*OKAY, SO THE CHAPTER I WAS WRITING KEPT GETTING LONGER AND LONGER SO I HAVE HAD TO SPLIT IT! THE NEXT PART SHOULD HOPEFULLY BE UP BEFORE THE WEEKEND, FINGERS CROSSED!*
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Rolling on to his back, Nick yawned loudly and rubbed his knuckles across his eyelids in a bid to wake himself up. He stared at the ceiling, blinking a few times as his eyes came in to focus and tried to follow the dappled shadows fluttering across the white expanse above his head. Turning to his right, he glanced at Reagan's untouched pillow and ran a hand across her side of the bed, sheets still flat and uncreased. Like she had never resided there at all. Nick took a deep breath and groaned, exhaling heavily as he stretched himself out to fill the un-slept in half of the mattress with his own body. Glancing across at the clock on the night stand, he noticed it was already 9:30am. He'd overslept, again. Reagan was up at 6am like clockwork every day, so he would usually follow suit not much after. It hadn't taken long for that habit to slide once she was away and he had slipped back into long lie ins and lazy days in his underwear - just because he could. Shuffling to the edge of the bed, Nick swung his legs over the side and stood up, stretching above his head with a grunt before ruffling a hand through his hair. Remembering he now had company, Nick reached for the t-shirt and sweatpants he had dumped on the floor the night before and threw them on. Even given the fact he had known Jess for a long time and had intimate history with her, he figured sauntering out to the kitchen in just his boxers was likely a step over the line.
Walking into the living area, Nick found Jess in the same spot she had been in for the past three mornings: curled up on the couch in her pyjamas watching trash T.V and scooping spoonfuls of strawberry swirl ice cream in to her mouth. Without lifting her eyes from the television, Jess raised a hand in his direction as acknowledgement of Nick's presence. Grabbing a mug and pouring himself some coffee, he stood for a moment, leaning back against the counter and watched Jess from a distance. She was staring at the T.V but they both knew she wasn't really watching it. He sighed to himself. This was not the Jess he had left behind in L.A. This wasn't even the Jess he had spoken to on the phone regularly while he had been away - the one who laughed at his stupid jokes and corrected his misspoken phrases with joviality in her voice. Something wasn't right. This Jess was desperately down in the dumps. She had been putting on a brave face the other night at the cafe, it would seem. She had smiled, but it never quite reached the corners of her eyes the way it used to. It had not escaped Nick that the sparkle which usually lived in those big, blue eyes of hers had dulled considerably since he last saw her. She had blamed her exhaustion mainly on work stress - but that didn't quite make sense to him either, because Jessica Day loved her job. With a passion he envied on a regular basis. Sure, the workload was heavy, but she revelled in it - and Jess was so organised she was usually well ahead of schedule where work was concerned.
So it must have been her break up with Sam bothering her. Something else Nick couldn't quite get his head around. What made Sam so special, anyway? Okay, sure, he was a doctor and sure he saved the lives of young children on a daily basis, blah blah blah...yes, he was way over six feet tall, looked after himself well and his hair was always so damn perfect - but...other than that, what was the attraction?! They hadn't even been together that long in comparison to himself and Jess. He didn't see her stuffing her face with ice cream every day after they broke up. But then again, maybe that was because he was too busy drowning his own sorrows in a bottle of whiskey...
Nick took a deep breath and gave his head a little shake.
This should be weird, right?
Schmidt said this was weird - Jess staying with him.
'Time alone in another state with your ex? The one who was recently dumped? Are you insane? Don't open that Pandora's box, Nicholas! The worms will spew out like pus from a boil and then there's no way back.'
Nick pondered this thought for a moment while taking a long gulp of coffee.
Roommates, friends, lovers...ex lovers, back to friends and roommates.
Okay, maybe it was a little weird.
But, it didn't feel weird.
It felt...nice.
It felt...normal.
They'd lived together for so long that it actually felt stranger now when they weren't sharing the same apartment.
And what did Schmidt know, anyway? He wears driving moccasins and uses hair chutney - his opinion on what should be considered 'weird' could clearly not be trusted.
Nick ambled over to the couch and took a seat on the cushion farthest from Jess. Continuing to drink his coffee in silence, he would glance over at her every now and then.
"Stop it!" She barked after catching him looking across for the fifth time.
"Stop what?!"
"I'm acclimatising, okay? Getting used to my new surroundings!"
"I didn't say a word..."
"You didn't need to - you're looking at me funny." She said, mouth full of half melted ice cream.
"I'm not looking at you like anything!" Nick protested, hands raised high "No judgement here - I said do whatever you needed to feel better, remember?"
There was a pause as she slowly lowered her spoon and regarded him suspiciously.
"So, you're just going to let me sit around in my pyjamas eating ice cream on your couch every morning...?"
"Let you?" He scoffed "When have I ever let you do anything, Jess? You're a full grown woman - if you want to do something, you're gonna do it. Nothing I or anyone else can do about it. I learned that one very quickly a long time ago!"
Nick leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. Pursing his lips, he paused for a second, seeming to consider his next sentence.
"So, if that means you want to sit and feel sorry for yourself while watching Judge Judy and eating ice cream, then you go for it..." Ducking his head to catch her eye, Nick continued "But...if you don't want to be moping around feeling sorry for yourself anymore and are ready for a proper breakfast, then just say the word. I'll swoop right in and take that bowl from your clutches. Replace it with a plateful of food fit for a King...or Queen, you know, in the interest of equality. Your call, Jessica."
Chewing on her lip for a while, Jess gave his offer a considerable amount of thought before slowly nodding her head at him. Nick leaned forward, reaching for the bowl on her lap with both hands, and she reluctantly let it be taken from her.
"Great!" Nick said enthusiastically.
"How so?"
"Strawberry Swirl is my favourite!" He grinned as he spooned the last few mouthfuls greedily in to his mouth, smacking his lips as he walked away to the kitchen - ducking to avoid the cushion Jess had flung at his head with incredible speed.
"You're a jerk!"
"Hey, is that any way to speak to someone who is about to cook you breakfast? Tut tut, Jessica...where are your manners?!"
...
Although she had admired the balcony of the apartment since she first arrived, Jess had barely left the confines of the living area or her bedroom for the first few days of her stay, and therefore still had to enjoy it's little slice of sunny tranquility. Nick had been correct when he said she was moping - he was way off with the reason why - but it was still true. She'd come away to see Nick, sure, but she genuinely was hoping the rest in a different place would lift her spirits and help her get her head together, to chill out a bit. So that's what she decided she would do.
"Hey, Nick? Do you think...maybe we could eat out there?" Jess asked, pointing to the table and two chairs sitting forlornly outside. He lifted his gaze from the pans on the stove and followed the direction of her arm.
"The balcony?" His bottom lip pursed slightly and he tilted his head a little "Sure, why not? You get comfortable and I'll bring the food out once I'm done."
She wasted no time in flinging the patio doors open, feeling the warm air surround her as she stepped outside. Jess didn't care she was still in her pyjamas, closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath, filling her lungs to the brim. She could almost feel the sunshine shooting energy through her bloodstream. Taking a moment to stand at the railings looking out over the courtyard below, Jess looked down to the window boxes and the little array of coloured plants she had noticed that first day. Running a finger lightly over the wilting petals of a flower so yellow it rivalled the sun, Jess spoke to it softly "Well aren't you a darling little thing. Don't you worry, Mrs Flower, I'll be sure to give you all plenty of TLC while I'm here - looks like you could use it. We both have some recovering to do it would seem..."
"Be sure to let me know if they start to talk back to you!" Nick's voice startled her and Jess squeaked in surprise as she span around to see him walk towards the table with a tray carrying their breakfasts and two large glasses of fresh orange juice.
"Don't sneak up on people like that, Nick! You could have given me a heart attack!"
"Who else were you expecting? Santa?!"
"No, I just meant...you made me jump, is all..."
"Well for that, I apologise, but...I come bearing gifts!" Nick sang the last part as he put down a plate for her laden with bacon, eggs, sausages and grilled tomatoes "Voila!" He declared triumphantly, with a grin that spanned ear to ear. Jess couldn't lie, it smelt amazing and instantly made her salivary glands kick into action. She sat quickly and he joined her, silently raising his glass in her direction. Jess gave a small smile and clinked her glass with his, before they both tucked in to their al fresco breakfast without sharing another word until they were nearly finished.
"So this is your breakfast of choice in New Orleans?"
"No, surprisingly - it's the first time I've had a cooked breakfast since I came out here."
"No way, not true!" She scoffed at him "I don't believe that for a second - you're Nicholas Miller, I'm pretty sure your insides half consist of cooked pig parts..."
"I kid you not, Jess!"
"You really expect me to believe that? I know I'm not functioning at 100% right now, but you can't fool me that easily. I know you, Nick - the only thing that could wake you from a coma would be the smell of bacon frying in a pan."
Nick paused mid way through his last mouthful and laughed. He placed his cutlery neatly down on his plate, having cleared it of food in record time "Whilst that may actually be true, I'm genuinely telling you the truth! I don't know if you noticed, but I'm trying to take care of myself here. I'm eating better - most of the time - and even going to the gym." He pointed an arm in her direction and pulled in his bottom lip, biting down in a grimace as he flexed it hard back towards himself.
"Oh, I noticed..." Jess replied with no hesitation, brain and mouth going at different speeds, failing to consult one another before the words tumbled out. Her eyes remained firmly fixed on the plate in front of her as she placed another forkful of scrambled egg hastily in her mouth. Jess chewed and swallowed, taking a long sip of juice before finally lifting her gaze to find Nick already looking at her, a small smile on his face but a bigger one displayed in his eyes.
"What?" She asked, using all of her acting skills to appear nonchalant.
He gave the slightest shake of his head and cleared his throat "Nothing...so, how's your breakfast?"
"It's good. Really good, thank you."
"Beats ice cream on the sofa, right?"
"Well, I mean - I'm certainly still partial to a bowl of strawberry swirl first thing in the morning..." Jess teased "...but, yes, Nick - i'd say this is definitely an upgrade!"
...
After that morning, Jess had taken to getting up early and having her breakfast out on the balcony in the sunshine every day. Sometimes Nick would join her, but for the most part it was just her, alone, enjoying the silence. It was peaceful, and therapeutic. Quite often it became her favourite part of the day - she'd water the flowers and talk to them, because she genuinely seemed to think they liked it. They'd certainly perked up after a week of attention. Jess had felt something lift inside her, too - a welcome sensation given her emotionally delicate state recently. She had actually fallen asleep without needing her pills for the past couple of nights too, so definite progress in that department. Her heart still stalled in her chest when she heard him on the phone to Reagan, or when she would be going about her day and be hit with a sudden reminder of his unavailability to her - like reaching in to the linen closet for a towel to go and shower, only to pull out a sweater belonging to Reagan by mistake. But Jess was finding it easier to carry on regardless.
Baby steps.
Nick had switched the alarm on his phone off the second it started. He'd already been awake for a while but was too comfortable to get up, so he lay there on his stomach, hugging the pillow contentedly. A slow smile spread across his face as he heard the faint sounds of Jess singing to herself in the kitchen up the hall. She'd seemed bouncier the last few days, and that pleased him. A sad Jess was hard to watch and although Nick felt he was usually pretty good after all these years at reading her mood and helping her to feel better when she was down, this time seemed different because none of his normal tricks had helped for long. After grabbing a shower, he headed in to the kitchen and saw Jess in her new favourite spot - at the table out on the balcony, eating poached eggs for breakfast. He popped his head around the patio doors to greet her "Hey Jess, you want anything?"
"Top o'the morning to you, Nicholas! I'm good here, thanks. You joining me today?"
"Nah, I got a lot of work to do. Really should try and knuckle down with this latest chapter...I'll catch ya later!"
"Okay - good luck."
He ducked back inside the apartment as Jess gave a cheerful wave, and headed over to grab a large cup of coffee. If he was going to complete this chapter of The Pepperwood Chronicles, it was going to take a ton of caffeine. His writers block was really plaguing him recently, which was enormously frustrating given the excellent start he had made when he first arrived in New Orleans. The change of location seemed to flick a switch where his creativity was concerned - words had just flown from his mind and straight onto the pages in a seamless transition, until Reagan had gifted him a new laptop ("To replace all this paper - it's cluttering up the apartment, Nick. I thought you'd like this better. Thank me later!") and ever since then, whenever he stared at the screen he just had...nothing.
Perching on a stool at his writer's bar, Nick switched the computer on and sighed at the familiar whirring as it started up. He gulped down some coffee, waiting for the energy surge to reach him and gave his cheeks a little slap to try and motivate himself. Thirty minutes later, the screen was still empty and Nick had found himself playing Solitaire for the fifteenth time. Needing a break from the laptop, he let his gaze wander out to the balcony where Jess was sat reading a book. Her hair was up in a bun and she was wearing a big, retro pair of sunglasses perched on her nose. He smiled to himself. It was so nice having someone around. It wasn't even like they spent all their time together - he was making a conscious effort to honour his promise from the phone call to let Jess rest and not bother her while she was here - but just knowing there was someone else present all the time was really nice. He'd been getting pretty lonely in the apartment on his own what with Reagan being away so much.
It was minimal at first: the occasional overnight work trip here and there. But that quickly turned in to weekend conferences that couldn't be missed, which then became whole weeks where she was travelling away with her job. She was away from the apartment more often than she was home these days, and this latest placement had bothered him more than he let on.
"What if you just say no this time?"
"Nick, this is my job - it's important to me. I have to go where I'm needed."
"What if I need you here?"
"You know what I mean. You won't even notice I'm gone!"
Reagan had rolled her eyes as she finished packing her bag, kissing him quickly on the lips as she left for the airport and promised to call every day.
New Orleans definitely hadn't been quite the experience he was expecting. He loved the place, the people, and of course the food...but he felt more and more like he was here alone. Nick kept trying to convince himself of something his mother used to say when Walt had pulled one of his disappearing acts: 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder.'
He would repeat it in his head over and over while waiting for Reagan to call, trying to ignore the thought from the insecure part of his brain that was desperately trying to creep it's way in...'More like out of sight, out of mind...'
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