Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, I simply use Viz's characters for entertainment purposes. In no way, shape, or form do I profit from this story.

Author'sRecognition: ILoveInuyasha4Eva you rock! I mean a review, Story Alert, Favorite Author, AND Favorite Story, it's just too much to take in all at once...

I'm glad that you find this quick idea story humorous, since I was struggling to make this a funny story. I'm guessing my short circuit writer's block wasn't helping? I wasn't sure if I was putting a little too much crude humor in the T-rated story. Hopefully, I won't be switched to M-rated, but I don't think I went over the line.

Any who, Miroku and Shanise you guys are still the best. You posted a review for my second chapter and first chapter. If you ever decide to get a fan fiction account message me and I'll check out your Inuyasha stories.ILoveInuyasha4Eva, I'm definitely checking out your stories, especially the M-rated one, it sounds good.

DaniPilotDarkko welcome to the story and thank you for the Favorite Story, it's very appreciated as well. By the way I love your profile picture, it's simply adorable. One quick question...are you going to right ALL of those stories? I mean wow! Good luck to you. I'm going to check out your Inuyasha and Vampire Kisses stories.

ookamikage thank you for the review and welcome to my story. That's great that you love my "rabbit trails." You know I've never heard someone refer a cliff hanger as a "rabbit trail."

Nukawin thanks again for the Favorite Story!

Edited: 11-23-11

Chapter 4: In the Meantime...

Do you remember when I said the Feudal Era has its faults because it didn't have tampons? You know the basis of this whole story? Well, here's a two for all: the Modern Era is too damn conniving to complete the simplest tasks. For example a cliche High School class, and I, mesmerizing is substituting the class. It just so happens our off topic topic is this chapter.

*M*

The random jock, (who is infatuated with the bimbo with double D's) raises his hand to utter, "Is one of those tasks, like, umm, like..buying those string things for ya know...like a period...umm...tampons?"

How suave...

But, I'm not complaining at least somebody answered the "statement,"-the most common speech a human being uses on a day to day basis. Obviously after years of repetition you should be a master with grammar. You would, no, should even be up on the pedestal with Shakespeare when it comes to good old English.

"Yes, ladies, gentlemen, and beings of the supernatural [this also qualifies the Muppets]. The task so wondrously noted by "the jock" is buying tampons."

Let's begin shall we? I don't know about you, but I think this chapter is WAY over due. Thanks a lot Modern Era, I'll send you a thank you card!

*M*

Once upon a time in a far away land-

HOLD IT! I would like to announce that while introducing the bimbo with DD's I did not say,"blonde bimbo." I have gone seven weeks and twelve hours without demonstrating the offensive stereotype of the dumb blond.

My random SA Group (Stereotypical Anonymous Group) gives me a round of applause!

Now to the story...

*M*

If Kagome had not seen Sango's infatuation with the 21st century feminine technology, she would have gladly watched Inuyasha sneak off to Kikyou. Anything would have been more enjoyable than running into these various distractions.

When Kagome wiggled her way out of the well, she was expecting to find her mom making lunch for Sota and his friends. However last time she visited her mother, she mentioned a soccer tournament and if they won the game, Sota could have friends over. The only piece missing out of that week old puzzle was her mom finishing the sentence.

"And, this time we're having the sleep over at Jilo's house, so you're going to have to use the spare key buried in the coy fish pond."

That's a little extreme to put the spare key inside of a pond. Sure no one is going to look there, but you live in a Shrine. I thought Japanese people were supposed to be extremely superstitious when it came to Holy Ground? I mean if you really wanted to ward off evil spirits or Jack the Ripper why not disguise some piraƱas as coy fish? Now that would be bloody hell, governor!

Anyway, the reason Kagome's mother told her that little tidbit was because Grandpa was having a "friend" over; an experienced friend. She was a double major in fuzzy-cuffology and frisky-optometry. The instant Kagome went through the front doors she heard, something like animal sounds. A second hand smoking cat and a constipated boar of some sort, but to her dismay their were no animals...

Her grandfather and his lady friend may not have been animals, but they were nipping at each other like a litter of new born lions. Only it wasn't the nipping that really got the juices flowing. Their position was something you couldn't find flipping through the Kama Sutra. It was all pure pretzel twisting lust and some butter for pliability. Too bad for them they used Margarine which made things a little too slippery. Their legs were intertwined by hot sticky...butter.

Sadly for Kagome she was the only one capable of calling 9-1-1 with her "clean fingers"-butter free and whatever else lurks in the contents of Ancient Whoopy. Denture Gel? Rice Pudding? A printed out waiting-list for a Kidney Transplant?

*M*

If you think that wasn't bad, after Kagome escaped the aged hormones of St. Yugi's Hospital a whole new age group wagged it's tail like the loyal pup he is: Hojo. Not too long after she stepped her foot through the threshold of K-Mart the young whipper snapper was about to howl.

"Kagome! Kagome, is that really you? Oh, Kagome!", Hojo trilled, with his average brown hair, freckled cheeks, slightly crooked nose, and off angled ears. And you know every XX chromosome was alert and attended for when he serenaded. It was every girl's dream to be whisked away with words from the heart, like Juliet by her Romeo...

"Oh Romeo, Oh Romeo...Where for art' though Romeo's common sense to check my damn breathing before he drinkth thou poison?"

Somehow women always forget the, happy dagger part, but all is fair in love in war...Allegedly.

As much as Kagome would have liked to pretend she didn't see Hojo, he was only 2 feet away from her with daggers for eyes. No seriously his eyes were like daggers. If you looked at them from a 90 degree angle you could see pointed tips aimed straight for Kagome's breas-I mean face. You know what, I don't mean face at all. That's right people Hojo, the innocent one wearing a little sailor's suit on his soul was drooling all over Kagome's tatas, oranges, large for normal sized apples, boobies, or the President of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee.

Only Kagome was aware of his true desires underneath that dough boy charm-to become a man with all the fixings: chest hair, a Tarzan cry, the natural scent of Old Spice, and the body of Hugh Jackman.

So instead of brushing him off she played along with his game, besides it's not like his methods were getting him anywhere.

Kagome attempted to keep eye contact and gave him her congenial smile, "Oh, it's me in the flesh!".

*M*

Quickly she tried to speed walk her way past the love struck man-child, but he was persistent. Hojo was right on her heels as they went through the labyrinth of aisles. Row after row everything seemed to blur into one with the store's checkerboard tiling and blue shelves, stocked with a variety of products for the elderly, promiscuous, puberty filled, and first breaths.

Now where was the puberty filled aisle again? Oh well she could always follow the swarm of teenage girls dragging their weeping mothers to the newly colorful world of tampons and pads. Or their's always Plan B-to ask Hojo only a breath away. If he were any closer he'd suffocate himself from lack of oxygen and overdose on carbon dioxide.

She stopped in her tracks only for Hojo to be breathing down her neck whispering, "Flesh..."

The only thoughts she could muster were, 'Why kami...why me? Why couldn't he fall for the girl next door, Betsy Lou with a small acne problem who would really look cute if she would replace the 90's glasses with contacts? I mean come on now jump start that match maker of yours!'

"Umm...yes I have flesh (and none which you can touch)," she mumbled to herself, "Hojo, I'm looking for Tampax Pearl Tampons Variety Pack, which aisle would I find those in?"

Surprisingly enough, hell I know I'm shocked, Hojo was looking right into her eyes, but his hands were doing a Miroku. Slowly as if someone pressed the forward button on the remote only once instead of three times to increase the speed, his hand came up to point her into the right direction. How convenient for him the aisle was right behind them, so his arm was able to extend past Kagome's face and with a new born gentleness his hand stroked her cheek:

Up and down.

Side to Side.

In a circle.

In a square.

In an equilateral triangle, with an area of approximately 4.5 units. Kagome would know since Hojo counted the small spacings for each side, and colored in the center.

Careful not to completely insult his, treatments, the Miko moved her cheek to the opposite direction. I'm not sure if this is a surprise to you readers out there, but Hojo is a very sensitive character. He cried while watching the movie theatre's spoof on "The Notebook.", when they warn you about texting or speaking during the film.

*M*

'Their passion is so universal!', he would blubber over the extra small box of Junior Mints.

What a man!-cough-with the lights on-cough-

*M*

"Well, I'm gonna go get those Tampons now. I'll see you whenever possible, Hojo," Kagome ended turning her back to the love struck puppy. It seemed like the longer she stayed in the Feudal Era, the more he showed his true colors. But somewhere during a lapse in time, Hojo grew a pair. Gravity's force was great enough to cause them to hang by a centimeter. Such progress!

He grabbed Kagome's forearm and begged, "Wait! Do you need some help?"

Not quite sure of what he was asking the Miko just tilted her head to say,"No silly, I don't need help you just told me where they were."

Then to add onto her confusion Hojo shook his head, "No not with finding the feminine products. I wanted to know if you needed help for them to fit properly! I've read the back of the box and watched a few videos on youtube. I know that some girls are scared their first time because of the pain, or not knowing where there entrance is, but I think I can ease your anxiety, Kagome. Blood doesn't bother me and, I'll be extremely gentle. You won't even feel it inside..."

Now in this case, Kagome has 3 options:

Run for the High Hills featured in the film, 'Sound of Music'

Slap the freckles off of Hojo

Report him to the Store Manager

Decisions, Decisions...How about choice B?

Before, Hojo could utter another word, not only were his freckles slapped off, but his lips as well. They were flapping on the floor like a fish out of water yelling, "Kagome, Kagome, Kagome!"

The flustered Miko kicked the chapped lips with vigor straight into the refrigerated vegetable section. With a quick glance they favored a ripe red pepper, ripe enough to catch the cataract eye of a Spanish traveler.

"Oh..dis will go great with the paella I'm going to make for, Yang! Ay! Que suerte!".

Her little tan hand grabbed the pair of lips and strolled off for the counter. Too bad for Hojo her hearing aid was on low so she couldn't make out the boy's cries.

Yup, that's too bad...

*M*

After that fiasco, Kagome wasted no time grabbing the tampons, cutting the people in line, and buying her items. If anyone got in her way their organs would have a foot imprint-Size 6.5. She even dived into the well. Now if you can't dive in the shallow end of the pool it's definitely not a good idea to dive into an empty well. Then on top of that she ran in the Shrine. Tsk tsk tsk.

*M*

Even though Kagome went through the well, there's still a small story still to be told...

It was late at night when Sakura and Sota came home. The woman was so proud of her son, he made the winning goal and won a large trophy for his team. If only his father were here to see his achievement.

Suddenly she felt a tug on her shirt, it was Sota.

"Mom, can I run inside really quick to put my trophy in my room? I don't want to get ice cream all over it, when we go to Cold Stones," he asked politely. He was giving her such a toothy grin who could resist it?

"All right, but make it snappy,"she obliged. She watched her son dash for the stairs and enter the shrine. His hair was flying in the wind, he'd need a haircut soon. The weather was changing, so a short cut would help relieve the heat.

A loud thud interrupted her train of thought. Sakura got out of the car and asked, "Sota, are you okay, honey?" She just hoped he didn't land on his head, a concussion would ruin his season.

Her son yelled from inside, "Yeah I'm okay, there's just some butter on the floor, and the house smells odd that's all. Grandpa must have been trying to make pancakes, again. I'll be down in a minute!"

Again?

Author's Note: I decided to save the conclusion for the next chapter. You can't have all the fun in just the Feudal Era! I'm really sorry about the update. I didn't realize it was over a year when I posted this story. :/ I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and don't worry, the final chapter will be here this week the latest.