Chapter 4
When Janeway came in to the Mess Hall the next morning for the first of her day's two meals, she was surprised to find everyone was there already. Harry, B'Elanna, the Doctor, Seven, Neelix, and Tuvok were all seated around several tables pushed together, but when they saw her come in they all stood up to face her.
"What's this?" she asked, surprised.
"Um, Captain?" Harry said. "We've just been talking, and... well, we think maybe you're taking this worse than we are."
Janeway gazed levelly at him for a moment. "It's in my job description, Mr. Kim."
"We're going to be fine. Really," B'Elanna said. "We can handle this. We're strong enough."
"We believe all your decisions have been sound," Tuvok said. "You could not have foreseen or prevented our current difficulties."
"Perhaps if all of us had worked a little more quickly-" the Doctor began, but Janeway cut him off.
"No, no. I know you all did your best," she said. "No one is to blame."
"We've come up with an idea, Captain," Neelix began hesitantly. "We wanted to see what you thought of it."
"All right. Let's hear it."
"What if... what if we all met at the end of the day, every day, to eat dinner together?" Neelix said.
"It's so depressing to eat alone, and we've all been doing it," Torres said. "Since we have to stop working to eat anyway, we think it would be better if we were together."
"If I may add my advice," the Doctor said. "No rushing to get back to work. Eat slowly. It will help you feel more full, and have psychological benefits as well."
"And no talking about work, either," Kim added. "Make it a real break."
"It's a good idea," Janeway said, deeply touched. "In fact, I wish I'd thought of it."
"In a way, you did, Captain!" Neelix exclaimed, a flash of his old exuberance lighting up his yellow eyes. "Why, we can do at these dinners what you've been doing for us these past few weeks. We can take turns talking about, ah, happy things, you know, or finding some other way to contribute to a pleasant dinner atmosphere. Music, perhaps."
"I am still able to play my lute," Tuvok offered.
"Music does have intriguing mathematical properties; the Doctor has offered to teach me to sing," Seven said.
"Her voice would be a lovely accompaniment to mine in my favorite duet from 'La Boheme,'" The Doctor put in, a smug smile spreading across his face.
"Opera music is technically difficult, Doctor," Seven said. "Perhaps it would be wise to choose something simpler."
The Doctor looked a trifle disappointed, but he tried to retain his good humor. "Very well. We could start with some simple folk songs, instead."
Chakotay began to spend every waking hour in the command center working on his calculations. Annorax may not feel any sense of urgency, but Chakotay did: He knew the crew was running out of food.
Still no breakthrough was forthcoming. Chakotay began to grow desperate. Sometimes he stayed up half the night working doggedly at it. Obrist, overseeing the night shift, began looking at him with concern in his eyes. Chakotay didn't understand it, because Obrist was nothing to him and he was nothing to Obrist, although the man had become friendly with Paris. Finally, one night Obrist left the command center and when he came back, he had Paris with him.
"We need to talk," Paris told Chakotay.
"Not now. I'm in the middle of something."
"If you haven't finished it in the last six weeks, you're not likely to finish it in the next six minutes," Paris said. "Come on. Let's talk."
Rubbing his dry eyes, Chakotay realized a break wasn't a bad idea. Paris led the way back to his quarters, and to Chakotay's surprise Obrist came along. The three of them sat down at the round table, and Paris folded up the game board there and put it aside.
"Does the name Captain Bligh mean anything to you?" Paris asked in a low voice.
As the implication set in, Chakotay looked at Obrist with considerable surprise.
"This is not a happy crew," Paris continued. "Obrist and I have been talking, and he wants to help us. Tell him, Obrist."
Obrist folded his hands on the table in front of him. "I know you want to help your captain and save your ship," he said. "Your goal is laudable, but the reality is that no matter how carefully you calculate, you can never predict exactly what's going to happen when you initiate a temporal incursion."
"I understand that. It's a gamble. But so is everything in life," Chakotay said. "Annorax says he can help us increase the odds in our favor. I think we can get Voyager back to fighting condition, maybe even get her closer to the Alpha Quadrant. We just need a little more time to fine-tune the calculations."
"No!" Obrist said. "Do you not understand? We have been taking the time to fine-tune our calculations for two hundred years. Every time we think we are close to a full restoration, it slips through our fingers. Do not allow Annorax's arrogance to infect you. We are not the masters of Time. Always, it masters us. Did he tell you about Kyana Prime?"
Chakotay shook his head.
"It was one of our colonies, destroyed in the very first temporal incursion Annorax initiated. He erased our enemies, the Zahl, from history, thinking it would bring greatness to our Imperium, and it did... until a plague wiped out Kyana and hundreds of our other colonies. We found out the Zahl had introduced an antibody in our genome that would have protected us. When we destroyed them, we destroyed ourselves." His face was bleak. "Annorax's wife was at Kyana. He started on new calculations. He wanted to bring her back. He wanted to bring all of them back. But after hundreds of incursions, he has never succeeded."
"That doesn't mean he won't succeed this time," Chakotay said.
Obrist shook his head. "You haven't seen, so you don't know. The more he tries to save the woman he loves, the more damage he does. Entire civilizations wiped out, brought back, and wiped out again. We have been at this for nearly three lifetimes. Everyone we knew and loved back home is dead... or never existed." He squeezed his eyes shut. "We are tired. We have more blood on our hands than we ever thought possible. We just want it to stop."
"Obrist, I'm sorry," Paris said. He glanced at Chakotay. "I think we should listen to him, sir. It's a mistake to tinker with Voyager's timeline. For all we know, we might end up making things worse."
"How could things be worse for her?" Chakotay asked fiercely. "The ship was already half-wrecked when we left. Then they went to warp with their structural integrity compromised. She must be nearly in pieces now. I don't know if you've been paying attention to the passage of time out there, but the crew is about to run out of food. Just about any change we initiate is bound to be for the better."
"That's a dangerous assumption to make," Obrist said.
"What do you mean?" Paris asked.
"Because what Annorax isn't telling you," Obrist said, "is that with the pummeling Voyager's taken from so many chronoton torpedoes, parts of your ship are now infused with chronoton radiation. If we subject your ship to a temporal incursion, there is a very real chance that parts of your ship will revert to the condition and position it was in at the last incursion... and parts of it won't."
Chakotay fell into a stunned silence.
"Either way, Annorax gets what he wants," Obrist said. "A restoration of the Imperium to a space-faring civilization. The fate of one small ship is of no consequence to him."
"Then, no matter what incursion he attempts, no matter what he promises us..." Chakotay said.
Obrist nodded soberly. "...Voyager must keep her temporal shields up at all costs."
A long silence descended on the room. Finally, Chakotay spoke up. "You said you wanted this to end, Obrist. I assume you have a plan."
"Yes," Obrist said. "There are others on board who feel as I do. They can help. But I'll need your cooperation, and Voyager's help."
"That's going to be a problem," Chakotay said. "Because we really don't know where she is."
"Then we must wait," Obrist said. "It is a skill for which we have had a great deal of practice."
Day 240
Panting for breath, Janeway stopped and leaned against a bulkhead to rest for a moment. Her heart pounded as though she had run a marathon, yet she had only traversed half the fore sections of Deck 8, and that at a walk. She shut her eyes and used the back of her hand to wipe the sweat from her forehead, and then took a long drink from her canteen.
When she felt strong enough, she pushed off the bulkhead and resumed her journey. Soon she made it to her destination, a section of the corridor with control panels removed and blinking machinery exposed. Harry Kim wasn't working on it, though, but sitting with his back against the bulkhead and his knees drawn up. His complexion was unusually pale, and his hair fell carelessly down over his forehead.
"You all right?" she asked, crouching down next to him.
He nodded slowly. "Just resting a bit. I started seeing stars."
"Seeing stars? In the middle of a nebula? Very impressive, Harry."
He smiled weakly, and when she offered the canteen he took it gratefully. Janeway sat down next to him with her back against the bulkhead as well, trying to ignore the pain throbbing in her temples with every beat of her heart. "The Doctor's coming with more relays in a bit. Let's just wait until he gets here."
They sat in silence for a while. Janeway watched surreptitiously, and was relieved when she saw Harry was starting to get a bit more color in his cheeks.
"Want to know a secret, Harry?" she asked him.
"Mmmm."
"We captains aren't supposed to reveal which of our crew we chose, and which got foisted on us by Starfleet Command. But you know what? You were one of my hand-picked."
"No kidding." She'd succeeded in making him smile again. "I thought it was a mistake... when I saw my posting. I thought for sure... I'd start out on the lower decks... and have to claw my way up to a Bridge assignment. I couldn't believe... someone thought to put me up there right away."
"Oh, I knew you'd be great. Your academic record alone... but you had some pretty glowing recommendations as well. I was worried Starfleet wouldn't give you to me." She smiled ruefully. "But maybe you'd have been better off working on, say, Deck 24 of the Odyssey after all."
"No way," Harry said. "I mean, if I had, probably I would have been happy... would have advanced and thought... I was doing well and having a good career. But nothing could have ever compared to this. The things that we've seen... things no human has ever seen before... and so much of the Alpha Quadrant has already been explored. We're on a real frontier. It's why we joined Starfleet, isn't it? And the things that I've done... things I never dreamed I was capable of... but when you're thrown out into the water you have to sink or swim, I guess. I found out I could swim. If I had been posted somewhere else... I never would have known what I could become. Sometimes it's been really hard, like now... but a lot of times it's been incredible. I'm not sorry I came."
Janeway patted his hand just as the Doctor came up with his arms full of relays.
"Here we are," the Doctor said briskly. He glanced at the two of them sitting on the deck, set the relays down and pulled out his medical tricorder, kneeling down to scan each of them in turn.
"Do you feel well enough to get up, Mr. Kim?" he asked.
"Umm... What time is it?"
"05:00. One hour to dinner."
Kim nodded. "Yeah. I can make it."
"Captain?" the Doctor asked.
"I'm fine. Let's see if we can get this section done by then."
An hour later, the three of them went to the Mess Hall for dinner. Neelix, Tuvok and Seven were already waiting there.
What a picture they must make, Janeway thought, everyone sitting at the dinner table all dirty and worn down, with dull eyes and hollow cheeks. Harry almost fell into his chair after the long walk. Only the Doctor looked clean and well, although even he had a permanent frown etched between his eyes as he silently scrutinized each of his patients in turn. Probably wondering which of them would be the first to collapse.
With the six of them there, Neelix roused himself with an effort.
"Where's B'Elanna?" he asked. "It's her turn to go first. I guess she's late. Well, I'll go get my contribution then." He walked into the kitchen, and came back out carrying a little pot of dirt with green tendrils cascading down the sides. "Look at this! I thought I'd see if I could find something in Airponics to brighten our table, but unfortunately everything in there, uh, died. But I happened upon this in Ensign Henley's quarters. It must be a particularly hardy variety. It's a bit limp but I think it's already perked up since I watered it this morning." He set the plant down in the middle of the table.
Just then the door swished open and B'Elanna came in. Everyone looked at her in surprise. She was wearing a patterned blue knee-length dress and her hair was clean and brushed smooth.
"Well?" she asked, spreading open her arms. "Here's my contribution."
"Very nice, lieutenant," the Doctor said, and everyone voiced their agreement.
"I thought everyone might appreciate this more than my usual dirty, sweaty self," B'Elanna said, sitting down.
It was hard not to focus on how sharp her collarbones were above the neckline of the dress, but B'Elanna did look lovely. Neelix brought out a stack of rations and set a tray down in front of each of them with a flourish.
"Dinner is served!" he said.
Each of them removed the film cover from their meal and began to eat. Seven helped Tuvok open his and explained to him where on the tray each item was located. Breakfast seemed like it had been a very long time ago and it was hard to eat slowly, but they made themselves do it.
"Let's see. Whose turn is it next?" Neelix asked. "I think it's yours, Captain. What will it be tonight? A song perhaps?"
Janeway shook her head ruefully. "I'll leave the music to the experts," she said, nodding toward Tuvok, the Doctor and Seven. "No, I have something better than singing tonight. A story to tell. You would not believe what happened this morning."
"What?" Everyone leaned closer and looked interested.
Janeway had spent the whole day fine-tuning this in her head as she worked. She just hoped it entertained them as much as it had her.
She leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table. "I summoned Q."
"You did what?" B'Elanna nearly choked on her glass of water.
"I summoned Q."
"Uh-huh. And just exactly how do you summon a Q?" Harry asked, a knowing smile beginning to spread across his tired face.
"I do not know this individual," Seven said.
Tuvok began, "He is an omnipotent, immortal-"
"Puckish..." Janeway interjected.
"Pompous..." Neelix added.
"...jerk," B'Elanna finished.
"As for how you summon him, it was simple," Janeway said. "Draw some arcane symbols, chant some ancient words, and presto. There was Q."
"Like a genie," Harry said. "Makes sense."
"Sorry, a... genie?" Neelix repeated.
"From an ancient Earth superstition," Janeway explained. "A powerful spirit people would summon to grant their wishes, but they couldn't be controlled and it usually ended badly for the poor hapless mortals."
"So you summoned this Q to grant you a wish," Seven said.
"He did bring the Captain a lot of presents the last time he was here," Harry said. "Filling the Bridge with roses, leaving a puppy in the Ready Room..."
"As I recall, he expected to be given something in return," Tuvok said. "Are you certain it was wise to summon him, Captain?"
"Oh, I knew it was a risk," Janeway said. "But I was in a bad way. I really needed a cup of coffee and I knew he could help out."
That got several laughs. So far, so good.
"So did it work?" the Doctor asked.
Janeway nodded. "He popped right up in a flash of bright light, wearing a captain's uniform, as usual, and said, 'Oh, it's you again. What do you want? Don't tell me you changed your mind, because it's too late.'"
"How presumptuous!" the Doctor exclaimed indignantly.
"I told him, 'No, of course not, but I helped you and the Q Continuum a lot the last time you were here, and I think I deserve a favor in return.' He rolled his eyes and told me he had better things to do, and he started to snap his fingers.
"'Wait!' I said. 'You said you wanted me to babysit little Q from time to time. Well, I'm not going to do it unless you help me now.'
"'As godmother, it's your duty to help,' Q said scathingly, 'and I know your vaunted Federation ideals will ensure you do your duty, no matter what. What is it that you want? No, wait, let me guess. You want me to snap you back to the Alpha Quadrant. Well, forget it! I'm a Q, not a bus terminal.'
"'I'll get this ship back to the Alpha Quadrant without your help,' I told him. 'Right now, all I want is a cup of coffee... and a pair of new warp nacelles.'"
"Perfectly reasonable," Harry said.
"Did you think to ask for new torpedo launchers as well?" Tuvok asked.
"I didn't want to push my luck."
"And did he comply?" Seven asked.
"He got indignant and said such things were beneath a Q. So I started to sweet-talk him, flatter him, tell him what an amazing Q he was, so unique and powerful even compared to the other Q, so smart to think of taking a mate and having a baby when no one else did, and after a while his chest started to puff out and he got this smug little grin on his face. It was all I could do not to punch him in the nose."
"I would have," B'Elanna muttered.
"He told me to go on, and I told him that if he helped us I would gather everyone on the ship to throw him a party in gratitude, and that we would even pretend to be glad to see him if he brought along some hors d'oeuvres."
"Captain, did all this really happen?" Neelix asked, incredulous. Everyone shushed him.
"He said that wasn't much incentive because he was sure we didn't know how to throw a party like the Enterprise crew does. I have to admit, that stung a little."
"I have toured the Enterprise," Tuvok said thoughtfully. "Their lounge on Deck 10 is six times the size of our Mess Hall, and they have a bartender on staff. However, I believe their dislike of Q exceeds even ours. I do not believe they would throw him a party."
"You're probably right. Anyway," Janeway said, "I worked on him for a while longer, and finally he told me the warp nacelles were out of the question because the Continuum was still angry about the last time he'd interfered in human development, but he didn't see what harm a cup of coffee could do. He was just about to snap his fingers when suddenly I heard a voice above us. It was his wife."
"Oh, brother," Harry muttered.
"'Q! I told you to stay away from that little bipedal mortal,' she snapped. 'Now get home this instant. Little Q needs a lullaby and you know what a hard time I have putting him to sleep.'
"Long story short," Janeway sighed, "I got nothing. Q scooted double-quick and I doubt he's coming back."
"Good riddance," B'Elanna said. "There isn't room on this ship for an ego that large."
Janeway smiled a little to herself. Q certainly did talk a big talk, but she sometimes suspected his ego wasn't nearly as large as he pretended it was. She would never forget the look on Q's face when he had asked her if there was another man, followed by his pathetic attempt to display a bigger and better tattoo than Chakotay's. After Q left the ship for good, the two of them had laughed themselves sick about it. Oddly enough, the tattoo incident never made it into the First Officer's log, nor into the Captain's. Some things were just too good to share.
"Well done, Captain," the Doctor said. "How about some music now? Tuvok, Seven?"
Seven put down her fork, got up and carefully lifted Tuvok's lute from its case. Tuvok pushed his chair back from the table and Seven placed the instrument on his knee. He plucked its strings experimentally and then made a few adjustments to the tension. When he was ready, he nodded his head, and the Doctor and Seven stood next to him and cleared their throats.
Tuvok struck several chords in introduction, and then the Doctor and Seven began to sing in harmony:
"My Bonnie lies over the ocean,
My Bonnie lies over the sea,
My Bonnie lies over the ocean,
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me!"
Once again, Janeway marvelled at Seven's clear voice and bright tone. She never would have guessed that a former Borg drone, of all people, would have a lovely singing voice, but the Doctor was a good teacher and Seven had made noticable progress in the last three weeks. She sometimes sounded out of breath - probably a result of the short rations - and often she failed to put as much emotion into the music as she could have. But her voice was flawless, and the Doctor could put enough feeling into the lyrics for both of them. To hear him sing, you would think he really was longing for a loved one far across the sea.
The singers moved on to the next verse. Janeway had only ever heard the first verse when she learned this song and, interested, she listened closely to the words. Something about laying on a pillow and dreaming that my Bonnie was dead. They began on the next verse, pleading to the winds to blow my Bonnie back to me. To her horror, Janeway suddenly felt tears pricking at her eyes, and she wished that the Doctor had chosen another song, any other song, to sing. This one was hitting a little too close to home. She kept her eyes fixed on the singers and tried desperately to hold it in so that no one would notice.
It didn't work. Either that, or B'Elanna was good enough to guess what was going through her mind, because just then she leaned over and put her arms around Janeway.
"We will," she whispered, soft enough to be for Janeway's ears only. "We will bring them back to us." She sounded tearful too. Janeway could only put her hand up on B'Elanna's arm and give her a grateful squeeze in return.
Later that night, when she had undressed and climbed into bed, she thought about B'Elanna's words, and wondered. Had she been speaking as an officer to her captain, thinking that Janeway was worried about doing her job and getting her crewmembers back? Or had she been speaking woman to woman, guessing what lay between her and Chakotay?
Four years ago she would have been humiliated at the thought of a subordinate knowing something so personal about her. Tonight, some part of her hoped for it. For a moment she had felt as if she was not above the others but with them. She hadn't realized how much she missed that, the feeling of being among equals.
As she drifted off to sleep, memories of her last conversation with Chakotay floated through her mind.
"What happens to the crew if I'm not strong enough to carry them anymore?"
"I don't know, Kathryn. Maybe then they'll be strong enough to carry you."
Day 250
Captain's log, stardate 54728.6
We've finally completed repairs of essential systems. One nacelle is repaired and we will be able to achieve warp 6. Impulse engines are online, the temporal shielding is holding and the power grid is up to 53 percent efficiency. Tuvok and Seven have constructed four torpedoes. We've even restored life support to portions of seven decks now.
I've decided to leave the nebula and begin our search for the Krenim timeship. We're still getting inconsistent results in our tests of the torpedo launchers, but we have only three days of food left, and there's no telling how long it will take us to locate the ship. We'll keep working on it as we go.
I would like it noted for the record that all those remaining on this ship have served with great distinction and courage in the face of unusual adversity. They've gone above and beyond the call of duty and I couldn't be prouder of them. They are a fine crew and, what's more... they are my friends.
TO BE CONTINUED
Author's note: Thanks to everyone who was kind enough to leave a review! They really help me see whether or not I'm accomplishing what I set out to accomplish.
