Thanks for all the reviews. Guess I seriously need to get this story out of my head.
Well, here goes.
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During initial days, Catelyn Tully was ashamed at her own stupidity for not realizing it sooner. Every highborn girl in seven kingdoms made a study of Prince Rhaegar, at one point, her father wanted her to be betrothed to him as well.
Thus, like every other girl in the kingdom, Catelyn danced with Rhaegar, swooned over him to an extent, knew his profile and face like back of her hand.
For all his resemblance to Ned Stark, Jon Snow is a clone of prince Rhaegar in his build and movements. Hell, he even had the same barely noticeable dimple on his chin. His eyes, if one knew to look hard enough, are not blue gray, but lilac gray.
Well, like Brynden Tully once quoted famously, "All grays are gray, all greens are green", as he threw the ugliest green fabric he bought for Tully girls. Obviously, both girls didn't talk to their uncle for a week.
Fact of the matter is, She is so blinded by her own prejudices, she did not realize facts staring her in the face for fourteen years.
Once her denial phase is over, she got angry. Angry at Ned. Ned, who did every thing he can think of to please his wife for the next few days. He could not for the life of him understand what he did wrong.
Then, one fine day, as she looked at Jon in tilt yard, as she felt ashamed once more for praying Jon Snow to die, she realized why Ned Stark didn't tell her. He thought she will run with that information to Robert, killing the child as soon as possible.
The realization is so staggering, she fell to her knees, couldn't gather enough strength to get up again. The servants rushed in, carrying her to her chambers. Maester Luwin came by, she wouldn't speak to him other than inform him she did not feel enough strength in her legs, it is going to pass.
Ned came running as soon as he heard Catelyn has taken ill. Catelyn's couldn't stop crying since she realized. Her beloved husband thought of her as a monster capable of sending a child to death is unbearable.
She must ask him, Catelyn realized. If she did not hear the reasons from Ned him self, they will never be able live in harmony. She will forever languish in hell, as she wondered about her husband's opinion of her.
"I wish to speak with you Ned, Privately." she managed between her sobs.
Ned waved servants away. Catelyn instructed him to make sure there's no one with in vicinity.
"I know who Jon's mother is Ned. I also know who the father is." she added, after seeing Ned's expression did not change. As she spoke of Jon's father, Ned's expression froze. If it were any other than Catelyn, they wouldn't be able to tell the difference. How ever, Catelyn knew her husband like back of her hand. She could clearly see his distress.
"How?" he asked.
There is possibly no way any one could know, unless they possess witchcraft, or they knew Rhaegar very closely, observed Jon very closely, as Catelyn did few weeks ago. Ned suddenly understood his wife's behavior over past few weeks. She's known for a while.
"Please, Cat. This must remain between us." he implored her.
"What do you think I will do Ned? Report to Robert for a new castle?" she asked sarcastically. The effect is ruined by her voice cracking.
Eddard Stark hesitated to answer. If it's any one else, they wouldn't have caught his expression, but it's Catelyn. Her husband thought that is exactly what she will do. Her heart broke anew.
"No." She could hear doubt in his voice.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked before she could loose her voice.
"I was going to." Ned answered.
Catelyn raised her eyes to him through the tears. He could hear the unspoken question. Ned didn't want to answer. He knew the answer will break her heart. When Catelyn did not look away from him, he knew he had to answer. He could only pray to old gods to save his marriage after this.
"I heard you, in the sept." he began.
Catelyn looked at him confusedly.
"It was a youthful curiosity. I wanted to hear what my wife wanted to confess. I gave slip to Septon, hid in the confession booth. " He paused there, as if he didn't want to continue.
Catelyn wanted to know. She didn't want any more secrets between them. Ned took a breath, as if gathering courage to speak next words.
"I heard you pray for Jon's death, so I will forget my paramour."
It is as if the world has gone silent for a moment in Catelyn's head. She remembered that day. She did not want to look at Jon at all. She believed if she did not look at him, it is as if he did not exist. So, she did not. Ned did not come to her bed, not even once after returning from war. He spent more time with Jon than he did with Robb. She hated the fact Jon's mother existed. In her weakest moment, she went to sept, prayed for Jon's death.
She remembered that day clearly. That night, Ned came to her bed. His breath smelled of wine, but he had taken her. He had taken her as if she is the only woman existing in the world. Catelyn till to day thought their love began that day.
It is as if some one pulled a stone, entire dam collapsed, leaving a rush of revelations with no way to stop her brain from showing them to her. She remembered what happened after. Ned brought a new wet nurse, so she can tend to Jon. Till then, he asked Catelyn to take care of him. Jon took violently ill afterwards, But Ned did not let her see him. He told her he understood the shame he brought upon her, he did not wish to hurt her any more than needed.
He looked right in to her face, lied to her saying he did not wish to hurt her, all the time believing she is poisoning Jon. Eventually, wreaked with guilt, Catelyn barged her way in to Jon's room, fed him from her breast, dismissed the wet nurse. She took care of him that night, Ned coming by when ever he can.
Catelyn turned to the side, vomited violently. She wished she would die so the pain of the truth will stop hurting her.
Ned called for servants immediately, tried to help her. Catelyn batted his hands away.
"Go away." She said.
"Go away." she shouted.
"Go away." She screamed.
She heaved a breath, found she couldn't. Ned tried to calm her, but she fought him tooth and nail. She could hear one of the servants shouting for Maester Luwin.
She wanted Ned to go away. She could feel her throat closing up. Her last thought is – Stranger, I am ready to meet you – before her world turned black.
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Jon heard commotion more than see it. Servants ran helter skelter in corridors, soon all stark children are gathered before their mother's chambers.
He could see head cook come out, waiting in front of Lady's chambers awkwardly, as well as various others. After a moment, Jon surmised they are waiting for orders.
He looked to Robb, who is looking equally distraught holding a crying sansa and bran, Arya is clinging to him like a monkey. He could tell she is going to start crying soon too. Rickon thankfully is in the hands of wet nurse, who will be looking after him for the time being.
Freya is the first one of them to react. She moved almost silently towards the servants waiting for orders, talked to them one by one. With in moments, she is moving across the castle to take care of stuff that Lady Catelyn usually takes care of.
Jon felt thankful for her presence. He never realized how much for granted they all took their parents. As much as Lady Catelyn hated him, she is the only thing he has in common to a mother. He did not want her to die.
All stark children are let in to their mother's room for the time being. Lady Catelyn is given Milk of Poppy, is fast asleep.
She looks so peaceful and beautiful like that, Thought Jon as he looked at her. While he always knew what she looked like, he never saw her being as unguarded as she is now. His next thought is, Freya is correct, even if his father has loved his mother while he is away from his wife, There is no way any woman can hold Lord Stark's heart over a woman as beautiful as Lady Catelyn.
"Is mother going to be okay, Father?" Arya asked his father from his arms.
"Of course, sweetling." his father answered, Kissing Arya on forehead, gathering rest of the children in this Arms, including Robb.
Freya came by to usher all of them out, then coaxing them in to lunch. She hoped Lady Catelyn will wake up soon. While Lady Catelyn made it seem as easy as breathing, running a castle of winterfell's stature is not a walk in the park by any means.
She is thankful that Lady Catelyn has taught her how a lady should take care of the house hold in preparation for what ever hold fast Jon may eventually hold. If not for those lessons, she would have been caught absolutely flat footed. The servants, who were leery of her before, now are attentive to her.
Lady Catelyn woke to a very bad fever after a day. She was delirious, both maester Luwin and Lord stark spent majority of their time with her, but most of her care fell to the hands of Sansa and Freya.
Sansa clung to her. Bran clung to Robb. Arya clung to Jon. It's as if they all became adults overnight. Rickon cried for his mother, thankfully, he is more accustomed to wet nurse than his mother.
After three days of deligent care, Lady Catelyn opened her eyes. She looked to Sansa who's sleeping in a chair, Freya who's setting up a breakfast in the corner.
"Lady Catelyn" Freya exclaimed happily as she saw Lady of the house pushing up her self to sit.
Sansa woke immediately.
"Mother!" she cried happily, as she threw her arms around her mother's neck, cried tears of joy. Soon, All the stark children are there, even Jon, though he kept his distance. Freya and Lady Catelyn both sent a decidedly reluctant bunch of children to breakfast.
Freya saw to Lady Catelyn's comforts, left just as Lord Stark entered the room. Even she could tell there's some heavy air between Lady and Lord Stark.
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"Legitimize him. Give him what ever you want, but not winterfell." That is all she said before she turned from him and walked in to a bath.
"We need to talk, Cat. Please" Lord Stark implored.
"No, My Lord. We did all the talking we need. You think I am a monster that wouldn't hesitate to kill a babe at it's mother's teats. You only ever touched me to keep me from killing your precious son. I don't think I am missing any thing."
She paid no mind to his requests after that, sank in to her bath, held her self underwater. She could feel her lungs burning, but she stayed underwater.
Just as she is about to loose her consciousness, a hand reached in to the tub, pulled her out.
"What in the seven hell's is wrong with you Cat?" Ned screamed as he pulled his wife out.
"I never believed you capable of killing an infant Cat. But in that moment I knew I was only increasing your hate towards Jon by giving you space when I wanted you so badly. Please, I never thought of you as monster."
"No my lord, if you hadn't thought of me capable of killing a child, you would have told me any time before now." Cat spat at him.
"It is not just you Cat! Varys has his little birds every where. I feared that if your treatment of Jon changed suddenly, People would get curious. It is just observation that made you realize, Cat! Do you deny it?" Ned was so earnest, it made her realize how awful she is being.
She sat there in front of her husband naked, and wept.
"you should have told me. You should have told me." She repeated it as a chant as she cried harder and harder.
After some time, Ned knee-led besides her, gathered her in to his arms.
"Yes, I should have told you. I knew how loving you could be. I should have told you. I am sorry Cat, I am sorry." he whispered in to her ears as he stroked her hair.
Their marriage, it seems would survive.
They spent the day in the bed room, with Lord stark doing nothing other than holding Catelyn.
"I will sign the papers tomorrow." she told him as she fell asleep.
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As his father called him in to the solar, Jon wondered what it is this time. He knew he had to take the decision on Freya soon, but he thought he had six months to do it. It's not even three.
When he finally opened the doors to the solar, he is surprised to see Lady Catelyn there. She avoided looking at him. This is it, they are finally throwing me out, thought Jon. There's no other reason why Lady Catelyn would look that guilty.
"Good morning, Jon. How are you?" his father asked genially.
Jon would have liked his father to sound less happier if they are throwing him away for good.
"I am good father." Jon answered.
"I have a surprise for you Jon. Here." Lord Stark offered.
Jon took the paper gingerly, opened it.
His expression changed from intrepid to shock then absolute delight as he finished reading.
Eddard Stark smiled at him as he looked up from the document.
"Congratulations, Jon Stark." he said smiling at Jon.
Jon could do nothing other than throwing his arms around his father, thanking Lady Catelyn furiously.
