Chapter 4
Lost
"What?" said Carter, who then realized that he shouldn't have kissed Abby right then. Then Carter stepped away from Abby and moved closer to the door, unsure what to say to Abby after kissing her and her rejecting him. He knew that he shouldn't have kissed her when she was so vulnerable, but he just couldn't wait any longer. But I guess she isn't over Luka, Carter thought to himself.
Abby looked up at Carter, and could see the hurt in his eyes, like nothing she has ever seen before, and that was all because of her. "John, don't go," said Abby as Carter was getting ready to leave.
"Why not? I can see that you are not over Luka," Carter said angrily.
" John, this has nothing to do with Luka. This is about me," Abby explained firmly. " I love you, John. You are the one I want to be with, but I just can't do it right now." Abby then started to walk away from Carter, so he wouldn't have to see the pain that she was going through by rejecting him when she needed him the most.
"Why not?" asked Carter
"John, I need to get myself together before I even think about having a relationship," replied Abby softly. Carter looks up at Abby.
"Abby, I love you too. I like you the way that you are, you don't need to change one thing about you" said Carter, smiling.
"John, I know you do, but this is more for me to figure out for myself" said Abby. Her tone changed and she added, "I think it would be best if you just leave." Before I change my mind thought Abby.
"Fine," said Carter. Abby watched as Carter left her apartment in a huff. Why did I just snap at John, he stayed here all night because I was scared. Abby was on her way to tell John that she was sorry when she saw that he was already gone.
"Great " Abby mumbled to herself. When she got back to her place, she could swear that she could smell something burning, and that is when she saw that the bacon was burning. "Damn it!" Abby screamed as she fell on to the floor crying.
**
Carter drove around the block, as he was still angry about Abby that he didn't want to go to work like this. Carter could see her voice saying "Not yet" after he kissed her. Did she really mean it when she said that she just need time to get herself together - or was that another way to say that she wants to be with Luka not Carter. Carter was just about arrive at County General, when he saw Abby walk past him. He waited until she was gone before he walked into the hospital. What am I going to say to her when I see her, thought Carter.
Carter then got of his jeep, and walked into the ER trying his best to avoid Abby.
Then he saw her short dark brown hair from afar, and quickly moved into the nearest exam room that he could find. Susan who was at the admit desk, saw Carter escaping into the exam room, and wondered why. She decided to go see what was wrong. Carter heard someone open the door.
"Oh great, just what I need" thought Carter. He looked up to see his ex-girlfriend looking straight at him.
"John, are you okay?" asked Susan, visibly concerned.
"Yeah I'm fine," nodded Carter.
"John, I know something is wrong," Susan replied firmly. "It's Abby, isn't it?"
"Yeah" said Carter. " I kissed her last night."
"So how come you aren't happy about that?" asked Susan.
Carter looked up at Susan. "Well, she said that she needed time to sort herself out before she committed to a relationship with me."
"Oh," Susan replied. Carter could see that Susan didn't understand the whole picture, so he decided to tell her about Abby's addiction.
" Susan, you have to promise not to tell anyone about what I just told you," said Carter. He knew that Abby didn't want anybody to know.
"Okay," Susan nodded. "John you must really love her."
"Yeah, I do, and I guess I have you to thank for that. If you hadn't made me realize that I still loved Abby, I don't know if I would have figured it out," Carter said brightly.
"I know you would have," smiled Susan. Carter then went and hugged Susan.
"Thanks for being such a great friend," he said.
"No problem. We'll always be friends," Susan said, as Kerry entered the exam room.
"We need you out here," Kerry said.
"We're coming," they both said, as they followed Kerry out of the Exam Room. Abby then came into the Trauma room to see if they need any help.
"John, can I help you?" asked Abby softly. Carter then looked out when he heard Abby's voice.
"No, we are fine," said Susan, who could see that Carter wasn't ready to talk to Abby yet. Abby left the room then looked through the glass at Carter, and their eyes met. There was something different about Carter. There was sadness in his eyes that weren't there before. I made him like that, Abby thought to herself.
Abby then went and sat outside on the bench. She took out her pack of cigarettes and lit one of them. Why does my life have to suck so much? The guy that I have wanted for so long finally kissed me and what did I say to him? "Not yet". How could I do that, Abby thought.
***
Meanwhile inside the ER:
"John, why don't you go after her?" Susan asked.
"Susan, I don't think that would be a good idea," Carter replied.
"Fine, but just remember that Abby needs you more than she has ever before. John just go outside. I'll finish up with this trauma, and if Kerry asks for you, I'll say you went on your break " said Susan forcefully.
"Okay, Susan you're right as usual," laughed Carter, as he exited the trauma room.
Abby was still sitting on the bench outside of Cook County General, when Carter came out.
"I thought you quit smoking," said Carter, as he noticed the cigarette she was holding.
"I try to, but I always seem to start again," replied Abby, as she threw the cigarette on the ground.
"Abby, I need to talk to you," said Carter.
"Okay" said Abby quietly.
Susan watched from the lounge window, the conversation between Abby and Carter, and started to smile. I guess he did listen to me, she thought.
"Susan, we need you out here," said Luka.
"Okay, I'm coming," she replied.
"Susan, have you seen Abby anywhere?" asked Luka, as they were leaving the lounge.
"I think she's on her break," Susan answered.
"Oh," said Luka.
***
Abby and Carter walked to Doc Magoos in silence, unsure what to say to each other. Each one wanted to say something but decided against it.
Carter slid into the bench closest to them when they enter Doc Magoos. "Abby, come on and sit down." Abby then took the seat across from Carter, and he took her hand. "Abby, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have left your apartment in such a huff. I was just upset."
"No, I'm the one that should be sorry," replied Abby. "I just didn't know what I would do if you ever left me. You're my best friend, and I guess I thought it would be better if we stayed that way." Abby then started to play nervously with her napkin.
"Abby, please just give us a chance, I love you and I would never hurt you," said Carter.
Abby looked at Carter. "John, I just don't know," replied Abby, trying to avoid the stare that he was giving her.
"Please…. you will not regret " said Carter with the look in his eyes that made Abby realized that just maybe he was right.
"Okay," said Abby as she lean over and kissed him.
"Excuse me, what can I get for you?" asked the waitress right in front of them. Abby and Carter looked up. "Two coffees and a cherry pie."
"Got it," nodded the waitress as she put her pad back into her apron.
"Abby are you working tomorrow?" asked Carter.
"Yeah I have the early shift," said Abby.
"Well, how would you like to go on a date with me?" Carter asked sweetly.
" I would love to" smiled Abby, as her pager in her pocket started to go off. Abby looked at Carter, and realized that just maybe everything would be okay. She took the pager out of her scrubs, and looked at it and saw that the ER needed her.
"The ER needs me," she told Carter.
"Okay," smiled Carter. "I'll walk back with you." Carter as he kissed her again, then left a couple of bills for the waitress, who smiled back at them.
"There is a great couple," whispered the waitress to her co-worker. Carter opened the door for Abby.
"Thanks" said Abby. As they were leaving Doc Magoos, Carter's pager started to go off as well. " I guess I have to walk back with you, " laughed Carter. Carter and Abby held hands while walking back.
TO BE CONTINUED
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