So I made Unique older in this. That's what AU is for right? And plus, we don't really know her that well at this point. I made her a drag queen because once again, we don't know what her gender identity is at this point. I hope RIB decides to explore that. I know some of you aren't all that chuffed with the character on the show. I hope I can make you like my version at least! Also, I wrote a one shot that may become a WIP called Old Hat. I'd be honored if you guys wanted to check it out.
Hmmm...fun fact: I have ten piercings. It's up to you guys to guess where they are...haha
Come say hi on tumblr, practical-amanda.
"Hello Mr. Paparazzi man," Blaine said. He was walking towards Kurt and the other man had already snapped several photos of Blaine. "Does this mean you like my outfit?"
Kurt laughed and put the camera down, "I always like your outfit, but I can't shoot for the magazine in the club," Kurt answered. There was an awkward moment where neither of them knew how to greet each other. Did they shake hands? Did they wave...fist bump...hug? After a beat Kurt made the decision for them and pulled Blaine into an awkward half hug. "It's good to see you and I'd love to feature that cardigan on the cover of the next Kurtain if you'll let me."
"Really?" Blaine enthused. He was wearing one of his favorites, a gray button down with lobsters on it. "I would be honored. That's a real compliment coming from you," Blaine looked appreciatively at Kurt's outfit. He had known intellectually that the journalist must have been extremely fashionable, but this was the first time that Blaine had seen him out of his bartender uniform and he was duly impressed, especially by the tightness of Kurt's pants.
"I'll have to get the details of the outfit from you later and the layout staff is going to have to approve a photo, but it's as good as done," Kurt said, following Blaine into the diner where they were meeting Unique. "So what's your friend like?"
Blaine slid into a booth across from Kurt and avoided the question for a moment by ordering three coffees from the waitress, who placed the plastic menus on their table before walking away. "She's...she's one of those people you just sort of have to meet to understand."
As if on cue, a loud voice came from behind the booth, "Blaine Anderson, where have you taken me. Don't you know you're supposed to take a lady somewhere nice?" Kurt's head whipped around and he was greeted with the sight of formidable looking woman...no drag queen he corrected himself when she got closer. Kurt was not an expert in drag, but she looked pretty fantastic. "Well I supposed I can find something to eat here if it means I can sit next to this cutie," Unique said next, finally getting close enough to spot Kurt and sliding into the booth next to him. "You should put your own damn face on the cover of your fancy magazine, boy. That's your money maker," Unique said, picking up a menu and looking through.
Kurt sent Blaine an amused look. Blaine knew that he would probably get an ear full later, but in a way it was worth it to see the look on Kurt's face when he saw who was coming to meet them. "Ahem..." Blaine began, clearing his throat loudly, "Kurt, I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine. This is Unique. Unique this is Kurt."
"It's nice to meet you," Kurt said demurely. "That's a fantastic hat you're wearing."
"Why thank you," she responded, patting her head proudly. "I made it myself," she added. "See, this one has manners," Unique said as an aside to Blaine, but Kurt could tell that the teasing was good natured.
The waitress came by at that point to take their orders. One of the things that Kurt would always love about the city is that she didn't even bat an eyelash at their seemingly odd group. "So um...how do you two know each other?"
"I saved his ass is how," Unique responded before Blaine had a chance to speak up. "Three years ago, this one comes stumbling into the Gay and Lesbian center in midtown, skinny as all get out hoping to stay there for the night."
"I had just been evicted from my apartment," Blaine said, looking a little grim, but not really upset. "I went though a difficult transition period when I first graduated college and going home wasn't really an option. It was a last resort I guess. Unique was volunteering at the front desk at the time and offered to take me home. I ended up living there for a few months while I got back on my feet and could move in with Marley, who had been my college room mate. She was a real life saver."
Unique's features had softened as Blaine told the story. It was obvious that there was a real affection between the two, even though she liked to tease. "I also got him his first job in comedy," Unique said, face turning into a mischievous grin again.
"I'm not sure that really counts as a job in comedy..." Blaine said, some reluctance in his voice.
Kurt could tell there was a possibly amusing story there and pressed the subject, "what was the job then?" he asked.
Blaine sighed, sensing that there was no way around telling Kurt the full tale, "have you ever heard of reading? Like, the drag term?" Kurt nodded. Again, he was no expert, but he watched enough LOGO to know the basics. "Well, since it can get pretty harsh, a lot of clubs have moles in the audience that the queens can make fun of if the audience isn't reacting as well as usual. It also gives them an opportunity to have fall back jokes if there aren't enough interesting people in the club. Unique got me one of those jobs at the club she works at on the weekends."
Blaine learned in that moment that he didn't love Kurt's true laughter any less when it was at his own expense, "oh my god, Blaine!" Kurt said, practically wheezing he was laughing so hard, "how have you never mentioned that in any of your routines! That is golden!" Kurt said between belly laughs.
"I don't know if I'm over the emotional trauma, yet," Blaine said, unable to stop from cracking a smile at Kurt's laughter. "Maybe after another three years."
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"Excuse me," Kurt said, after the trio had ordered dessert and more coffee, "I just have to go to the bathroom. We can talk business as soon as I get back." The three of them had such a good time chatting that they had completely forgotten to talk about the magazine, but Unique promised they would talk about advertising if Kurt splurged with her on a piece of cheese cake.
"Please tell me you're getting a piece of that," Unique stage whispered to Blaine as soon as he felt Kurt was out of ear shot.
Blaine blushed a little, "we're just friends, 'Nique. He's way out of my league."
"Boy, don't make me smack you upside that pretty little head. The only league he's out of, is the fictional one you've made up in your mind," Unique chastised. "You need to take your head out of that perky butt of yours and take a look in the mirror, maybe get the prescription changed on those Rivers Cuomo glasses you insist on wearing. You are a catch, Blaine and anyone who tells you otherwise is an idiot. You're kind, funny, and cute. I would add smart to that list if you weren't being so dumb. You better ask that boy out before someone beats you to it."
"They were Buddy Holly glasses first," Blaine mumbled, avoiding the point. Unique leveled him with an all to familiar glare. "I'll think about it, okay? I'll think about it."
Before they could say anything else, Kurt was walking back up to the table and the waitress was handing out three pieces of strawberry cheesecake.
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"Look, I have no problem with advertising for a drag store in my periodical," Kurt said. Blaine was impressed by the way Kurt conducted himself. They had been goofing around the entire time, but when it was time to talk business, Kurt was as savvy as they come. "I'm just wondering what's in it for you. I want this to be a long term partnership. I can't afford to change my advertisers every month. I'm swamped as it is."
"I understand your concerns," Unique responded, also in business mode, "but the fact of the matter is, queens love fashion, whether there's a drag in the front of the word or not. I'd be willing to bet that given the places you sell Kurtain and who I know who reads it, most of your readers are in the LGBTQ community as it is. I think it would be a smart move for you. And anyway, your style is bold and quirky and the drag queens I know happen to love it," Kurt smiled and nodded his thanks for the compliment, but he still looked slightly unconvinced. "Look, how about this. I'll start carrying your magazine in my store in addition to buying adds. I'd sell it for a profit of course, but I think I could really up your readership."
Kurt thought the suggestion over for a moment, but really this was as good a deal as he could imagine getting. When Blaine first told him he had a friend that may want to advertise with him, Unique was definitely not what he was expecting, but he was starting to think that this it might be the good kind of unexpected, "you ma'am have got yourself a deal," Kurt said, reaching his hand out to Unique.
"How old do you think I am?" Unique responded with a wink so that Kurt knew she was joking around. "I'm not a ma'am, I'm a miss," she said, meeting Kurt's hand for the shake.
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"There's this thing we all do sometimes," Blaine started his set at the club that night. Usually he liked a little more time to prepare new material, but this one came to him in a stroke of what he hoped was brilliance, and he couldn't resist using it immediately. "Or at least I tell myself that everyone does it because it makes me feel like less of a loser," Blaine said, shaking his head a bit at his own expense, "but what we all do, for the sake of argument, is make shit up in front of people we want to know better or who we want to impress."
Blaine paced to the other end of the stage, folding his hands and shaking his head, a performing style he'd picked up ever since he started letting out his true awkward persona in his comedy, "and I'm not just talking about people we're trying to flirt with or ask out on a date. That's part of it, but I really mean anyone that we're impressed with."
"Like the other day," Blaine began, "I met this comedian that I really look up to and he was wearing Rooney t-shirt. Now, the only thing I know about Rooney is that they are in fact a band, but the first thing out of my mouth was, 'I love that band,' and for the rest of the evening I had to have a fake conversation with this guy I look up to about a band, that I've never listened to," Blaine said pacing back the other way, "and this is my life, people. I do this to myself all the time. Once...just once I decided to be totally open and honest with a guy I was trying to pick up in a bar and I ended up telling him that I pee in the shower," there was a smattering of laughter in the audience and Blaine looked up and decided to add at the last second, "but really who doesn't?"
"Then there's this guy, and I'm probably going to regret saying this because he's here right now, but anyway," Blaine said, purposely avoiding Kurt's eyes. "He's one of those guys that just like, has his shit together, you know? He's just sort of got life figured out and he has this great fashion magazine that's still just starting out, but I'm pretty sure will be the next Vogue and he's just generally an impressive guy. I decided that I wanted to impress him. Maybe we could be friends or something and he won't think I'm a total idiot."
Blaine took a sip of water before he continued, "so I'm talking to him and he mentions that he's trying to find ad buyers for his magazine and I open my mouth like an idiot to tell him that I have a friend who owns a boutique shop and she might be interested because she also reads his magazine," Blaine stops and shakes his head. "What I neglected to mention, is that this friend of mine is a drag queen who runs a store...for other drag queens," the crowd laughed even harder at that. "God, I'm a mess..."
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"It turned out alright in the end I think," Kurt said, sliding Blaine's beer towards him. Blaine looked gratefully at the familiar gesture. "I loved meeting Unique."
Blaine sipped at his beer and smiled at Kurt, glad that he was choosing not to mention the more embarrassing fact that Blaine had essentially worshipped Kurt on stage that night. "I guess it did, but that's a rare treat in my world."
Kurt hummed in understanding before taking a deep breath. He was going to do this, "and if you wanted to get to know me better, you should have just said so," Blaine looked up, alarmed. He wasn't getting off so easy after all. "Would you um...would you like to maybe go out some time, just the two of us? We can both get to know each other better."
Blaine's eyes almost bugged out of their sockets at the suggestion, but there was only one answer he could possibly give, "I...I would love to. That would be amazing, Kurt."
Reading: a drag performing technique where they make fun of each other or people in the audience. It's hard to explain, but I'm sure it's on youtube or something haha.
