hullo loyal readers, id like you all to know that i think the first chapter and a half is badly written, not because its in second person i just thing id need to go back and rewrite the thing cause it sounds dumb. the Benny Ethan stuff is good though, i ain't sick of that yet.

also the chapter name is the name of a song by The Boys, give it a listen if you're up to it i think its stellar.


It's been a week since the incident, Ethan and Benny haven't spoken about it since the night Ethan got drunk and they spilt their guts to each other in the bathroom. Ethan's been regretting interrupting the kiss that was supposed to happen between him and Benny. They've both been pretending that nothing happened and going about everything like usual but Ethan has been trying desperately to initiate the kiss. This was the first time one of his visions hadn't happened, he doesn't know what that means. He wonders if he ruined it. He hopes not, that would crush him.

Ethan and Benny walk home together after school, they have to do research on what could be causing a recent string of disappearances in town.

They go round back, Ethan's parents aren't home. Ethan takes a deep breath, he's decided he's going to do it, today, he's going to kiss him. As he's unlocking the back door he pauses.

"Now is as good a time as ever," Ethan says under his breath."

"What?" Benny asks.

Ethan turns around, "hey so about last week, you know, on movie night, after the girls left, when it was just us."

"Yeah sorry about that I didn't mean to weird you out," Benny blurts.

"No no, hold on let me finish, I had a vision and I saw us, kissing, and it was just really surprising and when you went to do it I just hadn't really processed it yet so I screwed it up. I wanna apologize for that, I actually, I really wanted you to do it," Ethan blushes.

"Oh," Benny says looking a little dumbfounded.

Ethan moves toward him, he stands up on his tiptoes and gently grabs the collar of his shirt. He pulls Benny close to his face and then he kisses him lightly. Benny puts his hands on Ethan's hips awkwardly. They break apart.

"I've wanted to do that for years," Benny smiles averting his eyes.

"Sorry I ruined it the first time," Ethan says apologetically.

"It's fine, I'm just glad you let me do it, I'm glad you gave me your first kiss," Benny replies sheepishly.

"I got yours too didn't I?" Ethan asks a smile spreading across his face.

Benny nods, "can we do it again?"

"Yeah come on," Ethan says. Ethan leads Benny inside and drops his backpack on the floor next to the door. He locks the door behind him and then turns back to Benny. He pulls him close and stands up on his tiptoes to reach his face.

"Wait is Jane home?" Benny asks cautiously.

"No she's at a friend's," Ethan says pulling Benny's shirt collar gently.

"What if she comes home, we wouldn't want her to see us like, making out," Benny says pausing and then whispering the making out part.

"If you want to go to my room then just say it," Ethan says raising an eyebrow.

"No I just-"

"Come on," Ethan says pulling Benny upstairs.

Ethan lightly pushes him down on the bed. Then onto his back and then he kisses him. Then he does it again, more passionately running his hands through Benny's hair and along his face and neck. Ethan feels Benny's hands on him too, gently moving up and down his back. Benny is shaking.

"Benny I uh, I've been thinking about you a lot lately and it's like, like I can't get you outta my head, Benny I like you, like as more than a friend, would you maybe go out with me?" Ethan asks suddenly.

"Uh," Benny stutters.

"Are you like, Hard?" Ethan asks when he shifts his position and his leg brushes Benny's, well you know.

"Ah fuck I'm really sorry," Benny say frantically.

"Hey it's okay, it's-" Ethan starts but Benny pushes him away and rushes for the bathroom slamming the door behind him. He slides down the door coming to rest on the floor, pissed off that he keeps ruining things

"I'm sorry, i didn't mean to make it awkward," Benny says frantically through the door.

"Benny its okay, I mean, what'd you expect was gonna happen?"

"I dunno i just, don't wanna rush it i guess, i , i'm probably overreacting, i don't know what i'm doing, im fucking everything up." He sounds in the verge of tears.

"It's fine dude, but you didn't answer my question, do you wanna go out with me?" Ethan asks again.

There's silence for a second. Then a shaky breath.

"Duh," Benny says calming himself down.

"Cool," Ethan smiles, "so are you still like?"

"Nah," Benny chuckles wiping his nose, "I just thought about having to give Chewbacca a blowjob, all that hair, uhg, always makes me go soft."

"Haha gross why would even think about that in the first place?" Ethan laughs.

"I honestly don't know," Benny laughs.

"So you gonna come out so we can look into that thing for the girls," Ethan asks.

"Yeah sorry," Benny says opening the door. Ethan smiles at him. He still looks kinda weepy.

"Your my boyfriend now," Ethan grins.

"Yeah," Benny smiles back.

"Okay let's do this thing," Ethan says jumping up and sitting down at his computer.

For the next few weeks Ethan and Benny spend every possible second together, holding hands whenever there's nobody they know around, and doing a lot of kissing in the parking lot and in the van that Benny has claimed as his own after they'd taken it from that vampire.

"I'm gonna get like buff dude on like a dragon or something airbrushed on the side, it's gonna be sick" Benny tells everyone when they're driving to Ethan's on Friday.

"Where'd you even get this thing," Sarah asks from the back of the van.

"We took it from the dude that attacked Ethan and me," Benny says.

"Dude you stole a car?" Rory asks looking shocked and impressed.

"I like to think we won it," Ethan says.

"Dude, so cool," Rory grins.

"So my sisters Sleeping over at her friends house tonight and my parents are staying out all weekend too so we got my house to ourselves all night," Ethan tells the van at large.

"Oo does that mean we get to have a party?" Erica says clapping excitedly.

"No definitely not, my parents would find out and they would kill me," Ethan tells her.

"Boo, no fun," Erica whines, "can I at least invite a hot boy to fool around with, over?" Erica asks.

"Maybe, which kinda fooling around are you talking about, normal teenager fooling around or vampire fooling around?"

"Maybe a little bit of both," Erica says fluttering her eyelashes at Ethan.

"No, you can't get blood on stuff in my house, it's too hard to wash out," Ethan says.

"So that means normal teenager fooling around is okay?" Rory asks grinning stupidly.

"Where would you even find someone willing to fool around with you," Benny says.

"Rude," Rory's says, disgruntled.

"Okay can we stop saying fooling around we sound like a bunch of old people, just say bang or smash or screw or something normal," Sarah says sounding kind of annoyed.

"Fine then where would you find someone willing to get it on with you Rory, that better Sarah," Benny says grinning.

"No, it's not, Sarah says glaring at him.

"Ah come on Sarah, maybe you and Ethan should fool around tonight, you've both wanted to for years and we all know it," Erica says.

Sarah glares at her too. Benny and Ethan glance at each other briefly.

"Way to make it awkward Erica," Rory says loudly.

They sit in awkward silence for the rest of the drive.

They pull up to Ethan's house and file into the kitchen, sitting around the table. Ethan breaks out the snacks. They start talking about their days and checking their phones. Ethan's mom comes in and smiles at them.

"Ethan, remember no parties or we'll ground you for the rest of you high school career," Ethan's mom says.

"Yeah mom I know," Ethan says rolling his eyes at the table at large.

"No ABD alright," she tells him.

"Yes mom I remember," Ethan says exasperatedly.

"Good, have fun kids," she waves at them and goes outside to the car where Ethan's dad is waiting.

"What's ABD?" Asks Erica.

"Adultery, booze, and drugs," Ethan responds.

"What's adultery?" Asks Rory.

"Fooling around," Benny says trying not to laugh as Sarah glares at him.

"Oh," says Rory.

Erica's phone rings, she picks it up, "what do you want. Oh great," she rolls her eyes, "yeah well I'm busy. Well of course you don't care you're a great bunch of fascists. Fine we'll be there." She hangs up.

"Who was that?" Asks Rory.

"The damn council, they're calling a meeting or something and all us vampires have to go," she groans.

"Seriously, why do The have to go and interfere with our plans all the damn time," Sarah complains.

"I'm just happy they're letting me come this time," Rory says with a stupid grin.

"Hey you should tell them about that drifter, that's probably something they ought to know about," Ethan says.

"Oh yeah I should, good idea. Well later you two," Sarah says with a wave and the three of them leave.

"Bummer," says Ethan, secretly though he's kind of glad that it was gonna be just him and Benny.

The two of them sit on the couch watching horror movies, Benny sitting in Ethan's lap his legs across Ethan's waiting for the scary parts of the movie so he could bury his face in Ethan's shirt.

In the middle of like their fourth movie out of the blue Benny blurts out,

"Are you sure you really want to date me, are you sure you're okay being with a guy?"

"Yeah, obviously, I wouldn't have asked you out in the first place if I wasn't," Ethan replies.

"Yeah but, but I," Benny fidgets with his hands.

"Hey," Ethan takes his hands, "Benny, I like being with you, I like talking to you and hanging out with you, I like everything about you, and I really like kissing you. I like you and I wanna date you, and you said yes so you can't escape me now," he says smiling warmly.

"Okay. Good," Benny says. Ethan kisses his cheek, Benny blushes and smiles.

"I'm kinda glad it's just us tonight," Ethan whispers, his lips brushing Benny's neck.

Benny laughs, "that tickles E, let me watch my movie."

"Okay," says Ethan, then he wraps his arms around Benny and leans against him.

Another movie or two later Ethan's fallen asleep against Benny, and Bennys starting to get freaked out watching by himself.

"Hey, hey E wake up, you're snoring," Benny nudges him.

"Hmm, what's that," Ethan mumbles.

"You're snoring," Benny says again.

"Oh, sorry," Ethan says sleepily, snuggling up to Benny.

"Hey E, I'm kinda glad it's just us tonight too," then he kisses Ethan. Ethan responds, kissing back sleepily but still just as fiercely as usual.

When they finally break apart Ethan asks, "hey, does that mean you wanna, you know?"

Benny nods.

Ethan smiles, "okay," Ethan picks Benny up, Benny wraps his arms around Ethan's neck, and Ethan carries him upstairs to his room. He drops him on the bed and crawls on top of him.

"You're surprisingly light," Ethan smiles.

"Shut up," Benny says and then pulls Ethan closer to him and kisses him carefully.

"You promise you wont run away this time?" Ethan asks.

"Yeah I promise," Benny nods.

Ethan grins, "Good," he hugs Benny.

They kiss some more, building up the courage to start.

Benny hesitantly puts a hand on Ethan's hip and in response Ethan lets the rest of his weight come to rest on top of Benny, their body's now touching, feeling each other's warmth through their clothes.

Benny feels something hard against his lower stomach. His own is pressing up against Ethan's thigh. He wriggles embarrassedly.

Still kissing him Ethan slips his fingers under Benny's waistband. Benny makes a strained sound and Ethan feels it between their intertwined tongues.

Ethan breaks away from the kiss and looks into Benny's face, then he kisses him lightly on the mouth and then the chin and then his neck and then he moves down Benny's body and starts to unbuckle Benny's belt, then he unzips his fly and then pulls back his underwear taking Benny's dick in his hand, he's about to put it in his mouth.

"Wait Ethan," Benny blurts out.

"What's wrong," Ethan asks looking a bit disappointed, "do you wanna stop?"

"No it's just," Benny starts, sitting up.

"Just what," Ethan asks, his mouth still only a couple inches from Benny's dick.

"I wanna be on the bottom," he says loudly, sounding embarrassed.

"Really?" Ethan says, he looks kinda excited.

"Yeah," he whispers.

"O-okay, but I still wanna suck your-"

"No let me, do yours," Benny says in a very quiet voice.

"You sure?" Asks Ethan.

Benny nods and pulls his pants the rest of the way off, then he pulls off his shirt as well.

Ethan stares at him, slightly in awe for a moment, then Benny slides off the bed and kneels next to it.

"Comere," he says patting the edge of the bed lightly.

Ethan nods and moves to sit on the edge of the bed. He takes off his shirt too and Benny stares up at him for a second then he unzips Ethan's pants and pulls out his erection.

"It's hot when you take charge," Ethan jokes.

"Shut up," Benny says embarrassed, then Benny takes a deep breath, gently licks the length of it and then puts it in his mouth.

Ethan gasps a little. He feels Benny's hand on his thigh the other gently strokes Ethan's dick. He puts his hand on Benny's head, weaving his fingers into Benny's soft hair.

Ethan watches him, it's a bit odd to think of Benny as a bottom. The couple of times Ethan had ever thought about doing this kind of thing with him he had imagined himself on the bottom. Not that he has any problem being on top, top or bottom he isn't picky he's just happy to be sharing the experience with someone he cares so deeply about.

"Oh man Benny if you keep that up I'm gonna cum," Ethan says quietly.

Benny ignores him and keeps moving his head.

"Benny," he says, his toes curling, almost gripping the rug.

Benny feels it shoot into his mouth. He releases Ethan and looks up at him. He swallows, still staring Ethan in the eye. Ethan blushes.

"Tastes kinda gross," Benny says.

"Well you didn't have to swallow it," Ethan says embarrassedly, averting his eyes.

"But it's yours."

Ethan blushed even harder and crosses his legs.

"Okay now what do you want me to do?" Benny asks looking away and twisting at a piece of his hair.

"Uh, what, what do you wanna do?" Ethan responds.

"What do you think, I feel like I've made it obvious already."

"Yeah, sorry, I'm just, nervous I guess."

"Shouldn't I be the nervous one, I mean I am the one who's about to take it up the ass for the first time," Benny says cracking a smile. He gets up and sits beside Ethan, he reaches out to his face and brushes his hair out of it.

"Hey Ethan, I love you," Benny says staring at him.

"I, I love you too," Ethan stammers in response.

Benny moves in to kiss him again, warmly and passionately and when they break apart Benny says, "okay now let's do it before I explode."

Ethan nods, "yeah," and stands up abruptly tripping on the pants around his ankles.

"Maybe take them off?" Benny smiles.

"Yeah," Ethan says, awkwardly kicking them the rest of the way off.

"That really wasn't sexy was it," Ethan says smiling embarrassedly.

"No," Benny shakes his head, "it wasn't. Okay now come here and start already before I chicken out."

Ethan nods, "hold on lemme find the uhm, the rubbers." He reaches under the bed and brings out the baggie of stuff they gave everybody in health class, because if you can't make teenagers stop having sex, you can at least make them have safe sex.

Ethan sits on the bed across from Benny, they both stare at the baggie.

Benny laughs nervously, "pinch me I'm dreaming."

"I think this has to be the most awkward first time ever in the history of everything," Ethan says still staring at the baggie.

"Alright, put one on," Benny says.

Ethan nods and does.

Benny lays down and says, "okay I'm ready."

Ethan nods again, he kneels over Benny and he puts his index and middle in his mouth, then takes them out again. Benny watches the string of spit from Ethan's mouth to his fingers stretch and then break.

Ethan carefully reaches down and puts one finger in Benny, Benny gasps a little.

"Sorry," Ethan says quietly.

"Shut up, don't apologize, just hurry up so you can put it in," Benny whispers.

Ethan blushes deeply, nods and continues.

He moves his hand slowly, then adds a finger, moves some more, and adds another.

"I think I'm ready, do it already," Benny says, panting just a little.

"You're sure?" Ethan asks.

Benny nods.

"Okay," Ethan gently pulls his fingers out and Benny shudders a bit.

Ethan shifts himself to a better position, "You'll tell me if it hurts?"

"Yeah."

"Okay," Ethan slips it in slowly and watches Benny's eyes and mouth widen.

"Oh," Benny gasps.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Ethan moves again, slowly slipping it the rest of the way in.

"You're inside me, you're inside," Benny pants quietly.

"You're so tight, you feel really good," Ethan whispers, "I'm gonna move now, that okay?" he asks.

"Yeah," Benny smiles lightly.

Ethan moves his hips slowly back and forth.

"Uhn, wow," Benny moans.

"You good?" Ethan asks.

Benny nods, "Don't stop."

Ethan blushes a little and keeps going, trying his hardest to be gentle. He leans over Benny, "I love you," he whispers.

Benny reaches up and wraps his arms around Ethans neck, "me too." Benny grips Ethans back harder.

"You sure you're okay?" Ethan asks.

"Yeah, it's just, a bit, weird,"Benny pants. Benny pulls Ethan's head closer and kisses him.

Benny is really aware of Ethan's body on top of his, pressing down on him, pinning him to the bed. He likes it, he likes it a lot, he feels safe.

Ethan feels Benny clinging to him, he hears him whine a little, desperate little moans, the sound of him panting. He can barely compose himself. He begins to thrust harder.

He can feel Benny tense up, everywhere. He hears a sound in Benny's throat but before it escapes his lips he clamps down on Ethan's shoulder, teeth digging into his skin.

"Ow, ow, ow, I'm sorry, I won't be so rough," Ethan says, misreading the reason for Benny biting him and slowing his movements.

"No, it felt really good, keep going," Benny whispers releasing Ethan's shoulder.

"O-okay," Ethan stutters, thrusting harder once again. Benny's body tenses again and Ethan suppresses a moan as Benny's nails dig into his back.

Benny bites his lip, embarrassed of the sounds he's making. They're somewhere between a moan and a whine, they definitely sounds desperate and they bubble up from his chest in tandem, every time Ethan thrusts into him.

Benny again tries to muffle himself by biting down on Ethan's shoulder. He feels Ethan whince but he continues this time.

"There's no one here you know, you don't have to be quiet," Ethan says to Benny who's still clinging to him. Benny just whines into his shoulder.

"I understand," Ethan whispers. He turns his head, breathing in the smell of Benny's hair, shampoo and the smoky smell of the incents his grandma burns. He kisses Benny's neck. He moves more forcefully. He feels Benny release his shoulder. Benny's back arches and he wraps his legs around Ethans back. He's still trying not to make a sound. Ethans trying real hard to get him to. He leans over Benny, kisses his neck again and then again, the more times he kisses Benny the sloppier he does it. Benny's heavy breathing evolves into a shaky whine. Ethan bites his lip.

"You're so cute, god you're so cute," Ethan pants.

Benny covers his face with his arms, "it's, embarrassing Ethan," he whispers shakily. Ethan keeps kissing him.

"Don't worry," Ethan says into his neck, "it's just me Benny."

"God i'm so glad it's you," Benny moans loudly, his arms are crossed over his face. Ethan reaches down to touch Benny in the front to. Benny's fists clench as he does this, his thighs squeeze Ethan even tighter. Benny starts moving his hips. He whines and gasps loudly.

"Ethan," he says breathily from under his still crossed arms. It looks and feel to Ethan like every muscle in Benny's body has tensed and then he spasms. His arms slide off his face and he lets out a particularly loud moan his face is screwed up into one of the best faces Ethan thinks he's ever seen Benny make. His brows are furrowed and his mouth is open, wide, he looks like he's in ecstasy. He is still convulsing around Ethan, with a final thrust he cums. As he starts to pull out he watches Benny's face relax and he exhales a long shaky exhale. Ethan is breathing deeply, he's staring at Benny whose eyes open slowly, Benny smiles sleepily,

"I'm glad it's just us tonight."