S. Meyer owns Twilight.
The Full-Frontal Honeymoon
Chapter Four: Disagreements and Distractions
BPOV
Eventually Edward removed his hand and began to trace gentle circles across my hips bones. My breathing was uneven and heavy for several moments, but eventually returned to normal. We laid there in silence for a while just listening to the waves and enjoying the closeness of each other.
After some time, Edward leaned down to me and placed a light kiss on my forward. "What are you thinking?" he asked.
"Um, do you really need to ask that?" I responded.
He chuckled, "Well, I mean technically yes, I have to ask. But I supposed I could use my imagination…" We smiled at each other. I was nearly lost in the sparkle of his eyes. Staring into them was even better than looking up into this beautiful sky. I drew my arm up and began to caress his chest. He brought his hand to mine and held my hand still to his chest. He broke his gaze with me and looked off into the distance.
"Edward?" I could sense a change in him. A change I didn't think I would like.
"Bella, I…um. You seem to…ugh." He let out a sigh of frustration and ran his hand through his hair. I knew it must frustrate him to be so tongue-tied. It was so rare. I wasn't sure where he was going with this, so I figured I had better intervene.
"Edward, I think what you mean to say is…I seem happy, I seem ecstatic, I seem like I might burst at the seems, because that was so amazing. Your touch is beyond what I ever conjured up in my imagination…just like every other moment with you. And now, that I've recovered I think we should-"
I was cut off. His lips were on mine kissing me hungrily. I could feel the desire in me grow as he deepened the kiss, licking my bottom lip and then sucking on it. I placed my hands behind his neck to pull him closer to me. I used the leverage to twist onto my side so that we were facing each other in the sand. He placed his free arm around my waist and slid me up against him. We both let out low moans as I pushed myself in closer, grinding my belly into his length.
He broke the kiss shortly after, gasping for air he didn't need. I began to trace my fingernails up and down his arm and back. He sighed in delight and began to kiss my jaw line and neck.
I was sure that whatever had seemed to be bothering Edward had subsided and that he was once again committed to consummating our marriage. I pushed my body away from him slightly so that I could move my hand in between us. I wanted to touch him.
Edward stopped his moments and his kisses when he felt me do this. He pushed his body farther from mine, to give me better access no doubt.
Unfortunately, I was mistaken. Too quickly, he shifted position and was now lying on his stomach cutting off all access to my greedy hand.
I was still on my side and moved closer to him. I placed a chaste kiss on his back, and laid my head down on his shoulder. I began to caress his back, hoping to calm whatever concerns or nerves he was feeling.
I waited for him to speak. He didn't.
Edward was usually very good about realizing that although minutes, hours and days seemed like nothing in time for immortal vampires that it could seem like eternity for an impatient human with a real life span. I couldn't wait any longer.
"Edward you have to talk to me." Silence. I sighed. I was trying to be understanding, but this was getting ridiculous.
"Edward, really, come on. You're confusing me. What's wrong? I thought…" I could tell by the sound of my own voice that I wasn't hiding my frustration very well. I rolled off of him and on to my back. I couldn't believe this. How could I have just gone from a moment of pure ecstasy to this? Ugh.
After another extended silence, I heard Edward give his own sigh of frustration. He raised his head, which had been resting in his hands, and looked as me. I smiled back at him. He turned back onto his side and slid back up to me. He placed a cool palm on my stomach and softly kissed the skin between my breasts. Hmm, now we were getting somewhere again.
"So, you really enjoyed it when I touched you?" Edward asked as he continued to place kisses on my breasts and neck. I could feel the desire in me rising again.
"Of course. I'm sure it was obvious. I've never felt anything so amazing."
His hand on my stomach began to move across my skin. He traced lines down my thighs moving closer and closer to my heat with each stroke.
His hand passed over my mound; I arched my back and moaned. He took a nipple into his mouth and tugged on it with his lip-covered teeth just as he slid a finger inside of me. I bucked against him. He quickly set a pace with his finger, and when he brought thumb up and pressed it into my clit a small scream escaped my lips.
I was losing control again. I could feel my bodying begin overcome with ecstasy. I was once again close to the edge.
"Uh, Edward…I, oh, please…" his mouth released the nipple it had been teasing and clamped down on my mouth.
"Shh, Bella."
"No, wait. Stop." As soon as he heard the words, Edward pushed himself away from me and turned to stone. His eyes began to frantically search my body to see where he had hurt me.
"No, Edward…don't…worry…I'm…fine," I barely got out the words I was so breathless. My body was still on fire and had immediately begun to miss his intimate touch as soon as it was gone.
"If you're fine, then why did you stop me? I thought you just told me how much you liked my touch?" Edward asked. His voice had of tone of mostly concern, but there was something else there. Frustration, possibly? No, he couldn't be frustrated with me!
"Edward, you can feel the way my body reacts to you. I'm shocked that I could stop you."
"Then why did you?"
"Because if I let you continue to touch me like that and bring me to…" I could feel my cheeks redden. "Well, I'm human and I'm afraid I'll get worn out before we can actually…and I definitely don't want to be tired for that." I'm sure what could only be described as a "shit eating grin" spread across my face. Edward smiled back at me, but it was tight and did not reach his eyes.
"I see." Well, that wasn't exactly the response that I hoped for. I let out another frustrated sigh, and placed an arm across my eyes. Why was he still doubting my enjoyment? I knew he could read my emotions.
"Bella, love. I'm sorry," he said as he gently removed my arm from my face. He left a trail of cool kiss down it and then placed it at my side. "I know I'm being ridiculous. Remember, I've never done this before either. I'm nervous, too. I want to do this right."
He began to caress my chest and stomach, up and down, with a cool fingertip. I sighed, "Edward, we've been through this. And you can see…feel what you do to me. Stop over thinking, relax."
"I'm trying. I promise." He leaned down and kissed me. It was hesitant at first, but gradually became more intense. I knew he loved and wanted me. He just needed to stop being so worried. He hadn't broken me yet and he definitely knew how to touch me.
He continued to caress me moving his hand a bit lower on each stroke. Edward began a trail of kisses along my jaw before pausing at my ear. He began whispering sweet words and promises of love, and the cool air of his breath made me shiver and heat up all at the same time.
"Bella," he whispered, "you're a goddess. In all my years, I've never seen anything so beautiful. Your body…your sent…mmhmm. If I wasn't touch your right now…" his hand had once again moved to my center and he began to lightly push my legs open and caress my folds. I moaned. "I wouldn't believe you could be real," he continued. "I want to touch and caress every place on your body…" His fingers began pumping into and out of me. I whimpered. "I love the noises you make when I touch you. They excite me, because I know I'm pleasing you. Moan for me, Bella, please." He began to move his fingers faster and faster. I moaned again, losing myself in his touch.
And then I stopped. I realized what he was doing.
Edward sensed the change in my body. I wasn't reacting to him any longer.
"Bella…relax. Let yourself go…I love you." He continued his movements eager for my response. I remained still. He brought his mouth back to mine kisses me deeply; I still did not respond.
"Edward," I said against his lips. "Why are you trying to avoid having sex with me?" At this, his movements stopped and he removed his fingers.
He looked down into my eyes for a moment. I couldn't read his. "What? Bella, I thought you liked-" I cut him off.
"Yeah, yeah. I heard this already. I DO like it when you touch me. But I want to feel you inside of me!" Had that really just come out of my mouth? I blushed even though the anger was building inside of me. "I can tell what you're doing! You are trying to distract me." I let the anger take me. I knew if I wasn't angry that I would be emotional, and I didn't want to cry.
"Bella, please don't get mad." I let out what could only be described as a small growl in response. "Ok, you're mad. I just want you to be happy and feel pleasure and love. I won't lie to you. You're right, I was trying to distract you."
"Don't you realize Edward that I want the same thing for you? I want you to feel pleasure and love. I want to touch you the way you touch me. Why won't you let me touch you?"
"I don't need those things, Bella. All that matters to me is that you are happy."
"What do you mean? Are you saying you don't want me to touch you?"
Edward let out a sigh, and looked down at the sand. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingertips. "There's a big difference between need and want. And what I want doesn't really matter," he whispered this so low that I had to strain to hear him.
I could tell he was hurting, but I was too angry to comfort him at the moment. "So, what are you saying? You promised that we would try. And now you are refusing me?"
"Bella, please, we can wait until you're changed…when it's safe. And for now, I can touch and caress you…" He raised his hand to my belly again, barely touching it as he began his caress. He gave me a crooked smile; he was not playing fair. "…I can make you lose control with just my hand. Can't that be enough?"
I pushed his hand off of me. "No," was all I could get out. I was fuming! How could he be doing this to me? To us?
"Bella, love. Please, try and think rationally about this."
"No, no, no," my voice rose with each word. "Stop talking to me like a child. I am your wife! You're ready and willing wife, Edward! I can't believe this! You are always so concerned about me missing out on stupid human experiences that I don't even care about, but you want give me the only one that I want?" I could see his face fall at my words, but I didn't stop. "This is ridiculous. How many wives do think have to beg their husband's on THEIR WEDDING NIGHT to have sex with them? I might be the first!"
The look on Edward's face was a mix of shock and horror. "Bella, I thought if I could make you feel-"
"Stop! I don't want to hear anymore. You asked if this could be enough. No, Edward, it is NOT enough."
With that, I rose and began stalking away from him back to the house. The tears began to fall down my cheeks before I had taken two steps. I began to move more quickly, just short of a run.
I expected Edward to catch up with me quickly. I expected him to run to me, take me into his arms and make love to me right there in the sand.
He did not.
I couldn't bear to look back at the beach as I walked into the house.
A/N: So, this has taken a turn that I didn't even really expect. Well, see where it goes…
Reviews equal Edward's sexy apologizes.
