Jake was curled in a ball on the ground, clutching his stomach and ego. Master Fong had knocked him out with one fist to the stomach. He'd always look back and think of that as the hardest punch he'd ever felt. The man had a fist like iron.

"Are you learning?" The voice taunted him. "Do you feel yourself getting angry? Good, then take it out. Fight me. Who are you fighting? Who are you angry at?"

For the first week he had no answer to give. He just fought when provoked. He struck out at every opportunity but Master Fong steadily beat him back. By the second week, he was finding a pattern. And by the third week, he was able to articulate a name.

A month later and Jake was fighting all of his demons at once. I hate you, mom, for moving us away, he said punching the bag. I hate you, Charlie, for making me follow you while you fulfilled your dreams, he said delivering a kick. I hate you, Baja, for pulling me into your crazy world, he said with a palm strike. I hate you, Max, for the way you're encouraging everything with that stupid camera of yours, he said with a an elbow strike. I hate you, Ryan, for being so perfect, he said sending a knee into the midsection of the bag.

Three months into the training, and Jake finally hit the core of it all. I hate you, father, for leaving me.


Master Fong pushed him harder than ever Vitor, but in very different ways. The minute he identified his demons, Fong made him meditate. Gone were the bags, replaced with candles and dimly lit spaces. Jake hated it. Fight with his demons, that he could do. But confront them, talk with them, that was infinitely harder.

But every day for months, Jake forced his body to be still. He dove inward and fought the rage that emerged the moment he started training in earnest for The Beatdown. When he finished the training and Master Fong proclaimed him a more balanced martial artist, he felt a moment of near pious purity.

And then it was time to tell Ryan.


It was a lot harder to get Ryan's attention again then Jake had hoped. In the months since he'd left, Ryan had picked up a few TV shows and gotten busier, spending most of his time shooting in Vancouver. He'd also started dating again. A girl he met on set of a comedy, Jay told him with some sympathy one evening when they were on the phone.

"Sorry, Jake, man. I think Ryan didn't hear from you for such a long time, he just didn't know what to expect."

He'd hung up annoyed, but not exactly surprised. He told himself anything could have happened in the half year or so that they'd been apart. And it was largely his fault for not getting in touch at all, but as he explained to himself, he wasn't sure what he would say until he knew he was fixed.

Not that he had a lot of time to chase lost lovers. Vitor called him, mentioned that he was finally moving to America, and that Jake would be his best student. He'd set a date, that's the championship you gonna fight in and you gonna win. You in?

With not a lot of other options to go with, Jake could hardly refuse. And so he began training in earnest, and Ryan fell just a little farther from his mind. The two of them constructed a series of movements that combined the best of what he'd learned: the speed of muay thai, the grace of capoeira, the strength of TKD, the adrenaline of the street, the will of kungfu, the energy of krav maga, all emerged in the way Jake fought. Vitor declared him unstoppable with the arsenal that he'd picked up. And looking at himself in the mirror of a hotel room in the small city where he would fight and easily win his qualifying round, Jake felt like a new man.

In the year that he fought, he didn't have a lot of time for much else other than concentrating on his form, his technique, and his general health. He would call some old friends and talk. He surprised himself with how much he talked with Charlie about their dad. It was therapeutic in a way since Charlie had been too young to really remember the man.

And every once in awhile, he would think about Ryan. Ironically, he mused, it happened a lot in the ring. He would hope to hear Ryan's voice urging him on, spurring him to victory as it did that one time at USC. He would fantasize that Ryan still followed UFC enough to know that Jake was climbing fast. He imagined them running into each other at the end of a match. The thought of make-up sex in the locker room a better turn on than anything he could find on the Internet.

But Jake knew better, and it didn't happen. He knew Ryan was following his own dreams, from playing the cocky kid Kevin on The O.C., to supporting roles on the big screen. And from what Jake heard, he was still dating the same girl and the two of them were getting serious.

He thought about reaching out. At the very least, if this were to be the end for them, he wanted to tell Ryan that he was sorry, and that he was a better man now. He deserved to give him that much. Still, he never found the time or the guts. Why bother him anyway? Jake reasoned with himself. He's already moved on, no use dragging old demons out of the closet again.


It's the spring when Jake is on a plane south. Vitor's given him a week off, and he's timed it with Charlie's break so the two of them can spend some vacation time together. Not that Jake would admit it, but Charlie and he have similar tastes when it comes to traveling. They both go for the exotic adventures over easy tourist destinations, which is why they're both headed to Bolivia. One of the poorest countries in Latin America thanks to a dispute with Peru and Chile that left it largely landlocked, Bolivia has not attracted the same levels of tourism as its neighboring cousins, Charlie reads to him on the plane. For the two of them, that means a chance to really get off the beaten path.

The only touristy thing they're going to be visiting are the great salt flats of Uyuni. So it's with a healthy dose of shock that Jake points out a familiar blonde to Charlie when they arrive in the tourist van.

Charlie follows his finger and his eyes widen. "That's not seriously Ryan is it?"

Jake groans and thinks about the probability of it being Ryan, but there's no denying that it is. Even Charlie recognizes him. They're still in the bus and the tour guide is now gesturing at them to get off and explore with everyone else. They have two hours here to watch the sunset.

He follows Charlie outside. Ryan is still a few hundred feet away and hasn't noticed them yet. Charlie nudges him, "it's a sign don't you think?"


Ryan gets out, looks around, and whistles at the view.

For miles in either direction beyond their tourist van, he sees sky on top, sky on bottom. The thin layer of water covering the ground is a perfect mirror and the sky today, their tour guide proclaims, cooperated wonderfully.

He reaches into his bag for the camera and nods to Jay and a few of his other friends. "Unreal, eh?"

He's glad they made him do this. Jay even handed him a ticket and said, roomie trip, no arguments, checked with the girlfriend and you're coming. This is the first stop. They'll spend two days in Bolivia, then drive by caravan through into northern Chile to checkout the sprawling Atacama Desert, then onto Santiago where they've planned a few days of cultural tours and parties before Jay and the others board a flight back to Los Angeles and Ryan has a separate flight that takes him back up to Vancouver to wrap up some shooting.

Ryan takes off his flip-flops and sinks his feet into the cool salt water. He splashes a little and watches the mirror quivering a bit near his feet, but then stilling almost immediately. He grins and waves to Jay and the others. "You're right guys, this is pretty awesome."

He's so distracted he barely realizes someone from one of the other recently arrived buses is headed right toward him. And when he notices he frowns and then steps back a bit in shock. Jake?

And yet, there was no mistaking the brown hair, the confident strut, and the smile that Jake seemed to be making an effort to keep up when he saw that Ryan noticed him too.


It was an awkward reconnection for both of them. Ryan's roommates quickly noticed, and after a rapid round of introductions, everyone else quickly dispersed. Ryan and Jake stood around for a moment. Jake mourned the stiffness of the silence, the distance between them that was never there before. He hesitantly asked if Ryan wanted to walk around a bit, see the sights. With their other companions gone, the two of them started off, heading toward the center of the salt flats.

They talked in bits and pieces. Jake started with an apology, but that just sounded weird given how long they hadn't seen each other. So he cut himself off and just asked Ryan how he was doing. They talked about his career, TV shows and movies and red carpets. Ryan brought up his girlfriend just the one time and didn't look up in time to catch the grimace that passed across Jake's face. They talked about Jake and he was right; Ryan hadn't been following MMA and didn't know Jake was competing. He was still going to krav, but by now it was mostly to keep his skills sharp in case he needed to do any of his own stunts. Ryan told Jake about Jay and his friends, and Jake talked about his mom and Charlie.

At some point, Ryan gestured to Jay and the other guys and mentioned that he should probably head back to see his friends. Jake agreed, but as Ryan turned, he pulled the other's arm and said, "hey, it was good to see you. I'm sorry I haven't reached back out, but… I'd like it if we could talk again, just, as friends, ok?" Ryan just said ok and flashed that sexy smile.


They keep in touch by phone and email. Not as often as Jake would like, and with not enough words and sentences that mean something beyond how is it going, but it's something. Ryan tells Jake about an upcoming premiere that he's going to attend and while watching the live red carpet show from his apartment, he sees Ryan's girlfriend for the first time. She's gorgeous and Jake is immediately jealous of the easy way in which the two of them talk and interact on screen. They've acted together on two different shows now and clearly have a strong rapport.

Charlie asks him one time how he feels and he just shrugs and hopes his little brother can hear the meaning through the phone. It is what it is. What I made it to be.

The next time they see each other is almost half a year later, after Jake got knocked out in a surprise takedown. The match ended his run that season and while he didn't fly into an angry rage, he did fly home feeling like a small child who was given his favorite toy at Christmas only to be told a week later that he couldn't play with it anymore.

That's how Jake finds himself back in Florida. Vitor insisted he get into training for next year immediately, but Jake wants a break. He sees Ryan at the grocery store, and the two of the laugh about how they're always running into each other. Turns out Ryan's home to help pack up the mansion. His dad is moving the family's home base and while Ryan personally doesn't care since he's already living in Los Angeles, he does want to come home to collect the things he still wants to keep. Left totally up to his dad, there'd be nothing remaining by the time he visited the new home.

They meet for a few lunches here and there. Jake invites Ryan to the train with him and Roqua sometime. Ryan shows up the day before his flight back to the West Coast. He still fights well and Roqua commends him on keeping up his skills and even picking up a few new moves from the krav club. They talk about Jake's previous season. Jake blushes about not even making it to the semi-finals, but Ryan just tells him it's a fluke, and that he'll do better next year.

By the time Ryan's getting on his plane the next day, Jake is already telling Vitor he's ready to train.


Before long, the UFC season is starting again and Jake doesn't hesitate when Ryan asks him to give a list of upcoming fight dates and locations, just in case he's near one for work. Ryan makes it out to one match. It's in San Diego and Ryan figures Los Angeles is close enough, so he and Jay and a few roommates drive down. He doesn't bring his girlfriend and they don't talk about her when they go out and celebrate Jake's win.

Vitor falls in love so much with the West Coast he decides to move. By the beaches in Orange County, Vitor finds a nice condo and opens up an MMA gym. He thinks it'll be great to take the students sand running every morning. Jake follows him and rents an apartment with a friend of a friend from Columbia. He's back to jogging on the beach and musing at how it has happened that four years after he left, he is back to SoCal.

Jake invites Ryan and the guys to his housewarming, and Ryan invites Jake to his birthday celebration. At the party is the first and only time he ever sees Ryan's girlfriend in person, though he makes a point to not be close by when she is and Ryan doesn't try to introduce them.

Three matches into the year and Jake is feeling good. His mashed-up movements and combinations are smoother than ever. The announcers praise his ability to jump from a krav style defense to a kungfu-based flying kick that no opponent has been able to dodge. When there are just seven people vying for the championship title and Jake is still undefeated, Ryan invites him out for dinner.

It's just the two of them, and when Jake thinks about it, the only time it's been just the two of them since they were last dating. They're at a small restaurant out in the suburbs of Los Angeles; it's half empty and the waiter pays them extra careful attention, and though Ryan scoffs, Jake swears the waiter is trying to remember from what TV show or movie he's seen Ryan before.

"I broke up with her."

Jake stops cutting with his knife just for a moment. Did he hear correctly?

"I broke up with my girlfriend, Tyler."

Jake wonders if Ryan will call him out for terrible acting, so he doesn't look all the way up when he makes the appropriate, I'm so sorry to hear, comment.

Ryan sighs and leans back, "you know she's the only person I've gone out with since you left. And I thought we were going somewhere. It was really great, until you showed up again."

Jake has the decency to look ashamed but really his heart is pounding with very different reasons.

"It's always been you, Tyler."

Jake swallows and stills.

"Jake, can we…" Ryan stops and Jake sees the muscles of his forehead working furious. "Can we try it again?"


Jake tells them immediately the next day. Charlie groans and calls it the longest courtship ever, and his mom just says I have no idea what you kids are doing these days and he thinks he can hear her head shaking from side-to-side.

The beginning is slow. Their movements have changed and their patterns are different. They have to relearn each other. But still, they have a head start. Jake is quick to tell Ryan about what happened, he wants Ryan to know that he is new and improved. Ryan just says I know and grins. He talks about training with Master Fong, a Shaolin kungfu monk that Roqua knew was based in the US. He talks about spending months training in internal martial arts, meditation, mind and body exercises, and breathing. He talks about realizing that he had bottled up all the anger that came when his dad died and left him, and then burying that bottle in an ocean of responsibility. To his mom. To Charlie. Fighting, though, drained his inhibitions until the bottle rose to the surface again. The Shaolin training helped him take control. Ryan is silent through the story, and only comments at the end that he wished he'd known how to help.

Ryan comments at how big the sprawl of SoCal is; it's impossible to see everything. So they take a staycation in Malibu one weekend and hike in the mountains. They yell into the canyons to catch echoes and jump into the rivers to cool down.

When Jay finally graduates from his PhD program and moves up to San Francisco where he's found a sweet job offer, Ryan seizes the opportunity to ask Jake to find a place together, just the two of them. Because, he reasons, the new roommates were Jay's friends of friends, so it didn't make a whole lot of sense to stay once Jay left.

They found a place in Santa Monica, both knowing they'd always want to be by the beach. When they move, Jake takes the photo out of the bedroom and puts it in the middle of their new living room. Ryan hugs him from behind and kisses his neck, and he sighs. This was worth the wait.


"Carlos is flagging, ladies and gentlemen! One more hit could be the end of his reign!"

Jake distantly hears the announcer, but his focus is complete on his opponent. Carlos still looks up and ready, but Jake can tell by his movements that he's putting more weight on his right foot after absorbing a vicious kick with his left shin. Jake grins. He knows what'll win this. He pushes forward, a series of quick jabs and strikes to get Carlos back on the defensive. He finds an opening and strikes with the heel of his palm, connecting solidly with Carlos' chest. Carlos roars and falls back.

Jake hears Ryan clear and distinct, "you can win Tyler." He doesn't know if he's imagining nor does he care. He turns and delivers a flying roundhouse kick that strikes Carlos at his unprotected flank and sends him flying. The crowd erupts onto their feet and begin applauding. Jake laughs when he sees Vitor smiling at him.

The announcement makes it official. Jake is the new champion! The announcer takes his right arm and raises it to the sky while the crowd is chanting. Out of the corner of his eye, Jake sees Ryan in the ring. His memory is a bit shot and his head hurts from the pounding Carlos gave it so he's not sure if he's seeing right or not. But then there are screams that come from the audience and gasps and he knows he's not seeing things when Ryan gets on one knee. He doesn't think he fully processes the moment because Ryan's not saying anything, justing smiling that damn smile up at him expectantly. Jake feels like he's high, like this moment just carries on forever in between the shouts from the crowd. He isn't sure if he actually says the word yes, but he definitely feels himself nodding his head vigorously. Ryan smiles even wider, if that's possible, and slips the solid band on Jake's hand. The crowd roars as Jake pulls him up for a kiss. He wonders if it's all right that there's some blood on his face still, but Ryan probably doesn't care about that at the moment.

He still isn't lucid enough to catch the announcer getting back into form and screaming a secondary congratulations into the microphone. He's not sure if he's actually smiling in any of the photos. There are so many flashes he doesn't know how to deal with it. But Ryan goes into red carpet mode and smiles and kisses him and hugs him and puts on a show all at the same time.


By the time they wake up in the morning there are hundreds of messages from friends and family. They tap through and respond to a few, and leave the rest to the autoresponders that will faithfully reply while they're touring South America. There's also a media flurry that's erupted. Not that he nor Ryan were ever not out, but both of them kept their personal lives rather private, and Ryan isn't so famous. The scandal comes and goes, lasting a little longer than the normal fifteen minutes. Jake knows it'll pick up again—they're getting married after Never Back Down comes out, and since the proposal hit every Hollywood news outlet for three days straight, the producers have made it very clear that Jake will get his own special part in the movie in addition to being a stuntman. But he doesn't think or worry about that or anything else. Vitor's already whining about his ill-timed decision to quit the sport, and the UFC President almost has a heart attack when Jake told him his decision after the congratulations ceremony.

He does worry, however, about the little things. Like whether he and Ryan packed enough mosquito repellant for their trek through the rainforests in South America. Ryan comes into their hotel room with a spring in his step.

"We are all checked out, the taxi is waiting to take us to the airport. Are we packed?"

Jake frowns, "yes, we might want to buy some more bug spray—"

Ryan laughs, "—don't worry about it, guy. I'm sure we'll be fine. If I remember correctly, you're tastier to the mosquitos, so as long as you're with me, I'm good."

Jake glances over at him darkly as he zips up the final piece of luggage, "Sacrificing me to save yourself. How classic, Ryan."

Ryan just smirks and leans in for a kiss.

"This is the start of a good vacation, eh?"

"A pre-honeymoon," Jake retorts.

"Yes… though wait until you hear what I'm thinking for our actual honeymoon!" Ryan starts toward the door.

Jake raises an eyebrow. "Save it for the plane on the way back, babe. I'm not sure I could handle more excitement right now," he says with a smile.

Ryan opens the door and sunlight fills the room. He holds it open for Jake to file through with their luggage and then lets it fall closed. Outside, he catches up to Jake and reaches out to take his hand. Ryan grins and the sun catches in his eyes. And Jake's heart lifts a little because his mind is finally working again and this is the happiest he's ever felt. They don't say anything on the way to the airport… there's no reason to anymore. By the time the plane takes off, Jake has already nodded off. His head is on Ryan's shoulder, and there's a smile dancing on his lips.