A/N: why do I keep giving my favorite characters panic attacks?

Chapter 4, you guys, time flies omg I need to step up my game, I only have a couple of chapters written already =/ I don't particularly like this chapter because I feel like it's kind of a filler, but I had bat feels and I just had to write this, I'm sorry. But, on the bright side, next one's my favorite and I can't wait for you to read it!

Sassbrat: I'm so glad you're liking this story! Hope you keep on liking it!

AstrisDreams: don't you have an AO3 account? Do you want me to send you an invitation? If you do, pm me your email :) You should let me invite you because your fics are amazing and they need to take over the world asap! Thanks for your kind words, it means a lot!

FallenHope-Angel: pls don't cry, hon! Everything will be okay... Eventually... I think... Wow I didn't see this "wally's a suicide genious" prompt, but it's glorious! I love it! Unfortunately I kind of have this story all planned in my head and I don't wish to make it any longer or I might not have the time to finish it because real life's getting on the way of my fic writing, as it always does. Besides I already have other prompts from yj anon kinkmeme tormenting me to get them done, so I'll have to pass on this great prompt (also I'm scared because the prompt's awesome and I kinda suck and I'd ruin it ugh) I'd love to read it, tho, if you ever decide to fill it. I love your stories!

Thanks to the people who subscribed and favorited this fic! You're all too precious for this world, ily.

Chapter 4

The Flash runs past him to the med bay and the boy wonder sighs. He was planning on being there for Wally when he woke up again, but he knows it's not his place to intrude on Barry's alone time with his nephew. Having nowhere else to go and feeling quiet restless, Robin just paces back and forth, trying to make sense out of Wally has tried to commit suicide when he was twelve until Batman is announced back at Mount Justice. His mentor gestures for him to follow and leads him somewhere they can't talk alone.

"How did the interrogation with Psimon go?" The boy wonder asks as soons as they stop.

"Psimon is now under league custody and has been taken to the Watchtower." Batman simply nods.

"And how did the interrogation go?" Robin bites his bottom lip, but repeats himself.

"We got what we came for."

"Which is?" Robin knows Bruce's being obtuse on purpose and normally he would let it go because there must be a reason for this behavior, but he can'tdo it now. He can't let go because this is about Wally, so he presses on.

"Not my secret to tell." Batman has his "that's final" tone of voice and Robin grits his teeth.

"I need to know, Look, Wally's my... Wally's..." He needs to make Bruce understand what Wally means to him, but he doesn't know how to do it, he doesn't know how to finish his own sentence. Wally is: his Teammate. His friend. Wally was his only friend for a while and now he's his best friend. But Wally's also more, so much more.

Wally's a flirt, he's a dumb genius and a reckless idiot who jumps into danger without a second thought because he heals faster so it's not a problem if he gets hurt anyway.

Wally's the guy who ran over the whole country and stood in line for four hours to get Robin the new zombie videogame for his fake birthday. Wally's also the guy who had the idea for the fake birthday crap and decided to share his own birthday with Robin when the boy wonder said he couldn't even tell his best friend the day he was born. He's the guy who calls Robin "Rob" and "Robbie" and makes it all sound like real names.

Wally's a chatterbox, he's clueless and clumsy, but he's also caring, sweet, honorable and hilarious, especially when he's not trying to be. He's generous and brave and warm and brilliant and honest and beautiful and...

"I need to know what made him try to..." Robin gives up and goes on because, judging by the way Batman is looking at him, he understands, he knows. He knows Wally's important. "...kill himself." He forces the words out because how can he help Wally come to terms with what has happened if he can't even say it?

"Then ask him and he will tell you in his own time." Batman touches his shoulder, trying to soothe his protegé's worries.

"He never told me anything, why would he tell me now?" Robin can't help how this one thought cuts through him, deeply.

"J'ohn thinks he locked away his memories after the accident. When he moved to Central City with the Flash, he began a new life, unconsciously hiding away his traumatic memories as a defense mechanism. The encounter with Psimon brought all those repressed memories to light."

"You keep using the plural. There's more than one traumatic memory? How many traumatic memories can one kid have?" Robin's growing more and more tense and he wants to laugh it off, dismiss it as a joke and have everything come back to normal, please. "What could be worse than a suicide attempt?"

"What drove him to it." Batman doesn't even blink and Robin looks away, ashamed of his reaction, because of course.

"So... When KF wakes he'll have to deal with a bunch of stuff he hid away for years so he could be sane and normal.. And... Happy, all this time." What his mentor's implying is finally starting to sink in and it makes him feel sick. Wally's brain made him forget all these things to protect him, so he could live his life, so he could grow up and become a hero, become everything that he is. But now it's all about to change. "He'll wake up and he'll remember it and how is he supposed to feel like himself again? He won't... He won't be Wally anymore..." He's backing away from Batman and he's panting for air. He's vaguely aware that he may be having a panic attack and he can't deal with it right now. It's too much.

One thing at a time, Grayson. Just start by fucking breathing,he tells himself. It's not that hard, it's not supposed to be that hard. He wonders if that's how Wally felt when he first woke up and nope. Thinking about Wally isn't helping. At all.

"Dick." Batman is at his side in an instant, but the boy wonder shakes him head "no" when the league member reaches for him.

"I can do it." He manages to spit it out, between painful gasps.

"I know you can, Dick."

Any other adult would just have ignored his pleas and called someone for help, but Bruce nods and waits because Bruce believes in him. And if Bruce believes he can do something, then he can do it. It's just that simple.

He can breathe, he just needs to remember how to.

His mind goes to Wally again and he fights the 'bad idea' alert that goes off in his head because Wally's his best friend and thinking about him always made him happy and he won't let a stupid panic attack ruin it for him. He thinks about Wally's chest rising and falling with the movement of his hand, he thinks about Wally's warm breaths against his neck when he held him and it gets easier and easier.

"Sorry." He eventually says, when he feels it's safe enough to speak.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Robin only realizes Batman has an arm around him, when the dark knight tries to take it back. "I have other business to attend to and I was about to suggest you head over to Gotham and lay low for a few days, but I have a feeling you want to stay."

"I do." Robin nods and lets his body lean towards his mentor, not wanting the contact to end, and they stay like this for a few more minutes.

They don't talk, they don't need to.

xxx

"Hey, kid, how are you feeling?"

Wally feels someone play with his hair and the gesture's so familiar he knows it's uncle Barry even before he says anything. But it's still a lot confusing because maybe he's still dreaming, or maybe it's another memory, except it could be any memory because Barry used to stay with him, waiting for him to wake up everytime he got sick, back when he could get sick, or hurt in missions and it was always exactly like that. Uncle Barry played with his hair a lot, ever since he was five, and Wally doesn't even know how old he's supposed to be, right now.

"I'm fine." He groans and replies, because that's what he always replied, because, even though he doesn't know if he is fine at all, he doesn't want to worry his uncle, he never did.

"Can you open your eyes for me, champ?" Barry asks and, oh, god, maybe Wally's five or six because uncle Barry is using pet names for him again.

Wally tries to obey, but the room is so bright it hurts his eyes.

"It's okay, Wally." Barry says and holds his hands. "You can do it."

Wally groans, squeezes his uncle's hand and thinks it shouldn't be this hard. He was never afraid of the light before, quite the opposite, truth be told. He waits and his eyes slowly adjust. Barry's dressed as the Flash, but his mask's off, Wally recognizes the room as the med bay on Mount Justice and feels ashamed.

He shouldn't have been afraid of the light, he shouldn't be afraid of anything because, he remembers, he's sixteen and a superhero.

"Do you know where you are, kid?" Uncle Barry pushes him back to bed when he tries to get up.

"Mount Justice. That's the med bay, right?" He's surprised at how groggy his voice sounds and forces himself to cough.

"Do you know why you're here?"

Wally remembers everything.

xxx

"I"m his best friend." Robin lowers his head when Black Canary asks what's wrong. He just had a panic attack and having another one isn't in his plans, ever again, but he knows that talking to her usually helps, so he takes a deep breath in anticipation. "The idiot told me that, like, one hour after we met, actually. He was always so open, about everything, I never thought he had something so dark in his past and I'm... I'm supposed to be his best friend, right?

"Why is it a question? Don't you know?"

"I... I... It's complicated now that I know what Psimon did to him... Look, the first time he woke he panicked so we couldn't really talk. Now we're waiting again and I don't know what we're supposed to be waiting for. I mean, when he wakes, he'll remember everything that happened to him and... What if it's just too much? What if he never comes back to normal or if he withdraws from us, what if he's different? What if I'm not his best friend anymore?"

"Is Wally your best friend?" Dinah leans in his direction.

"What?"

"You may not be his best friend anymore, but is he yours?"

"Of course he is." Robin can't help but feel offended at her for suggesting otherwise.

"And will he still be your best friend no matter what happens from now on? Or will your feelings for him change?"

"He will, he always will, I... I love him." The words are out before he can stop himself, but he isn't ashamed of them, on the contrary, actually, he's very proud.

"Then what difference does it make, how he sees you?"

"It changes nothing." Robin stands up. "And I should be with him now. Thanks."

Dinah watches him go with a smile on her lips.