Holy crap! This thing took forever to update! But you see, I'm a very stupid crazy person who decided it would be a riot to take on four AP classes junior year. My friend's doing the exact same thing, so she's just as crazy as me. Yes, go ahead and laugh. You just wait until my extracurriculars kick in, I might end up going an entire month without updating.

DISCLAIMER: "Why did you have to break down the door? It wasn't locked, and I just had it painted!"

Episode I: The X-Impulse (Part II)

Remy catches up with Rogue at her locker and taps her on the shoulder. She whirls around immediately, ready to fight.

"Easy!" Remy says, holding his hands up. "I won't shake things up." (They both wince.) "I promise." He starts gathering her books up. "My name's Remy. We should really talk."

Rogue snatches the books from him. "Whah can' everyone just leave meh alone?" She slams her locker and starts walking off.

"You feel sick every time you think about it, don't you?" Remy calls after her. "You want it to go away. But it won't. You're afraid of what might happen. Your parents are clueless. Probably ashamed. And being alone don't help."

"What, are yah readin' mah mind, too?" Rogue demands.

"Non!" Remy exclaims. "But," he adds, flipping over a strip of paper, "Your lucky numbers are 9, 12, 18, and 74." (1)

Tabby coughs threateningly.

"I mean," Remy says quickly, "It's just that I've been going through it myself. You know, trying to figure it out. But I've learned how to control it. Meet me outside the office in an hour. I'll show you how."

Magsy wheels out of…some building with lots of columns, talking on the phone with Jubes. "Sounds like Remy could be trouble. If he bonds with Rogue, we may not be able to reach her."

"I agree," Jubes says. "And he is reaching her."

"You have to stay with it, Jubes," Magsy says. "I don't want to lose her. Whatever obstacles get in the way, remember, they can be overcome. Magneto out." He hangs up the phone and puts it away. "Though some obstacles are more irritating that others," he adds, looking at the expanse of stairs he must now face.

In Bayville, Bobby and Pietro stop in the middle of the street (because pulling over's so overrated). "Aw, we lost him!" Pietro pouts, hitting the door panel.

"Hey, watch the door panel!" Bobby says. "They're smudge resistant, not dent resistant." The camera pans further away to reveal that they are not only stopped in the middle of the street, but also driving on the left side of it.

Pietro points to the roof of a parking garage. "There!" The camera pans up to Kurt standing in a hero lunge and glancing around. Then Mastermind rides up on his motorcycle. "Unfinished business, runt!"

"Bring it on, Herr Monkey," Kurt says, snikting out his claws. "Bring it on."

"NOT A MONKEY!" (2)

Monkey Dude rides straight at Kurt, who slashes off the front wheel of his bike. Monkey Dude plummets off the edge of the roof and swings into another floor, while the bike falls straight at Pietro and Bobby. They port out of the car, and the bike totals it. "My car!" Bobby exclaims.

"No worries, you'll get a new one the next time we see it," Tabby says. "Besides, that's what you get for parking in the middle of the left side of the street."

Kurt sheathes his claws and looks around before a car is shoved through the floor underneath him, knocking him over. Monkey Dude sends another car up through the ceiling before the floor crumbles under Kurt.

Monkey Dude drives a car at Kurt, trapping him against a column. "One shall fall by the other's hand," he says. "Our destiny, we can't change it."

"I didn't know you went for that philosophy mumbo jumbo," Kurt says, struggling against the car.

"Hey, monkeyball!" Bobby calls. "I got your destiny right here!" He blasts Monkey Dude aside and into a van.

Pietro flies at Monkey Dude…and bounces right off his chest. "What kind of weakling are you?" Bobby demands.

Kurt knocks Monkey Dude into conveniently open elevator, but Monkey Dude shoves him out as the doors close. "A taste of things to come, Nightcrawler!" he calls as the elevator descends and Kurt reduces the doors to scraps.

Bobby and Pietro join him. "Ha!" Pietro says. "We showed him! We are the X-Geeks!"

"I don't fight your battles," Kurt says angrily to Pietro. "So don't fight mine." He stalks off.

"ANGST!" Tabby shrieks. "Sorry."

"Aw, he loves us," Pietro says.

"Oh, yeah," Bobby says. "Big time."

In Illinois, Remy is slouching against the wall of the school, waiting for Rogue. "So, how do yah take control?" Rogue asks, walking up to him.

"By admitting something no one wants to cope to," Remy says. "That we are outsiders, and there is something wrong with us."

"…And this is why Lance should nevah evah give pep talks," Rogue mutters.

"Hey, don't fret it," Remy says. "Embrace it. The way I see it, fate dealt us winning cards…and even if fate didn't, I could win with those cards anyway."

"Not helpin'," Rogue says.

"I mean, fate dealt us winning cards…" Remy pauses for effect. "If we play them together."

"Well, nothing is making any sense," Rogue says.

"That's why I'm here," Remy says. "To light your path. And the first step leads us right into that office."

Rogue phases through the wall into the office, then runs over and opens the door for Remy. "Did yah see meh? Did yah?" she asks excitedly.

"Yeah!" Remy answers. "Wow, Rogue. How did it feel?"

Rogue jumps around, then stops when she sees Remy watching. "Yah know, Ah may not be able to knock you unconscious, but Ah can still totally kick yoah ass."

"Not to mention Kurt now has claws," Tabby adds.

Remy stares at the floor. "I'm looking at the floor, see?"

"It was totally unbelievable," Rogue continues.

"You're making it yours, Rogue," Remy says. "Once you own it, nothing can own you."

Outside the school, Roberto and Amara run up to Magsy and Jubes, who is now in her X-Geek Spandex™. "Where is she?" Roberto demands.

"She broke into the office," Jubes says.

Amara looks panicked. "She's never done anything like this before!"

"Wait, wait, wait," Jubes says. "Rogue's never done anything like this before?"

Amara, Jubes, Roberto, and Magsy all glance at each other, then burst out laughing.

"Okay, okay, okay, let's go," Roberto says, half-dragging Amara up the steps.

Inside the office, Remy has finished downloading the test answers to a floppy disk. "Test answers present and accounted for," he says smugly.

Rogue watches confusedly. "That's what this was about?" she demands. "Cheating?"

"Hey, this crummy school uses these kinds of tests to keep us down, chere," Remy says. "Now we're Sticking It To The Man™!"

"…Yoah weird," Rogue says after a moment. "Ah'm outta here."

Remy grabs her wrist. "What is it with you and grabbing wrists?" Tabby demands to Lance. "And how did you get out of your plane of nonexistence?"

Lance shrugs.

"What are you doing?" Remy asks Rogue. "Come on, chere."

"Let go of my daughter!" Roberto yells, bursting into the room along with Amara and Jean. "…That sounds weird."

"Far enough, old man!" Remy says, sending a bookcase down on him.

"Old man?" Roberto demands from under the bookcase. "You're older than me! Even de-aged you're older than me!"

Rogue punches Remy. "Cut it out!"

"They're just gonna confuse you, chere," Remy says, grabbing her wrist…yet again. "We're outta here."

"Let go of meh!" Rogue yells.

Remy Avalanches a hole in the wall. "We're in control now," he says. "We make our own way. Come on! I'm bringing this place down!"

Jubes puts up a mental shield. "You called your gift a curse," she says to Rogue. "If you go with him, I guarantee you it will be."

"Please, Rogue, listen to her!" Amara calls frantically.

"Too late, you're with me," Remy says, pulling Rogue along by the wrist. "…Why am I being such an asshole?"

"Good question," Tabby says. "But Lance already went back to his plane of nonexistence."

Rogue phases her wrist out of Remy's grip. "Lahke, as if! …Did Ah just say that?"

"Either Kitty influence or the fact that The Authoress is watching Clueless right now," Tabby says, painting her toenails.

In a fit of pissed-off-assholeness, Remy accidentally sends part of the ceiling down on Rogue. "Oh f---!" Remy yells. "I mean sh--! I mean cr--! I mean g--------! I mean-"

"Remy, just shut up now," Tabby says resignedly. "And be glad Jamie's in his plane of nonexistence."

Magsy wheels up to the Theatre of the Arts portion of the school right as it crumbles. 'Jubes, use your powers,' he orders telepathically.

'No shit, Sherlock,' Jubes mindspeaks back. 'But what about Rogue?'

'Keep your mind clear,' Magsy orders.

'But-'

'Keep your mind clear!'

'But-'

'Clear it!'

'Fine. (gumsnap)'

Rogue, meanwhile, phases through the rubble with a more-than-slightly cross-eyed look on her face. (3) "That's it. Ah'm outta here." She grabs Jubes and Amara, who grabs Roberto, and half-drags them out through the nearest collapsed wall.

"Yes, Rogue. It is a gift," Magsy says to Rogue. "And you've used it well."

Rogue gives Amara a hug. "Mom, Ah'm so sorry. And…Daddy…" Both Rogue and Roberto flinch. "These people want ta help meh. Ah trust them."

"I know. And so do I," Roberto replies.

"Corny!" Amara coughs.

"Shut up!" Roberto hisses back.

Later, Remy stalks off away from the ruined school.

Right into Ororo. "GAH!"

"I'd say you've blown our chances at this school, haven't you?" Ororo says.

"And you are?" Remy asks rudely.

"Your new advisor," Ororo replies. "I've made an opening for you at Bayville High." Remy gets more and more creeped out. "I have much to teach you, my young Gambit."

"Who are you calling young?" Remy demands.

"Hate to break it to you, but you're a teenager again," Ororo reminds Remy.

"…D-----!"

Jamie pops out of his plane of nonexistence. "Oooh, Remy said a bad word!"

"Remy!" Rogue, Ororo, and Tabby yell.

"Merde!" Remy yells. "I mean, s---! I mean, c---! I mean, d---! I mean, f---! I mean…" Remy gives up and RLF.

……………

(1) – In the movie Sky High, Warren Peace says something really deep and meaningful to Layla, and then adds, "And, your lucky numbers are…"

(2) – Mastermind really does resemble a monkey. And the line is Fang's, from Dave the Barbarian.

(3) – I swear, Kitty really does look like that when she phases out of it.

That's all for now, folks! By the by, does anyone know how long it takes for a broken foot to heal? Like, how long you gotta wear the cast and hobble around on crutches? Once again, it's for that ficcie I'm working on that I refuse to put up since I'm not halfway done with it yet. Yeah.

Up next, we meet our new not-so-Southern angst muffin! (Don't ask about the angst muffin, it's something I picked up from my friend.) Who's totally not into our not-so-fearless leader! What fun!