A/N: Hey guys! Yesh!! Helly Yeahs i am BACK! lol. yeah... after so long and only to be a chapter redone... dissapointing?
But this was needed! I am greatly sorry, but i had to, the previous chapter wasn't going along with what i wanted for the prequel. So i had to redo and i'm sorry its taken me so long, i've had school, cross country and lackage of motivatiion, but im back and hopefully the updates shall come more now! So please read and review and im sorry about the change, now it might confuse you... but i kept some things the same, others i changed. you have a surprise awaiting you! ;).
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or its characters or 'Miss Sobriety' by CIWWAF.
Hey, Miss Kuchiki
You Caused the Confidence but You Never Taught It How to Stay
Ichigo turned his head from the section of warmed foods in the Super Market to see what Rukia was getting. It appeared she was going with a safe choice of a deli made sandwich, with, were those Circus Animal Cookies? He squinted to see, and sure enough, they were cookies. He shook his head and rolled her eyes, fully knowing now that she was still the same Rukia.
Their special café had turned out to be a bust; it had closed approximately ten years before. Both Ichigo and Rukia had realized how similar that was to their own 'story' but both had avoided the subject. Now, they were stuck buying little things they found in the Grocery section, planning on having a little makeshift picnic. Leading him to almost get a pound of chicken stripes, but when he saw Rukia wrinkle her little nose, he quickly decided to just stick with a sandwich, much like her. Not that he was doing it to benefit her or anything, or that'd it'd make her happy; he just didn't want to deal with her constant whining that he knew would come.
After he thought that, he had to rethink it again, his last thought made things sound like he still knew her as good as he did before. But he didn't, he really didn't know anything. It was weird, this feeling. It made him feel like she was a stranger or something. Like he hadn't known her, let alone loved her, ten years ago. It scared him and he immediately thought about something new.
"Sir, Here's your Sandwich." Ichigo felt slightly dazed, that's how deep his thoughts had gone, when the deli clerk had tried to hand him his food.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Thanks." He grabbed the wrapped piece of food.
The man nodded and Ichigo quickly wiped the confusion off his face as he turned back to Rukia to smile and nod for her to follow him to the checkout counter.
"What was that about?" Rukia asked, looking up at him to give him an odd look.
"What?" Ichigo asked.
"You spaced out back there." She said, looking forwards again, and then added absentmindedly, "You never used to do that."
Ichigo frowned, great, that thought just had to come back to him in some form or another. He almost wanted to stop right there and point out that he wasn't the same but decided against it, he didn't need to start any more fights.
"Hey, I'll take that." Ichigo reached for her food and went to the self-checkout center. He skillfully slid the items across the scanner and bagged them. Rukia smirked.
"Wow, You sure know you're way around those things, don't you?"
Ichigo slid his credit card through the slot and looked up at her smiling idiotically; he nodded his head. He pulled the receipt off its little printer and grabbed the bag.
"Come on. Let's go." He said. She smiled also and followed after.
Blah (this should be a small damn spacer)
"It's kind of chilly." Rukia commented outside, pulling her jacket tighter. She felt awkward, walking next to him, he was so tall, and she suddenly couldn't remember what she usually did with her hands when walking.
"You want my sweater?" He asked, looking down at her sideways.
She rolled her eyes, trying not to show how she felt awkward. But, since when was he so sensitive? "No, I wouldn't want you to catch cold or anything." She said it in a sarcastic voice.
Ichigo shrugged his shoulders, "Suit yourself."
"Can we sit over there?" Rukia asked, pointing a finger at a spot under a tree with some nice shade.
"Yeah, sure," Ichigo said, moving off the pathway onto the grass. She got there first and plopped under it, her back resting against the base of it. Ichigo sat next to her, his back also leaned against the tree. He sat the shopping bag down and got their things out.
"Ichigo," Rukia asked, looking out at the people passing and the kids playing.
Ichigo looked up from setting the things, "Yeah?"
"Did you miss me?"
He gave her a confused glance. "Of course I did."
"Oh." Was all she said, as if she expected something different, something that revealed more.
"Why do you have to ask, I mean, shouldn't that be pretty obvious?" Ichigo asked after Rukia said nothing.
"I guess I just wanted to know for sure. With the way things ended, I would've believed that you hated me." She looked at her hands almost self-consciously.
"Well, it wasn't just you. I did some of it, too." Ichigo didn't like the uncomfortable feeling that hung over them, making their conversations awkward. He also didn't like seeing Rukia feel bad, especially when it wasn't all her fault. He wanted to make her feel better.
"Yeah, but, I don't know, I guess I just really wish I could take it all back."
Ichigo sighed, something that hadn't changed was her stubbornness. "Look, I forgive you. And I'm sorry too but I think it would just be best if we forgot about all this shit and moved on. Okay?" He tried looking in her eyes, but instead hers looked away. "You know that things don't have to be awkward between us, right?"
She finally looked up at him and gave a halfhearted smile. "Yeah, I know. It's just that it's so hard."
"What's so hard?"
"Thinking of you like this." She said in a louder voice as if she were unleashing some force. "I went for ten years only thinking about you every once in a while. And do you know how long it took me to get over you? Even, now I'm not all the way over you." She was so overworked, that she didn't realize what had just slipped, instead just continued. "I don't know how I feel, I know that being with you isn't the smartest thing and its not the healthiest, but it's hard." She repeated. "I want to be your friend, and I want to keep talking to you and hanging out with you. I missed you, and I still miss you. Okay? So, I'm sorry, but it's hard."
Ichigo was still surprised by her outburst, but still managed to reply. "Okay, I'm sorry, too. I didn't know you felt that way, exactly. But now I do, and I want to say, I feel the same way. Kind of."
She let out a little nervous chuckle, "Thanks."
"Sure," Ichigo chuckled too, seeing it was okay as she had a smile on her face as she took a bite of her food.
"Ichigo?" She asked again.
"Yeah?" He asked, taking a bite of his own food.
"Since we're on the subject, what did you do after things ended the last time. Like, with yourself and your life?"
"I just tried to pick things up," He shrugged, "I got a job at a grocer y store," he paused to smile over at her. "I saved up money and enrolled in the local college. Things got better from there, I got over… things, got involved in an architect thing and soon I had worked my way up to where I am now. Not many big things happened…" He trailed off, making it seem as if his life prior to this moment had held nothing significant. "How about you?" He asked her, not wanting to keep things spotted on him.
"Well, first, I called my brother, got some money." Ichigo saw her look rather foolishly rueful, though he restrained from commenting anything along the lines of her lineage of money.
"He was disappointed in me, I spent a while on the phone, just taking his ranting about my 'choices', I didn't listen to most of it, I was still numb." She paused to look up at him sadly, but Ichigo felt something there.
She was definitely telling a lot more than he had, leaving nothing out. She even added things that should make both of them cringe but she said everything as if she were talking about the weather. It gave him the impression that she was completely over him, had no strings at all still attached, felt nothing more for him than he did for … Byakuya, but she had just barely said she still wasn't completely over him. And that little thought consoled him and helped him listen as she gave him the rundown of the last 10 years of her life.
"But then I guessed he was right, I needed to find my center, to find my meaning. So I rented a hotel room, stayed there for a while but it didn't feel right and I went home. I was there for a few months; he pulled some strings, of course, and got me into college. I went through that, feeling incomplete in a few ways. But I began to make friends, got serious with a guy." She looked up to gauge his expression. It was slightly shocked; he hadn't expected her to get this thorough with her story. "His name's Renji, but he's more like a brother now. Well, actually it's weird, because I used to know him, when I still lived with Byakuya, we were friends, so things kind of got different when I saw him again…. But that's over now, obviously. So, then I began an internship at the law firm I work at now, worked my way up to the job I have, met Ryo and you know how things are now." She finished breezily.
"Wow," Ichigo said, almost at a loss for words. "You didn't need to tell me all of that." He said, once he was thinking right again.
"No, it's okay. I know you said things shouldn't be awkward, and I realized that you were right. They shouldn't. I'm sorry for putting up that barrier, though things I think will always be a bit weird."
He nodded his head, "Yeah, your right, it was just a surprise, that's all."
They took a little break so they could eat for a moment, then Rukia spoke again.
"Ichigo, do you remember all the times we came back to each other?"
Her words brought a rush of memories back, most not very good.
"Yeah, I remember them. How could I forget?"
"Yeah, I don't mean to bring them up to hurt you or anything, it's just I also wanted to say sorry for those, too."
He smiled and couldn't help but laugh a little. "You need to stop saying sorry all the time. I told you, it's all okay."
She also laughed slightly. "I know, but I do want you to know I'm sorry for all the pain and stuff I caused."
Their smiles both faltered as they looked each other in the eyes, and knew both were equally apologetic.
Ichigo wasn't proud of those times, and felt he might as well as get it all off his chest just as she had seemed to do.
"Look, I know we're both sorry, but I think I need to say sorry for all the embarrassment I caused you. I never got to say sorry about that, we never really talked, just those few times when we saw each other." He hated how he kept beating around the bush, but he didn't want to say anything embarrassing, and he also didn't know any other way to say 'hook up', a nicer way. "It must have been embarrassing, me coming after you always drunk." He laughed though it wasn't a humorful subject. "So anyway, I just wanted to say sorry, too. But I do think we can stop saying sorry now." He smiled again, and noticed that Rukia was oddly quiet, she had been while he was talking, too.
She was looking away from him, almost purposefully. He leaned over so he could look at her and was surprised to see a tear sliding down her cheek. He saw it and automatically felt bad, she wasn't supposed to be crying they were supposed to be moving on. But he still felt the urge to comfort her nonetheless.
Rukia saw him and her violet eyes opened wide, she lifted an arm to wipe it away, but before she could, Ichigo's hand stopped hers. One hand still holding hers, the other wiped the tear off.
She watched him with her eyes still wide open, his the same. He didn't know what he was doing, only that it was what felt right.
He knew what he was doing was wrong, but he couldn't help it and it felt so right, so fitting and normal. He leaned in and gently touched his lips to hers. He pulled back to see her expression, instead of disgusted which he had guessed, it was … happy. Her eyes were half lidded and she leaned back in herself. Without being able to stop himself, he leaned back in and willingly lost himself in her lips. And that was when he knew.
He knew things couldn't end here. They wouldn't and nothing could stop that. Just like ten years before, they would ruin their lives just to be with each other.
It made him mad that he had no control over himself yet he should have seen it coming. He had been living a semi boring life, it wasn't boring, but it had no flavor, no more zest. Day after day, it was all the same, then Rukia came back into his life. It had to have been fate or something, he hadn't seen nor thought of her for a long time. He had gotten over her, it had taken a long time, but it had happened; and then just when he felt sure he was okay without her, she pops back in his life.
Whatever they had had ten years ago, had been real. It had had substance, and it hadn't died then. It never would, it seemed it would keep burning even if they never thought about it. That something that told him they would keep in touch also told him that he should break things off with Reira. That little nagging thing scared him; it was the unknown. He wouldn't lie, part of him wanted to ditch Reira and run off with Rukia, but they weren't 19 anymore, they had lives they needed to get to. The safest thing would probably be to just end things here, maybe a few phone calls or visits, but if they continued to see each other, they would fall back into their habit.
Though he didn't want to, he stopped the kiss short, slightly breathless. She looked confused but still happy.
Ichigo was afraid of what more could happen, he didn't want things to escalate anymore, even though it was so irresistible.
"I think we need to stop this," He whispered to her, his eyes as unsure as his voice was.
Her eyes popped open and she jumped back from his touch, his words and the loud series of a horn honking catching her off guard.
"Ryo?" She asked, her eyes going from Ryo getting out of his car to Ichigo sitting on the ground.
She stood up, not knowing what to do and afraid of both men.
A/N: So what did you think, if you already reviewed and can't again, just send me a pm if you need to. I enjoy any form of communication! So with love and devotion, AquaPurpleBubble.
p.s.- i didn't read over it so there might be some major oh-uhsss... hopefully not though... Sweatdrop.
