Hey it's me :) I'm back I'm not sure how good this is. I'm having second thoughts about this chapter but I promised I'd be back today so... here it is. Hope you guys like it. I appreciate those of you who have added this story to alert and favorites. I also would like to thank the person who added me to favorite author. Anyway hope you guys like this chapter.

Over the next several weeks all I did was get drunk. I didn't really pay attention to what it was I was drinking anything would do vodka, rum, beer anything. I got a fake ID so it was easy to get alcohol. There was this bar I liked to go to and although they were reluctant at first they gave in.

The owner of the bar, Tanya , knew me pretty well now it's kinda pathetic. I know it's not healthy but who cares nothing mattered anymore. Life for me was over. Nothing mattered not since Bella left me. I was broken beyond repair and now I didn't care about anything anymore. I knew that Emmet and Anna were worried and they had tried to talk to me but I didn't want to listen because I knew there wasn't any other way I would be able to continue living if I was sober. It was cowardly I know but I needed it.

The day I went to see Bella she had made it clear that she didn't love me anymore and that she didn't want to see me again. She had found someone else. I still needed her though, so I called her every night. She never answered of course but her voice through voice mail was enough for me.

The need to hear her voice once again over whelmed me and I dialed her number.

" hey it's Bella, sorry I couldn't answer your call but please leave a message and I'll call you soon... bye"

" Bella it's me... I love you... please... please I needed you. Life without you is meaningless... please Bella" a sob broke through and I couldn't speak anymore. I faintly heard the operator telling me my time was up so I hung up.

" come one sweety I think it's time for you to go.. You've had enough for tonight." it was Tanya.

" come on I'll even take you home" she said smiling while coming over

" no.. no I'm fine.. I need more.. I need to forget" I said slurring a bit

she snorted " yeah right I bet you can't even walk straight on your own anymore"

" yes I can ...look" I said while standing up. I stumbled and landed on my chair again

she looked amused " yeah I see. Come on"

I didn't argue this time and let her take me to my car. I had been here so many times that she knew my car and where I lived. I looked over at her... she was pretty I guess. She had long hair like bella but Tanya's was blonde and not as long. She had a slender figure and her nose sometimes reminded me of

Bella's. Aside from that they were they were different.

" what" she asked when she noticed that I was looking at her.

" nothing you just remind me of her" she knew who I was talking about.

" please don't compare me with her. Someone who makes you suffer like this isn't someone I want to be compared with"

" don't talk about her like that she's a good person" I said

" yeah I'm sure she is"

" she just fell in love with someone else it's not her fault" she looked like she was about to argue but I continued before she could talk " I still love her so please..."

]

" oh I know you love her. I see you killing yourself every night over her" she said sadly

I ignored her, comments like those always made me feel guilty. I knew that I was hurting those around me with what I was doing but I couldn't stop. If I stopped now the pain would be worse and it would consume me. It would take revenge by eating me whole.

" I was talking about how nice you are. She... she was very nice...until you know... she dumped me. Oh! And your nose too" I finished smiling because I knew it would bug her

" great! I really liked my nose now I'm going to have to get a nose job" she turned to look at me and said " thanks Edward you're a real friend" she finished sarcastically

we looked at each other for a couple of minutes before laughing. It felt good to laugh. Being with Tanya always made me feel a slightly bit better. It was silent for the rest of the way home.

" here we are" she said pulling up to my house

" yeah you found it"

she snorted " yeah been here so many times over the last few weeks that I bet I could get here blind folded"

I just smiled

she got out of the car and help me get out. I leaned against the car while she locked the doors and looked at her. When she felt my gaze she turned and held my gaze.

" Tanya would you ever consider going out with me" I asked

" well... you are cute... and you seem nice...so if I wasn't married I would" she said smiling

I smiled back sadly

"Then why doesn't she want me?" I asked as tears spilled over

" I don't know Edward" she said pulling me into a hug

when I recovered she said " come on sweety lets get you to bed"

"You sound like my mom" I said chuckling a little

" WOW! Edward you are just filled with WONDERFUL compliments for me today aren't you" she said before chuckling herself. I chuckled again as she rang the door bell.

It was Anna who answered. She looked relieved that I was finally home and concerned because I was drunk again. I ignored the latter and hugged her.

" hi Anna, have I ever told you how pretty you are?"

She didn't look amused

" I'm glad you're home Edward. Was that your idea of sucking up?"

"Yes" I said. I laid my head on her shoulder

" well you can stop now... it's not working and it never will. You're lucky Emmet isn't here or else..."

" yeah he's just full of compliments tonight...bad ones though" Tanya looked a bit uncomfortable

" oh he was complementing you too?"

" yeah I went from looking like her to sounding like his mother"

Anna let out a laugh and then turned to me and said "Edward honey do I need to go over how to give GOOD complements...again?"

"Wait you had to give him a lesson on complements?" Tanya said cracking up

I felt Anna smile probably recalling the memory

" yes when he was around 8 years old he told a girl she was as cute as a hamster" I heard Tanya laugh again " apparently he thought it was nice since all the girls in his class liked the class pet. She was a little older and she didn't like being compared to a rat" I heard them both laugh.

" glad to be entertaining" I mumbled. I was getting sleepy. They just laughed harder.

After they had calmed down I heard Tanya say that she should get going. I opened my eyes and she was looking at me " Edward don't take this the wrong way but I really hope I don't see you again. Hope you don't come by the bar" she turned but Anna stopped her and told her that she had called a cab for her.

" you bring him home almost every night" Anna said sadly " since I hadn't gotten a call I figured someone was bringing him home"

They were both quiet after that and after a while Tanya helped Anna take me to my room. Last thing I heard was " bye Edward" before sleep took over.

well that was it. Poor Edward is Suffering right now :(