Her head was aching when Maura finally crawled into bed that night. Too much information and perhaps too much wine as well. Jane had spent the whole evening with her, and after they were both tired of exchanging information about themselves, they had watched a movie.

Maura stared up at the ceiling and smiled. She still couldn't believe what she was doing, this was nothing like her. But after the surprise visit that evening, even Maura had to admit that it was too late to tell the truth now. And what would one dinner hurt? They could just pretend to break up later and it was all over. Her mother didn't have to know the truth, and Maura didn't have to see Jane again.

Although that seemed like a bad thing right now. Even though they were night and day didn't mean they had no chemistry. And Jane's humor, sarcastic comments and straight-to-the-point-attitude was like a breath of fresh air. She liked talking with Jane, she liked laughing with her and listen to the stories she told from her job. For some reason, she felt more connected to Jane than any of her so-called friends.

So what was she supposed to do after the dinner the next night? Pay Jane for the trouble and move on? Tell her mother that 'oh, we decided to go our separate ways'?

Because clearly, she couldn't have it all. She couldn't still be friends with Jane after they 'broke up'? Or could she?


It was almost noon when Maura entered Jane's apartment, and she was starting to panic. It was so easy to think of the dinner as 'tomorrow night', it was not so fun to think of it as 'hours away'. She completely ignored how Jane excused the mess, and rushed inside.

"Maura? What's wrong?" Jane asked when she noticed the frantic breathing.

"I'm freaking out! I can't go through with this."

"Yes you can" Jane argued and closed the door. She walked over to Maura and grabbed her arms. "Hey, it's just a few hours. We can do it. We've already found our story, the worst is actually over."

"How can you be so calm?" Maura almost pouted.

Jane chuckled and had to look away. "Oh my god… I think we just found out how you manipulate me in our relationship." When she looked up and met Maura's eyes again, Jane started laughing. Maura was obviously not on the same page as Jane. "You're really cute when you're pouting like that" Jane explained. "And I guess that's how you talked your girlfriend into going to this dinner to meet your mom." She added a wink, and Maura finally smiled.

"But I'm not calm, Maura. I'm freaking out about something too. Wanna know what that is?" Jane continued.

"If this is you freaking out then you are most definitely calm. But yes, tell me."

"I have no clue what I'm gonna wear!"

This time Maura laughed. "That's your biggest worry?"

"Yes! I hate dresses. I don't own a single one! I have one skirt, but that's part of my police uniform and I've never worn it. What the hell am I gonna wear tonight?"

Day and night indeed.

"I can help you with that, Jane. I know fashion."

"Good. Then you can calm me down by finding something I can wear, and I'll calm you down by lying my ass off tonight."

Maura scrunched her nose. "I hope you won't be using words like that tonight…?"

Jane laughed and let go of Maura's arms. "We're bickering like a married couple already. I don't know what you're worried about… Come on honey, you have a very important job to do in my closet." She headed for her bedroom with Maura close behind, shaking her head.

After going through Jane's closet and finding something they both agreed on, Maura headed back home to get herself ready. Thank god she had gone through the same routine hundreds of times before, because her thoughts were not in the same room as the rest of her body. She went over Jane's list again, quizzed herself on Jane's family and interests while she shaved her legs. While she showered she spent several minutes trying to get Jane's birthday correct, she always switched two of the digits. And when she had put on her make-up and dried her hair, she started the quiz all over again.

A couple of hours before they had to leave, Jane showed up and Maura smiled when she opened the door. Her 'girlfriend' was dressed in black dress pants, a red blouse that fit the detective perfectly, and a black jacket.

"So… do you approve?" Jane asked and smiled.

"Absolutely" Maura nodded. "You look very nice, Jane."

"So do you. Is that pure cotton?" Jane teased and touched the robe Maura was wearing.

"Not funny, Jane. I haven't dressed yet." Maura smiled before she let Jane in and closed the door. "Beer?"

"I would love one, honey" Jane replied with a smirk.

Maura found a bottle in the fridge and handed to Jane before she found herself a glass of wine. "You really do rehears a lot. It sounds almost natural to you" she smiled.

Jane scoffed and sat down on the couch. "Oh Maura Isles, you have no idea" she smiled. When Maura joined her with confusion etched on her face, Jane laughed. "I'm kidding, Maura. God, you're so easy to mess with."

Once again Maura just shook her head instead of a reply. But she couldn't help smiling. It was that fresh air again.

"But in all seriousness… honey…" Jane sat up and swallowed. "Like… what do you expect from me in…I mean, how close are we supposed to be? I know we're supposed to be in love and all, but… I don't want to do something wrong and I have no idea what's appropriate and stuff. If you know what I mean."

"I'm not quite sure I follow you right now."

Jane sighed and took a deep breath. "Okay… am I supposed to kiss you or something tonight?"

Maura's mouth formed the word long before it slipped from her lips. "Oh…"

"Don't get me wrong, I would. But I mean, is it appropriate for the place where we're going? Since we're both women…?"

Too much begged for Maura's attention and she had to take a long sip of her wine. Was Jane supposed to kiss her? Why hadn't she thought about this before? Would it be inappropriate? "I… I honestly don't know" she whispered before clearing her throat. "I haven't thought about it at all."

"Then maybe we should. I don't want to step on your toes or make you uncomfortable in any way. You kinda have to set the rules here."

She knew Jane didn't mean to pressure her in any way, but she still couldn't fight the panic that snuck up on her. She was frustrated with herself for not thinking about this. She had never kissed a woman before! How on earth did she overlook this detail in her weird plan? "I… I really don't know what to say, Jane. I didn't think about this." She got up and started pacing around in her living room. "And I don't understand why!"

"Hey!" Jane was quickly on her feet and grabbed Maura's arm to stop her. "You're starting to panic again. Don't do that." She softly rubbed both of Maura's arms.

"But I'm a mess. I can't lie, remember? I took the most difficult way out of a situation. And… I'm starting to realize I'm in way over my head right now…"

"Maura… you're not a mess, okay? I'm sorry I brought it up and made you panic again, but I needed to ask you." Jane watched as Maura took in a deep breath and nodded. "Good… let me put this another way. If, hypothetically, I was a guy you brought to this dinner. And we ended up dancing to a slow, romantic song. I would've kissed you. And you would've expected me to, right?"

Once again Maura nodded.

"So what if we end up on the dancefloor tonight, which is unlikely cause I hate to dance but you never know… but if that happens, what do you want me to do?" Jane's hands slid down Maura's arms until she held the other woman's hands.

Maura didn't really give it much thought and was just happy she had some sort of control over her breathing again. She drew in a shaky breath, but shook her head. "I'm not sure… I'm sorry, Jane, but I don't know."

"That's okay. Nothing to be sorry about" Jane smiled. "I guess I'll just have to play it by ear then."

"What if I freak out?" Maura asked nervously.

Jane was starting to understand just what Maura was trying to tell her and sighed. "You've never kissed a woman before, have you?"

Maura slowly shook her head.

"Okay, come on." Jane gently pushed Maura back to the couch and they sat down. But once she was facing Maura again, Jane didn't know what to say. Sure, she could just kiss her and get it over with. And if Maura did freak out it wouldn't matter. But there was that whole thing with boundaries and stepping on toes. "I'm not sure what to say…" she chuckled and looked away.

Maura wanted to say something but she didn't know what to say either. Seconds went by while she studied Jane's face. And then her logical brain finally kicked in. "Jane, can you do me a favor?"

Jane tore her eyes away from that very interesting carpet on the floor and met Maura's eyes. "Sure…"

"Can you kiss me? Now?"

Jane had no idea why she was suddenly nervous. "Um… why?" she laughed.

"Because I don't like to be unprepared for situations like tonight. I don't like uncertain variables. I'd like to know the answer to any questions I might get." Maura smiled, relieved to have found a way around another obstacle. She could clearly see the wheels in Jane's head turning. "And you are supposed to be my girlfriend…" she added.

Jane laughed again and nodded. "That is a good point. I'd be a lousy girlfriend if I didn't kiss you when you wanted me to…" Her laughter died when she made eye contact with Maura again. Okay, she could in fact just kiss her and be done with it. Except this wasn't just a kiss. It wasn't even just a first kiss. Maura had never kissed a woman before, and Jane was given the honorable/horrible task. Not that she was a bad kisser, no Jane had no doubt at all about her kissing skills. But a first kiss with a woman was something you would remember forever. And… what if Maura did freak out? Jane didn't want to be that memory.

"Jane? Do I have to start pouting?" Maura teased.

Jane shook her head and smiled. "No, that wouldn't be fair. To either of us." She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, and discreetly ran her tongue over her lips. She was really doing this. She was about to kiss that beautiful, adorable woman in front of her. And she was nervous.

So maybe there was one more thing besides boundaries and stepping on toes.

Jane didn't want to think too much, she knew it would just end up in a complete mess, at least for her own sake. So she leaned towards Maura, resting her arm on the back of the couch for balance, and met a pair of soft lips. Maybe even silk. She gave Maura a moment to back out, but when she didn't, Jane added a careful hand to her cheek and slowly moved her lips against Maura's.

Yup, you're in trouble. Okay, focus, one Mississippi, two Mississippi… three.

Jane pulled back to a proper distance and looked at Maura. "So…?" Her voice cracked a bit at the end and she made sure cover it with a deep breath.

Maura slowly opened her eyes and pressed her lips together. "Oh… wow."

Jane stifled a laugh. "Wow….good or bad?"

"Good. You're a great kisser" Maura smiled shyly. "And it was so… smooth. No scratching beard that made my skin itch."

Jane couldn't hold back the laugh anymore. "Yeah, well, I did shave before I came over…"

Maura laughed as well and seemed to lower her shoulders. "And I didn't freak out."

"No, you didn't. So does that mean you're prepared?"

"I think so" Maura nodded before she got up. "Thank you. I better go get ready."

Jane watched her walk away and sighed. "Yeah, anytime…" she whispered to herself.