Here's another chapter. Thank you Kenzalina for looking it over and checking things out for me. You are amazing as always!


Deeks looked in his rear view mirror, seeing Kensi standing there watching him drive away and Callen walking up to her. He wasn't lying when he said they didn't need him like that. Her words, as innocent as they seemed, reminded him of his mother. Every time his dad would finish with his beatings, the first thing she would say was 'please don't leave me.'

And while he knew Kensi hadn't meant it like that – there was nothing wrong with her words – he couldn't help the flashback that came. And knowing Max Gentry was right there, he had to leave. It was for the best.

He hit his steering wheel, unable to keep the anger at bay anymore. Taking a deep breath, knowing he had to at least make it home before he unleashed something, he starting chanting Kensi's name, hoping it would calm him down.

Before long and not really paying attention anymore to where he was going, he found himself sitting in the parking lot of his dad's favorite bar. He looked at the old building, remembering all the times he had had to come and picked up his old man because he was too drunk to drive. He gripped the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. He could hear Max Gentry urging him to go inside, get a drink. After everything that's happened, don't you deserve it? At the very least, it could be a celebratory drink for having knocked up a chick.

"Twinkies, Fern, chocolate, mismatched eyes." He could feel himself calming down just a fraction, and that was all he needed to put the car in drive and leave. Fifteen minutes later, he found himself back at Kensi's apartment. He may not have realized he was driving here, but he knew there was nowhere else he needed to be right now.

He needed her. She kept him grounded, and that's what he was hoping for right now. She had said she didn't know what to do to help him, but she was already doing so much just by being her. And now, she was pregnant. With his child. And he needed to be there for her, too. But he needed to be Deeks, fully, before he could take on something else.

Getting out of the car, he looked around and noticed the entire team's vehicles were there. Perfect. I come to talk to Kensi – alone – I'm going to have to explain this whole bullshit situation to everyone. I'm sure they are already in there talking about me anyway. Absolutely perfect.

"Really? We're going to do this now?" He was now talking to himself, pacing outside on the sidewalk. What better time to do this?

"How about never. I'm really liking that answer." Never may work for you, but not for me. Think about it man, do you really want to go in there and have everyone look at you like you're crazy?

"I'm having a one sided conversation with myself and my alter ego. I'm already crazy, don't you think?" Deeks brought his hands up to his face, rubbing it, wishing he could rub Max Gentry off of him. You really think you are fit to raise a child? Look at you, sweating, pale. Are you having cramps too?

Deeks scoffed at the inner commentary. "It's not going to work this time." Before his subconscious could retort, he walked up to Kensi's door and knocked. He could hear the chatter inside, but couldn't make out the words. When the door opened, beautiful eyes meeting his with hope in them, he knew he made the right decision – this time at least.

"So… you guys having a party in here?"


Ten minutes after Callen sent the SOS message to the team, they had all arrived. Because Kensi's living room wasn't that big, it was pretty cramped, but no one seemed to mind. Sam and Hetty both had understanding looks on their faces, having an idea what this was about. Eric and Nell both looked a little lost, Nell putting the pieces together a little more quickly than Eric.

"So, what's the problem?" Eric wasn't sure what was going on, but the solemn expression on Kensi and Callen's face told him it was something big.

Callen looked over at Kensi, wondering how to begin this conversation. He didn't want to give anything away until she was ready, but he also knew that telling the team about the baby would have to happen soon.

Kensi, picking up his signal and the question in his eyes, decided it was now or never. She gave him a slight nod, took a breath, and decided to dive in.

"I'm having Deeks's baby." Silence filled the room. Hetty and Sam didn't have quite the same shocked expression that Eric and Nell did. If the situation hadn't been serious, she would have laughed. Instead, she looked back over at Callen who just shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, that explains the sudden trip to the bathroom this morning. When did you find out?" Sam had a feeling this morning, having already gone through that with Michelle, but he was never one to jump to conclusions like that.

"After we left today. I realized the possibility of it coming back to my desk, hence the hyperventilating." Hetty and Sam nodded, understanding in their eyes. Eric and Nell kept glancing at each other before looking back at Kensi. Instead of acting shy or embarrassed at this turn of events, she gave them both a confident smile. There was absolutely nothing to be ashamed about, and she sure as hell didn't want anyone wondering if she was questioning it. She and Deeks may have a lot to work to do, the road ahead of them lined with speed bumps and debris, but they would maneuver it together.

"I took at test when I got home, and it was positive. Deeks came by this evening, and he knows about it, but the response was iffy at best." She turned her head to Callen, silently asking him to continue. He gave a small nod before continuing.

"You guys have noticed since he came back from LAPD and his undercover mission as Max Gentry that he's been off. Not in the field… when it matters, he's got his head in the game and he's the same old Deeks. But it's any other time. We all know that Max Gentry isn't a favored alias of his, and we can speculate why, but it doesn't really matter right now. Whatever happened on that assignment he was on, it's messing with him." He looked over at Sam, seeing that he wanted to say something.

"He talked to me today after you two left. The first part of it, as you were leaving, was obviously with Max. Later, after Callen texted me and said he was staying here today, he was Deeks again. When I asked him what was going on, I could see the internal struggle of whether or not to talk to me, but he finally opened up. He doesn't want to be Max, but he doesn't know how to stay Deeks. I told him when he felt like Max Gentry was too close, to use words associated with Marty Deeks, to help keep him grounded." Sam turned to Kensi, making sure to maintain eye contact with her.

"Every word he muttered today to keep Max away had to do with you." He watched the surprise in her eyes before she smiled a little.

Callen turned to Hetty. "Where's Nate and how soon can you bring him home?" Hetty nodded her head a little, knowing this question was coming and had already put the wheels in motion.

"He will be here tomorrow afternoon Mr. Callen. I spoke with Mr. Getz on the way over here this evening." Callen just shook his head a little at her, not really surprised.

"Good. The sooner he gets help, professional help, the better. We will be here for whatever he needs –"Callen turned to Kensi, "- whatever you both need. But there's only so much we can do." He looked around, noticing everyone was nodding.

Nell was the next to speak. "What can Eric and I do from OPS?" Callen could see where she was headed with this and smiled at her.

"Get us any info you can on his mission with LAPD. It would help a lot of if we knew what happened. We may not know everything that happened, but it will give us a place to start."

Hetty tilted her head a little, scrunching her eyes and looking at Callen.

"Don't you think Mr. Deeks should be the one to tell you what happened? He may not be very happy when he learns we went behind his back." She watched Callen, waiting for his response, and she didn't have to wait long. However, it was Kensi who spoke up this time.

"Hetty, I understand what you're saying, but I agree with Callen. The more we know what happened, the better we can help him. If we can figure out what certain triggers are, we can make sure to avoid them." Her face fell, thinking about the words she had said that had somehow triggered something, and not a good something. She was brought back to the present when Sam put his hand on her knee, squeezing a little.

"Something we need to know Kens?" His eyebrows were lifted, concern filling his voice.

"I was um… talking to him earlier. Telling him that we need him. I asked him to please not leave us." She shook her head at her words, remembering how he had ran like hell after those words.

"Kens, it wasn't your fault, okay? We all have our demons, deal with things in our own way. If this LAPD assignment had never happened, I have no doubt those words would not have affected him like that." Kensi could just nod at him, unable to speak right now.

"Okay, so Eric and Nell will work on getting more information on his assignment. Sam and I will start looking into Deeks's past –"Kensi gave him a pointed look, "discretely. He told Kensi he was just like his dad. I think there might be a little more to the story." Everyone nodded before Kensi realized she hadn't been included.

"What about me?" Callen smirked at her before answering.

"You… you grow a baby and make sure Deeks stays on track. That's the most important job here." Her eyes got big as she put her hand on her stomach.

"Yeah uh, okay. I can do that. I think. Of course I can. Right?" She looked around as everyone let out a resounding "Yes." She took a deep breath when she heard the knock on the door.

She quickly looked over at Callen, both of them raising eyebrows at each other. He went to stand when she scoffed at him.

"My house Callen. I may be pregnant, but I can still use a gun. And kick your ass. I can handle it." He laughed at her, letting her get up. Everyone watched as she opened the door, her body relaxing a little. And they all cringed slightly when they heard a very familiar voice.

"So… you guys having a party in here?"


AN - so what did you think? Reviews mean the world!