I want to thank everyone on Tumblr for posting awesome and amazing motivating pictures tonight to help me get into a good space to write this chapter. I was not having a very good day and it only got much worse, even as I'm typing this note up I'm still a bit down but I believe I've channeled all my inner glee at seeing shirtless Allen Leech and amazing Modern Dance photo shoots that I believe this chapter is really great. But don't mind me….read it!

Chapter 4: Barriers

Brown and green and grey. Just like a tree goddess. He had to stop it. He had to focus on something other than her pert, delicious….ok. That's enough. It was time to get his head in the game. So she was attractive, and kind and intriguing and…and his employer essentially. Well if he was being technical, it was her father. But technical was dangerous, because it left all kinds of loopholes that Thomas would have his balls for when he discovered what his subconscious mind was plotting. When did a mind become subconscious versus conscious? Because he was aware of it now did that make it conscious? Ah, Jesus fecking Christ, Tom! Put your dick away already, the girl is speaking to you!

Being shaken out of his inner dialogue, or monologue he supposed, Tom cleared his head and brought his attention to the object of his inner turmoil waiting to be let into the car. "I'm sorry milady, what did you say?" there, that was very formal, very appropriate, lines drawn very nicely.

"I was asking if I could call you Tom, instead of Mr. Branson if that's ok. You see, I would like us to become more…comfortable with each other if we could. It seems as though I'm going to be putting a lot of trust in you and Dr. Clarkson said that would be easier for me if I were to view you as a friend type person rather than an imposing bulky strange man. Not that you're not bulky, I would assume you're perfectly capable and can perform the aspects of the job, and I'm sure you're not a strange man, not that we aren't all a little strange. I'm just saying I would like this to be as un-awkward as possible." She finished in a rush of words and looked up from her gaze burning a hole in the car door handle. "And I've just made it even more awkward haven't I?" she giggled at the blank look on his face. He looked as if he didn't quite know how to respond to that. Sybil forgot her ability to render strangers speechless by being too blunt and too honest. It was good to feel like one's self again, especially after feeling so completely not for so long, she almost forgot what it was like to just be.

On second thought, maybe bringing up your therapist, your need for having a body guard, implying that said body guard is not buff enough to do his job and he may be a bit weird, wasn't the best way to begin this relationship. He did seem a nice sort of fellow. From his relaxed demeanor inside the house she could tell they would get on well. If he wasn't intimidated by the size of her home, her uppity staff, or her need for requiring his services, maybe a friend like him was what she needed right now. She could use a friend, one who was brand new and didn't view her like the fragile weak girl she was tired of being cast in, by her family, by her friends, even by herself. He was going to be accompanying her everywhere she went for the foreseeable future. And he was much younger than she had assumed a bodyguard hired by her father would be, so why not see things on the brighter side. God knows it was about time.

Putting his voice back into his throat and trying to steer the blood towards his brain and away from other, slowly enlarging parts of his anatomy, Tom processed everything she said. "Ehm…Not at all milady, I would like you to feel…comfortable around me, if that's how you want to put it. You're going to need to trust me; I can't do my job properly if you don't. Even if I'm not as tall or…how did you put it? Bulky as I should be?" he finished with a sly grin, meant to put her at ease. Her face broke into a dazzling smile and he felt like he'd made all her dreams come true. Fecking Hell.

"Well that would just be lovely. And please call me Sybil, Tom. I can't handle all that pomp and circumstance away from the house. At the studio I may be Miss Sybil to the children but I'd rather just be plain old Sybil everywhere else." She said, feeling more at ease already. This was going so well! She never thought she would feel so relaxed around a man again. After what happened, even being around the male staff could cause her anxiety, not the older men like Mr. Carson or Mr. Bates who were much too fatherly to cause any distress. However, Alfred who worked in the kitchens and William who worked with the horses lately made her aware of her smallness, her weakness. Maybe it was because they were much taller than she was, or wider shouldered, but she always felt that spike of panic before she had to remind herself of their kindness and their differences to Larry-caring, good with animals, polite, calm… This Tom Branson didn't bring out any of those trigger feelings like the rest of the men her age. She felt relaxed with him, could even joke with him, and shed only known him for a few minutes when she had known William almost all her life. She felt like herself again, and it was ever so good being her, she just had to remember this feeling for the next time she was feeling low.

"As you wish, Sybil. Where are we off to today? I assume the dance studio in town as that was listed in the file as one of the main reasons for my…services?" He said, trying to be as delicate as possible. He had to admit he was being more cautious than his usual self. He usually didn't think this much about what he was going to say to a girl, but he was in her employ, not some slag he picked up at the pub.

It was hard not to be overly aware of himself when everything about her screamed delicate strength. She seemed tough, sure of herself and unapologetically confident, but at the same time he could remember her at the top of the stairs, muttering to herself, her whole being sad and broken, as if her whole world was in disarray. She needed to be handled with care; he couldn't imagine anyone treating her with anything less. Sadly, the world was populated with bastards and it was better to not dwell on that today.

He had read her file and been briefed by Thomas on the specifics. She had just gotten out of a "bad" relationship. That word seemed so inadequate to describe the obvious pain she had been in, emotionally and mentally as far as he could tell. The file also made mention of a physical altercation that was brought to the court but dismissed somehow by this Mr. Grey's lawyer. Fact was though that Sybil had originally made some claims against him but wasn't present for the hearing allowing it to get pushed aside.

Looking at this wondrous creature before him, he couldn't imagine her lying about anything, let alone anything that would become that huge and destructive to a man's livelihood. A convicted charge like that could ruin someone with a career in politics on the horizon, which is what Thomas had said he was aiming to do and wanted this whole thing hushed up. Apparently, their fathers made some deal putting him out of the country and Sybil at home to heal and forget. When Tom first heard about this, he was passive about the whole thing. Sure, it's a bad situation but life was hard all around and if it wasn't proven in court than maybe, she was fibbing about the whole thing. Maybe she caught him messing around on the side and wanted to get him back. It sounded like something women like Edna would pull. But looking at Sybil now, he almost felt sick for the thoughts he had. Assuming someone was just playing the system and living out a television drama was not the first thoughts he should have had. He felt a little guilty looking at the girl before him. She was such pure goodness, it almost hurt to be near her, feeling like he might taint her, or ruin that beautiful light he was seeing shining right out of her. How could anyone want to hurt her? How would any man look on her and not want to just immediately give her the world without asking a thing in return. God help Mr. Larry Grey if he ever dared to harm her again, in any way. Tom found that now he took his job very seriously, and he would do anything she asked of him, and some things she wouldn't have to.

Climbing into the driver's seat of the car after pressing the keyless entry button Tom was surprisingly unsurprised when Sybil got into the front seat next to him. Never one for following conventions, like sitting in the back of a hired car when you are paying the driver to chauffer you around. Chuckling to himself Tom looked expectantly at Sybil. Reminding her of his earlier request of a destination for their day.

"Oh, yes of course, the studio. I'm sorry to say you may have a bit of a boring day ahead of you. I've got to run through some class syllabuses and come up with some new choreography for the class I'm teaching tomorrow, so I'm afraid it will be a day spent hearing the same four or five songs on repeat for the next oh…six hours?" She grinned impishly at him.

Oblivious to the effect she was having on Tom; Sybil plugged her I-pod into the auxiliary port next to the stereo display and switched on the song she was listening to while she raced down the stairs a few minutes earlier. This song would do well for a leaps combination across the floor, she thought as she gazed out the window, watching the trees lining her driving whoosh by and feeling light and free and able to breathe finally.

*the song Sybil is listening to is "I will wait" by Mumford and Sons. It really just makes you so happy! And it is very fitting. Trust me :)