Heey guys, Here's another one. This is speciallly Romantic for the Finchel lovers out there. I loved writing it and I hope you enjoy reading it. So on with it...
Happy Readings :)
Jane !
Chapter 4
The thing about apologies is that before, when you laid your heart in the line for that special someone you never really realized the risks your were captivating, and that giving that person the autonomy to reach in and take your heart might have been the biggest and most reckless mistake of your life. Because certainly, no enemy could hurt you more than the person that you presented yourself to. So when they mess up and shatter everything you believed to be perfect you become cold and those blissful feelings become the pain of remembering a once fortunate past. but then that person decides to apologize, even after all the damage they've done, and you realize that yes, they might have changed. but there is the doubt, because it could happen again couldn't it? so you end up not knowing what to do. because apologies could very well be another chance for them to reach out and rip you in half again. You will always have one foot in and one foot out, never too sure, always afraid to make the same mistakes. but could anyone live like that? yes, that's the thing about apologies, they can be dangerous because they could break you but at the same time give you the opportunity to heal and start over. but sometimes when you're too broken you just don't know whether or not to take the risk.
"Finn are you ready to perform your song?"
"Yeah I am. Um..I want to dedicate this to someone especial. and listen to the words, I mean all of it" My heart went into frenzy mode. did he mean me? no. dont be silly, it could be his girlfriend right? I guess we'll have to find out.
Puck took his guitar and joined Finn in the center of the room, both sitting in stools. Suddenly a very familiar melody hit the air, Finn fixed his eyes on mine and began singing.
Oh I had alot to say
Was thinking on my time away
I miss you and things weren't the same
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when i see you cry it makes me wanna die.
I'm sorry i'm bad, i'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things i said to you
And i know i can't take it back
I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And i just wanted to say i'm sorry.
This time i think i'm to blame
It's harder to get through the days
We get older and blame turns to shame
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when i see you cry it makes me wanna die.
I'm sorry i'm bad, i'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things i said to you
And i know i can't take it back
I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And i just wanted to say i'm sorry.
Every single day i think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried
It's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah Sorry!
I'm sorry i'm bad, i'm sorry you're blue
I'm sorry about all the things i said to you
And i know i can't take it back
I love how you kiss, i love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And i just wanted to say i'm sorry.
I'm sorry baby.
I'm sorry baby.
I'm sorry.
by the time they were finished my heart had done numerous acrobatics. He was apologizing, that song was for me. but the lyrics were so..intimate. not something someone would sing to anyone unless apologizing to his girlfriend. a girlfriend that I could feel burning holes in to my back right now.
"That was a great song Finn, you nailed it!"
"Thanks " he still didnt stop looking at me. god, I shouldn't be feeling nervous. it was just Finn.
After everyone was dismissed I subtly picked up all of my things and began walking to my locker but became to a sudden halt when I felt a hand hold me back.
"Rach, did you like the song? you know it was for you." of course I do.
My heart should not be having a theatrical response right now.
"It was a beautiful song and very well performed. but Look...its just not right Finn, you have a girlfriend. and as much as I loath her you shouldnt be saying those things directed at me in a song in front of everyone" even though I loved every minute of it.
"Forget about anything else, forget about the words, just think about the main idea Rach. your forgiveness. when I said I was going to work hard for it I meant it. Don't say anything right now. Very soon you'll know exactly how much I mean it." and then he walked away.
what? what was that about? you'll know exactly how much I mean it?
I decided to ignore Finn's mystery for now or else it would eat up my brain, instead I focused on reaching my car to get home. It had been another one of those eventful days, those that have been happening alot lately may I add. What's with Finn serenading to me in Glee? I know me, I feel thrilled and the pull i had towards him is awfully stronger now. But every time I try to think about forgiving him and getting over whatever happened, there's always that part of my brain that previously decided to neglect how much he hurt me that would resurface, bringing back many reasons to why it would be better to keep things this way.
Sighing, I realized I was already in front of my house. getting out of the car, I still couldn't help but wonder what Finn was talking about. As I walked to the front porch, I could see different colors shinning from the door. When I finally reached it, there was a note and a rose next to it.
Do you know just how special you are,
How you effortlessly light up a room,
That you sweep into a person's life
And subtly replace all the gloom.
When was the last time someone said they loved you
Cause you should hear it every day
And just in case you didn't know this,
Let me be the first to say...
Finn. he had done this. oh my god.
Very intrigued, I opened the door to find another one of those notes laying there, along with another rose. and upon looking up further I saw a trail going up the stairs to my room. My heart was ready to leap out of my throat. he is doing this for me. and already I could feel the tears tingling from the back of my eyes.
Curiosity taking the best of me I began looking at the notes.
You're beautiful
In a way that words cannot express
walking further along the trail I found yet another rose along with another note.
You're beautiful
Cause you're nothing like the rest
I had long given up on not crying by now. Nobody ever did any type of romantic gesture like this to me.
The following note read-
You're beautiful
And so are all the things you do
You're beautiful
So please just keep on being you.
I had four roses already and my face could very well be compared to a water fountain. hormones.
Following the trail I picked up the next one realizing that the following notes were in another color.
I love your laugh
and the way you use stars under your name.
Going up the stais I picked up another one that was stuck on the step.
Your voice is my favorite sound in the world.
and I love when your brown eyes look up to mine like nobody else's does.
I cant believe this is happening. Finn was never the type of guy to do romantic gestures and when he told me he'd apologize I never knew how serious he was taking it.
I love how you used to sing to me on the phone
before I went to sleep and I would always
dream of you and your smile.
I smiled widely at this one. Finn always had trouble sleeping and he would always ask me to sing to him over the phone, he'd always end up falling asleep.
I love how I instantly knew I loved you
right the first time I kissed you.
Oh god. I know Im stepping in dangerous terriotaty letting myself enjoy this and slowly opening my heart to Finn again, but i cant help it. What I'm feeling right now is beyond what words can describe. The last one I saw was stuck to my door.
I love everything about you.
and I always will.
I'm sorry for everything I've done.
but you should really know that
you're beautiful in every single way.
and I'll love you until the last rose you find dies.
I opened the door to find a Plastic rose laying in my bed. It is very cliche, but it was beautiful. Finn had just told me he'd always love me, and suddenly all those bitter feelings were delicately dissolving into love. Suddenly the room was engulfed with Finn's voice and there he was standing at the door.
Highway run into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round you're on my mind
He winked at me, encouraging me to start singing my part.
Restless hearts sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love along the wire
Our voices blended together perfectly, causing a breathtaking melody to echo through the room.
They say that the road
ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line it's been you and me
And loving a music man
ain't always what it's supposed to be
so many memories were flooding through my brain at this very second but at the same time all I could see was him. only him.
Oh boy you stand by me
I'm forever yours faithfully
Circus life under the big top world
We all need the clowns to make us smile
ooooh through space and time (through space and time)
Always another show wondering where I am lost without you
And being a part ain't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you
Oh girl you stand by me
I'm forever yours faithfully
Ooooh faithfully
faithfully ... I'm still yours
Oooooh I'm still yours
Oooh... I'm still yours
This was absolutely the most beautiful closure for the most beautiful moment.
Faithfully.
We had been laying in my bad for about an hour now, both just enjoying each other's presence. I was too afraid to speak, to afraid to break the splendor of what he had done. Too afraid to think about what all of this meant for him and for me, for our future even. Its the type of moment where you just say "to hell with everything" and you enjoy it thoroughly.
"Finn?"
"Hmm?"
"That was amazing. I- I dont know what to say." he turned to face me then.
"Say that you forgive me, because I really am sorry Rachel. and it might have been stupid to do this thinking you'd forgive me but I had to take a chance I couldnt just sit around waiting for you to just walk alway from me forever. you mean too much to me Rach"
"I forgive you"
"I know that- what?" he looked bewildered.
"I forgive you"
"Are you serious?
"Very. what you did was amazing, you spend the time putting all of it together. And now i can see you made a mistake, but you regret it. so I forgive you."
"Have I told you how amazing you are?" I smiled.
"I don't remeber you mentioning it" he chuckled.
"I guess I'll have to post notes in your house everyday then. Because you have to always know how amazing, beautiful, selfless and talented you are. I'm always going to be here to remind you of that."
"Finn...but..Like i said before, as much as my feelings for you are strong, I wouldnt do this to anyone else again. what about Quinn?"
"I talked to her yesterday. She isn't my girlfriend anymore. Look rach, dont worry about her and dont feel bad either, she didnt care about me, all she cared about was to win that title. She already has another guy in her wing"
"You broke up yesterday. that was fast..."
"Like i said, she didnt care about me. But you...you always made sure to tell me that i was capable of things Rach and you believed in me. and I threw that away-
"Let's not talk about the past anymore" and then I kissed him. I kissed him.
The truth is I already forgave Finn a long time ago, right when I saw that he had truly regretted what he had done. But I was afraid that I was just going to throw myself in all of the pain again so I pulled back. but now, this...Its better to live a life with the person you love and sometiemes have ups and downs than choose safely, living without love but at the same time not living at all. I had already made my decision.
His hand travelled to the bump in my stomach and he stopped there.
"Wow, I didnt realise before how much your stomach grew Rach. It's so strange but at the same time awesome to know our kid is growing there y'know?"
"Yes I know what you mean. Most of the time I can feel movements inside my stomach, the doctor said it was normal for woman to feel it like that. Its strange feeling someone there, but its beautiful"
"That's not fair, when do i get to feel those stuff?" I laughed.
"I think it's going to take longer before the baby has enough strength to kick Finn" he pouted.
"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?" he asked.
"I dont know, I think it's a boy. what would you like?"
"Either way is fine with me, we'll love it the same. But having a girl would sure mean kicking boys asses in the future"
"Oh so you're going to be one of those over protective fathers?"
"If she comes with the beauty of her mother, Shit rach...I'll need the army to escort her to school so there wont be boys all over her"
"Are you trying to lure me in with your charms and words Hudson?"
"Is it working?"
"Might be"
"Good"
Yes, the other thing about apologies is that when they work they give you what you had and more.
Revieeew? :)
thankyouuu awesome readers!
uploading again pretty soon.
Jane !
