Chapter Four: Session Three. Here's Jii-chan!

Three days had past since the birth of Elliot Taisho and Sesshomaru and Rin were finally at home. I sat in my office finishing an e-mail to Sess letting him know to call if they needed anything or if they ever needed a break, Sango and I would be glad to help. I had to reschedule Inuyasha to come back today for his third session since our last was canceled due to Rin going into labor. I hit send and sat back in my office chair glancing at the clock. I had ten minutes before he got here so I needed to steel myself over. My mind drifted to Monday when I walked in to the delivery room to see him holding Elliot and nearly dropping the juice I'd gotten for Rin. The picturesque moment of him holding a baby and looking so happy pulled on my heart strings so destructively, I thought it might erupt from chest. Scolding myself for such thoughts, I shook my head back to the present and grabbed my clip board as I rose from my desk chair to move to my normal session seat. As soon as the second arm ticked the twelve, my office door opened and Inuyasha entered with a smile on his face. I held my composure as my heart stopped for a second remember how much joy that particular smile used to bring me.

"Good afternoon, Doc," he said cheerily.

"Hello, Inuyasha. You seem to be in a better mood today," I commented as he took his seat across from me.

"You can say that again. I feel like a weight's been lifted off of my shoulders."

"I'm glad to hear that. What's brought on this light-heartedness?" He smirked as he slid the golden wedding band that I was sure he hadn't been wearing before from his left ring finger and tossed it into the waste basket by my desk on the other side of the room.

"The divorce is final," he said with a sigh and a smile. "I haven't felt this free in years."

"I'm glad. This means you'll be able to make remarkable progress."

"Yeah, I'll be sad when our time's up though," he said as he megawatt smile dimmed to sad one.

"Well," I said awkwardly, "let's continue where we left off with your relationship with your father." I was pleased we wouldn't have to talk about Kikyo anymore. The sneer at the mention of his father caused my brows to crease in my observation.

"Do we have to?" he asked harshly.

"Yes. It seems you've got a lot of resentment and aggression towards him still."

"Well wouldn't you if someone pushed you to the point of possibly destroying any hope of happiness?" His question was off putting and laced with assumption. I knew what he meant but diverted from any discussion of us.

"Why don't we begin with your childhood and work up to his unwelcome persistence." Inuyasha scowled and crossed his arms.

"Fine. You know from experience my father hasn't always been around. He was always busy with traveling for work and only being home to delegate punishment, pushing both of his sons towards business despite what we wanted. You know Sesshomaru wanted to be a doctor?"

"I remember that fight," I said with a laugh.

"Yeah. Shit like that always made me resent my dad to a point. I know he does everything because he loves us but that only goes so far."

"I know you said he wasn't always around, but I can recall once you got older, he was around a lot. I can also recall you didn't seem to mind so much."

"I can't lie. Once he stopped traveling all the time, it made home life a lot easier. My mom was always happier and when she's happy, I'm happy. We were on good terms for awhile until he started pushing me to date Kikyo. I was young and stupid so of course I didn't resent being pushed to date a pretty girl. I got a little infatuated at one point but that was before she started to change." I nodded, having witnessed her change from kind hearted and caring to egotistical and materialistic going into our senior year. "Right when she started to change was when our fathers started scheming to marry us off for business. That's where the real problems started." His gaze shifted to the floor and he became silent.

"Your forgotten resentment resurfaced?" I pried, trying to get him to continue.

"Yeah. It got bad around high school graduation and the summer that followed because I was messing up his plans." He looked up at me when the breath caught in my throat and an apologetic expression flowed over his face briefly before he looked back to the floor. "I didn't know it at the time but the arranged marriage with Kikyo was more than just for business. My parents were seeing a marriage counselor because they were thinking about getting a divorce. Apparently, Kikyo's mom was the woman my dad was cheating on Sesshomaru's mom with and that's why they got a divorce. He broke things off when he met my mom because he truly loved her. They were going to counseling because my dad started seeing the other woman on the side again."

"But I thought your parents were mated," I interjected knowing mates would rather die than be unfaithful to one another.

"They are. That's the thing: my dad was being guilted into helping Kikyo's mom out financially because he broke her heart and he felt bad about it because he loved her, but he loved my mom more. When he was off seeing her, it wasn't romantic, it was sympathetic but my mom didn't believe him. In the counseling, they came to the agreement that they would marry me off to Kikyo as a final aid to that family. At the end of our summer… I mean that summer, my dad told me all of this and said that if I didn't go through with it then things between my mom and dad would never be ok. Tell me I'm not crazy for thinking that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"I agree that it wasn't a very rational ultimatum but I'm sure there were deeper details he didn't delve into that would actually put the decision into perspective."

"Yeah, I thought so too but I felt guilty and pressured so I went along with the plan and look where it's got me. I might be able to forgive him to a degree if he didn't push me to mate Kikyo. I feel like he was trying to live vicariously through me in a sense; being able to stay mates with my mom but having a mate-connection with his previous lover. Ew… that just sounds so much more wrong than it did in my head."

"Maybe your father should come see me for some much needed therapy," I added to decrease his tension. He laughed dryly before he continued.

"Probably. But once I told him I wouldn't do it, he cut me off in a way. He only contacts me to discuss business or when I fuck up. Like these sessions he's paying for right now, he called me and bitched at me then said they were none negotiable. That's the first time I've heard from him in awhile." He sighed.

"How's your relationship with your mother?" I asked to lighten his mood. He smiled at the thought of her. I always loved that he cared so much for his mother.

"We're good. We talk at least once a week. Truthfully, I can never hate my dad because he makes her so happy and I think I went along with their plan because I couldn't imagine her unhappy. I'll never let that happen because she deserves it, and if my dad's the one to make that possible, I'll do what's asked of me. I still regret it fully, but it had to be done I guess."

"You sound like you're just realizing this for the first time."

"I am." His gaze shot up to meet mine and his golden eyes burned me. "I'll never be able to forgive myself for hurting you, Kagome. I hope you know that."

"We're not here to talk about me," I said tersely.

"I know. I just want you to know that." He kept his gaze locked with mine but I was feeling more able in dealing with our tension.

"Have you thought about a new hobby like I suggested?" I asked changing the subject. His burning gaze cooled and saddened.

"Yeah. I go to the gym everyday after work but I'm starting to go longer and three times a week I'm working with a person trainer in mixed martial arts. He's a pretty good opponent so I've been able to work off some steam."

"I'm glad to hear it," I said with a smile. He gave me a weak smile back.

"How's your family? I haven't seen them in awhile. What's Souta up to now-a-days?" I knew he saw the look I tried so hard to keep from my face. His question caught me off guard and I broke our eye contact to look down at my clipboard holding back tears. "Kagome?" I took a breath and looked back up at him with a tight smile.

"Souta's doing well. He's got some kind of website creating business on the side but runs the shrine fulltime now." I fought the tears stinging the back of my eyes, forbidding them to break free.

"Kagome, what is it?"

"My mom and grandpa died in a car accident five years ago, Inuyasha." His eyebrows shot up and he stood to approach me.

"Kagome I had no idea. I'm so sorr-" I held my hand up when he went to hug me.

"Please, have a seat Mr. Taisho. It's fine. I just haven't had to revisit that tragedy in a long time and it caught me off guard. Don't beat yourself up." He sat back down on the edge of his seat piercing me with his stare.

"I should've been there."

"No. You shouldn't have. We don't need to get into the times you should have been there when you weren't right now," I said angrily. He narrowed his eyes.

"It doesn't mean I wouldn't if I could have." I scoffed.

"Picking up the phone to check up on someone isn't cheating, it's cowardly and you know it."

"God Dammit Kagome! Don't you think I know that?! Don't you think it's been eating away at me for the past seven years?! I mean FUCK!" He shot up and started to pace the room.

"Lower your voice and have a seat Inuyasha," I said coldly, trying to reel myself back in because I was too far from professional to even call myself a doctor.

"No! I won't! You need to hear this even if it means you need to refer me!" He spun on his heels and glared at me. "If I wasn't so stupid, I could have explained everything and you wouldn't have been so hurt that you went out and fucked the first dog-demon you found in America?" Oh no he didn't.

"What did you just say?" I asked calmly.

"You heard me! I fucked you up and that's killing me."

"You cocky son of a bitch, any action I took had nothing to do with you despite any despair you caused!" I yelled back. Oh, I thought to myself, I'm turning fifteen again.

"But you know what really kills me inside, Kagome?" he continued as if I hadn't even spoken. "It's that every day we were apart, I couldn't stop thinking about you. I didn't care if things worked out with Kikyo or not or if things will every work out with anyone because that last day of summer I destroyed the only relationship that will ever matter. I'm mad I never picked up the phone, but it wasn't because I was being a coward. It was because it hurt me just as much to hear your voice as it would have for you to hear mine. I figured distance was doing you a favor."

"Clearly, based on your past decisions, you're not very wise in evaluating the good your favors have done."

"Clearly! But you needed to know, none the less. I've accepted these facts and you're the only one who can change them. So until then, I'll always be angry." I took a deep breath and shook my head as I looked at the clock.

"Inuyasha, come sit down. We don't have much time left." He stormed over to his seat and threw his body into it like a child throwing a tantrum. "Look, you know the root of your anger. That's a really good start but because it's me, I will need to refer you. I really don't want to give up on you Inu-"

"Then don't." His voice was harsh and raspy and hurt me to the core.

"How can I not when I can't do anything to help you? I feel like seeing me is only going to hurt you further in your journey to recovery." He snorted.

"You make it sound like I'm an addict."

"You're addicted to making yourself miserable and it's been going on for seven years now apparently, so yes, in a way you're an addict. You need to break the habit and seeing me regularly won't help."

"Look," he began with a more confidence in his voice and body language as he shifted to lean forward with his elbows on his knees. "If any other doctor has to see me like this, they'll keep me in therapy forever because we bother know I'm not the most easy-going person. I'm naturally angry but they won't see it that way. You see me for who I am and you're the only person who can help me. So please, Kagome, help me." I looked at him for a long moment and contemplated his words. Continuing his treatment would go against everything ethical, but his pleading eyes were my weakness; the damn puppy eyes he gave so well it made me sick.

"Alright." He smiled and leaned back. "But only under one condition."

"What?"

"You need to get over me completely. You said it yourself that we could never be, Inuyasha, so why continue to beat yourself up over the inevitable. It's not going to happen and you have to accept that or you'll never get to where you need to be." He looked at me with a hurt expression but nodded anyway. "Alright. Our time's up today, but I'll see you on Monday at our regular time. Perhaps we can discuss your half-brother then." I held back my laughter at his growling response but my smirk shown through. I stood and escorted him to the door before shutting it behind him and returning to my desk. I couldn't believe I was doing this but it felt like something that we both probably needed. Looking at the picture of my beautiful son on my desk reminded me of the one thing that stood in the way of resolve; my biggest secret and the truth being the factor towards a real recovery. I sighed and got back to work as my two o'clock came in.

"Hello Mr. Nokomoto. How are you feeling today?"

When five o'clock came Friday afternoon and gave shout of relief as I packed my things and headed downstairs with Sango. I pulled out my cell once we reached the car and I settled into the passenger seat. There was an answer on the third ring.

"Hello?" a deep sleep deprived voice asked.

"Hey Sesshomaru, how are you and the family today?" I asked. His heavy sigh made me giggle.

"Don't laugh. I'm beyond exhausted and starved like you wouldn't believe. Why didn't you warn me about this?" I giggle further.

"Because it's a given. I was thinking you might want a break to shower, nap, and eat a real meal so Sango and I were planning to come make dinner tonight. We can stay so you two can get a proper night's sleep and rejuvenate to start again tomorrow." There was a long pause and I wondered if he was sleeping standing up or contemplating how much this would hurt his pride.

"Thank god because I was two seconds away from calling to beg." I laughed loudly and relished the moment when I could hear desperation in Sesshomaru Taisho's voice.

"Ok, we'll see you around seven."

"Thank you, Kagome," he sighed, sounding so relieved I couldn't help but feel smug. We said our goodbyes as Sango and I pulled into her driveway. Shadow was at my side as soon as I stepped out of the car.

"Momma, when can we go see Elliot again?" he whined.

"Funny you should ask because we're going over tonight. We're cooking for them and staying the night to let Uncle Sesshomaru and Aunt Rin rest," I explained with a smile. His grin reached ear to ear showing off his little fangs.

"Yay!" he cheered as he did a victory dance. I laughed with him and helped him into the car so we could head home to pack an overnight bag then go to the grocery store to pick up ingredients for dinner. Sango said she would meet us there after dinner so she could spend some time with Miroku and Kai before helping me with the night shift.

The supermarket was crowded for a Friday afternoon which always made me nervous when I had Shadow with me. His energetic nature was hard to stifle and I was always anxious I might lose him in the crowd. He could sense my apprehension and stayed close to me, riding on the front, side, or back of the cart at all times laughing and jumping to get the items higher up. He had just coaxed me into buying a few cups of ramen for him when a familiar voice seeped into my ears and held back my gag of disgust.

"Kagome, what a pleasant surprise. I didn't know you were back in town," she purred in her overly sweet voice that raked over me like nails on a chalk board. I turned to narrow my eyes at the curvy beauty and center of my aggression.

"Hello Kikyo," I said with a clipped tone. She smiled wickedly at me.

"I didn't think you'd ever come back after being sent packing. What's the matter? Get rejected in America too? Or are you just back to grovel for another chance and my sloppy seconds?" Her tone never faltered as she attempted to break me down. I wouldn't budge though.

"Nope. Just came back for a job. Hope you're doing well," slut, I added in my mind.

"Oh, extremely well. Just got divorced and soon to be remarried," she cackled.

"God you stink," came a small voice at my side. I looked down at my son whom I'd forgotten was there for a moment glaring up at Kikyo. She stopped mid-cackle to gaze down at Shadow. Her face turned into a sneer as she met his golden eyes and I knew she knew. Fuck.

"Where are your manners? I guess I can't expect much knowing your mother was who raised you."

"She did a good job and still is doing one. You really do stink. Why don't you shower before you go out in public? Really, that's gross," he said flatly. I stifled a giggle. Kikyo was about to retort when she smirked and look back up at me.

"This is pitiful Kagome. You came back to use this abomination to win him back?" She made a tsking sound as she shook her head.

"Don't you talk about my son in any such way, Kikyo. I'm warning you, back off." The witch began to cackle again and it took everything I had not to slap her across her face but I didn't want to get the pound of make-up she'd poured on onto my palm.

"Why are you laughing? I'm seven and even I can tell a desperate whore on her last leg when I see one." Shadow's words shocked me.

"Shadow, bite your tongue. You're far too young to be saying such things to anyone," I berated before looking up at Kikyo who was looking mortified. "Even it they are true." She glared at me then to me son and opened her mouth to speak but I didn't give her the opportunity. "Always a pleasure, Kikyo, but we must be going. Good day." With that I turned away taking Shadow by the hand and pulling him with me as we made our way to the front to check out. Once we got into the car and were heading towards Sesshomaru's, I looked in the rear-view mirror to see Shadow pouting. He caught my gaze and held it as long as I did, which wasn't very long considering I'm overly cautious when driving.

"Mom, who was that witch?" he asked in an aggravated tone. I knew where his temper came from and all I could do was sigh at it. At least he was only like this when he felt the need to defend me.

"No one important, just someone I knew when I was younger."

"I don't like her."

"Neither do I sweetheart. Neither do I." We were quiet the rest of the ride. When we arrived I was surprised to see Sango's car there. Shadow helped me carry the groceries inside and towards the kitchen as I called out a hello through the seemingly empty house. I laughed when we got into the kitchen and everything was a mess including a disheveled Sesshomaru practically falling asleep at the kitchen table with a cold cup of tea in his hand. He murmured hello but I'm sure he wasn't aware of it. Shadow and I began to clean the kitchen and unpack the groceries when laughter was heard coming towards us. Sango and Rin walked into the kitchen with baby Elliot snuggled soundly in his mother's arms.

"Kagome! I didn't realize you were already here," Rin said cheerily. She looked wonderful in comparison to Sesshomaru. She glanced at her mate sympathetically before walking over and placing kiss on his mate mark. "Sweetie, go lie down until dinner. I'm done with my nap, it's your turn," she whispered. He gave a weak smile and slurred something incoherent before dragging himself up and sauntering off towards their bedroom. I giggled and drank this all in because I would never get to see Sesshomaru this way again once he got into the swing of things.

"Sango, I thought you weren't coming over until after dinner," I said as she walked towards us and began to help unload the groceries.

"Me too until Inuyasha showed up. I decided to give them bro-time because I'm so wonderful," she said sweetly.

"And they were discussing business?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. She frowned.

"Yeah. Truthfully they kicked me out. Even Kai said it needed to be just men and tell Shadow he was missing out," she pouted. I heard Shadow chuckle beside me.

"Shadow is actually in trouble so I don't think he would be allowed to go even if we weren't busy," I said in my motherly tone as I pinned him with my eyes. He deflated to look more his age as his bottom lip began to quiver and it took everything I had not to swoon and coon to make him feel better.

"Mom, she was being nasty and smelled nasty. Someone had to say it," he whined innocently.

"Where did you even learn that word?" I asked. His eyes shifted to Sango then back to me before he looked down and his cheeks heated. "Miroku. I should've known." I turned to Sango. "Will you call Miroku and tell him I'm going to kill him?" I asked calmly.

"What did he do?" she asked.

"Apparently taught my son the word 'whore,'" I answered dryly.

"He did what?!" she yelped as she dug her cell phone out and hit speed dial. Walking away I could hear her yelling at Miroku. "I can't believe you taught him that! Don't you 'Sango, dear' me lecher, you are denied for a week. Yes a week! Serves you right!" I giggled at the two. To anyone who didn't know them better, they'd call the relationship unhealthy but I knew them both too well to make that assumption. Sango was the ass-kicking Miroku needed and the only person his charm didn't work on while Miroku was the unconditional love and comfort the guarded Sango always needed not to mention one hell of an understanding punching bag. She slammed her phone shut and returned to our side. "Don't worry about him. He's been taken care of." She sighed. "So, what are we making?" she asked as her smile returned. I smiled back and we started to prepare dinner together. Shadow sat in the living room with Rin and played with Elliot in between helping his Aunt clean up. Once dinner was prepared, he went to retrieve his uncle from taking a nap so we could all eat. As we sat around the table, I had to smile at the majority of my family I loved so much surrounding me. It really did feel good to be home.

"Hey, Mom?" Shadow's voice called, breaking me from my musings.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Can I stay in a different room than the one you put my stuff in?" I furrowed my brow at him.

"I don't see why not, but it's your uncle's house. You should ask his permission first," I chided.

"I did and he said I needed to ask you." I looked from my son to Sesshomaru who was looking at me and shaking his head. My gaze shifted back to Shadow before I asked, "which room are you wanting to stay in exactly?"

"I don't know what it's called but it's red and I really like the way it smells in there. I was on my way to get Uncle Sess when I smelled it. I can't explain it I just really like it. I haven't smelled that in a long time it feels like but I don't know what 'it' is, ya know?" My eyes widened and I looked back to Sesshomaru who shot me an apologetic glance. He must have left Inuyasha's room untouched all these years which was insane considering how much he disliked him. I just shook my head knowing I didn't want Shadow in that room, but also knowing I couldn't deny him at the same time since I was already denying him his father.

"If it's ok with your uncle then fine, but remember you're a guest," I sighed and scolded all in the same breath.

"Yes Momma," he said sweetly. Once dinner was done, we cleared the plates and I cleaned the dishes while Sango cleaned other areas of the house. It was hilarious to see the trail of untidiness that wrapped around and through the mansion after just three days of being home with the baby. I'm sure they would get the hang of it soon but now was another story. Once I was in done cleaning the kitchen, I made some tea and took it to everyone in the living room, joining them to coo over the sweet baby. Shadow was holding Elliot and tickling his tummy, causing adorable fits of laughter from the tiny bundle, when I noticed Sesshomaru freeze and his eyes narrow.

"Sesshomaru, what is it?" I asked as he placed his tea down and cursed under his breath.

"The fool never calls," he said in a monotone voice reserved for one of two people: his brother or his father, neither of which I wanted to see right now. Sesshomaru crossed the room to block the door when it burst open and the great Toga Taisho entered with a huge smile.

"Sesshomaru my boy! How are you holding up? I thought this place would be a wreck but it looks like you two are doing fine after all," he said with a billowing laugh. While he was speaking, I moved to block Shadow from view and Rin carefully took the baby from him as she stood to walk towards her mate and his sire in hopes of distracting from the other company.

"What are you doing here father?"

"Can't your old man just want to see his first born grandson?" he asked in response.

"No considering you've seen him twice already and he's not a week old. We don't need to be pestered." Sesshomaru was truly a master at malicious monotone, it was no wonder they called him the Ice Prince.

"Hello, Taisho-sama," Rin said in a sweet and quiet voice. "How are you this evening sir?" Toga turned from scowling at his son to grinning at his daughter-in-law and the adorable bundle of joy in her arms.

"Hello Rin and hello little Elliot," he cooed as he stuck his claw finger out for the tiny one to grab onto. "I'll never know why you gave him such a peculiar name- OW!" he screeched as he pulled his finger back as if it had been burned. The baby giggled wildly and Sesshomaru let out a chuckle.

"It seems he likes his name enough to defend it already, father."

"Indeed. My mistake," Toga laughed before sniffing the air. He stared over his son's shoulder to notice the company he had and was trying to keep concealed. "I didn't know you had guests. Who are these lovely young ladies? Is that Sango and Kagome?" he asked as he brushed past the couple and headed towards us. My heart started to pound in my chest as he inched closer. Toga Taisho was a man of power and just as scary as I remembered, physically. He was muscular, more like Inuyasha's bulk that Sesshomaru's lean, and his eyes, though able to soften any time, remained hard and calculating for the most part. His hair was silver like his sons and pulled up into a high pony tail. Anyone would be a fool to not be intimidated by him. His eyes were narrowed and I knew it was too late; he had smelled his true first born grandson even if he hadn't put two and two together yet…

Sesshomaru moved with lightening speed to be in front of his father again, blocking him from coming any closer. "Father, don't be rude," he warned. Though his back was turned I could hear the sneer on his voice in his words.

"Why would I do that? I'm not you my son," Toga shot back. "Is Inuyasha here?"

"No, why?"

"I swear I thought I smelled him… but not just him… it was different… somehow, I-" His eyes drifted to the seven year old hanyou peeking over my shoulder and gold eyes met gold eyes. "Oh, my…" A snarl ripped through Sesshomaru's chest and Toga responded with one of equal proportion. They continued these noises back and forth like they were speaking, which I imagine they were, before Toga nodded and looked back towards us. "I'm pretty foolish for not seeing it sooner. Kagome, can I meet him?" I looked at Toga with a hard gaze, assessing the risks in letting my son near the old demon. I knew he wouldn't hurt him or anything, but I was afraid he might say something to alert Shadow to his relationship with Inuyasha. I took a deep breath and nodded before standing. I looked back at my son.

"Shadow, meet your grandfather, Toga Taisho," I said quietly. Shadow stood behind me and looked up at me quizzically yet innocently before looking back at Toga who had side stepped Sesshomaru to be in full view but didn't advance until given permission. Shadow stepped from behind me and cautiously walked towards Toga. I was holding my breath. Once he got right in front of him, Toga knelt down to be eyelevel with the seven year old.

"Shadow's an unusual name. I like it," Toga said softly.

"Thanks. My mom says it's really appropriate. Toga's a weird name. I'm not sure I like it." Toga through his head back in laughter.

"I have to agree with you there but we don't get to choose our own names do we?" he asked with a soft chuckle. "You can just call me Jii-chan."

"Sounds good," Shadow said with a smile. They continued talking for awhile and I finally began to relax before I looked at the clock.

"Shadow, it's past your bedtime. You need to get your bath and some sleep ASAP mister," I scolded when I realized Toga's visit had thrown me off and it was an hour later than it should be for Shadow to still be awake. He pouted and gave me his puppy dog face that looked just like his father. I growled and he quickly bid Toga and everyone else goodnight and ran up the stairs towards the bathroom.

"I'll go help him with his bath," Sango offered as she slipped away before I could reply.

"I need to go get Elliot changed as well. Sess, honey, would you go get the monitors set up for Kagome-neechan and Sango-kun please?" Rin said rather quickly.

"Of course dear," Sesshomaru answered. And then they were gone, leaving just me and Toga.

"Higurashi. I should have known where I remembered that name from when I sent Inuyasha to therapy. It makes since why he called to thank me now. He never thanks me," Toga rambled, most likely putting clues together for himself aloud. "Does he know?" I looked at Toga with sad eyes before I looked down and shook my head.

"I don't want him to know," I said softly.

"That's silly. He's going to find out eventually and you know it." I didn't say anything because I knew he was right. "I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner," he whispered. I looked up to see his eyes looking at me with apathy and sorrow and guilt.

"See what sooner?" I asked confused by his statement and the expression that accompanied it.

"You're his mate. It's why things didn't work with Kikyo," he explained. Her name sent a shiver of anger and disgust up my spine as I grit my teeth.

"He made his choice and said his peace seven years ago whether it was his idea or not. He can't take it back and there's nothing anyone can do to make it better. I'm not going to put my son through the same disappointment I had to suffer and if that means using concealment powder for the rest of our lives, then so be it."

"Kagome, you can't let my mistakes effect Shadow."

"Don't tell me anything about my son. You don't know him. You just met him and I'm not being ugly but if you hadn't shown up so suddenly, you probably never would have." He narrowed his eyes at me but then they softened.

"I deserve that but Inuyasha doesn't. Neither do you. Do you know what it means to produce an heir to an Inu-hanyou?" I furrowed my brows at him.

"Not sure I understand what you're asking," I replied.

"I mean it's one thing to birth an heir to a full blooded dog demon. You don't have to be mates to breed. But for a hanyou, the only way they can sire a child is with their one true mate. Even then the child comes out mostly human and the father always outlives his child. It's a sad thing and the reason most hanyous avoid mating humans. The fact that Shadow is completely half and half like his father means the connection between you is that much more powerful."

"Forgive me for disagreeing but we're not mated," I said flatly.

"Not yet, but the connection of your souls happened long before you even met. It's a fate thing, not a ritual thing. The ritual is to keep you by his side physically but spiritually and emotionally, you've always been together and always will be together." I choked on a sob that wanted to rack my body very badly. I held my composure and let his words sink in.

"I don't think that's possible."

"Kagome, I'm sorry I forced you apart. I never thought he'd actually find his true mate so I figured we should push him towards something beneficial as opposed to just something I considered a teenage fling. I know how wrong I was now and I truly am sorry." I let a single tear escape but smiled as I whipped it away.

"Despite your involvement, you're not at fault and you're not the one who needs to be forgiven so it's ok. Inuyasha and I have a lot to talk about before we can get to where we need to be to have anything happen but I really don't see us ever reaching that point. I really don't want him in our lives as heartless as that may be."

"I understand and it's your decision to make but I hope he finds out soon. He'd make a wonderful father." I laughed at that because I knew it was true while images of his encounter with our son proved otherwise.

"You wouldn't say that if you saw them together. Talk about stubborn and argumentative," I chuckled. He smiled.

"It's a hanyou's right to protect his mother from anything and everything included his father. You should have seen Inuyasha when he was four and hit me with a chair because I made his Mommy cry," he laughed.

"Shadow got in trouble a lot with other kids when they said anything about me, he immediately started punching and kicking and those poor kids didn't stand a chance. He's a handful."

"I bet. But honestly, even if you don't let Inuyasha know, I want Izzy to meet Shadow. She'd probably cry the first hour and not let him out of an embrace but I know how much it would make her happy and I live to please my mate," he said in a gentle voice as his eyes glazed over in loving thought at the mention of his mate.

"I don't have a problem with that only if she can keep if from Inuyasha. I don't want him to know… not yet at least." Toga nodded. "You have my office number so give me a call and we'll find some time. I know Shadow will love her," I said with a smile. Toga nodded before turning to leave with a final farewell over his shoulder. I'm glad he didn't try to hug me like he used to when we were in high school. He was always a wonderful man but learning how much of a role he played in Inuyasha's actions had me apprehensive to say the least. I would get over it soon enough but Inuyasha's actions were his alone and that's going to take me a lot long to get over than anything else I could hope for. I plopped down on the couch as Sango re-entered the room.

"Sounded like it went alright," she said sympathetically.

"I guess. He wants Shadow to meet Izzy."

"How do you feel about that?"

"Like she won't be able to keep a secret." It was the truth. Izayoi Taisho could never lie to her son, he would know in a heartbeat.

"Yeah… since you agreed does that mean you'll tell him?" she asked carefully.

"No… it just means she won't meet Shadow for awhile. I can't keep this from them forever. One day, there won't be any concealment-powder available and they'll both know. Shadow knows the scent all too well, that's why he's in his room right now," I said with a heavy heart. I felt her hand rub gently on my back.

"Hey, it's going to be ok. Whatever happens is for the best," she said soothingly. I let a couple of tears fall before I leaned over to embrace her and let myself have a short moment of weakness before we got back to work cleaning and helping with the baby.

Shadow stood on the other side of the door frame covertly listening to his mother and aunt discuss his newly introduced family. His eyes widened when they mentioned the scent he loved and how it was related to his estranged father somehow. He slipped away and up the stairs to the all red room he loved. The smell that engulfed it made him relax and happy at the same time. He remembered it from awhile back, but where he wasn't sure; most likely the sweatshirt his mother kept all those years. He looked around the room and spotted a large closet that looked promising in his hunt for clues that would help him better understand just what was going on. He opened the large red door and looked into the room lined with racks of clothes and shoes, which were all probably red, obviously, despite being shrouded in darkness. He reached up and searched for a light switch to make his sleuthing easier. Once he found it and flipped it, he gazed at the now well lit closet that was red, just like he predicted. The clothes were a mix of red, black, and white, and occasional blue shirt or blue jeans thrown in the mix but not much. He looked at the top shelves covered in shoe boxes and sniffed the air, searching for any clues. He caught a whiff of his mother and followed the nearly none existent trail towards the back of the walk-in closet to the bottom where a small box was tucked away in the back behind some hung clothes acting as a curtain. He pulled it out and sat down on the floor, sniffing the box carefully.

"That's weird. Why would I be able to smell mom on this thing. It hasn't been touched in years," he thought out loud as he blew the thick layer of dust off the top and lifted the lid on the box. Inside, there were numerous pictures, a couple pieces of jewelry, notes, movie tickets, receipts with different things scribbled on the back; it was a cornucopia of stuff. Shadow started sifting through the junk to make since of it all. Each one of the pictures was of his mother a long time ago; she looked a lot younger and a lot happier. He recognized his Uncle Miroku and Aunt Sango but most of the pictures were just of his mom and the Inuyasha man he wasn't very found of. They were in a park on some swing sets in one picture looking at each other lovingly. He flipped the picture over to see his mother and Inuyasha's name, the name of a park, and a date on the back. Another picture, they were sitting at a picnic table looking at each other the same way; flipping the picture over, once again, their names, the name of a high school, and a date were scribbled on the back. All the pictures either had then looking at each other in the same way or one would be posing for the picture while the other looked lovingly towards them, like no one else in the world was around or more important.

He took some of the receipts with different things scribbled on the back: one was bleeding with tic-tac-toe games where K beat I by a landslide of tally marks; some had notes of endearment like 'thanks for dinner' or 'thought about you today' with an arrow pointing to the place of business; other's had little hearts drawn every which way.

He set these aside and picked up the jewelry that was in the box. The first piece was hemp bracelet with different beads and charms braided into it that smelled like his mother. It looked worn and the ends frayed as if it was ripped off. The second was a beaded necklace with fangs looped in at different points. He looked at the necklace then back at one of the pictures to notice Inuyasha was always wearing it. Looking closer, he notices his mother always had the bracelet on in the pictures, along with another long necklace. He set the necklace and picture down and continued to riffle through the box.

Observing the movie tickets that came in pairs, Shadow noticed a number at the top of the ticket's circled that seemed to be counting the number of movies seen as well as little comment like 'two thumbs up' or 'way to cheesy' written at the bottom. It was like someone was keeping track of how many movies were seen and what the other person thought of the movie they saw. He set them aside and continued digging.

He tried to read the different notes but they were in some kind of language he didn't understand, which aggravated him because he knew Japanese, English, and Spanish enough to know these weren't even close to whatever the gibberish was on the pages. The only intelligible symbols he could make out were a heart next to his mother's name on some and a heart next to Inuyasha's name on others.

Setting the notes aside, Shadow could finally see into the bottom of the box where the only remaining things were two pictures lying face down. 'No matter where we go in life, my heart will always be right here with you and no one else' was scribbled on the back of one. He flipped it over to see his mother and Inuyasha sitting in an open field, him sitting Indian-style, her laying her head on his lap gazing up at him and smiling while he looked down at her with a grin. She was twirling her necklace in her hands while he had one hand on her bracelet and the other in her hair. Shadow set the picture back down and returned his gaze to the other. 'No one will love you as I love you and I'll never forget the moments we shared. Summer will forever be in my mind' was scribbled on the back in a different handwriting than the rest. He flipped it over to reveal his mom and Inuyasha kissing.

"Yuck!" he exclaimed as he flipped the picture back over not wanting to see that anymore. The date on the back got his attention; it was almost eight years ago now, right before his mom went to America. "Wait…" he whispered as he looked around at all the things he'd taken out of the box, slowly putting it together in his mind.

"Shadow where are you?" he heard his mother's voice from the other room. Quickly, he threw everything back into the box and returned it to his hiding place before the closet door swung open. "What are you doing in here sweetie?"

"Nothing, just looking around," he said as he ran out and hopped in bed. "Goodnight!" He turned over and grinned, knowing tomorrow he would get to the bottom of this. His mind was reeling with questions and possibilities but the overwhelmingly relaxation from the scent of the sheets caused him to drift to sleep before he could plot anything of sheer consequence.

A/N: Bum, bum, bum… Will Shadow figure it out? Wait and see. R & R and let me know how I'm doing J