All I Ever Wanted
Part Four: Driven
I am Karone of KO 35. Even after over a year, my birth name still sounds foreign.
I was Astronema for a decade. I had been feared, respected, and sometimes worshipped as heir to Dark Specter's domain. I had power and influence beyond the imagination of most humans, and confidence that some day, I would rule the galaxy.
The one thing I miss most about being Astronema is the confidence. The absolute certainty of what role I would play throughout my life. The clear vision of who I was, and what I was capable of.
Now, I don't know. I have no goals to reach for, no skills I can utilize in this new era governed by interplanetary peace. I have no clear understanding of who I am. Before, I was a cold mistress of Darkness, armed with magic, thousands of foot soldiers, and insatiable ambition. That image does not mesh with the memories of my childhood, awakened by my brother and his infallible love for me. That image now haunts me as I live with the consequences of my past life.
I am no longer Astronema, but I see her in my reflection sometimes. I remember her life and actions clearly. Zordon's cleansing power erased Dark Specter's unnatural hold on me, but that's all it did. It didn't erase my memories, or the skills I acquired during my rigorous training. Deep within, I retain all the darkness that once governed my life, only I've chosen not to embrace it.
Instead, I've embraced humanity. I embraced the selfless philosophy embodied by the Rangers, and their dedication to life and freedom. I embrace the love of my friends, my brother, and Zhane... and that love is the one reliable factor in my new existence.
But love doesn't grant me peace, because I'm still haunted by doubts. I wonder who I am, and what I can contribute to the protection and restoration of Earth, KO 35, and all the planets I had threatened.
I rise from my meditative stance, opening my eyes to see the sun rise over the thriving city of Angel Grove. I reflect on my deepest longings and darkest fears each morning, desperate to calm my anxiety lest it slowly eat me alive.
Then, the exercise begins.
I stretch my body, performing the brisk warm-up that has been a staple in my life as long as I can remember. I begin with simple kicks and jabs, and work toward a true battle pace, with arms and legs flying at breakneck speed. I build momentum, taking a few steps before throwing myself into a series of handsprings and flips, weaving around and between the spray of laser darts my imagination creates, flying toward me with deadly accuracy.
Of course, there are no laser darts. There is no threat at all, but that doesn't put my soul at ease. Andros tells me I was born to be a scholar, like my father before me. Only, I was bred to be a warrior: fierce, focused, and strong. While the teachings of Dark Specter's court now make me bow my head in shame, one lesson I can still take to heart echoes in my mind. The truth instilled into me by Ecliptor.
"The universe is a vast, dangerous place. You must be strong, my Princess... as strong as you can possibly be. If you cannot defend yourself, eventually someone will make you his victim."
I was victimized as a child, snatched from my playground by the monstrous Darkonda. My memories were obscured and my conscience poisoned by the brainwashing of Dark Specter's court, in which I served with misguided loyalty for more than half my life. I know the truth of Ecliptor's words, and they will never leave me.
Even in this new era, when no great evil hangs in the skies above, I cannot lay the warrior within to rest.
Zhane doesn't understand. He can't fathom this need for strength, this yearning to be in control of my fate. After the... the Countdown, he was the first to retire his morpher. Back on KO 35, even before we mutually decided to settle on Earth, Zhane laid his morpher in Kinwon's hand, and bestowed its power to whomever the wise elder chose. And as we walked up the bay door of the Megaship, hand in hand, he never looked back.
The Silver Ranger was never Zhane's identity. It was only a mask he'd worn, a means to an end. And he'd achieved that end: he'd set his home world free.
He never wanted to be a warrior. He was forced into it, by the surprise attack of Dark Specter's armies. He'd lost so much from within that uniform... his planet, his family, two years of his life... even me, for the brief time I was directly manipulated by Dark Specter. He was eager to tear off the mask, and just be Zhane again. Return to the uncomplicated life he'd placed on hold for the greater good.
Each night I pray in thanks that he has found peace. I can't bring myself to pray for my own, for I don't deserve such a gift.
By the time my exercises are done, my gray training clothes are moist with sweat, and my skin is flushed. I breathe heavily, the morning air cooling my entire body as I stretch my primed muscles, and mentally prepare myself for another quiet day of life here on Earth.
Less than five minutes later, I make my way down from my rooftop sanctuary, and push open the door of the modest apartment I now share with Zhane.
"Karone."
I glance up, surprised to see Zhane standing before me. He is never awake this early, and my heart clenches as I take in his disheveled, anguished face.
"What's going on?" I demand. Is the era of peace already over? Has Andros actually found the threat he'd been anticipating?
"We just received a message from Cassie. She'd like you to contact her as soon as possible."
I turn around, my attention drawn to the single piece of Kerovan technology in the entire apartment. The interstellar communicator makes its home in the living room, always activated in case of emergency. Carlos had compared it to a device called an 'arcade game.'
My back is rigid as I sit at the communicator. Tense fingers type in the transmitter code for the interstellar shuttle that Cassie, Carlos, T.J. and Ashley had commandeered from NASADA nearly a week ago, when they decided to follow Terra Venture and accompany Andros on his mission to preempt a new evil that may soon strike against Earth and her allies.
I drum my fingers impatiently as the signal bounces through amplifiers strategically placed throughout the galaxy to make real time communication between planets possible. My worry increases with each passing second as my paranoia imagines a myriad of reasons why Cassie would place a call to me.
Then, I feel Zhane hover behind me, resting both hands on my shoulders. I allow his presence to reassure me, and it offers some comfort as I wait for a grim message.
Finally, the screen comes to life, and my mouth opens at the worn countenance of the typically exuberant Cassie Chan.
"Karone,"
she sighs, "It's good to see you."I want to urge her to skip the pleasantries and just deliver the blow. But I can't bring myself to add any additional strain to my friend's stooped shoulders.
Instead, I greet her with a frail smile. "Hi, Cassie. How are you?"
She closes her tired eyes. "I've been better. We've run into some big problems out here."
"Have you found Andros?" The fear in my voice surprises even me.
"Yes, and we've recovered our morphers also. We're en route to the Jyntarah system, hoping to track down clues to this new enemy Andros has heard of."
She rubs her temples in an obvious attempt to get her thoughts in order. "When we were on Terra Venture, an evil princess named Trakeena managed to revive the Psycho Rangers."
I wince at this revelation. I've heard of Trakeena, the spoiled daughter of Scorpius. Apparently the insectoid warlord's domain is too far in space to have been purged by Zordon's power.
Somehow, Trakeena has appropriated the programming for the Psycho Rangers. So whatever havoc those creatures have wrought, it's my fault. I'm the one who first created them, and unleashed them on the galaxy.
The guilt chokes me, so I nod for Cassie to continue.
"We teamed up with a new team of Rangers, the Galaxy Rangers. Together we defeated four of the Psycho Rangers, but the Pink one survived, and got a hold of a powerful weapon. We finally took her down, only... the Pink Galaxy Ranger, Kendrix Morgan, was thrown into a pocket dimension."
Zhane's grip tightens on my shoulders, and I sense his concern for me. He knows what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling. My creation banished the Pink Ranger, and fractured the Galaxy team. Gods, forgive me...
"We received a message from the remaining Galaxy Rangers about an hour ago. They've made contact with Kendrix. Her Quasar Saber, the source of her power, is on the planet Guinit. Kendrix told them that it's in danger... that the Saber is in evil hands. They're going to Guinit in the Megaship to retrieve it, but there's very little information on that planet in the computers. I was wondering if you knew anything that could help them."
"Guinit? Never heard of it," Zhane comments.
"Neither had Andros. The only information we have is that Guinit is in the Parphen system."
"I've been to Guinit," I reveal. "It was a training ground for Dark Specter's elite generals. It's not too far from the throne planet of the UAE, perhaps a three-day flight from here. It's a planet of rough terrain and sparse life." I frown in confusion. "Why would the Quasar Saber be on Guinit?"
"I guess it was teleported there by the same force that trapped Kendrix,"
she murmurs with a tired shrug. "Is there anything else you can tell me about Guinit? What's the indigenous species like?""There is no indigenous intelligent life, though there are plants and animals." I wrack my brains to recall details that might prove useful. "I know that some merchants had settled there after Dark Specter established his training complex. Plenty of greedy low-lifes out to make a profit. I don't think any of Dark Specter's generals would still be there, since they were all utilized in the... the final battle."
I hate that my voice still catches when I think of that terrible day.
Cassie nods her understanding. "Hopefully the Galaxy team won't run into any trouble down there. I'm going to contact them now to give them this info. If you think of anything else that could help, let us know, okay?"
"Absolutely."
Somehow, Cassie finds the heart to smile. "Take care of each other, you two. I'll talk to you soon."
I stare at the fading screen, a thousand thoughts buzzing in my mind. I could... I should do more than just relay information. It's my fault Psycho Pink ever existed; I'm the one that should be hunting down the Quasar Saber...
"Karone?"
I turn to meet Zhane's worried emerald eyes. I smile for him. "I'm okay, really."
He responds with his own unique grin, that so easily dispels sadness like the sun chases away shadows at dawn. "I'm expected in Switzerland to greet the new ambassador from Triforia, but I could come up with some excuse..."
What did I ever do to earn the love of a man like him? He'd really do it, he'd really forego his responsibility as representative of KO 35, just for my sake. His tender smile and selfless consideration make it harder to deceive him. Harder, but not impossible.
"No, you go ahead," I assure him, brushing his unshaven cheek with my fingertips. "I'll be fine. Maybe I can do some research and figure out something useful about Guinit for the Galaxy Rangers."
He kisses my forehead. "Then I'll leave you to it."
I smile as he disappears into the bathroom for his morning routine. Soon, he will be leaving for the weeklong conference, leaving me here to my own devices. My gaze lingers on the door as I swallow my guilt and work out a plan of action.
- - -
-Kai-
"...and it used to be a training ground for Dark Specter's elite warriors."
My frown deepens at this unwelcome news. "Then there could be pockets of formidable warriors still on Guinit. We might run into heavy resistance."
Cassie shakes her head. "I don't think so, Kai. Karone is confident that all the skilled warriors were used in the Countdown, and therefore were purged of evil by Zordon's energy wave."
Of course, Karone would know. She was the one that mobilized Dark Specter's armies and nearly wiped out the populations of Earth, Triforia, and Aquitar.
Most people are ignorant of the fact that Queen Astronema, the most deadly of all Earth's invaders, still lives... in the form of a guiltless Kerovan immigrant.
I
didn't know it, until the topic came up in a conversation between Maya and Ashley during the brief interlude between the Psycho Ranger threat and that nightmare on Rashon. Maya told Kendrix, Kendrix told me... and I was so shocked I couldn't even speak.She was never tried for her evil acts. She was never found innocent or guilty by a panel of objective jurors. She never made amends for the pain she caused, for the blood her armies spilled in the Countdown, and before.
The Countdown turned cities into war zones, buildings into rubble, and children into orphans. But I guess Andros and the other Space Rangers figure that, since they were the ones to stop the Countdown, they have the right to determine Astronema's fate?
I'll be damned before I agree to that.
"Kai?"
My mind is straying from the subject. "Sorry about that, Cassie. Thanks for all the help."
She offers a smile; and I'm relieved she's still able to do it. When she left Terra Venture a few days ago, she was completely broken by Kendrix's death. Now she knows that Kendrix is still alive, and it's lifted a weight off her.
Though she's still far from at peace. Now she's driven by a sore conscience and a heavy heart to do everything in her power to help Kendrix complete her mission.
Just like me.
"Good luck, Kai. I'll be back in touch if I find out anything more. Keep me posted, okay?"
I salute Cassie Chan, one of the six legendary Space Rangers. "You got it. And good luck with your mission as well."
A rueful grin. "Now that we have some good news about Kendrix, maybe I can actually think about my mission again."
She waves before switching off the communicator, leaving me alone.
I don't waste any time. We have the background information we need to plan a course of action. Damon has primed the Megaship's engines, carving nearly six hours off our projected travel time. Mike has convinced Commander Stanton that we need to go on an away mission, and the commander has learned to trust Mike enough to grant us all leave.
Each minute we linger here is a precious. Kendrix warned us that evil was already pressing itself upon the Saber, and I won't let anything happen to it.
"Damon," I state into my wrist communicator, "are we ready?"
"Ready, willing, and able! Maya and I have been working on another project I think you'll like. Now we can program the Megaship scanners to isolate the power signature of a Quasar Saber."
"How is that possible?"
"We recorded the energy reading of that vortex from Rashon. Maya helped me tease out the Saber's energy from that amalgam."
"Good news. Now we can scan the planet surface from orbit, and lock in on the Saber. We'll find it in no time!"
"We're coming up to the bridge now,"
Maya says. "Are Mike and Leo there?""I just spoke to Mike. He'll be here any minute... hopefully with Leo."
The frustration in my voice must've been obvious, for Maya adds, "He's going through a lot, Kai. Losing Kendrix has been particularly hard on him."
Like hell it has! Does Maya seriously think Leo is the only person to love Kendrix?
We've been friends since we both joined the GSA. We were inseparable in our Academy days, helping each other get through tough exams and challenging assignments. She's the only person who really understands me, who doesn't just write me off as a cold jerk. She's like a sister to me... the only family I have left.
I turn off the communicator without another word. I don't feel like explaining myself, and there's really nothing left to say.
A few minutes later, Mike steps through the sliding doors, with Leo standing just behind him. The open disappointment on our leader's face says more than words.
"No luck with the Galaxy Book," I note.
"I read through all the translated text with a fine-toothed comb," Leo mutters. "No mention of the Nexus."
"There's still a lot of ground to cover," Mike noted. "The Science team has only translated a fraction of the book."
I can't believe Mike is actually encouraging Leo to waste more time. Personally, I think that damn Galaxy Book should be burned for all the trouble it caused us. Trakeena's tried to snatch it time and again, knowing it contains deadly spells and galactic secrets that could very well kill us all. If Kendrix hadn't been leafing through, she wouldn't have found out about the Savage Sword. She'd still be here now...
"We're wasting time," I growl, my helpless frustration making me even less tolerant than usual. I make my way to navigation, reviewing the journey Mike and I extrapolated as the most efficient route. "Let's go."
- - -
-Karone-
A strange urge draws my attention to a small porthole to my right. Through the thick glass pane I can make out the Earth, hanging like a sapphire in a blanket of black velvet, teeming with countless varieties of life.
I've seen this view a thousand times from the Dark Fortress, but I never gave it much thought. I never appreciated life. Now, I cherish it, as something beautiful and priceless, and so very fragile.
So fragile... after only a day of occupation by my armies, the Earth was forever marked. I can't remove the scars from the millions of lives I touched. I can't mend the millions of hearts I've broken, or erase the nightmares from the millions of minds that remember the Countdown vividly.
And that's only the Earth. When I try to imagine the pain and suffering of all the other planets... the scale of destruction is simply dizzying.
I must do all I can, though, to make amends. That's why I'm leaving. Please... understand.
"Mission control to Kerova-C. Miss Karone, how're things up there?"
"All systems optimal," I respond, reading the status systems with my full attention. "Preparing for Hyperdrive."
"Good luck, Miss."
And then my last tie to Earth is severed.It was absurdly easy to leave. It took only three hours' notice for NASADA to prepare one of the Kerovan flyers for launch. The dozen small starships were a gift from KO 35, acknowledging the aid the Rangers of Earth had offered them. The Rangers, of course, offered the ships to NASADA, who salivated at the prospect of investigating the advanced technology exposed to them.
The director of NASADA was eager to help me when I explained that the Rangers needed my help. The Rangers had often responded to his calls for aid, whenever a threat was detected or a satellite damaged. Even before that, he let the Turbo Rangers commandeer the prototype interplanetary shuttle.
Now, a mere eight hours after I received Cassie's call, I'm programming the Hyperdrive for Onyx.
The Galaxy Rangers are already heading for Guinit, and given the advanced engines of the Megaship, they should arrive just as quickly as I could, even though Guinit is in this sector of the galaxy. However, I can't shake my concern that perhaps what they seek is no longer on Guinit.
All the warriors are gone; I'm positive of that. My strategy was to utilize all of Dark Specter's warriors, even those new to training. I wanted to overwhelm the Federated Planets, and even several teams of Rangers would be hard pressed to combat the legions of mutants and mages who swore their lives to the United Alliance of Evil. They were all used in the Countdown, and they were all neutralized.
However, the merchants are very likely still on Guinit. Surely most of them have already left, given the erosion of their market, but if anyone lives on Guinit, he is surely a merchant. And what would a merchant do with one of the mythical Quasar Sabers of Mirinoi?
Sell it.
And where can a merchant find someone willing to purchase the signature weapon of a fallen Power Ranger?
Only on Onyx, the axis of netherworld commerce.
I could've told Cassie about my suspicions, but she's already en route to the Jyntarah system. It would take a solid week for them to backtrack to Onyx, which isn't very far from here. The Galaxy Rangers could make it much sooner, but there is still very good reason to travel to Guinit to investigate. I wouldn't send them on a potentially fruitless mission, and have them lose valuable time on a hunch.
I'm the only candidate. Fate has chosen me for this mission.
Zhane wouldn't understand that.
After all this time, he still sees me as the innocent victim Andros always remembered me as. The girl who would've been a scholar. He truly thinks Astronema is gone, though he assures me that he loves the "real" me, that pure inner self that survived a decade in Dark Specter's court.
I know he loves me. To him, I am precious and fragile, and he will do everything in his power to protect me.
He doesn't see me clearly.
If I'd told him my intentions, he would've tried to dissuade me. He would've yelled, I would've yelled back... and perhaps we might have said things we would regret. He would try to guilt me into staying, reminding me that Andros is risking his life to protect me. Reminding me that I am not a Ranger, and am not expected to fight.
I know this will hurt him. He will soon discover that I've left; he might already suspect. He may even try to follow me, but by the time he catches up, I will hopefully have completed this mission and restored the Galaxy Rangers. He will be angry that I deceived him, and horrified that took such a risk... but I'm confident he will forgive me if I return alive and unharmed. Perhaps, he might even be proud of me.
I remove my safety harness, and stretch my stiffened muscles. In a few hours I will be on Onyx, and I have to prepare myself.
A few strides bring me to my bag, which is pathetically small and half-empty. I unearth neatly folded black vinyl, leather boots, and a silver brassier.
My heart races as I carefully don the ensemble that was my signature since Ecliptor deemed me old enough to dress as I pleased. It disturbs me how easily I fit into the glove-tight outfit. As if all the internal changes I've experienced over my year of freedom should rightly be reflected physically.
My limbs are stiff with tension as I unfold a compact mirror, and set to work. I cake on the layers of makeup one at a time, creating a mask just as obscure as Zhane's helmet.
The process takes me nearly an hour, for each application is cautiously scrutinized. My mask must portray all the viciousness that embodied my former self. If the mercenaries and marauders on Onyx even suspect that I am no longer the dread Princess of Evil, then I will never leave the planet alive.
Finally, I am satisfied with my appearance. My skin is flawless, without even a hint of a freckle. My eyes are exaggerated with liner and false lashes, and bold strokes of shadow add a severity to my blue eyes that isn't truly there. My lips are plumped with heavy lipstick, all the better to sneer with.
I set the makeup down with unsteady hands. The sight of... her... in the mirror makes my stomach roll. It's so easy to remember all that I did... what I would still do, if I fell into the temptation of the Darkness again.
Now, for the final touch. I reach for the sleek black wig I'd selected for this mission. Before, my magical skill manipulated my hair with ease, but now I refuse to resort to such methods.
I knot my own hair back, and slide the wig over my head.
I look into the mirror, and muster my most wicked smirk. A chill creeps up my spine as Astronema looks back at me, ice in her eyes and venom in her grin.
My transformation is complete.
To Be Continued...
