Chapter Four: Ed accuses the Reaper of Stuffing
Oops. Ed thought, and rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Thanks." This was followed by what for Ed was a very uncomfortable silence. Now that his stomach had woken up, he was hungrier than he had been before the food. "So," he asked cheerily after a while, more to distract himself from his stomach than to break the silence. "Where are we going?" "Your cell, dimwit."
Ed deflated somewhat, but persisted. "Hey, Reaper, if you're a woman, how come you sound all deep and menacing and end of the world-ish?" "It is supposed to be intimidating." Edward smirked a little. "So the voice is fake?" Reaper sighed. "Yes. You also might have noticed that I'm not eight feet tall anymore." He hadn't actually, but decided not to mention it. "So the whole deal is fake huh. What about the…?" he waved his hands vaguely in the area of his chest. Ed was suddenly stunned by his own stupidity. "What about you shutting up before I earn a reprimand for beating a prisoner?" Reaper snarled. Having been beaten by a woman many times, specifically his alchemy teacher, Ed felt appropriately threatened.
Boredom soon overrode his common sense, however, and he began amusing himself by poking everything he could reach and seeing what happened. This was a mildly entertaining collection of tweets, beeps, and horn noises. "For virtue's sake, hold still!" Reaper barked at him after Edward began attempting to compose a melody. "Well, I'm bored!" he defended himself. "What kind of car doesn't have windows anyway?"
"The kind that runs underground, where there isn't anything to see!" Reaper snapped.
"My cell is underground? That's completely inhumane!"
"I live down here too, and if it's good enough for me, Condemned, it's more than good enough for you."
This didn't keep Ed from grumbling to himself about needing sunlight for vitamins. Reaper groaned and put her head down on her palm. "Law must still be mad at me, I swear."
"What this Law anyway? It almost sounds like a person." "Law is a person. He's in charge down here, like your king or president you had in Amestris."
"And he's personally out to get you?" Edward asked skeptically. He didn't think Reaper could be that important.
"I wouldn't put it past him." Reaper said darkly. "He's never forgiven me for laughing when he asked me to be his girlfriend, back he was still Discipline."
"You shouldn't have laughed I guess." Ed found himself interested in the bizarre turn the conversation had taken, and privately thought he'd certainly be holding a grudge if some girl had done that to him.
"It is not my fault he had pimples and a squeaky voice." Reaper said in an aggrieved tone. "I mean, I didn't even know his name when he asked me!" Ed shrugged. "But I'm sure somebody like you doesn't have any problems like that. You've probably been on loads of dates." "Errr…" he said.
He was saved from having to come up with a real answer but Reaper suddenly exclaiming, "We should have been there ages ago!" She began poking the wall again furiously and the panel that had lit up before did so again. "Duty's rerouted us! If he wasn't my superior officer now I'd hit him! I should have been home twelve hours ago! He's even classified the destination!"
Edward Elric found himself wondering what sort of history Reaper had with this superior. He was also beginning to think that everybody had a weird name. Duty, Law, Discipline, Strength. Reaper was the only one who didn't fit in. "Hey, is Reaper your actual name, or just the job description?" he asked. "It's the job title." He was about to ask her name, when the door slid open, revealing a black uniformed man and a conventional door with a knob, peephole, and knocker. Reaper glowered at him from her seat.
"Aren't you supposed to salute me, Mercy?" "Sin, Nii-san." Reaper said in the tone of voice Ed usually associated with a rude hand gesture and an explicative. He guessed that this was Duty, who was apparently Reaper's older brother. "Nice to see you too, sis." Duty said fondly. "Duty, why are we outside my apartment?" "Because Elric is going to be staying with you here."
A/N: DUDUDUDUDUHN!
