I AM SORRY BEYOND WORDS.

I know it's taken FOREVER for me to update!!! EXTREME writer's block!! But I'm BACK!!! Please forgive me!!! I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so s o so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so SORRY!!!!!!!!!! But here it is! And I'm gonna try to make it the least bit perverted and uncivilized as I can make it!!! Promises!!! I'll make it long too!!! Please forgive me!!!!

Max POV

Another snow day. Just freaking wonderful.

I'm sitting on the couch, yet again, but this time there's a difference. Fang went ahead and got himself sick. Yes ladies and gentlemen, the almighty Fang has a cold. He's sitting here with his head in my lap, drinking tea and coughing his guts out. Such a big baby.

But me, being all soft and cuddly and sweet and the perfect wife now, I'm running my fingers through his hair, trying to relax him. I really do wonder where the hardcore non-head-rubbing Maximum Ride went. I think she ran away when I get pregnant. Or was it before that when we moved here? I don't know. I guess everybody likes this Max better.

"I do." Fang sniffled. You know, this whole voice contraption is getting on my nerves! He can hear everything I'm thinking! First my mind is invaded by Jeb or Ari, now Fang gets to play with my head. Which way way worse.

I lightly hit Fang in the head. Emphasis on lightly. I would never beat him up while he's sick! Are you kidding???? .

"Daddy we made you a card!" Jamie said running in with her twin sister on her tail.

"Yeah, because we love you and stuff!" Charlotte added.

They took this card out from behind their back that was doused in glitter and sparkles and glue. It was messiest yet cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.

"Thanks girls." He said, forcing a smile.

"You welcome! Read it read it!"

He opened it and as soon as he did......

He sneezed, causing all the glitter to fall right off, into Jamie and Char's faces. It was too funny! I started laughing, almost in tears. Fang looked up and glared at me. I just handed him a tissue, smiling.

He wiped his nose and read the card, then said thank you to the girls again and went to hug them, but stopped.

"I would hug you, but I don't want to get you sick."

"It's okay! We'll see you later!" Then they went bouncing off as quick as they came. I honestly wonder where they came from. I have never bounced anywhere in my life. Angel, Nudge and Ella rubbed off on them WAY too much.

Fang groaned and I looked down. He was pouting. (Gasp!) I LIGHTLY hit him on the head again.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I don't wanna watch My Super Sweet Sixteen, Max."

"Aw, come on! It's almost over!" He groaned again. I sighed, in defeat. Fang being sick must give me a soft spot.

"Here," I said, handing him the remote. He grinned and lifted up to kiss me, but I pulled away.

"No way, Rudolph, you're not getting me sick." I said to him, referring to his bright red nose.

"Fine." He grumbled. And settled back down, turning to something sports related, I'm sure. I didn't mind. I mean, he was sick, right? You're supposed to treat sick people nice. I think I'm doing a fabulous job.

She wanna touch me woo ooo!

She wanna love me woo ooo!

She'll never leave me woo ooo, ooo ooo, ooo ooo...

Don't trust a hoe--

"Hello?" I said answering my phone.

"Hey Maxie," Missy said.

"Oh hey, what's up?"

"We need to go Christmas shopping, dear." Crap! I forgot all about Christmas.

"Um, okay, when?"

"Today?"

"Can't. Taking care of the baby."

"Who, Charlotte or Jamie?"

"Neither. Fang." She let out a small laugh.

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's got the bird flu."

"WHAT?!"

"Not the real bird flu, you idiot! We're part bird, he has the flu, get it?"

"Oh. Phew, you had me worried for a second."

"Yeah, he's just sick."

"Well let the kids take care of him! Ella and Iggy are there aren't they?"

"Well, yeah but--"

"NO buts! I'll be over in an hour." And she hung up. Great, now I have to leave Fang to go shopping. A shiver ran down my spine just thinking about it.

"Have fun." Fang said sadly, after I sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"Have fun shopping while I stay here, coughing up my insides."

"You can't go with me. You're sick!"

"So? If I don't go the kids are gonna bug me all day about if I need anything."

"So let them take care of you! You'll be fine. I'll be back soon."

He groaned and turned his head back to the TV. I rolled my eyes and walk up the stairs to our room to change clothes. I put on a sweater, jeans, and my favorite Ugg boots. I grabbed my bag and ran the stairs. My coat was on the tree by the front door, so I threw that on, and kissed Fang on the cheek before heading out into the freezing cold.

(Awesome Invisible Line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

"Where to, Captain?" I said as Missy climbed into my truck.

"It's your car. But we do need to head to Target. I hear they're having a sale. And then we can hit the mall, grab a bite to eat, then hit the other mall, and--"

"Wait, we're going to two malls?"

"Why not?"

"You know I hate shopping!"

"Well this isn't about you! This about finding gifts for our family." I sighed deeply, hating her logic. Then I slowly pulled out of her driveway, on the road to Target.

"What are you gonna get Fang?" she asked me.

"Um...I don't really know. There's not that many things that he loves besides me."

"Ha ha ha! That's true. You should get him something for his laptop. Like....wireless Internet or something."

"He already has that."

"A case?"

"Has it."

"The Sims 3? I don't know but you need to think of something."

"I think....I think I'm gonna get him a motorcycle."

"A motorcycle??? What the hell does he need that for? Your whole family has like, sixteen cars anyway."

"Yeah, but I want to get him something for himself. Like, a Ninja or something. Fast, hardcore looking, quiet....Just like him."

"He's fast?"

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, but if he IS fast, your bedroom action might be a little less satisfying as you lead me to believe."

Okay, super awkward. Maybe I let me and Fang's personal life slip out every now and then, but I don't go bragging to people! I mean, it's something I'd rather keep quiet and Fang would kill me if he found out that I do tell people. But sometimes I mess up about the whole confidentiality thing...

I didn't reply to Missy's answer, just turned up the radio (and the heat) and cruised along until we reached Target. I found a semi-close parking spot and we hopped out of my gigantic truck. The first thing Missy did was get a cart, then head over to the dollar section. Me? I grabbed a cart and went to the clothing section, where Nudge, Angel and Ella's presents would be found. For Nudge, I got a pair of destroyed jeans with unknown wording going down the pants leg. A pink and brown sweater that had a loose neckline, and a scarf to match. For Angel I went in the juniors section and got her a pair of Cargo pants and a shirt that said "Cute University Since—I Was Born" on it. She'd love it. Ella's gift was a pair of high heeled boots that had leg warmers around them to match the perfect purple and black sweater.

I went to the toy section for the Twins, Evan and Shiloh. I got the Twins about 20 Hot Wheels cars (ten each), a race track to put em on, a box of Legos, and one of those huge cars that run on batteries. It was a bright yellow Hummer and had two seats, but a little extra one on the back so Shy or Evan could ride in it too. How do I expect to hide a giant toy truck for three weeks from two five year old mutant girls? I have no clue. As for the Hot Wheels and Legos and stuff, those will be easy to hide. Even though the girls are really preppy (thanks to my wonderful sisters) they only like playing with cars and Legos. They're always stealing Evan's old toys. They don't like playing with dolls and stuffed animals like regular girls. They must get that from me. I got Shiloh one of those Leapsters and some games to go with it, along with a few interactive stuffed animals. Ella says that even though he's a kid, he's still needs to learn. I almost laughed in her face when she said that, but it's true.

Next, I moved on to the electronics section for Iggy and Gazzy and Ryan and Aiden's gifts. A Disturbed album here, a Mettalica album there, an iPod along with a 25$ gift certificate for iTunes here, and a Grand Theft Auto video game and their gifts were set. Now... what to get Mom?

"Hey Max," Missy said, coming up behind me with her cart filled to the brim.

"Ready to check out?" I nodded and told her to let me go first because she so much stuff. She laughed and said whatever, then we were in line.

I know, random and unnecessary, but I didn't want to leave you hanging for too long!!! I'm sorry!!!! please forgive me!!!! :D :D :D YOU ALL GET VIRTUAL RASPBERRY LEMONADE AND COOKIES!!!! YAYZ!!!!!!!