A/N-
Trigger Warning - Topics such as self-harm and suicide so have underlined the paragraphs containing it. Easily skippable. Enjoy.
The Community Meeting this Monday morning was rather boring but they decided on going to movies again the next day so Emma was happy. When everyone left the lounge Emma stayed in there as she decided to have a Harry Potter marathon throughout the day. She had brought the DVD's with her when she arrived and was putting The Philosopher's Stone into the DVD player when Will knocked quietly on the door. "Hey Will, are you alright?" Emma asked with a smile turning her body to give Will her full attention.
"Can I watch Harry Potter with you?" He asked so quietly Emma had to guess what he had asked.
"of course" Emma turned back around to close the DVD player and jumped onto the couch next to the back window of the lounge. Will sat with his knees up on the armchair opposite the TV. As the theme music started to play after the adverts Will spoke again.
"Which one is your favourite?"
"probably The Goblet of Fire, what about you?" Emma was taken aback that Will was speaking. Harry Potter really does bring out the best in people...
"mine is The Philosophers Stone" Will spoke louder this time; Emma didn't even have to strain to hear him.
"We are watching that one now, they are all good if I'm completely honest." But Emma didn't want Will to stop talking. "who is your favourite character?"
"I like Hermione, she is really smart and takes charge when solving problems. It contradicts societies views on women being weak"
The pleasantly surprised blonde turned her head slowly towards Will "that's why I love Hermione too!"
Will smiled and looked back towards the TV. They sat in silence for the rest of the movie. Emma planned to put the next movie on straight away once the first finished but Will walked out of the room before she could switch the DVDs so she turned the TV off and went to find the girls.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, apart from finishing The Girl on the Train and sliding it under Belles door for her to read, Emma was bored most of the day. She went to bed early in the evening and fell asleep quite quickly.
"Morning Emma" Regina spoke softly as she brushed golden hair from opening emerald eyes. "Morning Regina" Emma replied with a closed mouth smile. Regina turned to walk out as Emma called "Regina?"
"Yes Dear"
"Don't forget my cappuccino" Emma smirked
Regina scoffed and walked out of the room smiling.
Emma was getting her morning routine down to a fine art. First, she sat on her bed for a few minutes whilst she woke up fully, sometimes she would get out of bed to look out of the window at the garden below. Then she would plod into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth and hair. Occasionally she would shower in the mornings but as she had more free time in the evenings she preferred to do it then, as did the other patients. After that she would choose her clothing for the day, she had just done her laundry so, today, she had all of her clothes to choose from. She picked out a loose burgundy button up shirt, dark blue jeans and knee high brown boots. Finally, depending on her mood she may apply some make-up and today she decided on clear lip gloss and mascara. She wasn't particularly into make-up, not like Ruby was anyway.
When Emma was ready she left her room and headed down to the Dining room. She was there earlier than usual but Regina was sitting in her usual seat with both her own and Emma's coffees which made the blonde smile to herself as she put some bread in the toaster. She didn't usually eat in the mornings but today she was feeling a little peckish. As the bread toasted she leant over the table to pick up the drink that was made for her and sipped it. She placed it opposite Regina mouthing thank you with a smile. She usually sat next to Regina so the older woman furrowed her brows in confusion, Emma was acting completely different this morning. She seemed… Happy?
Emma buttered her toast lightly and sat down opposite the now slightly concerned brunette. Emma just smiled at the frowning woman and sipped at her drink. She looked around the table and realised everyone had arrived except Will and no one had noticed his absence yet. "I'm going to run upstairs and grab Will, I will be 2 seconds". Emma told Regina who nodded slowly and watched her jog out of the room.
Emma arrived on to the ward and no one was there, she jogged up to Will's door and knocked. "Will? It's Emma. I've come to get you for breakfast" Emma called through the door but there was no response. Emma knocked louder. "Will? Everything ok? If I've had to get up and you're still asleep I'm going to be so annoyed" she joked to hide her growing concern. She knocked once more and after no sounds from the other side on the door; she entered.
Emma walked around Will's bed to find the room was completely empty and was almost relieved until she saw the closed bathroom door. "Will?" Emma was shouting now. No response. Luckily the bathroom doors didn't have locks on them so the blonde was able to get in, although she immediately wished she hadn't.
Will was blue. Not blue in the emotional sense. His skin was the colour of the sky. Emma jumped into action. She could see something black around his neck and rushed to take it off. She quickly realised that he had tied his headphones around his neck and the knot was extremely tight. Emma was shaking so much she couldn't undo it; she couldn't even hold the knot in one place. She smashed her hand into the wall until she found the emergency alarm and pressed it whilst she tried to shove her fingers into the headphones to allow him a gap to breathe.
It felt like forever until Robin, Regina and 3 other nurses she hadn't met before from the adult ward came sprinting in. Regina pulled Emma out into the corridor and Will's door was shut. Emma couldn't hear anything; it was like she was underwater.
"Emma, are you ok?... Emma? Emma!" Regina was almost shouting into the younger woman's face.
The blonde wanted to scream and cry and fall on the floor but she didn't want anyone to worry about her. She could deal with how she was feeling, Will was more important right now. She looked up at Regina's eyes and smiled. The brunette frowned. "Emma? What's going on?"
"Nothing, I'm ok. Will is the one that needs help not me. I'm going back to breakfast" Emma tried to walk away but Regina grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.
"What?" Emma was irritated at not being able to run away and pretend she was fine.
"talk to me, Emma." All Regina got was a shrug and a facial expression she read as disgust so she let go of her arm and allowed her to leave.
The rest of the day was exhausting for Emma. She couldn't hide in her room like she wanted to or that would worry Regina, she couldn't cry or talk about how she felt for the same reason so she spent the entire day playing cards, watching movies and chatting with the other patients. The only time she got to herself was in the school room when she decided to do some practice exam papers so she was allowed to work on her own in the corner. Emma felt useless. She was the only one Will would talk to and she couldn't help him.
By the time the evening came around all Emma wanted was to go to sleep but her mind had other ideas. As if on autopilot the blonde ran a bath and got in fully clothed. She still had a small part of the plate from a few weeks ago that she had hidden behind the mirror on her wall. She took the shard of china against the arteries in her wrist and pushed down.
It was about 15 minutes later when Milah found the blonde unconscious in a bath of red water. She pushed the emergency alarm button and tried to pull Emma out of the bath which wasn't hard because she didn't weigh much. When the other nurses arrived and saw the water and the girl splayed on the floor they all thought she was dead. One woman screamed. August checked for a pulse and found a weak one "Call an ambulance now!" August shouted. He reached for the towel hanging on the back of the door and wrapped it around Emma's bleeding wrists.
Emma was unconscious for the entire ambulance journey. The paramedics hooked her up to monitors and within seconds the monitors were warning them that the patient was crashing. There was nothing they could do in the back of a 5-tonne moving vehicle so they all sat watching Emma fade away.
"Get some O neg" a well-dressed female doctor shouted to one of the nurses surrounding a scarily pale Emma in Resus. She has lost over half of her blood volume, she was in serious danger. The doctor attached the blood to Emma's IV and they all stood back and waited. The process was long and took 5 bags of blood to be transfused into Emma but after a few hours, the blonde was looking pink again.
When Emma eventually woke up David was by her bedside. "Emma?" David spoke quietly as if speaking too loud would make Emma sicker. Emma turned her head to look at her father and smiled. "Dad". Emma was happy to see him even if he was in his pyjamas. "What time is it?" Emma asked weakly. "It's around 2 in the morning sweetie" David looked at her like she was a puppy with a broken leg so Emma looked away. It was then that she saw August sitting on the other side of her bed. "Hey". August spoke just as quietly as David. "What happened?" Emma asked
"You lost a lot of blood but luckily Milah found you before anything…" He stopped mid-sentence, "the doctors want to observe you for a few more hours before discharging you."
"Is Will ok?" Emma remembered suddenly what had happened the day before and it made her chest hurt. David looked confused.
"Will is recovering well at the facility" This made Emma smile slightly and she turned back towards her father. A strand of her hair fell into her face and when she went to move it she noticed the thick bandages wrapped around both of her wrists. Everything clicked into place for her. She didn't remember what had happened the night before but she could take a guess. She took a deep breath and tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling in her stomach that she couldn't get rid of.
"Where is Mom?" Emma asked knowing the answer already.
"She is at home asleep, I thought it best that I came alone but she loves you very much" That was code for 'your mother was drunk when we got the call so I came alone so she wouldn't throw up on your bandages'
Emma nodded and smiled sadly. She was tired so decided to try to get some sleep.
Emma woke up to the fancy looking doctor checking her blood pressure. "Sorry my dear, this shouldn't take too long. Are you feeling any better?" Emma nodded and smiled assuming the doctor meant physically better. When the doctor left Emma sat up on the bed and stared at the bandages on her wrists.
"you did a good job I hear" a familiar voice came from next to her.
"Shit" Emma jumped and turned to find Regina sitting staring straight ahead.
Regina didn't even comment on the blonde's language. Emma looked at her for a while until "why are you staring at me Miss Swan?"
"I'm worried about you"
Regina suddenly looked angry. "you're worried! I was terrified Emma. I got a phone call from my mother at 2 o'clock this morning saying one of my patients was in the hospital and it wasn't looking good. I haven't slept. I changed my shifts around so I could come and see you. I've never been so scared in my entire life Emma" Regina was crying.
"your Mom?"
"your doctor is my mother" Regina replied with a sniffle.
Emma stared for a few more seconds and then climbed out of bed. She sat next to Regina and wrapped her arm around her neck to pull her into a tight hug. She stroked her hair for a few minutes just like the brunette had done for her until Regina cleared her throat and moved away.
"Why did you do it?" Regina asked in a whisper.
Emma shook her head and looked to the ground "I don't remember" she replied honestly. Regina looked at her sadly and nodded slightly.
They sat in silence for a few moments until Emma's bladder ruined it.
"I need the toilet" she announced whilst standing up.
"Let's go then" Regina stood to follow the blonde.
Emma turned and raised an eyebrow at the older woman.
"Dr Whale has told us to place you on one to one observations. I can't let you out of my sight I'm afraid"
"Well you can wait outside, I will be 20 seconds" Emma tried.
"Sorry, but if you're going to the toilet, I am going to be in the room with you."
Emma shook her head in disbelief "this is completely unnecessary! I'm fine and even if I wasn't, what exactly can I do in twenty seconds in a hospital bathroom!" Emma was borderline shouting.
"We are trying to keep you safe Emma. We failed before and I sure as hell am not going to fail now." Underneath the frustration Emma could tell Regina was trying to not cry again so agreed for Regina to accompany her.
Emma was not happy with peeing in the room with Regina; she liked her privacy. Regina stood sideways so she could see the blonde in the corner of her eye "I can only see your shape Miss Swan; I have no interest in watching you" Regina told the uncomfortable younger woman.
"I'm still not happy about it" Emma complained.
"I am aware" Regina giggled "why don't you sing?"
"what?" Emma replied with confusion.
Regina turned to the still standing blonde and explained "My theory is that nobody can harm themselves whilst they are singing. So I will make you a deal, I will completely turn away as long as your singing, however, the second you stop I will look."
Emma laughed at the older woman's idea but agreed anyway.
"do you have any song preferences?" Emma asked with a smile.
"Just use the toilet, the nurses will be concerned as to why we have been in here so long soon" Regina responded smiling to herself unbeknown to Emma.
"You're a terrible singer dear" Regina joked.
Emma lightly slapped her on the bicep as she sat back onto her bed.
"Well, I never claimed to be Adele" This made Regina laugh which Emma had come to adore from the usually stoic woman.
Emma looked out of the window during the journey back to the ward. She watched as the buildings, people and cars all blurred into one. She missed the freedom of walking down the street. Regina sat glancing at the blonde every now and then trying to gauge how she was feeling from her poker face. She drove just below the speed limit the entire way; this was unusual for the woman who had had more speeding fines than meals at McDonald's. Regina was reckless, she didn't care about her own safety most of the time but now she was in the car with the beautiful blonde she had come to know, she felt almost protective over her. Emma had missed sitting in the front of the car, she could almost pretend she was a normal girl getting a lift home from school. That was until Regina pulled up to the place she had recently started to refer to as 'home. "Can I trust you not to run this time?" Regina asked sincerely. Emma nodded and tried to open the car door; it was locked. "I'm not unlocking the door until you promise me"
Emma turned to look at the brunette's chocolate eyes "I swear I will not run… I will gallop" Regina tried hard to remain serious but the blonde's cheeky grin made her giggle. She unlocked the car and they both climbed out. Regina was quick to walk to Emma's side of the car to see she was standing waiting for her. The older woman smiled and placed a hand gently on Emma's lower back leading her back into the ward.
Ruby was the first to run up to Emma when the two arrived. "Em! What happened?!" the pretty girl asked with genuine concern. "Nothing Rubes, just a silly accident" Emma lied. Ruby noticed the blondes bandaged wrists and put two and two together. "You up for a game of Rummy?" Ruby asked changing the subject.
A few hours passed playing cards with the girls and seeing Will as he returned from his therapy session. Emma jumped up and hugged the young boy with Regina following her like a bodyguard. Will stood like a statue for a few moments but eventually hugged Emma back. Everyone on the ward watched in surprise, they didn't know the two were friends. "I am sorry Emma" Will whispered.
"what for?"
"they said you found me"
"mhh" the blonde nodded
"I am sorry you saw that"
Emma gave the boy a small smile and patted him on the back as she walked back to the card game.
Regina sat and watched Emma interact with the other patients. She saw how her eyes glistened when she laughed, how her tongue poked out between her lips when she was concentrating and how she purposely let the others win on more than one occasion. The blonde was working her way into Regina's cold heart and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
