This AU one-shot was inspired by the song Closer. The story will also have some elements from Japril's storyline but it won't be like in the show.

Hope you like it.

Jackson had just got off after a hard day at the hospital and he had decided to go to Joe's. He was almost at the end of his residency and he couldn't wait to move out of the city. Sloan and him had already stated talking about fellowships and were he would want to go: Tulane was their first choice.

The bar was crowded and loud music was playing on top of it. He looked around for a few seconds before spotting Alex. He had gotten off work before him and had shared his plan to go to Joe's and knowing Alex, it wasn't to relax and drink. He was sitting next to a brow haired girl. One empty chair on each side of te table.

"Hey man." Jackson said as he got to their table.

"Hey, this is Maya. Her and her friend are new to the city. They got here from Moline." Alex said as he presented the woman.

"Oh, really? I once had a friend who came from Moline." Jackson said to end the awkward stares.

"It's a great place." Maya added.

They stopped talking for a minute and Alex restarted the conversation he had before his friend interrupted. Jackson didn't really care about it. He had came here to drink and if he could help his friend bang some girl in the process well, he was all for it. He had just got out of a relationship and it hadn't work for many reason. She was still in love with her ex and even though he never mentioned it, so was he.

The girl in front of him waived and Alex turned around. From what Jackson understood, Maya's friend was coming back from the bathroom. Alex elbowed his friend. So that was his plan; he would take care of Maya's friend while Alex would be having sex with her.

So he turned around to look at the woman he would fake interest in. At first, he didn't look at her face. All he could see was that little red dress she was wearing and how it highlighted all her curves perfectly. Then he looked up. She had curly red hair and her face... her face looked exactly like it did when they're had first met in college.

"Jackson?" She said, surprised.

"You know her?" Alex asked, looking at him confused.

"Yeah. We, hum, we dated in college."he said.

His face was pale like he had seen a ghost. How can it possibly be her? Last time he had see her, she had broke his heart and he had broke hers. He wanted to leave. He wanted to get up and run as far has he could from her, but his legs wouldn't move. He had waited so long to see her again but now that she was here with him, he wanted to disappear.

"We did more than date, you proposed." She said, reminding him of the last night they were happy.

"Wait, you were engaged? How did I not know that about you?" Alex asked.

"It not something you brag about." He lied. It wasn't that. He wouldn't mind people to know if he had gotten over April, it just that he wasn't. And he couldn't bare people knowing of his lost and making fun of him for it.

~ later ~

They had spent the pass two hours playing darts and pool. Alex and Maya were now making out in a corner while Jackson and April were doing their best to not look at each other.

The hardest part was not looking at Alex and Maya and not making fun of him. Jackson knew that his friend would probably stop caring about her the next morning and he felt sorry for April's friend.

"So, what brings you here?" He asked.

"It's a business/personal trip." She said, trying not to elaborate. But he looked at her once more and she felt like she owed him the truth. "I have a patient at GSM* and my fiancé actually works there. He's a paramedic. He recently transferred."

"You're engaged?"

"Yeah..."

"To Matthew Taylor?"

"You know him?"

"I work at SGMW." He said, keeping himself from telling her his family owned the place.

The exes aware of the tension in between them stopped talking.

~ the next morning ~

Alex walked into the living/kitchen room where Jackson was eating his breakfast. Alex opened the fridge and got the milk out, drinking straight from the carton.

"So any plans?" He asked between two sip of milk. "Are you gonna see your ex-fiancée today?"

"No."

"Are you gonna talk to me about her?"

"No." He repeated.

"Come on! I want to know about her. I want to know how the hell did you let her go."

"There's nothing to say. We were in med school and we thought we could run the world."

~ sometime ago ~

Jackson got down on one knee. His hand still holding April's. She had tears falling down her cheeks and a smile shun bright on her face. She looked beautiful. Her eyes were bright and looked directly into his.

"April Kepner, I have loved you from the very first moment my eyes met yours. I love you and I will love you until my very last breath. Will you do me the honour of my wife?"

"Yes." She whispered, giving him her left hand.

He placed the ring on her finger and lifted her up. He locked his lips on hers and smiled. She was going to become his and he would be hers.

"I love you." She said.

"I love you too."

~ a month later ~

"And?" He asked.

She hold the stick up so he could read the result.

"Pregnant." She said confirming what the stick had shown.

He looked at her for a couple of seconds, still in shock. They hadn't planned this. They were about to finish med school and start their internships.

"What are we gonna do?" She asked.

"I don't know." He said. He looked into her eyes. She was almost crying. "But as long as we are together, it's all gonna be okay."

He got up and cupped her face into his hands. She was looking at the ground. He knew she didn't want it to be this way, she had planned her whole life to the minute, almost.

"I love you." He said, lifting her her chin. "And I won't stop. Nothing will make me stop loving you."

"Okay." She said, looking straight into his eyes. "We're having a baby..." She said as a faint smile appeared on her face.

~ present time ~

"So, you have no feelings whatsoever about her anymore?"

"No." He lied.

"Cool..."

"Why?"

"Cause she's hot and I definitely want to score that."

"Didn't you just score her friend last night?"

"Yeah, and?"

"You're a jerk." Jackson said as he got up and put on his jacket. "I'm going for a run."

Jackson left the appartment and took his bag with him. He was ready to start the day but feared what he might find at the hospital.

You left me...

I didn't leave you, I was dying. I did what I had to survive...

What bugs you the most? That I left or that the thing I needed wasn't you...

The thing I needed was you...

I needed to survive...

I'm done...

Jackson ran to work and arrived in the ER about an hour after he left his apartment. He went directly to the attending' lounge. As he opened the door he saw a familiar red head inside the room. Next to her was Meredith, Callie and Arizona. The four woman were peacefully chatting while they changed into their scrubs.

Shit... He thought. He had already opened the door, he couldn't go back.

"Hey Jackson." Meredith said as he entered the room. "You're ready for our surgery?"

"Yeah." He said not really listening. He was too busy trying not to look at his ex-fiancée.

Meredith saw the woman Jackson was staring at. She hadn't seen her anywhere before.

"Who is she anyway?" She asked.

"I don't know." Jackson answered.

"So the why do you bother looking at her like she's your propriety?"

"She's no one." He restated.

"Yeah, sure... now hurry up or we'll be late." She said as she walked towards the OR.

"It's not like they can start without us." Jackson muttered as he looked at the red head woman one last time and followed his coworker.

~ lunch time ~

By the time he got to the cafeteria to eat his lunch, everyone knew about the new trauma surgeon and her paramedic fiancé. All he could hear were people talking about them and saying how cute they were. Everyone knew their engagement story and loved to tell others who hadn't had the time to hear it yet.

Everyone knew who she was but no one had yet pierce her past and no one had made the link between them. At least, for now.

As he walked towards his friends with his tray filled with junk food he saw something different, something that bothered him.

She was there, having a conversation with his friends. He wanted to run, to go hide or just leave. He didn't want to be outed. But most of all he didn't want to be hunt by his past.

But he couldn't walk away, he couldn't just leave. By the time he had decided to turn around and head for a meeting room, he had already been spotted by his friends who called him and urged him to sit.

Everyone but Alex seemed to be mesmerized by April and everyone seemed to want to know more and more about her.

He sat down, putting his tray on the table and revealing its content. April looked over at it and smiled.

"You still have that bad habit." She said, pointing his tray.

"Still?" Lexie asked, intrigued by the link her ex-boyfriend and the new surgeon shared. "Do you know each other?"

Jackson didn't want to respond but he had to.

"Yes. We went to the same med school." He answered. "We were in the same class."

"You used to share more than that." Alex muttered loud enough for everyone around the table to hear.

April had understood Jackson's resilience to talk about their relationship and tried to save him from more questions he didn't want to answer.

"We went out together for a while." She said.

Her answer only sparked more questions from Jackson's coworker and he had to fake an appointment to leave the table and find a quite place where no one would ask him about his ex red headed girlfriend.

~ some time ago ~

April and Jackson were waiting in the OBGYN's office. April's bump had grown quite a lot in the past 6 months. They had started to paint the nursery. In a neutral color of course since they didn't want to find out the gender. At first, their parents had been alarmed by the pregnancy news but now they were all patiently waiting for the baby to come. They couldn't wait to see their little Buddha on the screen. They had started to call him that since it was the position he had been in for the past two sonogram.

"April Kepner." The receptionist called out.

Jackson got up and helped his fiancé out of the seat. They walked into the small room and April laid on her back and lift up her shirt. Jackson took her hand and smiled at her. They were happy, so happy and they had no idea what was coming their way.

"Are you ready?" The OB asked.

"Yes." April answered enthusiast. "Let's see the little Buddha."

The OB placed the cold gel on her bump and placed the *scanner* afterwards. She started moving the device to look for the baby. Two pairs of eyes were looking at the monitor, waiting to see their little one appear on the screen.

And there he was, still in the same position. The doctor's face changed when she saw the tiny human, but April and Jackson didn't notice as they were both mesmerized by the screen. The doctor lifted the device and placed it back at its place.

"Okay, so we're done for now but I have to check something. Wait here I'll come back" the OB said before walking out the room.

April had Jackson looked at the woman walk out and hadn't thought about it twice. Everything was fine and their baby was healthy since she hadn't say anything.

The OB came back in the room with a sterne look on her face.

"Can you come to my office." She asked.

The couple looked at each other and followed her. April squeezed Jackson's had harder, afraid of what might be going on.

They sat down in front of the doctor's desk and looked at her, all the questions they had plastered on their face.

"This will be difficult to hear, and I'm really sorry I have to do this but your baby is suffering from Ostegena Imperfecta. He is suffering from the worst stage. I'm sorry, but your baby won't live pass the day if his birth." The doctor told them.

April started crying and Jackson took her into his arms, trying to cover up his pain.

~present time~

Jackson opened the door to his mentor's office and sat down on a chair next to his desk.

"How do you do it?" He asked.

"Do what?" Mark Sloan responded.

"See your ex everyday and not go crazy."

"Are you talking about Lexie? What, is she giving you trouble?"

"No. No. It's not her, it's someone else."

"You have other exes?!" Mark said surprised. "Did you go out with a nurse to get over Lexie and now she's causing you problem? I thought I told you that going out with nurses wasn't a good idea."

"No. But I'm insulted you thought so low of me."

The two men looked a each other for a while, trying to figure out who would speak first and give in.

"It's the new surgeon." Jackson said.

"You had an affair with a married woman! I didn't think it would be allowed the Avery code of honour."

"I didn't have an affair with her." He said. "We were engaged a while back."

"And? You're over her anyway." Mark said as he looked at Jackson's face to see his reaction.

"Yeah, I'm over her." He lied.

Mark had worked with him too long to not know when he was lying and he could tell that he was.

"You're not over her! Come on man. Now I understand you're struggle."

Jackson looked at his mentor with desperation.

"So what happened between you two? What made her broke the engagement?"

"We lost, we lost our son." He started as the other man almost choked.

~ a few months after Samuel's death~

Jackson was sitting in the living room of his and April's tiny appartement. He had a beer in one hand and a huge cut across his other arm. He had started to dismantle his son's nursery and the crib and taking a little more time than he would've liked it to take. He got angry and broke a part of it.

April and him had started back work a few weeks ago and everything in the hospital made him remember the pain he was in when Samuel died in his arms. All he could think about during his shift was alcohol to forget. He wanted to forget that he ever had a son and he wanted the pain to go away.

He heard a key turn in the lock and the door open to let an exhausted April in. She hated those 48 hours shift but they had to go threw it to accomplish their goals. She took off her coat and put it away in the closet, doing the same with her shoes. At first, she didn't see Jackson, and she started to prep the dinner. And then she saw the blood in the sink, there was so much blood.

"Jackson?" She asked, scared. "Jackson?"

"What?" The man answered.

April finally saw him. She walked as fast as she coud to him and touched his arm. The cut was deep and too long to heal on it's own.

"You can't leave this like that, you need stitches."

"I'm fine, I'll just do it later."

"No, I'll do it. I have all i need to do it in our room." She said.

"I said that I'm fine!" He shouted as he pushed her away.

"Please dont be like that." She said almost in a whisper.

She got up and took the empty beer bottles and gathered them in the kitchen. Next she walked to their bedroom passing on her way. She looked inside and saw what her fiancé had done. The crib was destroyed beyond repair and all the bay stuff had been thrown into different corners of the room. She stared at the room for a little while before she got the courage to to her own and get the stuff she needed to stitch up Jackson's arm. She found the emergency kit in the back of her closet hiding behind her maternity clothes.

She took it out and went back to the living room, she put it at Jackson's feet and went to the sink to fill up a glass of water. She brought it to her man and took from his hand the last beer bottle and replaced it with it.

"Let me see your arm." She asked him.

"April..."

"No. I'm doing it. You're drunk and you're too out of it to do it."

She place his arm on her lap and got the rubbing alcohol and some gaze. She rubbed the gaze on his open wound to disinfect it. She took out the needle and the thread and started stitching up his wound. When she was finished, she gathered the things she had used and put some in the garbage and put the needle in a bag to sanitize it later.

From the kitchen counter she looked at Jackson. He looked so demolished. He wasn't even the shadow of the man she once knew. Since they had lost their son, he had invested all he had in his 48 hours shifts and would drink his problems away as soon as he got home. She couldn't bare to see him like that every day. She needed to fix him as much if not more as she needed to fix herself.

She walked back to him and helped him get up from the chair. She passed his arm around her shoulders and helped him walk to their bed.

"You shouldn't help me." He said. "You should let me rot."

"I won't let you rot. I love you and I won't let anything happen to you." She said as they passed the nursery.

She sat him up in their bed and took hi shoes off. She helped him take off his shirt and he lay on his side. She was about to leave when he took her hand and brought it to his cheek.

"Thank you." He said. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be drinking but I need to forget."

"I know she said."

"I love you."

"And I love you too. We will find a way to help you."

He fell asleep not long after she said those words and in his sleep he let go of her hand.

The next morning when he woke up, he heard her speaking in the phone in the kitchen.

"Yes Catherine, I'll be able to convince him. It's in his best interest anyway. Did you call the hospital? Are they okay with him taking a leave of absence?" The redhead said into the phone.

Jackson couldn't hear the response of her interlocutor but he sure knew who the person was. He passed her in the kitchen sat on one of the chairs next to the island.

"Why are you talking to my mother?" He asked.

"I'm sorry Catherine, we'll have to talk later. He just woke up." She said to the person at the other end of the line. "Okay. I'll call you back." She then closed her phone and put it on the counter. "I found a way for you to get better."

"April, I'm fine."

"No you're not. You get drunk every night if you're not burying yourself into work. You need help and you need to get time off."

"I don't." He insisted.

"Jackson, please. Just go and take time off for a couple of weeks. Go be with your mom in Boston and come back when you're better. Really better." She said as she got closer to him and took his hand. "Don't do it for you, do it for Samuel."

"Okay, I guess I could give it a try."

April came even closer and buried her face into his neck. His arms surrounding her.

"Thank you." She said.

~back to present time~

"Yeah, I still don't get how you two broke up." Mark said laying back on his chair. "What you left for Boston and got together with someone else?"

"No. It's worse."

"You got someone pregnant?!"

"No. I wasn't there when she needed me. I took too long and we drifted apart." He explained.

~ more than a year after Samuel's death~

Jackson entered his an April's appartement for the first time in a year. He hadn't been back since he had went to visit his mother. Actually, he hadn't left Boston since then. His short trip turned into a long term thing and he continued his internship there.

Everything was easier there. He didn't have to walk into all the hallways April had walked in during her pregnancy and he wasn't reminded by every person there of his loss.

But he had to come back to Seattle. He had "healed" and now he had to face the music head on.

"April?" He called out.

She didn't respond. It was 3 am but he still had hoped she would be awake knowing her schedule.

He walked to the kitchen, leaving his luggage at the door. He opened the faucet and left the cold water run while he opened one of the cabinet totale out a glass. Without looking he took a glass out and by his motion, he knocked over a box that fell in the counter.

That little white box fell familiar to him. He opened it to find the ring he had given to April almost two years ago.

The box falling onto the counter must have made more sound than he fought because he could hear footsteps coming from their bedroom.

"Jackson?!" April exclaimed, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"I came back home." He answered.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?"

"I guess I wanted to surprise you." He told his fiancée.

She walked to him and hugged him as hard as she could. She had missed him so much and she felt safer now that she was in his embrace. She opened her eyes and looked at what had fallen down onto the counter. Her ring was slightly shinning, reflecting the few light spots in the kitchen.

A few weeks later, Jackson came home to the same empty space. For the past weeks, he felt like April was trying to avoid him. He hadn't came home once with her there to welcome him.

He walked into their bedroom and felt yet again the annoyance he felt every time he saw it laying there in her nightstand.

"Seriously?" He said as he took the white box.

He opened it and found yet again her ring in its place. It annoyed him that she didn't wear it. They were engaged after all.

He walked out of their bedroom with the box and he put it on the little table next to the couch. He opened the TV and put it on a game. Next he went into the kitchen and got himself a couple of beers.

Not before long, he was drunk and not before long April arrived.

"Hey." She said as she walked in and saw him on the couch.

"Hey." He said back.

Before he could say anything, April had already spotted the beers and had came over to take them away.

"Are you kidding me?" She asked. "You're doing it again."

"I'm doing what?"

"You're drinking enough to get you drunk and you leave it all for me to pick it up. It's unfair Jackson."

She went to the sink and rinsed them all up. It had been part of his new habits to get drunk every now and then but she was tired of it. It's not like he was with his buddies or anything, he was alone and drank to pass time.

"You wanna know what unfair?" He started. "You not wearing the ring I gave you."

"It gets in the way at work." April defended.

"Who cares?! I want everyone to know you're mine. Only mine!" He yelled at her.

"Jackson please don't start."

He came over and she tried to walk away but he had her stuck in a corner.

"Don't start what? Are you cheating in me?!" He continued yelling. "Is that why you won't wear it? You're over me and our boy? You forgot about us?! It's was so easy for you." He grabbed her arm and forced her to face him.

"Jackson, you're scarring me."

He looked her in the eyes and he could see it. She really was scarred of him. He let her out of the corner and went directly to the bedroom. Leaving her, afraid and feeling unsafe in her own home.

The next morning, April woke up before him and decided she had to make a change. She was tired of him and his behaviour. She called a few people she knew before he woke up.

"I'm sorry about last night." He said as he came into the room.

"Is that all you're sorry about?" She said bitter.

"What? Are you really gonna bring this up again?"

"Yes, Jackson. I'm gonna bring this up again since you keep telling me I forgot about what I went trough."

"What we went trough." He corrected her.

"No, there was no we. I went trough it alone and on my own because you left me."

"You were already healed when I left. I didn't leave you. I was dying. I did what I had to do to survive."

"I wasn't healed. You left me broken and dying too. You just can't allow yourself to see it. You left me alone to build myself back up."

"What bugs you the most?" He asked her. "That I left it that the thing I needed wasn't you? Why are you so bitter about me finding a way to heal?"

"Because the thing I needed was you." She let out in almost a whisper. "I needed you and you left me."

"I needed to survive." He continued. "I did and now I can help you."

"You can't Jackson." She started. "I healed alone. I survived, and I will survive without you."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm done. I'm done picking up after you and I'm done being your scapegoat. We're done. That what I'm saying."

"All because of last night?!"

"No. Because you didn't care. Not once did you call the past year. You didn't even bitter calling me back." She said pointing her accusing finger at him. "You didn't even care enough to know if I was okay. I lost my son too, you know."

~present time~

"The woman gave birth to your dead son and you didn't call her, not even once, in an entire year?" Mark repeated.

"I know, I was a jerk." Jackson stated.

"Yeah, that's an understanding."

"After that I moved out here and started over."

"And it's the first time you've seen her since."

"Yeah. I never even thought I'd seen or hear from her ever again."

"And now you're stuck here with her for the next month in the hospital we're the gossip goes around as quickly ass lightning."

"Yeah." Jackson said.

"What are you going to do?" His mentor asked.

"I have no idea."

4735 words.