections of the literary classics.'
'That was an invitation you dork.'
"Um no it absolutely wasn't. I'd poll everybody at our lunch table if I didn't know at least one of them would try to invite themselves along.'
She smiled and shook her head as the three chimes sounded which signaled the end of English. When we walked out of class, the air was full of swirling bits of white. The little cotton fluffs were building up along the sidewalk and awnings. People shouted excitedly at each other across the quad.
"Wow," Mike said. "It's snowing."
"Ew," Bella said.
He looked surprised. "You don't like snow?"
"No. That means it's too cold for rain. Besides, I thought it was supposed to come down in flakes —you know, each one unique and all that. These just look like the ends of Q-tips." I snorted at her comparison.
"Haven't you ever seen snow before?" he asked incredulously.
"Sure I have." She paused. "On TV."
Mike and I laughed before a big, squishy ball of dripping snow smacked the back of his head and shut him up. The three of us turned to see where it came from. "Ten bucks it was Yorkie," I said, watching Eric speed walk away with his back toward us.
"That's the wrong direction for his next class," Bella agreed. Mike bent over and began scraping together a pile of the white mush. "I'll see you at lunch, okay, Mike? Once people start throwing wet stuff, I go inside." Mike just nodded, his eyes trained on Eric's retreating figure. I wavered for a moment, weighing spending time with Bella versus the savage satisfaction of a snowball fight. In the end my testosterone got the best of me and I formed a snowball for each hand, taking off after Eric and Mike.
I was dripping with ice water by the time I entered Mr. Jefferson's classroom. Bella nearly screamed when I jokingly leaned in for a hug, fending me off by whacking me with her binder. Mr. Jefferson told us to settle down —bringing back Bella's tomato character from week one— and I apologized and sat down, shaking out my hair like a dog away from Bella and unfortunately all over some kid I didn't know.
"What the fuck, bro?" demanded the black guy with a gap in between his front teeth.
"I'm sorry, man, I wasn't thinking, that was inconsiderate. What's your name, bro?"
"Tyler Crowley," he said, his expression on the fence about me.
I extended my hand. "Jordan Castro, my friend. I apologize again. If I was old enough I'd offer to buy you a beer." He cracked a smile, grabbed my hand in the next moment, and shook it well without breaking my bones like Emmett Cullen.
Mr. Jefferson designed a partner activity making flash cards of the vocabulary terms for the chapter. I turned to ask Bella but somehow Mike beat me to it, so I switched sides and asked Tyler, who somewhat to my surprise said yes. For the first few minutes we worked in relative silence, only grunting when swapping highlighters. However, after a while Tyler's excitable chatter and Bella's growing responses became too grating, so I struck up a conversation.
"Have you lived here your whole life, Tyler?" I asked, not looking up from the work.
"Born and raised," he said. "Where are you from?"
"Los Angeles." I almost stopped there, but Tyler and Bella were laughing together, so I pressed on. "My parents travel around the U.S. and write travel books, take photography they sell to nature magazines and school textbooks, and explore all the major cities."
He glanced up, nodding, impressed. "Do you know how long you'll be in Forks?"
Ah…the taboo subject, I thought sardonically. It's an obvious question for oneself and others to ask anyone with my family's lifestyle. Most of the time it was after all the tourist destinations of the state were experienced, or a lucrative opportunity was presented elsewhere, or one of my parents read a book or watched a movie that gives them the travel bug for some place specific. Forks was a unique choice in that it was small town, a move inspired jointly by my dad reading an article about the benefits of small town living and my mom finishing her assignment teaching a photography class at Santa Monica Community College. "I'm concerned it may be one of my shorter stays because there's, you know, less of everything. I don't mean any offense," I amended quickly, "it's just that I've lived in Manhattan and Vegas and San Francisco… I mean, here's to hoping small town charm will enrapture my parents longer than fast-paced city life, right?"
"Yeah, here's to hoping," Tyler said absently. I wondered if he'd even been listening. We maintained the small talk the rest of the time and at the end voted that I'd take care of the cards until we could finish them during class tomorrow. We slapped hands and bumped fists as he slung his backpack over his shoulder and departed. I wasn't sure if I made a new friend, but I succeeded in ducking an enemy.
When we stepped back outside, mush balls were flying everywhere. Bella kept her binder in her hands, ready to use it as a shield in the blink of an eye, so tense and alert I couldn't help but chuckle. "Don't you dare even think about it, Jordan Castro," she warned in our first few steps, and while I wanted to test my bad boy theory, I voted with preserving my life instead.
Nothing noteworthy occurred in trigonometry, except for Bella initiating a hug afterwards as she went to Spanish and I to gym. This resulted in a semi-permanent grin smeared across my face as I changed out in the locker room and began to stretch on the court.
Coach Clapp insisted Jasper did such a great job leading us yesterday that he simply must do it again today. I mirrored his motions, checking his eyes for his signature suffering. Bingo. I looked away; being somewhat of an empathetic person, it hurt my heart how raw the emotion was. My eyes found Alice, whether by chance or instinct, and in her eyes I saw the persisting guilt. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered if the sentiments were connected.
Today, the agenda consisted of a relay race in five parts, lucky me. I strategically stood next to the Cullens and as Coach segregated teams, she assigned us all together. "How fast is he, Alice?" Emmett asked, jumping in place, warming up presumably.
She glanced at me up and down, sizing me up, causing arousal to flicker below my hips. "Sure, he's fast, but not as fast as us," she said, and the four laughed together. What the hell? I asked myself. Does having pale ass skin and golden eyes somehow make you run faster, too? I laughed a little, at my joke not theirs, and started to jump in place like Emmett to warm up.
"What leg do you guys want me to take?" I asked.
"The first one," Rosalie said quickly. "That way we'll have plenty of time to catch up."
"Haha, you're as quick as I whip!" I exclaimed, stretching my quads. "Let's see if you run as quick as you are to insult."
She turned her nose up at me. "I want the last leg. That way you can see firsthand how fast I am."
"Rosalie…" her blond brother began with a cautionary tone.
"I wanted the last leg!" Emmett demanded.
"Shut up, lover," she said curtly, loping gracefully to her chosen station. Alice selected to go after me, followed by Jasper, then Emmett, and ending of course with primadonna diva. The other teams took a little bit longer to organize, and I spent the time spying on Alice, who stood with her weight on her left, hands folded on her hip. Adorable. She caught me staring at her but brazenly I didn't look away. A smile played on her lips, but I still saw a glint of guilt she was unable to mask in her eyes. Where the fuck is that coming from?! I fumed internally.
Coach Clapp blew her whistle. Fuck, I had NOT been paying attention. I ducked my head and thrust my arms back and forth, my feet moving so fast underneath me that I almost ran myself into the ground and stumbled. I recovered as the rest of the first wave rounded the corner, overtaking the last place runner…and the next…before battling neck and neck with 3rd place during our 2nd turn. I tore my gaze from him to focus on Alice —and I felt my heartrate spike— she definitely gifted me with an extra dose of adrenaline by her delicate face alone. We were seconds behind first when I passed the baton to my crush, our hands grazing…
Goosebumps sprouted over my entire body, mind, and soul. A thrilling chill slowed my heartrate right back down, and time was in slow motion as her ass in those gym shorts bounced away from me. Her hand felt like she'd been holding it under a foot of snow for the past hour, when in reality we'd been in the gym for at least ten or fifteen minutes, and it wasn't altogether that cold in here. "Get out of the way!" someone yelled, knocking me before giving me a chance to move by myself. Normally I might have looked around angrily to see who it was and shove them back, but a moment later Alice and the rest of the 2nd wave ran by, my head pivoting as they passed. She was running a significant fraction slower than in our head-to-head race yesterday. Why could that be? The stick transferred from the pixie to the blond, and Jasper did something similar, picking a pace I was pretty sure was slower than what I witnessed when he and Emmett sprinted, and maintained it for the span of his run. I mean, I guess we were in first place now, but why were they holding back, especially after giving me so much shit? Emmett seemed a bit more competitive on his run, a handful of lengths ahead of second as he exchanged the baton with his girlfriend, who looked pretty pissed for our being in first place. Her annoyed expression stayed on her mug as she pranced through the finish line, her effort somewhere between genuine and restrained, but her pace quicker than anyone else in the entire class. We won by several lengths and Coach Clapp immediately approached Rosalie about joining the track team. The supermodel brushed her off, commenting something to the effect that sports are for lesbians, before ambling over to her bodybuilder boyfriend and kissing him.
Coach Clapp organized the rest of the teams —apparently they were going to relay until there were only two teams left, and as your team won, the coach dismissed the group early. As she announced this, she waved a hand at the five of us, and Emmett and Jasper took off for the locker rooms straight away, hollering about a snowball fight. Rosalie rolled her eyes, folded her arms, and strode with a gait that screamed of her own importance as she disappeared into the women's wing. That left Alice and I, those bright gold eyes sparking at me from her 4'10" height. I smiled at her, half waiting for her to say something. She smiled back.
"Does a snowball fight sound fun to you?" I asked. After demolishing Eric and Mike earlier in the day, the idea of giving Emmett and Jasper the same treatment was tantalizing.
"Maybe," she said, most likely seeing the bloodthirst in my eyes. "Or we could walk really slowly toward the cafeteria and get to know each other." Any excitement for a snow ball fight melted at the chance of one-on-one time with, who was in my opinion, the most attractive member of the Cullen family. We changed in our respective locker rooms before meeting underneath the awning outside. Jasper and Emmett were already in the thick of things, each with a wall of snow to hide behind and a stockpile of ammo to use. I suggested we sit on a bench to watch the brothers and the snowfall; Alice agreed. I shielded my arm with my jacket and cleared the bench of mush for us to sit.
Time passed so strangely when I was in the presence of the pixie-haired girl. All at once, it seemed snowflakes were suspended in mid-air, the only movement her soft lips and the long lashes of her blinking eyes. Yet at the same time, the extra twenty minutes of recreation we were afforded was spent all too quickly. I asked about her family and listened again to the story Jessica told, minus the disapproving tone of voice and scandalous implications. Though it was a family woven together by adoption, I could tell Alice loved all her siblings dearly without discretion. It was an appropriate enough segue as any to ask about what was really on my mind.
"So, tell me about you and Jasper."
She smiled at his name, but it almost seemed a sad smile. The blond peeked over from his barricade as if he could sense the shift in conversation. Emmett took advantage of the distraction and landed a snowball straight to his face, knocking him on his ass. Alice and I laughed together mutedly.
"Well, he and Rosalie joined our family when they were eight. Of course, growing up, it was like living with two of your cousins, not altogether different from my relationships with Emmett and Edward, but still with a layer of unspoken distance that didn't exist with my other siblings. When I turned 16, I was actually grateful for it, because it was around that time that Jasper and I began speaking candidly about our non-platonic feelings toward each other, and had that degree of distance not existed, well I suppose nothing would've ever happened because we would've related like brother and sister. But it was always different for Jasper and I. Rosalie and Emmett too."
I did my best to listen without judgement, but even to someone as worldly and traveled as me, the arrangement was unusual and, for myself, unrelatable. However, no true incest was occurring, and if all the individuals involved were happy and consenting, then it was fine by me. "So you and Jasper have been dating for, what, about a year?"
"Yes, our anniversary is on Valentine's Day," she said, something off in her tone.
"How've things been recently? If you don't mind me asking," I added quickly. "High school relationships can be drama enough as it is, I imagine living with someone would only add to the difficulty."
She was quiet for a time, watching him. "Do you mind if we start walking to the cafeteria? I'm getting a little cold."
"No problem," I said, shrugging out of my jacket and putting the layer underneath around her shoulders, so she wouldn't have to deal with the wet sleeve. Unlike Bella she did not protest and instead pulled it around her frame, hugging herself. For a few paces all that could be heard was ice crunching underfoot. I didn't change the subject in the hopes that I might still get an answer.
The double doors to the cafeteria were unlocked, but it was empty inside, even of the kitchen workers and trays of food. My sneakers squeaked along the linoleum as we passed the table Bella and I sat at, continuing until we reached the Cullens' usual spot.
"Recently, there have been a lot of changes," she said as she lowered herself onto the bench opposite me. A pause, her eyes lost out the window, thinking. "He didn't do anything wrong. He's always so lovely to me." Her eyes met mine. Guilt. "It's just… people talk about when you know, you know, right? Well, I thought I knew, but now… it's like once that seed of doubt is planted, once the rays of hope are shining from the other horizon… what are you supposed to do? Break a good man's heart?"
She buried her face in her hands and in the blink of an eye I was at her side, arms around her shoulders. "Don't cry, Alice," I said, squeezing her, trying to ease the slight shaking of her body. "Time changes things. You don't have to decide anything today. Everything will be alright."
Just then the double doors burst ajar. Two silhouettes stood in the opening, one barrel-chested and the other taller and leaner, recognizably Emmett and Jasper. Jasper disappeared as quickly as he appeared, causing a sob to escape Alice as she buried her face back in her hands. Emmett shoved his way toward us, his features taut. I stood but kept a hand on Alice. I did not want to fight her brother, but I wasn't going to leave her unless she wanted me to, either. "Just go, Jordan," she whimpered, leaning into Emmett's embrace as he sat on the other side of her. I let my hand slip from her shoulder as I obliged, waiting outside the double doors until the bell rang and the entirety of Forks High School converged for the cover of the cafeteria.
"Hey you," Bella greeted as she found me leaning against the building. "Did gym get out early?"
"We're running relay races today. As you win, you get the rest of the period free."
She moaned at the mention of running. I laughed, holding the door open for her as we headed inside. Mike and Jessica filed behind us in line, talking animatedly about the perpetual snow fight going on outside. Sharing the same thought, Bella and I glanced at the Cullen table, and I felt her body freeze beside me. The Hair was back, making five people at their exclusive table, all of them laughing and talking playfully. There was no hint of awkwardness between Alice and Jasper, who held hands in between their trays. To anyone else, it appeared they were enjoying the snow day like regular residents of Forks, only looking more like a scene from a movie than the rest of us. That was just it, though. In that moment, it felt like a table of actors.
I blinked, lost in my own thoughts as Jessica and Mike led Bella and me to our normal seats. Bella at least had the wherewithal to grab a soda. I sat emptyhanded, drumming my fingers against the tabletop, choosing to look at Bella instead of Alice. She stuck her tongue out at me when she noticed. I winked. She rolled her eyes, smiling. Eric and Mike started talking over each other about our match earlier in the day, and I couldn't help but jump in, as they were getting the chronology of the events all wrong. Five minutes later, when tempers had cooled again, I checked back in with Bella, only to find her attention on the table in the corner, centered on one individual in particular. That was when I noticed something different about him. His skin was less pale, I decided —flushed from the snow maybe— and the circles under his eyes much less noticeable. That's it, I realized with a click. His eyes. Somehow they're gold now.
"Bella, what are you staring at?" Jessica intruded. At that precise moment Edward's face turned in our direction. Bella dropped her head but I did nothing of the sort, analyzing his features. He didn't look harsh or hostile like he had the last time I'd seen him. He looked merely curious again, unsatisfied in some way as he— "Edward is staring at you," Jessica giggled.
"He doesn't look angry, does he?" she asked.
"No," she said, confused by the question. "Should he be?"
"I don't think he likes me," she confided. For a moment nausea colored her cheeks and she rested her head on her arm.
"The Cullens don't like anybody…well, they don't notice anybody enough to like them. But he's still staring at you."
"Stop looking at him!" she hissed. Jessica snickered but looked away.
Mike interjected then —he was planning an epic battle of the blizzard in the parking lot after school and wanted us to join. Jessica agreed enthusiastically, leaving little doubt that she would be up for anything he suggested. I RSVP'd as well, hoping a snow ball fight would distract me from the cognitive dissonance I was experiencing. Bella kept silent.
At the conclusion of the lunch hour Bella ushered me out the door —whispering something about Mike being a popular target for snowball snipers— but when we went to the door, everyone besides her groaned in unison. It was raining, washing all traces of the snow away in clear, icy ribbons down the side of the walkway. My disappointment abated a little at the sight of Bella's secret smile underneath her hood. As long as she was happy.
Mike maintained a string of complaints all the way to building four.
Once inside the classroom, I observed Bella's counter was still empty. A civil war raged internally, possessiveness versus respect for her independence. We drew closer and in the split instant I let her decide. She sat in her seat and began to get out her things, while I dithered in the aisle, eyes darting from the seat next to her to my chair in the back. "At lunch, he didn't look as…unfriendly as he did last week," she said without looking up, supposing it was obvious we were speaking about Edward. "I think I'll give him another chance, introduce myself, and be cordial. But if he starts being nasty like before, feel free to step in, okay?"
"Okay," I said. "Will you do me a favor, then?"
"Sure, what is it?"
I stooped to give her a one-armed hug just as the fifth Cullen crossed the threshold. "Ask Edward if he's wearing contact lens." I held her for three or four seconds, until his ass was in his chair, before releasing her and retiring to my alcove at the back of the classroom.
Mr. Banner distributed one microscope and box of slides to each table, giving me a set of my own. The slides were out of order, he explained. Working as partners, everyone needed to separate the slides of onion root tip cells into the phases of mitosis they represented and label them accordingly, without the help of our books. In twenty minutes, he would be coming around to see who had it right. "Get started," he commanded.
"Ladies first, partner?" The Hair asked, crooked smile on his mug. "My name is Edward Cullen, by the way. I didn't get a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."
"H-How do you know my name?" she stammered, virtually star struck.
He laughed a soft, musical laugh. "Oh, I think everyone knows your name."
"No," she persisted, "I meant, why did you call me Bella?"
His brow furrowed with confusion. "Do you prefer Isabella?"
"No, I like Bella," she said. "But I think Charlie — I mean my dad — must call me Isabella behind my back — that's what everyone here seems to know me as."
"Oh." He let it drop. "Well, I could start, if you wish."
"No, I'll go ahead," she said, flushing.
I turned my attention to the task at hand, thankful that being without a lab partner made it easier to eavesdrop. Prophase, anaphase, interphase, prophase, interphase, telophase, anaphase, telophase. The worksheet took ten minutes at most to finish. Afterwards I drifted to my failsafe hobby, people-watching… Edward and Bella were nearly done…Mike and his partner were comparing two slides again and again… and another group had their book open underneath the table. Mr. Banner began making the rounds. He started with me, probably curious as to why I was no longer working.
"Have you done this lab before?" he asked.
A laugh tripped over my lips before I could stop it. "Many times. With onion root, whitefish blastula, among other fast-dividing cells."
The rest of the period the generic small talk Bella exchanged with Eric, Mike, Jessica, myself, and everybody else repeated with Edward a week later. What brought her to Forks? Insert information about Rene, Phil, and eventually Charlie. Edward coincidentally pulls a Jordan Castro and fills in the blanks Bella leaves behind. She backtracks.
"Am I annoying you?" he asked, sounding amused.
"Not exactly. I'm more annoyed at myself. My face is so easy to read — my mother always calls me her open book," she confided, frowning.
"On the contrary, I find you very difficult to read."
"You must be a good reader then."
"Usually."
Mr. Banner illustrated with transparencies on the overhead projector, talking about the details he circled and pointed to with arrows. When the bell rang, Edward rushed as swiftly and graciously from the room as he had last week. Mike beat me to Bella's desk and picked up her books for her, agitating me further. "That was awful," he groaned. "They all looked exactly the same. You're lucky you had Cullen for a partner."
"I didn't have any trouble with it," she snubbed. "I've done the lab before, though," she added, probably to preserve his feelings.
Selfless, bookworm, intuitive, maternal, independent, and I added considerate to her growing list of personality traits.
I was getting to know her.
