4. Pain
Who are you?
Sesshoumaru's blood ran cold. "Do not be foolish, Inuyasha," he said firmly.
"You know me?" Inuyasha asked, blinking slowly.
"How dare you! Sesshoumaru-sama, we should toss this impudent thing out!" Jaken was furiously stomping his feet, squawking at the top of his lungs.
Sesshoumaru did not seem to hear him. Normally, Jaken would have been kicked or tossed aside, but now it was as though Sesshoumaru had forgotten the toad demon's very existence. Inuyasha was still looking at him as if he had never seen him before and his scent was coated with distress. Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed. Inuyasha had never feared him.
"You are my brother," he stated without emotion. Inuyasha's reaction towards his person displeased him. They had put the past behind them long ago, yet now it seemed as if everything that happened up to this point meant nothing.
"Brother?" Inuyasha echoed, startled. "Me?"
Sesshoumaru inclined his head, eyes observing Inuyasha's shifts in expression. Now that his brother was human, he found he could read him almost effortlessly. It was a welcome change.
"But you're a demon…" Inuyasha trailed off, tilting his head in confusion.
"You were once a hanyou," Sesshoumaru said, staring into the distance at the crescent moon that hung just beyond the window. Then his eyes shifted back to Inuyasha's face and ever so subtly, they appeared to be searching for something. The seconds seemed to drag on until Sesshoumaru stood and made his way to the door, ordering Jaken to call for Mayu before he left without another word or glance in his brother's direction.
Inuyasha was alone in the room now. His head was spinning with wild thoughts. How could he have been a hanyou? For as long as he could remember, he had been—no, that wasn't right. He had no memories of his past. He only knew of the years that he had been enslaved, and that this demon called Sesshoumaru was his savior. He wondered whether he had been told the truth. A brother… Did he really have family left? He could feel a headache forming. Inuyasha squeezed his eyes tightly shut, wincing as a stinging sensation made the back of his head pound.
He saw flashes of golden eyes again—the same ones from his dream. It wasn't the first time he had seen that image. Even while enslaved, he frequently saw those eyes; they were the only clue he had to remember who he had been, how he had lived. But ever since he left the manor, those dreams had gotten more intense, more violent. Inuyasha wanted to know the reason behind it.
Mayu entered the room with a tray of food as Inuyasha was pondering. She set the tray down beside him, giggling as the sound snapped him out of his thoughts with a start. She found his flushed face absolutely endearing.
"Inuyasha-sama—"
"Please, just Inuyasha is fine," he interrupted politely.
The fox demon smiled. The young master was still the same as ever. Perhaps meeker as a human, but unquestionably, his character remained unchanged.
"I am called Mayu."
"Mayu," he repeated. She waited for him to light up with recognition, but it never came.
"Is that for me?" he asked, looking at the tray.
"It sure is—and with all of your favorites," she replied, her smile growing wider.
Inuyasha's chest tightened with guilt. "Thank you," he said quietly, staring down at his hands. Mayu could sense that he was distraught, and delicately placed both of her hands atop his. All the while, her kind smile never faded. When his eyes met hers, she nodded supportively and he was surprised at how familiar she felt to him.
Temporarily relieved of his stress, Inuyasha found that he was starving. He chose the dish that looked the most filling. It was in a large bowl, soaked in broth. Curious, he examined it before poking a wooden stick in. The fox demon was giggling again, amused by his antics.
"Those are tools to consume the noodles with, Inuyasha," she said, eyes sparkling with mirth. "Here, let me show you."
Inuyasha watched, amazed at how easily Mayu seemed to twist the noodles around the wooden sticks.
"Your turn," she said, handing the sticks over to him.
With some trouble, he managed to pick up a few strands of noodles and cautiously put them in his mouth. He chewed, then licked his lips, and went back for more.
As Mayu watched him, her expression grew nostalgic. She remembered when Inuyasha was first brought to the castle. His relationship with Lord Sesshoumaru had been one based on obligation at the time. As the years moved along, however, they genuinely began to care for one another. She saw how desperately the lord had searched for his brother, how much he blamed himself for Inuyasha's capture. When she heard that he had found him, her heart nearly burst with joy; but when the lord had returned holding the body of his unconscious brother, looking on impassively, she wanted to weep for him.
Mayu had taken care of the lord at a young age. Not once had anything moved him, until his brother came along and she finally saw that he could express and feel as much as anyone else, if only in the presence of Inuyasha. She herself had taken a liking to the boy the minute she set eyes on him.
"Mayu, what is this food?" Inuyasha asked. He had never tasted something so good before.
"It is called ramen. It always was your favorite. When you first came to the castle, you kicked up a fuss about eating it, until Lord Sesshoumaru found someone who could replicate it exactly."
"Lord Sesshoumaru and I… we were close?"
"In the beginning, you fought—as all brothers do. It took some time, but you did grow close." Mayu looked wistful now.
Inuyasha was quiet. This place, Lord Sesshoumaru, Mayu... he felt as if he knew them from a dream. He heard a distant howl in the background and noticed Mayu's ears had twitched at the sound. She looked outside the window and let out a soft, sad sigh. When she turned back to him, she was wearing a smile on her face.
"Please, eat some more," she said, gesturing at the food still left on the tray. "I'll be right back."
Inuyasha nodded. "Thank you."
Mayu was walking to the gardens, where she was sure she would find Lord Sesshoumaru. That howl had definitely been his. It had been a sorrowful sound, one that she had only heard one other time, a few years ago. As she expected, he was in his demonic form.
"Lord Sesshoumaru," Mayu called, waiting until his gaze landed on her. "Inuyasha-sama chose the ramen first."
The dog demon huffed, the action rumbling the ground. Mayu laughed, amused. "He seems to be fine now. Will you not see him?"
Sesshoumaru walked towards her, slowly transforming into his humanoid form. "I will see him now."
Inuyasha felt incredibly full. He had never seen half the food that had been brought to him, but Mayu was probably right about them being his favorites. The flavors still lingered on his tongue. If he could fit more into his stomach, he would.
Now that he was in a state where he could observe his surroundings, he tried hard to remember whether or not he had been there in the past. Nothing seemed to spark his memory—until Sesshoumaru chose to walk in at that moment.
As soon as their eyes met, Inuyasha experienced flashbacks so intense, he felt as if his head was being split in two. Closing his eyes didn't appease the pain. In fact, it intensified it enough to almost make him cry out, but he did not want to show such weakness in front of a stranger.
Sesshoumaru was at a loss. Inuyasha had looked fine until he drew near. He was conflicted; he wished to provide support for his brother, but it seemed as if he were the cause of his affliction. He disregarded the knot in his throat and approached Inuyasha. "Inuyasha. Where does it hurt?" Inuyasha barely heard him. He just knew that whenever this demon was near, he felt pain.
Sesshoumaru lifted Inuyasha's chin. "Look at me, brother."
Inuyasha looked into Sesshoumaru's eyes—and all he could see was the demon from his violent dreams.
Inuyasha could see how much the demon standing in front of him despised him. His narrowed eyes were filled with apparent disgust as he stared down at him, his poison coated hands emitting deadly green fumes, positioned to kill. "Die, Inuyasha."
Sesshoumaru noticed how irregular Inuyasha's breathing had become and moved the hand that was holding his chin up to touch his shoulder. Inuyasha flinched at the movement and Sesshoumaru paused, then withdrew his hand, keeping it by his side.
Inuyasha stared at the ground. He needed to get out of here. There was no way this demon could be his brother. He needed to leave now.
Mayu was standing outside the door, her heart wrenching at the scene she was watching. Neither Inuyasha nor Sesshoumaru were speaking, but she could see that the lord did not want to leave his brother alone in this state.
Sesshoumaru had no choice. He would not get through to Inuyasha like this. He needed to give him time to recover. Time was what they needed. He looked at Inuyasha once more before he turned and left the room.
Inuyasha let out a breath of relief. His hands were still trembling from their close contact. He was grateful for having been fed, but he could not stay here a day longer.
He had to go.
Tonight.
