CHAPTER 4 BELLAMY

"Dude, this is the fourth time you've zoned out. What's going on with you?" Murphy asked buzzed and annoyed. Frankly, Bellamy is lucky that he hasn't gotten punched yet.

"Clarke and I aren't speaking," Bellamy admitted, that general statement covered a lot of ground with their friends. They bicker so much that when they don't talk everyone knows it's serious but they probably never expected this truth. Except for Miller, Miller knows everything somehow.

"What'd you do?"

"I was an idiot."

"What did you do?" Murphy smirked, knowing that it had to be good if Bellamy wouldn't talk about it.

"Don't you have a girlfriend to annoy? Where's Emori?"

"She thinks you guys don't like her."

"That's ridicu—"

"Octavia yelled at her last week," Murphy reminded him.

"And it was Clarke the week before. Shit, we can talk to them about it."

"No, they hate me too. It's fine, I'm here for you and Miller. We're friends."

"Sure."

"Okay, we all need to play something as a group, this is boring me."

Bellamy grimaced, "Nothing stupid."

"I Never…?"

"Sure. Guys, Murphy wants to play I Never…" Bellamy called, getting the large bottle of vodka from the freezer.

"Lame," Raven and Clarke exclaimed at the same time, creepy.

"You girls have a better idea?" Murphy countered.

"Fubar."

"Real fubar or different rules?"

"Two is dare, ace and three are truth with a shot for all," Raven explained.

"Everyone knows how to play?" Clarke asked while Bellamy grabbed the deck of cards from the dining room table.

He sat down a minute later and began to shuffle while everyone cleared their drinks off the coffee table so the cards can be strewn about for the pickings.

"Who's first?" he asked once the cards were mussed about.

"Raven, her induction to Friday game night," Clarke explained.

Raven shrugged and picked a card. "Three. Bellamy, what's my question?"

"What's your angle with Clarke?" He said without hesitation.

"I wanted to know why Finn's so obsessed. Clarke is awesome, it's no mystery or secret, I just want to be her friend now," Raven said and took her shot.

Bellamy grimaced, staring down the tall brunette.

"My turn!" Clarke cheered, sticking her hand into the center of the messy pile. "Eight. Hmm, Taylor Swift songs."

"Style!" Octavia said immediately.

Everyone called out songs from her last three albums except Bellamy and Lincoln who were lost.

"Come on, Bell, you know this," Clarke smiled innocently.

"I—New Romantics?" he guessed, hating that he knew it based on Clarke's grin.

"Lincoln?"

"I Knew You Were Trouble," he grimaced.

"Thank you, Octavia," Clarke scolded the couple for cheating.

Octavia shrugged and pulled out a seven, thumb master. Then Lincoln grabbed a queen and all the girls groaned before taking their shots. Up next was Murphy who of course pulled a king and chugged his beer, everyone followed suit one at a time around the table causing a "waterfall".

Then it was Bellamy's turn and he prayed for anything but an ace or three, he knows what Murphy is going to ask him, unsatisfied with Bellamy's earlier explanation of mood or lack there of. He didn't look at the card, instead showing it to Miller on his left. "Three."

"What?" Bellamy exclaimed, looking at the card. Three of hearts, ironic. He downed his shot and turned to Murphy, awaiting his question.

"What did you do to make Clarke not speak to you?"

"What?" Clarke asked. "Bellamy and I are fine."

"If that's what you call sleeping in the dorm now," Maya interjected.

"What the hell is going on?" Octavia asked, probably slightly annoyed that she didn't pick up on it.

"Does everybody know?" Bellamy asked Clarke.

"No, I didn't tell—"

"Everybody but me apparently," Octavia grumbled.

"Nothing happened," Clarke insisted.

"Nothing?" Bellamy questioned, never admitting his hurt feelings.

"I didn't mean… Jesus, Murphy, this is nobody's business!"

"I kiss you and you tell everyone but it means nothing," Bellamy spat, making it clear that he was hurt now.

"Kiss!" Octavia exclaimed confused.

"We were going to talk about it later but why not get everyone's opinion of it first?" Clarke sneered back at Bellamy angrily.

"I'm—I'm confused," Octavia sighed.

"I think it's about damn time," Miller stated for the second time in two days.

"Bryan?" Clarke asked patiently.

"I'm, you two argue more than anyone else I know, I don't have a clue."

"Monty? Jasper?"

"I trust your decisions," Monty said, looking over to Harper. No one knew how he felt about her except the chosen few, Bellamy being one of them.

"Hmm," Jasper thought about it and Maya elbowed him in the side. "No, I love it! Mom and Dad!" he squealed.

"Clarke," Bellamy growled. "Come on, this is nobody's business."

"That's what I just said. This is ridiculous. If I'm going to be with you it's because I want to, not because all our friends are saying I should."

"I'm not," Octavia scowled.

"Do you want to?" Bellamy asked, getting anxious and ignoring his sister.

"I don't want to discuss this in front of everybody," Clarke said, knowing Bellamy's next move.

"Everybody out. Thanks for coming but we need you to go," he said hastily.

"Bell, come on, we were all having fun! Octavia is the thumb master, we all know you listen to Taylor Swift. Raven was slightly jealous but quickly got over it once she realized that I just can't help being awesome. Excluding the last five minutes, this has been one hell of a party and its all thanks to fubar."

"Clarke," Bellamy practically begged. Was she as nervous as he was? She's not the one being rejected, he kissed her, he's the idiot that fell for his best friend and tried to self-medicate with a whole slew of brunettes. He apparently has a thing for blondes. No, not plural, singular, he has a thing for a blonde, Clarke.

"Fine, but you have to make it up to them," Clarke caved.

"You both do," Harper said, when did she get here?

"She speaks," Clarke smirked. "Please guys, we'll be here next week and we will buy the pizza."

"Is that a couple we or—"

"Jasper, if you finish that sentence, I will make you wish you broke your arm at camp and had to leave early," Bellamy threatened.

Everyone slowly filed out of the apartment, Octavia silently and strangely being the first. Whereas Raven stuck around and made lunch plans with Clarke on Tuesday.

Once the apartment was cleared out, Clarke began cleaning up the beer bottles and shot glasses.

"Clarke," Bellamy said and she froze, her back to him. "The cleaning can wait until tomorrow."

Clarke dropped the bottles in the garbage can and sighed. "I don't know, Bellamy."

"I don't believe that."

"You're my best friend," she breathed, taking a seat on the armrest of the couch exposing the pale skin at her lower back between her black skirt and blue tank top.

"And you're my best friend. Clarke, I wouldn't have kissed you if I knew you were going to push me away. I can't lose you again."

He knew she closed her eyes at that. He knew why she left after finals last year, he doesn't blame her for leaving, he just wished she'd have called or texted. But it brought him Gina for those three fleeting months. He needed Gina, she made him smart and he got some ambition, a drive to be a better man. He took his time sorting out his feelings for Clarke and what she exactly meant to him before he acted on a moment's fleeting feeling.

That brought him to yesterday where he woke up with a clear sense of meaning and purpose. He loved Clarke, she's everything to him. He'd be lost without her.

"You had Gina," she said, knowing it'd sting.

"Eventually. It wasn't like I found her the day you left. This isn't about Gina or last summer, it's about you and me right now."

"What if I really don't know? I don't have a stellar track record."

"Screw Octavia. This is up to you."

"And you," she whispered.

"I'm here, I crossed the line, I can't turn back. You can walk away, you can give me a real chance, or… It could be just sex."

Clarke spun around with a stern grimace, "You'd do that?"

"If it keeps you in my life, yes."

Clarke nodded, Bellamy watched the wheels turn behind her blue eyes as she thought each option out.

Bellamy was about to sit down when Clarke took a step towards him and he immediately perked up.

"Could you—can we try and if I change my mind, we'll still be best friends?"

"Of course, whatever you want."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Bellamy smiled but still needed to confirm the meaning before doing what he's dying to do.

"Dear God, Bellamy. Yes, before I change my mind."

Bellamy was frozen. Did Clarke just agree to sex with him? He managed to step forward and close the gap between them. He has to be sure. He took her face in his hands and studied her, he needs to remember this moment with her.

"Since when were you so sentimental?"

"Since this might not happen again," he whispered, pressing his lips against Clarke's. He let her get used to the slow movements before taking her bottom lip between his teeth, sucking it roughly into his mouth.

He let one of his hands drift down to her waist, pulling her body flush against his. He wanted to take it slow, it's Clarke, she deserves the world. But she can end this at any time.