Making It Work

Chapter 4 - Secrets Don't Make Friends

By the time he had gotten within the Lima city limits, Sam felt better and better about the realization he had made about Rory. In fact, he felt so excited that he could barely stay in his seat and all he wanted to do was call the guy and spill his guts. As his excitement grew, he kept reaching for his phone, then reluctantly stopping himself. He knew Rory wanted to go an entire day without talking and he was trying his best to honor that.

Why the hell is it that every time I'm in love with someone I'm not allowed to actually talk to them? This is so unfair!

Maybe it'd be okay if I just called him and told him I felt the same way and then hung up. Oh, or I could just ask Brittany to tell him, but not actually talk to him myself...No, that's still cheating. He said he wanted to just think for the rest of the day; I have to respect that. Besides, I want to see his face when I tell him.

Sam consoled himself with thoughts of how Rory was going to look when he told him. He suspected there would be lots of heart-stopping smiles coming his way pretty soon. Sam could do this. He knew that if he could go a week without talking to Mercedes he could get through the rest of the night without talking to Rory.

As soon as Sam pulled into the Hudson-Hummel driveway, before he even got out of his car, he called his parents to let them know that he was home and to tell them the news that he had figured out his feelings for Rory. They both took turns on the phone congratulating him and told him to let them know how everything went. As Sam was getting out of the car, Finn came walking out of the house.

"Sam, hey," Finn said as he strolled up to his friend. "You just get back?"

"Hey Finn, Yep, I did. Hey guess what?" Sam asked, already grinning from ear to ear.

"What?" Finn asked, smiling back. Whatever it was it had to be good news. Finn liked good news.

"I'm in love wit-" Sam stopped abruptly remembering the way Rory had been so secretive about everything. Sam suspected he wouldn't be ready for their friends to know yet, and really it was something he and Rory should tell them together, after they'd had a chance to talk to each other first.

"In love with?" Finn prompted him, still smiling. He was just glad Sam had apparently gotten over Mercedes.

"Cool Ranch Doritos," Sam finished, supplying the first thing that popped into his head.

"Yeah, I know, dude. You told me last year." Finn was kind of disappointed that that had been the extent of the news. He thought for the second time that day how strange the people in his house were sometimes. Still, whatever made Sam happy. "I'll tell you what, I'm on my way to the store. I'll pick ya up a bag."

"Thanks, man," Sam said, patting Finn's shoulder and moving past him to go into the house.

"Hey Sam," Carol called as he walked through the door. She and Burt were sitting on the couch watching a movie.

Burt nodded at him in greeting and asked, "How are you parents?"

Sam smiled and waved at the adults. "They're great, they said to say hi."

"That's good. Kurt and Blaine are downstairs. They wanted me to send you down when you got home," Burt said before resuming the movie.

Kurt and Blaine? Uh oh, they have that gay radar thing that lets them know when guys like each other. I'll have to be careful...Hmm, I wonder if I'll develop that too.

Sam decided he'd just have to play it cool as he made his way down to the basement. He really wanted to talk to them about Rory, but not before he actually got to talk to Rory. He knocked before entering and called through the door, "Hey guys, it's me."

A little while later the door clicked open and Kurt answered looking mildly disheveled. "Sam, come in please."

As he walked into the room Sam noticed that Blaine waved but didn't get up. Sam blushed a little as he put two and two together and realized that he'd probably disturbed something. "Uh, I can come back later?"

Kurt's face flushed too as he realized that Sam was on to them. He doubted Finn would have even noticed anything.

"No, it's fine. Please sit down," Kurt answered, gesturing to a plush looking chair that Sam had never actually sat in before.

"So what's up?" Sam asked, taking the proffered seat.

"We want to talk about Rory," Blaine stated, taking the lead.

"Then shouldn't Rory be here?" Sam responded, not wanting to go behind his back and suddenly remembering Rory and Blaine's argument the day before.

"Not to Rory, about Rory," Kurt clarified.

"Guys, I don't want to talk about him behind his back. I know you mean well but–"

"Sam, please just listen to what Blaine has to say, ok?" Kurt said, cutting him off.

"Sam, I'm worried about Rory," Blaine said, leaning forward and looking Sam in the eye. "And I know you care about him too so I think you should be brought in on this."

That sounded fair and reasonable to Sam, nice even.

"Ok," he said, deciding to hear them out.

"I'm pretty sure Rory is dealing with something kind of serious. I tried to talk to him about it, but he wouldn't confide in me." Blaine went on, not wanting to out Rory, but wanting to convey to Sam that it was important. "I think he needs someone to talk to, but I think you're the only one he'll trust."

The pieces fell into place for Sam and he realized Blaine was talking about Rory's sexuality. Wow, I guess that gay radar is pretty good after all.

"I'll ask him about it," Sam said as he stood up, more than ready to leave. It would be really nice when they could talk about everything openly, but dancing around the issues just wasn't Sam's style.

"Sam wait, please," Kurt spoke up again. "It really is something important, and I don't think you realize how hard it's going to be for him to talk about it with you."

Sam reluctantly sat back down. "Thanks guys, I mean it. It's awesome that you're looking out for him, and I promise I'll take it seriously. I'll...I'll definitely be talking to him about this."

"He may tell you something you're not expecting, Sam," Kurt cautioned. "You cannot take it badly. I think he's close to snapping and I don't think he could take that."

You're right, Kurt, it was a total shocker, but I think I took it ok...wait close to snapping? Snapping how?

"What do you mean snapping?" Sam asked, worried that Kurt and Blaine did know something he didn't after all.

Blaine didn't know how to phrase this without giving away Rory's secret. He knew Sam could be naive sometimes, but he wasn't stupid. He was going to figure out what was going on if they said much more and Rory was the only person who should tell him.

"I think he's ashamed of the thing he's dealing with and that shame can be kind of dangerous. When I tried to talk to him about it, he basically ripped me a new one, and I think it was because of the shame." Blaine said, wording everything as carefully as possible.

"There's nothing for him to be ashamed of! He's amazing just the way he is." Sam snapped, defending Rory before he realized he wasn't actually being attacked.

Blaine and Kurt exchanged glances and noticed the way Sam gaped slightly and looked as though he'd said something he hadn't meant to.

"Sam, do you know what we're talking about?" Kurt asked. "I mean exactly what we're talking about."

Sam just shrugged and refused to look at either of them. He knew if he looked directly at anyone that would only make it worse. He hated the way he always tended to be such an open book.

"I think we're all trying to protect the same secret," Blaine remarked, watching Sam carefully.

Sam looked up at Blaine relieved. "Yeah, I think so," he admitted.

Kurt wondered if Rory had told Sam about his feelings for him, or just about being gay. The situation reminded Kurt an awful lot of his former infatuation with Finn, except that he'd always suspected Sam might be a little more open to other possibilities than Finn was. He had even had a fleeting interest in Sam himself when they'd first met. The blond had insisted he wasn't gay, and Kurt now knew that indeed he wasn't, but he felt like if anyone epitomized the term pansexual that person was Sam Evans. Sam fell in love fast and hard; until he was off the market for good it was probably only a matter of time until one of the people he fell for turned out to be a guy. Kurt envied Rory in a way. Having a gay crush on a straight friend was practically a rite of passage for every closeted gay person, himself included; however, unlike Kurt's, Rory's hopeless straight-boy fantasy might not actually be so hopeless after all.

Kurt pushed those thoughts away. He had Blaine, and Blaine was perfect for him. Plus having an actual gay boyfriend was so much easier.

"Sam, you probably don't understand what he's going through too well," Kurt remarked, already kicking himself for the way he'd phrased his statement.

Sam glared at him. "And just why not?" he asked.

"I didn't mean that the way it came out," Kurt said. "I just meant that you don't have any first hand experience with homophobia as a victim," Kurt emphasized, knowing full well that Sam did indeed understand and care about the pain it caused other people. That thought prompted him to add, "Or as a perpetrator for that matter."

Sam thought it over and realized that that part at least was true. He hadn't ever actually been in Rory's shoes, or Kurt's, or Blaine's. Was that going to change now? For the first time Sam thought about how it would feel to him if he were on the receiving end of that kind of prejudice. It would be tough, but at least Sam knew he would have his family and friends to fall back on. Rory on the other hand was thousands of miles away from home and already being bullied for being different. Rory hadn't even trusted Blaine with this. He really did only have Sam.

He must feel so alone, Sam thought in horror.

"He thinks people are going to hate him because of this...and some of them really will," Sam said as he looked up at Kurt and felt his eyes start to water.

Kurt was surprised to see the depth of pain on Sam's face. Maybe he had underestimated Sam's empathy. He crossed the room and knelt in front of Sam's chair. "We're all going to be there for him. No matter what," Kurt promised, making eye contact with Sam before leaning forward to hug him.

Blaine got up and stood behind Sam's chair. "For sure. Every step of the way," he vowed as he leaned down and hugged Sam from behind.