Ep. 4: The Big Pirate Fight-Part 2

(Everything was pitch-black until it cuts to Nick, who was waking up.)

Nick: Huh?...What happened? The last thing I remembered was a giant green cannonball destroying the ship.

?: And let me say, you were lucky to survive that, matie.

(Nick noticed the strange voice sounded familiar, so he turned around and found a certain buccaneer who he's been concerned about lately.)

Nick: Jack Sparrow! You're okay!

Jack: You got that right! Even though they captured me, I'll still the toughest buccaneer on the seven seas!

Nick: They?

SpongeBob: Yeah, that giant cannonball that sunk us yesterday was sent by The Flying Dutchman. Maleficent sent him and a few members of The Organization to sink us to the bottom of Davy Jones' Locker. Luckily, we survived but we got captured and we're currently being imprisoned.

(Nick looked around and noticed the entire Society was in a jail cell but also realized something was off.)

Nick: Wait a minute...We're missing someone. Where's Candace?

Vanessa: She was calling out the pirates earlier...Which by the way, was hilarious...And was thrown into The Fly of Despair.

Squidward: As a person who's been through there, it's not pleasant experience at all.

Nick: So, how do we get outta here?

SpongeBob: There is one way, but it's...pretty bad.

Nick: Even worse than The Fly of Despair?

SpongeBob: Yeah.

(Nick did a cliche gulp of fear with a worried look on his face.)

Nick: What would that way be?

(SpongeBob slowly pointed to a room that lead to a live-action perfume department, with everyone showing expressions of utter horror with circles around their pupils, even the more cynical members like Mandy and Raven.)

Nick: The Perfume Department?! Are you crazy?!

SpongeBob: I know it's insane, but it's our only way out.

Nick: (sighs) Okay...Let's do it.

(Everyone got up with worried looks as they started walking towards the perfume department.)

Carl: I knew I should've brought my inhaler today.


(A montage played showing The Society running through the accursed perfume department while live-action/realistic hands sprayed them with perfume. SpongeBob ran as fast as he could, but then gagged when a hand sprayed perfume in his face. Nick ran as fast as his legs would carry him, but he, too, ended up getting sprayed in the face with perfume. Through a cloud of perfume Rarity galloped, only to end up choking and also getting the annoying smell in her nostrils. Danny tried holding his breath as he ran, but screamed when he took some perfume to his eyes. The Eds tried ducking but still got more perfume in their faces. Kim then had the solution to wear a gas mask, but a hand reached out to pull off the mask while the other hand sprayed perfume on her. Scooby and Shaggy were so frightened that they breathed in perfume through their mouths and choked on it. Crash Bandcioot then tried a desperate move by jumping over a perfume gust; it worked but he was intercepted by another spray of perfume. The exit was within reach as Hercules carried Beast and Simba with his two hands, Tarzan and Aladdin clinging onto his arms, Ariel holding onto his back, and Mulan and Quasimundo holding onto his waist, and the relief would come when humans would stop spraying everyone with perfume. The door to the other side opened as the Society fell to the floor, catching their breaths.)

Jack: I always hated going in there.

(The team then got up and walked towards the door of the captain's cabin. SpongeBob and Nick opened the door and found The Flying Dutchman, along with Davy Jones, The Pirate Captain of the Four Nations, Captain Hook, Ember McClain, Youngblood, Stickybeard, Blackbeard, John Silver, Scroop, and a crew of ghostly pirates were talking to a group of strange humanoid sea monsters.)

Nick: What are they doing?

SpongeBob: Looks like they're talking to a bunch of sea monsters.

(But as the Society were unaware, six familiar teenage pirates sneaked up behind them, all pulling out cutlasses. Back at with the Organization, The Flying Dutchman was making a deal with the sea monsters.)

Flying Dutchman: So, how much are ya willing to trade for the Society?

(The leader of the sea monsters pulled out a treasure chest filled with thousands of golden doubloons, with the pirates all growing wide smiles and dollar signs in their eyes.)

Captain Hook: We'll take it!

Sea Monster Leader: Great, now if you excuse us, we'll be getting our prisoners.

(As the sea monsters were walking to the captain's cabin, Scroop noticed something strange with the last sea monster. The sea monster was walking on his knees while his feet were being dragged and flapping around, as if that sea monster was just some person in a costume. Scroop gave off a suspicious glare. When the sea monsters made it to the captain's cabin, they were tackled by Jack Sparrow and Sora, who rose their cutlass and Keyblade.)

Jack: Alright, ya scurvy dogs! Time to send you back to the depths of Davy Jone's Locker from which you came!

Sea Monster Leader: Hold on, Jack! It's me!

(The sea monster took off his head, which was actually a mask, and revealed himself to be one of Jack's best crewmates, Will Turner.)

Sora: Will Turner!

Jack: Aye. Used the old disguise trick, huh Turner?

Will: You got that right, and the rest of the crew is here as well, along with new allies as well.

(The monsters took off their masks as well, revealing themselves to be Elizabeth Swann, Hector Barbossa, Tia Dalma, Gibbs, and the most surprising of all, The Sea Captain of Springfield amd Seamus.)

Elizabeth: We heard that you were in trouble, so we disguised ourselves as sea monsters, willing to trade a chest of treasure for you guys.

Nick: Sweet!

Sea Captain: What's up with those guys?

(The Sea Captain pointed to the six groms from "Stoked", who were tied up, all wearing pirate attire, and struggling to break free.)

Duncan: Oh, these clowns tried to pull a sneak attack on us but failed miserably.

Harold: Yeah, especially the pretty boy who's too obsessed with his hair.

Duncan: I know, right. The moment you tried to punch him, he got scared and started crying like a little baby!

Reef: Hey! I'll have you know that I'm a master of Reef-A-Tay!

Nick: Bitch, we all know that's a damn lie. And since you that as well, why you telling us this?

Reef: (hanging his head with a saddened look) Because I'm desperate for attention.


(Will and the others started to laugh from how pathetic that was until a giant glowing green head grabbed them, making a squeak noise like a squeak-toy. The hand pulled them all out and revealed that it was from The Flying Dutchman, who was pissed.)

Flying Dutchman: I should've now that you "sea monsters" we're fakes! Primarily because one of you had limpy arms and legs!

Seamus: Hey! You try walking around having peg-legs for legs and arms!

Ember: Not to mention that "treasure" you gave us was just those stupid chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil!

(Stickybeard picks up the treasure chest and walks off with a smile.)

Stickybeard: I'll be taking that.

(Everyone looked mildly surprised as Stickybeard sat down in a corner and started eating the chocolate coins. The Flying Dutchman eventually turned his attention back to Will and the rest of the pirates.)

Flying Dutchman: So Turner, you got any last words before I send you to Davy Jones' Locker?

(Will thought to himself for a moment with a lightbulb popping up above his head and did a devilish smile.)

Will: Would you like to listen to a sea shanty?

Flying Dutchman: Sure, I guess.

(Will pulled out a radio from behind his back, turned the volume to "Max", and turned it on. Suddenly, the song "You Are a Pirate" from LazyTown began to play. The Flying Dutchman began to cringe as his hair stood up, his beard started acting wild, circles formed around his pupils, and he started grating his teeth with a disgruntled frown. The ghostly pirate screamed as he dropped the hero pirates to cover both of his ears. Will turned off the radio as he and the others started making a mad dash towards a life-boat. The Dutchman turned around and saw the pirates trying to escape, with green fire growing in his eyes out of anger and started to surround him as well.)

Flying Dutchman: GET THEM!

(Suddenly, The Flying Dutchman was hit in the head by a book. The ghost pirate slowly turned to the captain's cabin, where he found The Society standing with pissed looks.)

Flying Dutchman: So, it looks like the land-lubbers want a fight, huh?

Davy Jones: Well then, let's send these scurvy dogs down to me Locker!

(The pirate all drawn their swords, guns, and other weapons while The Society pulled out their weapons. The two sides both did battle-cries and began charging towards each other. When the two teame collided, everything went black as sounds of screams, gunshots, and sword-slashing was heard.)


(It cuts to Nick, who was laying against a barrel, knocked out like earlier in the episode. He began to wake up, where he found SpongeBob steering The Flying Dutchman's ship and a huge bump on his head. The teen approached his spongey friend with a confused look.)

Nick: SpongeBob...What happened?

SpongeBob: We took down The Flying Dutchman and his goons. It took like about 15 minutes to beat them.

Nick: What about me? Did I get knocked out in battle?

(SpongeBob began to think to himself. A cutaway ensued as it showed the fight from earlier between The Society and The Flying Dutchman's crew. Nick was charging towards Davy Jones with The Ultimasword in his hands, but the 15-year old slipped on a puddle and was sent sliding all over the ship. Nick then noticed he was heading towards the mast, causing him to grow a worried look with circles forming around his pupils.)

Nick: Oh-no...

(Nick eventually crashed face-first into the mast, with the Hey-Arnold screen of flying stars appearing. The cutaway ended with SpongeBob having a slightly nervous smile.)

SpongeBob: Let's just say that.

Nick: So, where's The Flying Dutchman?

(Danny flew towards the duo, holding the Fenton Thermos in his hands.)

Danny: (pointing to the Fenton Thermos) In here!

Flying Dutchman: (from inside the Thermos) When I get outta this thing! I'm feeding every single one of you to the sharks!

Nick: Where's his crew?

(SpongeBob and Danny both pointed to the main deck, where the rest of the pirate crew we're all tied up. They all had grim looks on their faces as The Eds threw citrus fruits at them, laughing their asses off. Nick even chuckled as well.)

Nick: So, where are we going now?

(Suddenly, Jack Sparrow walked up to them.)

Jack: There's a tropical island not too far from here that has a warp-portal we can take back to The Safe House.

Nick: Sweet! It'll be nothing but smooth-sailing from here on out!

Jack: Not exactly, mate.

Nick: (confused) Why?

(The pirate captain pointed forward, where they were coming across a not-so-pleasant sight. It was a passage-way made from tall, sharp, jagged rocks, with dark-gray thunderclouds brewing above them.)

Nick: (sarcastically) Great...

SpongeBob: Steady as she goes, boys! Steady as she goes!

(As The Flying Dutchman's ship sailed into the dangerous passage, an enormous mysterious sea-creature followed the ship.)


(Everyone surrounded SpongeBob as their leader tried his best to navigate through the passage of jagged rocks as best as possible.)

Eduardo: (covering his eyes) I can't look! I can't look!

Eddy: You miss a lot that way, don't ya?

(But as The Society were focused on SpongeBob getting them to safety, an enormous tentacle slithered up behind them. The tentacle tapped SpongBob's head, who was unaware of the unknown creature behind him as he was too focused on the passage.)

SpongeBob: Now, Squidward. This is the tricky part...

(The tentacle tapped SpongeBob again, which began to annoy him a little.)

SpongeBob: Squidward, I'm trying to focus!

(The tentacle tapped one more time, causing SpongeBob to snap.)

SpongeBob: What?!

(The sponge's expression went from irritated to terrified as his jaw dropped, eyes widen, and circles formed around his pupils. It showed that Nick and the rest of The Society had the same expressions of horror SpongeBob had as well. It then cuts to what The Society were terrified, it was the infamous 80-ft, 9-tentacled, enormous, monstrous cephalopod known as The Kraken. As The Society were horrified, the Organization pirate all did smug smiles.)

Davy Jones: This gon' be real good!

(The Kraken let out a mighty roar that shook the ship, causing everyone to scatter. The entire Society was in massive panic, running all over the ship, flailing their arms, and screaming like maniacs. Shaggy was petrified out of fear as he just stood in the middle of this chaos, not moving a muscle, just shivering and muttering a bit. Scooby noticed that a tentacle was about to grab him, so he dashed over to Shaggy and picked up his slacker pal in the nick of time. Arthur Read and Buster Baxter ran for their lives from a tentacle until they were grabbed a tentacle, but luckily, Martin and Chris Kratt used their Crocodile Power Suits to bite the tentacle, freeing their anthropomorphic animal friends from the monster's grasp. Homer began dodging several slams from the tentacles. The tentacle barrage stopped for a moment, with Homer thinking he was safe.)

Homer: (arms in the air and cross-eyed) Woo-Hoo!

(Unfortunately, one of the Kraken's tentacles do crush him completely.)

Homer: (from under the tentacle) D'oh!

Nick: (looking down at the Ultimasword) Alright, Ultimasword! Do your thing!

(Nick held the Ultimasword up in the air and strangely enough, it turned into some kind of blaster gun, much to his surprise.)

SpongeBob: Hey, that's new!

Nick: You got that right! Let's test this baby out!

(Nick spotted several Society members in the grasp of the Kraken's tentacle. Nick did a smug smirk as he jumped into the air and landed on the net that led up to the crow's nest. Nick aimed at a tentacle that was about grab Milo Thatch and Kida, who were running away from it, and blasted it, causing the beast to screech out of pain. Nick began jumping around the ship, blasting each tentacles, which weaken the Kraken. After blasting the final tentacle, The Kraken was down. Nick jumped down from the crow's nest with a smug smile and an eyebrow raised, and blew off some smoke from the Ultimasword.)

Nick: Looks like I made some fried calamari!

(Nick then grew a wide derpish grin as he looked around to see if anyone found that joke funny, no one did as they all have off grim glares from how bad it was. Squidward then slowly approached Nick and delivered a bitch-slap to the face, knocking the teen out-cold.)


( Half-an-hour later, The Society made it to the tropical island that had the warp-portal that would lead them back to The Safe House. The Flying Dutchman, along with the rest of his crew, were all tied up to the Kraken. Superman picked the giant cephalopod using his super strength, spun them around like a discus, and threw them, sending the pirates flying far across the ocean, screaming.)

Flying Dutchman: I'LL GET YOU ALL FOR THHHHHIIIIIIISSSSSS!

(The pirates disappeared into the distance as a twinkle in the sky appeared.)

Squidward: Smell ya later, ya ol' scruvy-toothed, rum-drinking, gun-shooting sea rats!

(After Squidward yelled that out, he walked through the warp-portal, with everyone else following as well. As members of the Society began entering the portal, SpongeBob turned around and noticed that Nick was looking over the ocean with a worried look.)

SpongeBob: Hey Nick, what's wrong?

Nick: Oh, it's just that...It's been about a month since I joined The Society and we've still haven't found my friends or family. Do you think...I might not see them again?

SpongeBob: Don't be like that, Nick! I'm pretty sure we'll find them soon. Besides, you were worried about Jack a month ago and look, we found and rescued him. So that's definitely a big chance that your friends are out there!

(Nick began to smile a little.)

Nick: You know what, you're right. Maybe we will find my friends and family eventually.

SpongeBob: That the spirit! Now let's go home.

(As the duo were about walk through the portal, they noticed Phineas and Ferb were about to do something.)

Nick: (confused) What aren't Phineas and Ferb coming?

SpongeBob: Don't worry. They're just doing something real quick.

(Ferb pulled out the Fly of Despair, which he stole from The Flying Dutchman earlier, out of his pocket. Phineas pulled down the zipper, with several damned souls flying out and blood-curling screams being heard. Ferb stuck his hand into the fly and pulled out Candace, who was curled up in the fetal position, her eyes were widen and pupils were shrunked, completely pale white, including skin, hair, and clothes, and was shivering. She was without a doubt traumatized by the Fly of Despair as her younger step-brothers had to carry her to the warp-portal. Nick and SpongeBob both shook their heads, feeling bad for Candace.)

Nick: Well someone's gonna be spending the next 10 years in physiological therapy.

SpongeBob: You got the right.

(The duo were last ones to walked through the warp-portal. But once they left the island, a mysterious hooded figure appeared just a few feet away from the portal.)

?: Don't worry, Dork-King. You'll be seeing your friends sooner than expect!

(The hooded figure revealed an evil grin and held a flaming blue sword in his hands, showing that there's a new fella in town that wants Nick's hide, and even seems to know him as well.)

The End