"All right men," said Ben, walking up and down the table like a drill sergeant, "and chicks, Offender is still a free bottom-bitch! Ain't none of you managed to punish him yet after Eyeless Jack's attempted rape! What's goin' on?!"

His fellow Creepypastas stared at him, some bored out of their mind, some finding the wall and clock pretty interesting, and some stared off into space away with the fairies. Jeff looked down at whimpering Smile, he hadn't received any sleep since the past few days. Offender had been jacking off like his life depended on it, his loud moans nearly shattered the windows as it rumbled throughout the building, shaking its foundation. Nobody got any sleep. Jeff actually began to cry at four in the morning, begging to be put to rest.

He looked over at Grandma Goat Legs, also known as Joyce- her eyes were blood shocked and red from exhaustion. Well, she deserved such treatment, but not him! Now only his winning smile kept him going.

A line of drool hung at the crack of Laughing Jack's lip, he would be fast asleep if Ben didn't honk his horn every morning. He also would be sleeping in bed until five in the evening if Ben didn't get a musical triangle, ring it throughout the floors and scream, "Up, bitches! Up, bitches!"

Masky, Hoodie and Toby were all over the place. Toby snorted sugar and went wild yesterday, wrecking furniture and beating his chest. "Jesus Christ mah mutherfuckin' man, what up bruh?!" Masky went mental and wrecked Offender's bedroom, the biggest offence was destroying all of Offender's blow up dolls and blocking the toilet trying to flush them down. Hoodie had several unsuccessful murder attempts. At least he got to put a ton of laxatives in his coffee.

Tails tried blasting out the Backstreet Boys in an attempt to drive Offender to madness, but it didn't work. Slender also told him to shut up. Jane tried luring him into a trap the Creepypastas set up but he got distracted by a sexy horse. Bob was told to try to bust Offender's nuts in but accidentally hit Slender, unleashing hell onto the manor for three days.

Ben yelled, "Bet Offender's getting a kick outta this!" He sighed and folded his arms. "Well, Grandma Goat Legs and Rake are the last pair to go. Try not to kill each other." The frenemies left with Rake mumbling about killing himself before anyone else.

They reached the living room but were stopped by Slender. "Where are you two going?" He had been on high alert after all these stupid attempts.

Joyce could feel Rake's pride coming back into him, his toothy grin said it all. Rake leaned on her shoulder, smirking at Slender. "Gee Slender, why do you have to keep poking your dick in my eye?"

Slender groaned and let them pass, sick of Rake's bullcrap. Rake high-fived Joyce and the duo made their way into the forest. Rake caught onto Offender's scent and followed it- Joyce was already thinking of a plan.

Ben had Dark Link steal a shotgun- his grey-market had anything- in return for some of Offender's homemade pornos. The Creepypastas had decided to watch it but couldn't last more than one minute before shutting their eyes with super glue or shoving their fingers into their ears. With no eyelids, Jeff was left to weep softly. The regret tormented his soul, the memories all came back to him just as Offender flopped around on the bed like he was trying to balance his entire body on his dick called Barry. Barry was a big and strong fella.

Anyway, Rake finally found the prick sitting on a log, his right hand strangely moving up and down- his body covered the rest of the view. Rake narrowed his eyes. "All right Jojo, take him out."

Joyce rolled her eyes at the annoying nickname and raised the shotgun. She fired and missed. Alarm bells rang out in Offender's head and he dashed into the woods, sending Barry flopping and flying backwards.

Rake screeched at Joyce, who fumbled while reloading, throwing his arms in front of him and jumping on his feet. "Hit him, hit him, hit him, hit him, OH MY GOD!"

Joyce fired again just as Offender teleported- gone.

Rake glared at her. "Great job, bitch-head! I might as well have a heart attack and be done with this!"

Joyce threw the gun on the ground and clenched her fists. "Maybe you shouldn't be such a bad partner."

Rake's fists shook like the gods were powering it up with their holy chant. "Well maybe I wouldn't act so bad if some people didn't sound like Satan smoking a blunt!"

"No fuck you, you nutless motherfucker!"

"At least when we're in crisis, I don't make things worse!"

Joyce grinded her teeth. "W-well, you're just a bum wanker!"

Rake's mouth dropped open, a hand on his heart. "Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse you! I'm not gay, I don't screw other guys in the backside or jerk them off!"

They had a stare off, both focusing on their eyes. Their lips twitched into smiles before they exploded into giggles. Rake gripped his stomach and Joyce's back ached, her cheeks bright red from grinning ear to ear. Rake wheezed, taking minutes to catch his breath, sounding like he was about to suffer an asthma attack. "Oh Jojo, this is why we're friends…"

Joyce leaned on her knees, regaining her energy.

They went on a search for Offender. Neither said anything, usually they would trying nipping each other before breaking into brawl bigger than the pants to fit Offender. Rake finally broke the silence- no doubt he was going on another rant about someone he hated. "You know what really grinds me? When Splendorman puts his ass in my face."

Joyce looked at Rake. "Uh…okay?"

"Yeah," said Rake. "Every single day he comes right up to me, thinking he has some right to do that. No matter how many times I tell him, he doesn't get the message. What should I do?"

"Put your hand on his thigh."

Rake stopped, shooting her a horrified look. "Are you mad?!"

She grinned, holding back a laugh. "I mean it, it makes people extremely uncomfortable. Set your hand on top, say nothing, and look into his eyes."

Rake tapped his mouth for a moment, humming. "Maybe. Maybe that will teach him to give me advice about living a 'happy' life."

Realisation hit Joyce like a mashed potato. That made a whole lot of sense now. Splendorman didn't really turn around and hold it wide open.

After wandering about, they decided head back to the manor- the mission was a failure. When they reached the manor, Rake gave Ben the run down. Ben shook his head, a smug smirk on his face. He had a new idea.

Offenderman yawned, opening his jaw so wide a plate could fit in. His brothers weren't here. He sat on the sofa, kicking up his feet and recharging for the special treatment he was gonna give himself tonight. He saw the door open and Ben look at him, a serious expression on his face, and a hand behind his back.

"Yo dude, we gotta talk."

"If it's about me going after the model Eyeless Jack, nah," said Offender.

Ben shook his head. "No. Like, we're all bros in this house, you know? And we gotta follow the bro code as well, but not like that. All we wanted was some sort of payoff…"

Offender would've blinked, he looked again at Ben's hidden hand. "Um, what's that then?"

Ben shuffled his feet. His red pupils thinned as a smirk crawled up his face. "Oh this? Jack's revenge!" Ben slapped a rotten egg hidden in whipped cream that smelt like millions of farts combined into one bomb onto Offender's face. Offender snarled.

Leaping from behind a chair, Rake grabbed Ben. Racing up the stairs faster than a motorbike, he clambered up the attic's ladder when hearing Offender's fat thumps from his feet grow louder. Safe, Laughing Jack closed the door and set a bucket of boiling water on top.

Offender yanked the string and the water scalded his head, a loud scream of anger and pain vibrating through the walls. Clothes and face ruined- this was war. He dashed up the ladder.

The three Creepypastas leapt onto a really tall ladder outside, supported by Masky, Hoodie and Toby. Rake and Laughing Jack went first. Ben turned around and saw Offender with his arms out to grab him. Ben gestured for the guys to pull him away from the window so he was upright in air. As he moved back, he gave Offender the middle finger.

Offender roared and slammed his fist against the wall, running downstairs to catch them. His coat flowed in the wind, now all he needed was hair. Ripping the door off its hinges, Jane and Joyce pulled a rope. Offender tripped and fell. The air horns cried like angels, the piano played a sombre tune, the world shedding a single tear. A heart beat in the distance as Offender's isolation consumed him.

Falling…

Falling from grace.

And face first into green paint. The Pastas tied a rope around his ankles, and pulled him up into the air, the pulley squeaking as they heaved as one. Jeff laughed about how he was glad Offender had pants on. Everyone applauded each other. Ben approached Offender with Eyeless Jack beside him, arms crossed.

"So 'bro'," said Ben, admiring his nails. "You stay from all of us, otherwise well take it up a notch. Ain't that right, boys?"

The Pastas murmured. Ben nodded in approval. "Welp, we'll be back at sundown, don't pass out on us."

Hours later, the Pastas were back to their usual routine with the group– Bob, Rake, Joyce and Tails- at the centre of the banisters. Tails joked that they were the dumbest people alive, considering they tried to lead an army of chickens into the manor. Now, they opted to asking questions.

Joyce sighed with joy, "Okay, I got one. What would you do if you saw the slender brothers shirtless?"

Rake thought for a moment, a smile plastered on his face. "Projectile vomit."

They laughed like friends who'd known each other for years. Bob couldn't help but smile too. "You know they'll be at each other's necks tomorrow, Tails."

"Yeah." He waved Bob off. "But I prefer this- rapist hangs like pig in the slaughter house, and the frenemies share a crackin' time! And we're all get a good night's sleep too."

Slenderman burst through the door and the room fell silent. "Why's my brother hanging upside down like some sort of sick piñata?!"

Ben shrugged and returned to his video game. "Damn dude, I just don't know. I think it was divine intervention."

Hours later, Slender stood in his office gazing out the window. Dusk had arrived and with it a golden hue and pink clouds across the sky. Trees fluttered in harmony with the breeze. Birds returned to their homes for the evening. The large windows granted this elegant view. Perhaps one of the many reasons who could find peace within himself.

A knock from the other side slid into his invisible ears. "Come in." No need to look behind him, he knew the slender had arrived. Slender stood still, the light shining on him.

The slender behind him was quiet. "Slenderman…" he murmured. The room was cosy, books neatly placed in shelves, lights off in favour of the natural yet ever fading sun rays, and pictures decorating the walls.

"So you showed up," said Slenderman. "Please, have a seat." Slender turned and sat in his chair. It was clear that his worn face only harboured misery and defeat. Even with no eyes, it was apparent the weight he carried beat him without mercy. The responsibilities grew heavy on his back, forcing his feet to dig into the dirt of this narrow dry path he walked upon.

The slender wore a navy blue suit and had narrowed eyes, with teeth too big for his mouth. "I th-"

"HAVE A FUCKING SEAT!"

The slender rushed over to the chair and sat down. "I understand you have a problem?" His eyes squinted the whole time since the light reflecting of Slender's head was blinding him. "First, I'll need to hear the whole story before my associate and I can help eradicate it."

A sad smile would've traced Slender's lips. He spun round, gazing into the sunset. "It all started when they bought vuvuzelas…"