A/N 1: I originally started this fanfic right after I finished chapter three since I was doing really well. But, I kinda forgot to take my medication so I dropped down pretty low. Especially right now since I started it right back up. I'm sorry for the wait. Plus, I've been extremely busy.
A/N 2: I went to a Drill and Ceremony camp that people at my school set up. D&C is a JROTC thing. I was in JROTC last year (junior year) but I can't handle the teacher - super mean to me and he's my school advisor which means I've had him since freshman year - so I'm only doing D&C. I was going to go with unarmed, but after being on armed (rifles!) I decided I'm going to stay on the armed team. It's a lot of fun spinning rifles around and getting to hit the butt of the rifle onto the ground with everyone else.
But yeah, I had a lot of fun those three days even if my muscles were sore when I came home ^^
A/N 3: I said previously that I kinda lost control over Lovino and Antonio. What I meant by that is that I can't necessarily control how they work things out. I can control the situation and all that jazz, but now I feel like a messanger ;3;
A/N 4: Just a heads up, our lovely Antonio will be taking the spotlight next chapter!
Enjoy!
Waiting does not bother me, nor does the distance that is cropping up between us. All I want is a true commitment and to know that your heart will never change.
Ting Stores
XxX
Nothing remarkable happened over the course of a couple of days. My family and I got ready for Christmas - Feli and grandpa were going to make this amazing ham hell yeah - and I busied myself with making the desserts. Some of our neighbors were coming over or else we wouldn't have bothered to make a bunch of food. We had so much. Casseroles, breads, cheeses, salads (yeah more than one I don't know why), steamed vegetables. Oh yeah, and wine. Can't forget the wine.
Italian wine, of course.
The three of us busied ourselves while we listened to Christmas songs on the radio. Once Feliciano was done preparing the ham that we let sit and slow cook for the night, he joined me in frosting the cookies I just cooled down.
I hadn't really talked to him much since I was busy trying to get presents for everyone. Plus, he was busy with his boyfriend. He looked around to see where our grandpa was then looked at me with a mischievous smile. Hmm…
"Soo, Lovi~" Damn that tone of voice. He was up to something and it was probably embarrassing. For me, anyway. "How is Antonio doing?"
A simple question but I almost dropped the butter knife I was holding. Aw shit now the hat I made on the santa cookie was ruined.
Focus, Lovino, focus!
I didn't look at him in fear that he could read me. "I guess he's doing fine. How's Potato Breath?"
Haha a new nickname.
Feliciano shrugged. "He's okay. Just busy." He placed a decorated cookie in the container and grabbed a new one. His fingers were covered in frosting which made me chuckle. I got a nostalgic feeling from when we were kids trying to frost the cookies. My grandpa had to help us but we were so determined with being 'big kids,' which resulted in a huge fucking mess.
There was a comfortable silence between us, but after a few moments it got destroyed. "Seriously though. How's Antonio? You seem to be talking to him a lot more."
Shrugging, I placed sprinkles onto a cookie. "Well yeah. The both of us aren't really doing much. It helps pass the time."
"Hmm, but I can hear you talking to him late into the night. It's kind of strange." He paused and caught my gaze, his amber eyes trying to read me. "And you laugh a lot when you're talking to him. It's strange."
Well that's nice of him. "H-hey! I laugh even when I'm not talking to that bastard!"
There was only a hum of acknowledgment from my brother so I left it at that. No point in trying to argue. He was right, afterall. I had gotten happier, but I didn't think it was that noticeable. I guess not. I hope my grandpa hasn't noticed though. That wouldn't be fun at all.
Nothing really changed between Antonio and I. We still talked to each other, but it was more filled with compliments. There was also the occasional whine of wanting the other around. Wanting each other around wasn't something new, but now that we were open with our feelings, there was a bit more longing.
I don't know. I really like it though. I like talking to him to the point where we are practically speaking. I like being able to compliment him. It's nice. Especially seeing him blush and getting all bashful. Such a cute sight.
But yeah, nice stuff.
However, both of us were busy today. I fell asleep early and woke up early to start helping out. Antonio was helping his mom cook as well, so he told me, since his grandparents were coming.
And his dad.
I was concerned about this. He was free from him for the whole break. Antonio just shrugged it off and told me not to worry but I knew better. He was anxious about it. The only thing I could do was tell him things would be okay and that he could text me if he needed to. I hate being so powerless though.
Feliciano and I continued to work together, occasionally singing along to the Christmas songs. I don't really remember the last time him and I did something together by ourselves. It was pleasant; we should do it more often.
XxX
"Lovino these cookies are delicious!" I looked to see my grandfather happily snacking on one.
I snorted. "Don't eat all of them, grandpa. They're for tomorrow." But I couldn't help but smile. I always loved being praised. It's not like he had never complimented and acknowledge something I did, but still. It was nice for one of your talents to get noticed.
He only smiled at me and I couldn't help but return it. His expression was one of surprise so I made haste and went to the living room. So much for trying to keep things unnoticeable. Feli saw me and instantly patted a spot next to him. The old Rudolph movie - you know, the one from 1964 - was playing. As a kid it freaked me the fuck out. Mostly the Hermey. Not sure why though.
I sat next to him then put some of the blanket he had ontop of me. What? It's fucking cold. Before I could get too cozy, however, my phone buzzed. I grabbed it from my pocket - Feliciano wiggled his eyebrows at me ugh - and looked at the lockscreen with a giddy feeling.
If you haven't guessed already, Antonio texted me.
Que blushing here.
Tonio [SENT 19:34] i finally have a break from all the cooking and cleaning. what have you been up to?
Me [SENT 19:35] Mostly baking. There wasn't much cleaning to do. Now I'm watching a movie with Feli, the 1964 Rudolph one.
Tonio [SENT 19:37] ooooh that one! i love that movie! i remember sitting on the couch with everyone with eggnog
Me [SENT 19:37] That is the most Christmassy thing I have ever heard. A+ on family bonding.
Me [SENT 19:38] Anyway, what are you up to?
Tonio [SENT 19:39] lazing around until dinner. i'm so bored ;-;
Me [SENT 19:41] Go read a book or something. Give your brain some exercise.
Tonio [SENT 19:41] ooooooooor
Tonio [SENT 19:42] i could just, you know
Tonio [SENT 19:43] swim across the ocean to come see you
Ugh that bastard.
Me [SENT 19:43] Better start swimming. Maybe you'll make it for New Years.
Tonio [SENT 19:43] if i was would you be my new year kiss? ;)
Me [SENT 19:44] Obviously. Now come on, get to it.
Tonio [SENT 19:44] okay i'm sure my mom would let me. she practically loves you. honestly she's probably planning a wedding
Me [SENT 19:45] Omg Toni please.
Me [SENT 19:45] You're making me blush like crazy. Feliciano is now looking at me weirdly and probably about to grab my phone.
Tonio [SENT 19:45] could we have tomatoes? mom is curious
The fucking second I unlocked my phone, Feliciano took it and pushed me away with his damn feet. He shamelessly started to look over the conversation. I was so going to beat his fucking ass.
"Feliciano. I am giving you three seconds to give me my phone back." My voice was low and full of fucking fury. Too bad the bastard wasn't ticklish. "Give it back!"
His face got all bright and happy as he continued to read our text messages. So embarrassing and awful and so many fucking pet names. Please end me, god please. Five seconds passed so I pounced on him. He yelped in surprise but didn't give me my phone back.
"Lovi you two are so cute together!" He squealed.
My face turned red in embarrassment and I started to get more frantic. "Feliciano please!"
"Fine fine," he said, giving me the phone back. I snatched it out of his grasp and gave him the dirtiest look I could muster. "I already found out what I needed to. Have fun, Lovi~" With that he pranced up the stairs like the gay asshole he was.
I guess I can't judge though. The gay part. Because I'm dating another boy.
Yeah.
Wonder how grandpa would take it.
Speaking of the devil, he walked into the living room, his eyebrows furrowed. "What happened in here?"
I looked at the room, which had pillows on the floor and the blanket we were using earlier. Shrugging, I got up and started walking towards the stairs. "Feli took my phone when I was in the middle of something. No biggie."
I could hear grandpa chuckle, which meant my vague explanation was enough. Thank god.
After running up the stairs to my room, I looked at my phone and read the texts.
Oh my god.
Tonio [SENT 19:45] oh and we should have the Spain and Italy national flowers. it'll be cool
Tonio [SENT 19:45] you'd probably look really nice in a light blue. we should do pastel colors!
Tonio [SENT 19:57] i take this silence that you're amazed with my planning skills. thank you for enjoying it. please take your time to admire me
I was going to beat his ass. I don't know how I'll manage it, but it'll fucking happen.
Me [SENT 19:57] Antonio Fernandez Carriedo
Me [SENT 19:57] Why are you thinking about a wedding? Our wedding, to be specific.
Tonio [SENT 19:58] oh come on it'll totally happen. our story is totally like a cheesy romance novel, just more gay. there will be hard times and all that jazz but after years of trying, we'll be together.
Me [SENT 19:59] Well if you put it that way it does sound like it'll happen. BUT I feel like it's way too soon to be talking about this. Let's give it some time, okay?
Tonio [SENT 20:01] of course, lovi~! but soon you'll realize
Tonio [SENT 20:02] just you wait
Me [SENT 20:03] Well that doesn't sound weird. Anyway, hours ago you said you wanted to talk on the phone. I'm finally free.
Me [SENT 20:03] AKA I really wanna hear you talk because I'm like 99% sure I'm in love with your voice
Me [SENT 20:03] Wink wonk
I am the fucking master of flirting. Antonio's skills are really effective yeah, but I am smooth as fuck. Like butter.
That's a really lame saying, honestly. "Smooth like butter," I muttered and automatically cringed. I'm never saying that again.
Tonio [SENT 20:05] yes of course! can we facetime? :D
Me [SENT 20:05] Ugh fine. Don't expect something marvelous.
Tonio [SENT 20:06] i'm sure you look amazing. like always ;)
Excuse me as I go and splash cold water on my face.
Yeah.
Anyway.
I fixed the t-shirt I was wearing (really old one so it looked all worn and gross) and tried my absolute hardest to get the few tangles out of my hair (and on a side note fuck that curl of mine).
Right when I was done trying to make myself look the least bit presentable, I got a FaceTime call… thingy. My heart skipped a beat when I saw it was Antonio. Well, of course it was Antonio. Alfred and Catherine were way too busy to do much. Hopefully we could have a get together before the break ended though.
I quickly answered the phone, and after waiting a couple of seconds, I could see Antonio's smiling face. All I could do was smile back. He stupidly waved at me and I went to wave back but his mom came rushing over oh my god. I've talked to this woman many times (again, she knew a lot about me) but now that Antonio and I were trying to date, i was fucking terrified. I wanted his mother to like me.
Which she did, so my stupid mind was overthinking.
But yeah. She waved at me and immediately started talking. "Lovino! How are you? Oh and how has your Christmas Eve been?" Antonio was chuckling next to her, probably because of my flustered face.
"Hello, Ms. Castillion," I said with a small smile. What? She was a lady and every lady needed to be treated nicely. "I'm doing well, thank you. Oh my Christmas Eve? Filled with baking."
Her face lit up. "You sound like you like baking. Is that true?" I nodded, which was a satisfying response, then continued to talk. "Antonio told me that you and him are dating~"
Oh the humanity oh my god. I guess I should be happy about that because she seemed to be happy about it, but still. I was embarrassed. Thank god Antonio - who is mostly oblivious - noticed my discomfort.
"Mama, I was hoping to talk to Lovi alone…" It looked like it was hard for him to ask this, in a sense since he didn't want to upset her, but she got the hint, told me goodbye, then busied herself with something else. "Lovino, I'm so happy to see you."
I didn't know where to start. Scold him for the wedding plans (that still kinda made me happy, in a sense)? For telling his mother about us trying to date? Ugh. It's not like I was angry about it, but probably more confused.
"Antonio? Why did you tell your mom about, uhm… u-us?" Again, kinda flustered here.
He smiled, giggled - yes giggled - then shrugged like it was nothing. "Because I'm happy that we're a thing! Why wouldn't I?"
"Maybe because it's only been a couple of days?" I scoffed.
"Come on, she would've found out no matter what," he reasoned. I didn't budge because I'm just stubborn like that, annoying, stubborn, and an asshole. Even hearing him sigh didn't make me budge. No, I was going to be the annoying one about all of this because I felt like it was way too soon to tell people. It has only been like, a week. Plus, did this even count as a relationship? We didn't - "Lovino. You're thinking too much."
That made my head snap back to the camera with a fowl expression. More like he wasn't thinking at all!
His smile graced his features, being way too calming. "I think this will work out. Do… do you?"
That honestly made me wonder. Did I? Long distant relationships never seem to workout. You read some of those depressing stories online, realize that it's all the same, then try to make do with the time you have left. My fallen face must've given away my emotions since Antonio's smile went from slightly amused to non existent.
"Lovino, if you don't want to try, I understand. Please don't think you have to do this for me." Good god he sounded so heartbroken. But what was this 'you don't have to do this for me,' shit?
"Excuse you, Antonio, but I'm not still sitting here because I'm doing it for you." I'm not sure where this confidence was coming from - or this irritability, honestly - but I didn't try to stop it. He was being so insecure right now, which isn't like him. Okay yes, everyone has troubles and I've definitely heard Antonio's on late night phone calls with him crying, but he was never this insecure about these kinds of things. "You need to have some more confidence as well, you fuckface. I'm sitting here, talking to you, going on with the whole relationship thing. I haven't told you I don't want to be your boyfriend. I haven't told you that this was a bad idea."
Antonio tried to interrupt me, but I cut him off like a motherfucking boss.
"I have some concerns about this. You have some concerns about this. But we're going to work this out. We are going to try to be the best boyfriends ever. Why? Because we are both drop dead gorgeous and willing to try this out. Am I clear?"
Apparently I was since he just stared at me in complete awe. Did I take it too far? Did I hurt his feelings? Oh shit was he thinking about cutting this off?
Then the bastard started sniffling. I only watched as he rubbed his eyes, sniffling and, what the fuck, smiling? I don't understand this guy at all.
He chuckled a bit, removing one of his hands from his eyes. "Thank you, sunshine. And you're right. I'm just a bit nervous about the whole thing."
I crossed my arms and humphed. "No shit, Antonio - wait did you call me sunshine? Is that your pet name for me?" I didn't know whether to be flattered since sunshine is a pretty big compliment for a grumpy guy like me, or slightly offended. I don't know why I'd be offended, but yeah. I don't know.
"Yes! I think it's cute," he cooed to me all sparkly eyed. "I thought of it a couple of days ago and I liked it so much that I put it as your contact name in my phone!" He was so pleased with himself that I couldn't even manage to get upset.
I could only bring myself to chuckle and grin. Antonio didn't bother to say anything else - neither did I for the matter - so we sat in silence enjoying each other's company. I could hear Antonio typing away on his computer so I grabbed a book from my nightstand and started reading.
Silences like this tended to happen often. Not because we didn't have anything to talk about - Antonio can chatter for hours - but mostly because we didn't know what to talk about. We both have a lot of things on our minds but bringing them up and talking about it can be exhausting. Plus, we didn't really want to sour the mood. So instead we tended to sit in silence.
I looked up to my phone for a brief second and saw Antonio smiling at me. It was a lot more loving than what I was used to. My only response was a blush and a shy smile back. Then we turned back to what we decided to distract ourselves with.
Yeah, there was plenty to say, but it was nice to take a break.
