Hey guys, Murayama Tsuru here. I just realized that I'm doing a similar story as Sorachi-Sensei did (like my last Abuto story…except not really). I haven't really been reading Gintama online recently so I had no idea that that gorilla had Gin-chan and Hijikata switch bodies, pretty cool man. I guess Sorachi and I create stories on similar wavelengths; it's no wonder I write so much for this series ^_^. Well, let's get to the chapter then, shall we ^_^
Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama; it belongs to Sorachi Hideaki-Sensei.
Abuto woke up groggy, bleary eyed, and confused; he didn't remember his room being this big before. There was also an incessant pounding at his door and an oddly familiar voice was yelling extremely loudly, "Admiral, get up! You're going to be late for that meeting with the Kiheitai!"
Even more confused, Abuto wanted to reply, 'What are you talking about? I'm not the admiral…at times I do more work than him, but I'm Abuto.' But then he remembered what happened yesterday and that he was in the admiral's body at the moment. Remembering this, all previous grogginess fell away as he realized he did have to meet with the Kiheitai today.
Then Abuto took a look at the clock that was near Kamui's dresser; it read a time a lot latter than Abuto was used to getting, which explained the grogginess he'd felt upon waking. Being as old as he was (except not really), and working for Kamui as he did, Abuto was used to waking up at an unfortunately early hour to either tend to his boss or because he couldn't fall asleep anymore (usually both).
Feeling rushed, Abuto cursed Kamui for not telling him when, exactly, this stupid meeting was taking place and the fact that he was now young enough to sleep in so late. And now he had to find wherever Kamui put his clothes. 'It's just annoyance upon annoyance this morning' Abuto thought with irritation as he looked through Kamui's stuff.
After about a minute, there was a bang and Abuto turned to see the door slam open and Abuto came face to face with himself (it was still a very weird sensation). Kamui, smiling menacingly, said, "Admiral, when you didn't answer the door I got worried. So, I decided to come in myself. What's taking so long?"
Abuto rolled his eyes at that, "Well, it seems I can't find anything to wear to this meeting; maybe it's memory loss again."
"I certainly doubt that." Kamui replied with a smile. He then went over to the opposite side of the room that Abuto had been looking, opened a drawer, and pulled some clothes out. Kamui then turned to Abuto, smile still in place and said, "But, to aid the process of you getting to that meeting in time, here you are. I hope your memory improves, admiral, or we might have to take you to a doctor, won't we?"
Abuto scoffed, "I'll whack you in the head with a cast-iron skillet before I let that happen." He'd had up to hear with Kamui's smile (he was still tired, after all), it almost made him look forward to meeting with Takasugi Shinsuke…almost.
As Abuto changed into new clothes, he said to his boss, "So, you neglected to tell me what time this 'strategy session' was. Is there a reason for that?"
Kamui made a noise that sounded like verbal shrug, "Dunno, I guess I just forgot that you were the one going and not me. But, either way, you have about five minutes to get there. Better start running."
Abuto rolled his eyes once more as he finished securing his cape, "Thanks for the advice," Abuto said sardonically, "I guess I'll have to take it since you didn't tell me when I had to wake up."
Picking up his umbrella, Abuto turned to Kamui one last time and said, "Don't forget to do those taxes, 'Abuto'. They're due soon, after all."
Kamui gave a noncommittal wave of his hand, "Yeah, yeah, I'll get to it. First, though, I have to take nap. Did you know you have your alarm set for some ungodly hour? Because you forgot to reset it, you'll have to get yourself a new one, I accidently smashed it when it wouldn't stop beeping."
Abuto sighed as stepped out of Kamui's room, "Why don't you do that for me, admiral? You are the one who broke it after all."
Kamui tapped a finger against his chin in thought, "I'll see what I can do. But for now, you have to get going."
"Yeah, yeah," Abuto said, "I'm going." And Abuto took off running at top speed in the direction of the Kiheitai's ship.
Takasugi Shinsuke tapped his foot in annoyance; Kamui was late to their strategy session and Takasugi wasn't happy about that. They had planned this meeting weeks and now the red-headed Yato had the gall to stand him up? If the Harusame Space Pirates weren't so necessary for his plan to destroy Edo, then Takasugi would have ditched them for an insult such as this. But, the Kiheitai needed the Harusame at the moment, so ditching them wasn't an option. If Kamui didn't come soon, Takasugi knew the second thing he would destroy after Edo.
Just as Takasugi was reaching his most impatient, the door to the meeting room opened with a loud clack and in came Kamui, breathing as if he had run from wherever he was before (something that didn't surprise Takasugi at all, as Yato seemed especially dedicated to training of any kind). With an annoyed scowl, Takasugi hissed, "You're late."
Kamui knitted his eyebrows in consternation (Takasugi thought that was pretty weird) and looked at the clock that was behind the Kiheitai's leader. After a moment, Kamui said, a frown creasing his face, "I'm only late by a minute and a half. Why are you so pissed? It's not like I didn't come at all."
Takasugi blinked in surprise, this didn't seem like Kamui at all to sound talk like this; sure the Yato wasn't he most polite being in the universe, but Takasugi didn't remember him sounding so…different. And then, there wasn't that trademark smile, the over gluttonous Yato usually wore. Takasugi was more than a little suspicious.
'Kamui' seemed to realize that he was being out of character as well because a smile that Takasugi didn't feel was quite right appeared on the Yato's face and he amended what he had said, "I mean, I didn't think I was so late as to incur such a reaction; it seems you are as impatient as Hosen-Danna."
That still didn't seem right to Takasugi (and 'Kamui' knew it too), but there was no longer any time for pointless arguments, so Takasugi decided to let it slid this time. With a nod, Takasugi motioned to one of the Zabuton cushions a little ways away and said, "Shall we begin?"
"Yes." 'Kamui' said with a curt nod. The admiral of the Harusame then sad down on one of the cushions and Takasugi sat on the other one. Once the two were seated comfortably, Takasugi took out his Kiseru and lit it.
Taking a long drag on the pipe, Takasugi said, "I have some news about the Ikeda Yaemon."
'Why should the Harusame care about some executioner .' thought, still irritated that he had to be here in the first place. Aloud, he said, (quite disinterestedly), "What is it?"
"The eighteenth has been decapitated and Hitotsubashi Nobunobu has secured his place as leader of the Hitotsubashi clan. Things are running smoothly as planned."
Abuto sighed, it was probably out of character for Kamui, but Abuto really felt he had to air his thoughts on the subject, "What does this matter?" he asked
Takasugi narrowed his eye into a dark glare, "Excuse me?" He hissed, his voice deadly quiet
Abuto sighed again, "All I mean is, despite all your ranting about wanting to destroy Edo, you haven't actually gotten around to doing that. You make all these plans to get high ranking Bakufu officials on your side and in a position of government that will benefit you, but that's it. It seems so long term. It seems to me that you're more invested in changing the government than destroying the city. If your goals have changed, I don't think there's anything wrong with that; but it seems, then, that you no longer need Harusame support if destruction is no longer your main objective."
Abuto knew that this was most likely going to bite him in the ass later, but he really didn't understand what Takasugi was doing, getting in with all these Bakufu people if his goal was destruction. Takasugi did not seem impressed with Abuto's speech as his glare was still in place and more intense than ever.
Takasugi frowned at Abuto, "I never thought I'd hear something like that from you, Kamui. After all, the only thing on your mind seems to be food and a good fight. But, if you must know, my plans all have very important parts in the eventual destruction of Edo. All of my allies agree with me that the Bakufu needs to be changed and that complete annihilation of the current Edo is the path that needs to be taken. If the Harusame no longer think that's true, then maybe this is more of a meeting of severance than a strategy session. Do I make myself clear?"
'As a bell.' Abuto thought, "You misunderstand," the Yato said out loud, "I didn't mean to say that the Harusame will withdraw support, just that you seem to no longer need us if what you want is political gain. It is, after all, completely up to what plans you make with the officials of a government you hope to destroy. We just don't understand where all this is leading. I guess, though, that this is why we're having this meeting; to make clear the details of where you are going with this convoluted plan of yours. And if you're not open to suggestion, then maybe I shouldn't be here."
"Hm," was all Takasugi said as a response, making Abuto worry that he'd really stuck his foot in his mouth this time. Thankfully, though, Takasugi continued speaking, "I suppose you do have a point that even though my plans are so clear to me, they are not as evident to those around me. Maybe it's time you learned more about where I'm going with this."
Just as Abuto was about to agree, his stomach growled loudly, making Abuto remember that he hadn't actually had time for breakfast before he came running down to this meeting. Abuto then heard Takasugi chuckle (a noise that sounded so strange coming from the one-eyed psychopath), followed by a smirk, "Well, I guess it's time we break for lunch, isn't it. I almost forgot how you Yato eat."
Abuto sighed as Takasugi left to go get lunch (Abuto was amazed he didn't have someone to do that for him); at least he would have a short break before he messed things up even further. Kamui was probably having a much better time than Abuto was at the moment; after all, how hard could finding a place to do taxes be?
"What do you mean what schedule are we declared on?" Kamui asked the lady at the tax office, irritation and confusion in his voice; he was not having fun at the moment. After a nice nap and a large meal, Kamui decided it was time to do as Abuto asked and get these taxes done (to prove Abuto wrong when he said no one could do them).
But when he had started them, he had no idea what he was doing; the math would likely be no problem for him, but he didn't understand what exactly the form was asking for. After a while of puzzling over what he had to do, Kamui realized that Abuto was right and he couldn't do it.
With an irritated smile, Kamui left the ship to find some place that did taxes (much to his chagrin). It was hard to find a place, too; every place that Kamui went seemed to shut their doors the second they saw him. Kamui imagined that it had something to do with the fact that he was Harusame, which didn't really surprise the (now) sandy-haired Yato seeing as the Harusame weren't exactly known for their kindness. Nonetheless though, every time Kamui saw a closed sign, his irritation grew more and more. Kamui wasn't sure how Abuto stood doing anything like this (like when Kamui sent him out for food(; it was more than infuriating.
And then, once he'd finally found a place where the people inside didn't seem to jump out of their skins when they saw him approaching, the lady at the front desk asked him that strange question; how the hell was Kamui supposed to know what schedule they declared their taxes on?
With a patient smile, the lady said, "What I mean is, what form do you need to determine how much you owe in taxes?"
That didn't help Kamui at all; again, how was he supposed to know something like that. With a smile of his own, he took out the form that Abuto had given him yesterday and said, "I don't know, but maybe these can help you out?"
Once Kamui handed the lady the tax forms, she looked them over and the blood drained from her face. Once she had finished her look-through of the forms, she looked up at Kamui again and stuttered, "Y-you're Harusame?" Kamui nodded and the lady paled even more, "I-I'm not sure that I c-can help you with these…"
Kamui's smile turned toothy and feral, "I think you'll find you can. If you don't, my boss will find out about it and he will be very displeased. And if Admiral Kamui is displeased, you'll have the whole Harusame Space Pirates swarming this place. Is that what you want?"
Eyes now wide in fear, the lady gulped, "I-I'll get to it right away…I-if you want, you can go get lunch…I'm sure I'll be done by then…"
"Oh, I don't think so," Kamui smiled, "I imagine I'll get better results if I stay right here."
The lady swallowed again, "O-ok, then, I'll get s-started right away…" Kamui's smile widened in response; maybe this wasn't such an infuriating experience after all.
And that is the end of that chapter. Sorry that it's a day late; I was a little busy yesterday and didn't get started until late. Well, I hope it was a good chapter ^_^ and I hope to see you again in the next one. As always, if you'd like please leave a review, I love to know what you guys think ^_^
-村山鶴
