Part 3: "The Sailor Senshi In Trouble!"


"Welcome to my parlor."
-The spider, to the fly.

"HA HA HA HA HA!" cackled Jadeite. He was now dressed in the uniform of a postal worker, carrying a bag of mail. "Nothing is more mundane to humans than the phenomenon they call 'junk mail.' By mass-mailing every household in the world with little orange envelopes, I can gain access to millions of households. The smiling picture of an old man claiming that they may already be winners will gain their trust, and as they lick the stamps to qualify for entry in this fraudulent sweepstakes, they will surrender their energy to the Dark Kingdom. This plan can't fail! Queen Beryl will be very pleased."

"Excuse me!" called a voice from behind the Dark Kingdom general. Its origin was from a girl in a stylized sailor suit. She was racing in his direction at break-neck speed.

"AAAAAAAUUUUGH!" screamed the postal impostor.

The immediate result of his refusal to move out of the way was a collision. Sailor Roll tumbled to the sidewalk, as did the robocat Tango, who was riding in the bicycle's basket. Beat, the robobird, stopped in mid-flight to survey the damage from the letter-filled air.

Jadeite sat up and spat out an entry form that had lodged itself in his mouth. "Augh! I can taste adhesive! I... I swallowed an entry stamp!"

"I'm sorry, sir," apologized Roll. "I'm in quite a hurry." She quickly loaded Tango into the basket of her bike and then the robot girl rode off as fast as her legs would take her. Beat flew close behind.

Jadeite paid her no mind. Instead, he wretched. "Augh! I can... feel my energy... slipping away... being drained... ugh... Queen Beryl... won't be pleased..."

*** *** ***

It was not long before Sailor Roll reached the junk yard on the east side of town. She parked her bike and stood at the entrance. Its wooden fence bordered a metal maze of junk heaps. There was no telling what awaited her inside.

"Meow," said Tango, pawing at a piece of paper tacked to the fence. Roll took it and read.

Megaman-
Your sailor friends are inside. If you want them back, you must find me and beat me.
Ha ha ha!
-Bass

"Come on!" said Sailor Roll. "We're going in!" With that, she rushed inside, followed by Tango and Beat.

The mechanized trio followed dead-end paths and raced down straight-aways, trying to make their way to the heart of the maze, where Bass held the Sailor Senshi captive.

"Hey!" called a voice from around a corner. Roll stopped. A yellow figure stepped out from around the corner. It was Topman. "You're not Megaman. You're Roll!" "Sorry to disappoint you," she said defiantly. She stood with her legs apart and her hands on her hips, trying to look heroic. She decided that she was going to at least act absolutely fearless. Inside, she was scared out of her wits. If Topman was lying in wait, she may have to face an army of Robot Masters. It's quite a difficult task, especially for a robot without weapons.

"Um..." stammered Topman. "You're... dressed differently than usual. Is that... um... a new dress? It's short."

Sailor Roll puzzled for a moment at his comment. Was he turning red now? He was! She saw exactly how she would get past him.

"So, Toppy," she said, inching towards him. "It is true that you can spin around really, really fast?"

"Hee hee!" he chuckled to himself. "She called me 'Toppy!'" He pushed his shoulders back and stood up straight. "Of course I can," he declared boldly. "I am the master of the Top Spin, after all."

Sailor Roll batted her eyelashes and drew little circles in his chestplate with her finger. "Would you show me, Toppy? Pweeeease?"

Topman turned redder and grinned a stupid grin. "Heh, of course will! Stand back!" Sailor Roll stepped back and Topman threw his arms to one side. "TOP SPIIIIIIN!" Soon Topman was a yellow tornado and Sailor Roll ran off to continue her quest. "So, is this fast enough for you?"

*** *** ***

Bass was growing impatient with his captives. "For the last time, don't play dumb with me! What did Dr. Light design you for?"

"Well, I don't think Sailor Moon is playing," remarked Sailor Mars.

"Rei, why do you always have to be so mean to me?" asked Sailor Moon. "WAAAAAH!"

Bass frowned. Sailor Mercury frowned. Mars told Moon to quit crying. Bass grew very annoyed. The Sailor Senshi were each chained to a metal pole firmly rooted in the ground. He walked to the leftmost pole and grabbed Sailor Mercury by the collar. "What were you designed for?"

"I wasn't designed by anyone," said Mercury. "I don't even know any Dr. Light. I'm not a robot!"

"Liar!" Bass countered. "Why were you dressed the same as Roll, then? Don't tell me that was coincidence!"

"She's just a girl," Mercury said. "We rescued her from you yesterday. She's probably just acting out some kind of hero worship."

"'Just a girl'?" repeated Bass. "She was designed by Dr. Light, the same robot designer who created Megaman. I live to destroy his creations!"

Sailor Mercury's mind raced back to the previous day, when she reassured the sobbing girl: "You're so brave! You went up against Bass and you weren't even scared of him!"

Roll's watery eyes brightened and she smiled widely. "Really? Thanks, whoever you are!"

"She is... a robot?" Mercury asked, incredulous.

"You catch on quick," commended Bass. "I'm going to smash her right after I smash Megaman."

"You can't!"

"I will, and then I'll smash you."

*** *** ***

"GUAH!" grunted Gutsman, lifting a massive pile of garbage high above his head. "Now yer gonna regret commin' here, ya little runt!"

"It's Gutsman!" shrieked Sailor Roll.

"Hey! Yer not Megaman! I was hopin' fer a challenge," Gutsman lamented.

"Oh, well," said Sailor Roll, "You'll have to be stronger than that to beat my brother. He can lift that in his sleep!"

"Really?" Gutsman asked. "Well, so can I!" He dropped the pile of garbage and went to pick up a pile of garbage twice as large. "I gots da power of da Power Arm, an' dere ain't nobody stronger dan me!"

Sailor Roll feigned a yawn. "Megaman can lift that with one arm."

"So can I!" Gutsman retorted, and then demonstrated.

"I still think Megaman's much stronger than you."

"What?! I'm ten times stronger dan dat wimp. Watch and I'll shows ya." Gutsman dropped his second pile of garbage and picked up a third. It was twice the size of the second.

"That is pretty strong," Roll conceded. "But, can you pick up all three at once?"

"I got me da Power Arm! I'm the da strongest robot ever, and I'll shows ya!" He dropped the third pile of garbage on the second, then picked op the first pile and added it, too. Then, in an awesome display of might, he grunted loudly and lifted it above his head. "S... See?"

Soon, Gutsman's shoulder joints began grinding and straining. His feet sank a few inches into the Earth, and then his arms began to give. Soon, the Robot Master was buried under a mound of junk.

"See ya!" said Roll, rushing off to the rest of the maze. Tango was at her heels and Beat followed close behind.

*** *** ***

"Tell me!" Bass exclaimed. "Why were you created? Was it to fight me? Is that why you kept interfering when I was trying to draw Megaman out of hiding?"

"We keep telling you, we're not robots!" said Sailor Mars, quite loudly.

"Fine then," said Bass. "If you won't talk, then you will be destroyed right after I destroy my arch-enemy!"

*** *** ***

"We're getting close," Sailor Roll assured her robotic pets. "Soon, we'll be able to rescue Sailor Mercury and her friends."

"Arr!" growled Diveman, who stepped out in front of the group. "Why do ye call ye'selves sailors if ye've ne'er been out to sea, arr?"

"Doesn't matter," said Quickman, who spoke quite quickly. It was as if he appeared out of nowhere behind Sailor Roll and her friends. "She won't be around much longer."

"Arr! Tonight ye'll sleep in Davy Jones' locker, arr!"

"Oh, dear," said Sailor Roll.