Hey, Khateley here. Before we start, just a heads up the first part is mostly about the Euphoric Response and so some [mild] sexual themes so I p much wanna inform you about it just in case, Skip to the second scene if you don't like sexual themes.


God, the Mainframe's obsessed with the euphoria.

Wheatley shivered at the thought of it. Yeah, the euphoria was nice 'n' all but it wasn't his, well, it just wasn't his0 forte. He enjoyed it the first few rounds but it wasn't at all fun when it progressed. There was an unsettling tingling feeling that crawled through his processors starting from his neck then to his back then branching out to the entirety of his android body. All the tingly feeling and the pleasure he felt, the blissful feeling washing anything he was thinking 'bout, the impact on him was a bit too much and he wanted to avoid it as much as possible. Maybe if he just didn't give the Mainframe the idea of trying to test the lady again just for the sake of giving the euphoria another go...

"Oooh, Here it comes. Heeeeree it comes!"

Wheatley braced himself for another wave of euphoria. But to his surprise, he felt nothing. Maybe this time the Mainframe hogged the euphoria all for himself.

"Oh," the Mainframe grumbled in a displeased tone. "Disappointin'."

Wheatley guffawed at the Mainframe's reaction. Just the sense of the Mainframe being disappointed really made him laugh. Served 'im right, anyway. Wheatley thought to himself as his laughter died down.

"What?" the Mainframe snapped at him and started glaring at Wheatley. "What's so funny?"

Wheatley shrugged and shifted his weight on one of his feet. "I dunno. 'S just that you not gettin' your, uh, euphoria was funny."

The Mainframe looked at him in disbelief. "How is it funny? You have to admit it's the most wonderful feeling in the world." He told Wheatley, floating into a dream-like state. The Mainframe's lips broke into a crooked smile which oddly didn't look any like Wheatley's smile. It was creepy and so foreign it was as if he wasn't looking at himself.

"Okay, mate, stop," Wheatley said, waving his hands. "Just stop. For one bloody moment. Stop 'n' think 'bout what you're doing." He remarked to his clone, bluntly pointing his finger at him. "You're, uh, you're attached to the euphoric response. It's, um, what did the database, oh. Yeah, hm. The response is a lot like, a lot like... uh."

"Spit it out already!"

"It's like sex." Wheatley replied blatantly. "You're bloody adicted to sex so basically you're a whore, mate."

If the Mainframe's reaction a while ago was funny, this time it was priceless. He stared at Wheatley in a mixture of shock, rage and embarrassment.

"No." Mainframe croaked, shaking his head, refusing to believe what Wheatley had just told him. Oh! He just had a brainwave. Prob'ly he c'n trick the Mainframe into stopping the testing. Brillant! Now he just had to say it and blam! How could he mess this up, it was perfect!

"Oh abso-bloody-lutely yes! You're a bloody whore and prob'ly an arse as well for not knowing that! Reflect on what you've been doin' 'n' if you try shoving it in my face that what you're doing is fine 'nd that you should keep on doin' it, I will-"

Oh no...

Mainframe stared blankly at Wheatley for a second. During that time, Wheatley hoped that the Mainframe was just malfunctioning.

"You know what? I think I'll keep on testing the test subject." The Mainframe then abruptly dismissed him

"Well, shit," Wheatley snarled at himself. Apparently that didn't go well. The one chance he got, ruined. Argh! Why did he have to be such a moron?

Wheatley watched the test subject upside down, lazily swaying his arms, momentarily stopping from time to time. He wasn't in trouble or something. He was just lazing around despite the fact that the facility was going to explode. Well, he did panic earlier but it was just one of those moments where you have grown not to care about anything when you were simply bored. He almost even fell asleep. But the shattering of glass and the scandalous screams of the Mainframe ranting about the broken monitor shook him awake.

"They're not even your screens to break!" The Mainframe yelled, exasperated, flailing his arms and almost hitting Wheatley on the face. Wheatley, on the other hand, tried to bite the Mainframe's hand with the purpose of trying to bait Mainframe into an argument so that he can put his plan into work. His perfect scheme. Hah! Nothing could go wrong this time! Third time's a charm, eh? "It's vandalism. It's pure vandalism. You wouldn't do this if this was your house, would you? If I came around to your house smashin' your telly to bits, you'd be furious. And rightly so. Unbelievable."

The Mainframe once again flailed and this time Wheatley successfully bit his fingers.

"ARGH!" He yelled, turning around to face Wheatley. Only that Wheatley wasn't there and that he started to look around him wildly. Wheatley laughed loudly and brought himself down in front of the Mainframe who looked a bit shocked but angry nonetheless. "What was that about?!"

"What's what 'bout?" Wheatley inquired, a bit too innocently.

"Why did you bite me?!"

Wheatley shrugged. "Because it's a great idea to do?" He replied with a smirk. "Just like not listenin' to me."

The Mainframe narrowed his eyes and bore his teeth, all which were not pointed so it was in no way dangerous. "You want me to do it to you?"

"Yup!" Wheatley replied enthusiastically, offering his hand to the Mainframe. He opened his mouth to bite Wheatley but quickly withdrew himself. "You know what? I won't." He announced. "I won't bite you."

"That's not fine!" Wheatley whined and he put up his best disappointed face, trying his best to keep his triumphant smirk from showing. Mainframe growled at him and turned his attention back to the test subject again.

Third time's a charm.


I never bothered to even update this thing because I thought no one gave a damn about this! But nooo! Someone did! AND IT WAS ONE OF MY IDOLS OMG

Like you do not even know how flattering this is to me. And so I decided on working on this chapter.

Yeah, short I know, but the best I can do in the midst of school and tests AND JUST THE ANXIETY OF WAITING FOR OUR RED LETTER DAY TO COME ASDFGHJKL